2016 THIS..........

Tired

yep all the driving has caught up to me. Took my BP thinking it may be high, we wrong I was. 119/65 damn good actually. im just having some tea, and it's bed. I swear I'm an old lady lately. This will change in a few weeks. Back to NYC in a couple of weeks. Then February to hear a band I've been waiting to hear for quite some time. Right sis? Lol   Well peeps I'm decompressing, so not much tonight, I'll be back though. New Year, new blogs comings your way, new poems, thoughts, rants and positive thoughts.  Ciao For Now

Well Done

     A tiring weekend but a great one. My surprise visit was well received. Getting there though was a chord. The drive was actually very easy, no cars BUT the fog was extremely think. It felt like I was driving through a cloud.  A friend of mine had said when he went skydiving you could taste the clouds. I imagine this was the same. I opened my window and it felt like I put my hand into something. It was that dense. At points I had to put my wipers on as it was misting strongly. It seemed if a car was in front of me (not often) it was swallowed up by the fog. I didn't realize how tense I was until it disepated and I relaxed. I wasn't afraid, just über concentrating. Even so I got to dads in great time and I went to a Starbucks to waste some time. Then I called him and wished him a Merry Christmas. So he was quite surprised when he answered the door and there I was. Lol all day he kept saying that he couldn't believe I was there.  Hubby was going to come, then he decided not to because the trip would not be good for his back BUT he actually caught a really bad cold and was running a fever yesterday so it's good he didn't come.
     I made a mini feast for me and dad. Roasted chicken, stuffing, spinach, baked sweet potato, cranberry sauce (that was ocean spray in the can hehe). I also made a nice beer bread using one of the Guinness I had brought.  I filled his plate high and he ate it all, sans one half of the potato. He still gas a good appetite.  88 this coming Tuesday and he is still spry. I'm fortunate.  So we ate, I did the dishes (no dishwasher at Eds gaff) then I put the kettle on and served the tea with this cake that a neighbor made for him. It was tasty, she said its popular from where they are from. Which is Guiana I believe.
     I made him a nice brekky next morning, I vegged a bit which was lovely. Then I met up with a friend and we went for brunch. I had a full English and I was explaining black pudding to her and she kept making faces. Was funny to see. I love the stuff. Was a great time, and then I went shopping. Made a lovely meatloaf for dad to have later on. I was so full from brunch I did not have dinner.  I did speak to a very dear friend. I met him when I was 2. Lol yep his name is Mike and he is the brother I never had. His mom was from England and I believe she started me with my love of England. We had a picture of the sacred heart in our kitchen, she had a picture of the Queen.  I spoke to Mike about 2 hours. We were so close, we even dated when I was about 17. He was almost 21 hehe such rebels.  It was a natural progression but we both agreed it wasn't right. It felt great but we were too close in thoughts and likes.  Like I said, brother from another mother.  I get that sometimes. Lol
     I also spoke to a friend of mine in England who I've never met but he is a nice enough guy. He's had some wife issues and they are divorced now but he would talk about her and I'd listen, give an opinion now and then. He's sweet, wish I knew someone I could set him up with.  When we were talking I realized who he sounded like. He sounds like Ringo Starr, the inflections, the scouse sound where things go up at the end of a sentence. I think that's scouse or is that gordy? Am I spelling them right.  He's not from Liverpool though, somewhere with an R.
      I even face timed with sis in New Jersey. She was visiting her parental units. I spoke to them as well, they are very cool people.  I will meet up with her one day so we can all go to the Amish Market. Looking forward to it.
     So I'm home now and I'm tired.  Hubs looks like hell warmed over, poor dear. We had dinner, and it's staying down for him. Which is good, gross but good. So now you have my run down, thrilled you are I bet.   My Yoda imitation. Hahaha. So ciao for now guys.

My Christmas Blog

     As I have been saying the last few blogs in regards to not feeling the holiday spirit, I realize it may have been depressing to read. That was never my intent. I am happy to say that this is changing as the day progresses today. Who knew it would be the fact that a quiet day with a few people doing catch up on emails that we just can'tr get to with our phone volume would help lighten my heart to Christmas.  Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and safe travels, the lights on the work tree, my desk all decorated and the Christmas music I'm listening to are working their magic. I celebrate Yule the other day and it was lovely but it didn't help the Christmas slump.
    I spoke to my neighbor and verified that my Dad has no invites for tomorrow but they are having him over for Christmas Eve dinner. That made me happy, they love my dad and I love them, They are wonderful people and you couldn't ask for better neighbors. So they know I am surprising my dad and we added that When I make a pie it will be shared with dad and also the neighbors.  YAY   Im now looking forward to going up and Im going to have my phone on video so I can see the loo on Dads face when he sees me standing there  hahahaha  oh boy   :-D
   I spoke to my friend over in England and also one of his ofspring  hehe   Who made mention of course that she is going to 13 in the upcoming year, almost a pensioner I tell ya. :-)  I also texted with Sis she is having a nice time with her parental units in Jersey.  Im saying that I feel like the Grinch whos heart is growing. I love these people, the year has been nuts and lots has happened, but they hold special places in my heart. My England family and my US family I wish you all the best Christmastime and I am sending you pure love and good thoughts. To all of you I hop ethis holiday season is wonderful no matter what youe celebrate.  Ciao For Now (oh its 67 degrees out at 5PM YUCK!!)

2:22 am Happy Winter Solstice

      In the Northern Hemisphere anyway.  Today will have the longest night then we start to see the return of the sun.  It happens slowly, but before you know it Spring will be here.  I am looking forward to it.  I love Yuletide but I'm still not feeling it.  I was excited to get something for some friends in England but it didn't pan out.  Hubs and I got a great present the other day and we are making use of it I think on NYE.  Going to see the new Star Wars.  Dinner then movie, sounds good to me.  Thank you again my friend for making it happen.    I am off to visit Dad on Thursday late.  I mean Friday early.  Lol well I'll be traveling about 3 in the morning. I hope he is happy to be surprised.  I'm hoping it makes him happy.
      There will be a full moon on Christmas also. Hasn't been since 1977, won't be again for like another 25 years.   That's cool, the moon shines bright into my room in the NY house.  I'm looking forward to having a great dinner with Dad. Hubs has been feeling ill so not sure if he's coming.  I believe so - I hope so.  I want to spend the day with my two guys. Crossing fingers.
      I'm hoping the New Year is better.  It's starting that way.  At least hubs is starting the year with a job.  I am so thankful. It's all I was hoping for. We can start rebuilding and by this time next year, I'll have cards and gifts done and wrapped. (And sent out).  Maybe bring Dad down to us (hopefully). It will be better (wishing). So it's 2:43now. I'm rambling. I'm going back to sleep for a few hours.
HAPPY SOLSTICE / HAPPY YULE to all of you     Ciao For Now

Where Are You Christmas

     I gotta be honest, I'm not feeling the Christmas/Yule vibe. I'm late with my cards. I hope my friends across the pond get theirs in time. I have no clue where the week after the first week of December went. Poof, it's gone! Scramble scramble time. Well in the words of Charlie Brown , I'm not going to let the commercialism get to me. Still a tad cooler weather may help. It's been so warm. I mean it will be good for our surprise visit to Dad and the subsequential trip up a few weeks later for our upstate dinner party, but a little snow is nice. I've got my gloves at the ready. Lol
     I find that many folks are feeling the same. So much is going on with everyone I know. I just want the new year to get here and for it to be fantastic and fruitful for all.  Hoping 2016 treats us all well, health, peace, love, happiness.  You know? That's the true gift I want to see all my dearest peeps get. I could go on and on, but won't. That's MY GIFT to you all. LOL  
    I find myself trying to look for photos of Christmas' past. I miss the simplicity I think. You had a turntable and your records, friends and family singing and dancing. Well trying to dance. My mom had wool carpet and many older cousins wore heels that would catch and well, they go boom! Yep right on their arses. Laughing their heads off since they were so drunk they felt no pain. Once my cousin was dancing and fell backwards her legs flying open right in front of my best friends younger brother.  He got a special Christmas view. I can still remember how red his face was.  We used to have a proper bar in the basement, of yeah, complete with bar stools and shelves and crystal decanters for the liquors. Very groovy.  It was a party basement.   Was when I took it over too but the term party went a little further.  hehehe   Mary stop that!!!  okay!  LMAO   Im a nutter indeed.  
   Okay Im saying Ciao For Now as I have to get back to work. I want to shoot my manager but hey it's the hols so I'll let it go.    

Yay Feeling Better

     How the hell do you go to bed feeling a little crappy and wake up full on stuffed up? Head all clogged, throat scratchy, mouth dry and yucky.  Ugh. But yes it's only Sunday so you take meds and go back to sleep. Wake up around half 10 and feel better but still not great.  So have a cuppa and take more meds, blow your nose and put Vicks capo rub on your chest and under your nostrils. Yay breathing is better.  Have a banana then just veg all day.  Have dinner. Fall asleep and come 10pm you are feeling much better.  Not to jinx it but hopefully s good night sleep and shower in the am will get you all sorted out.  I'm hopeful
     So that was my day, how was yours :-)  I have too much to do tomorrow to be ill.  Work then post office to mail overseas cards, others go out Wednesday. I also need to pick up my secret Santa gift.  I picked one of the guys in the office who wants chocolates.  So will go get him some higher end handmade yummies in town. Small batch and creamy.  I would have loved to get him some pink champagne truffles from my fav place in England.  They are divine but not enough time to order them.  I love them myself lol. So I must say our office pot luck went very well.  I'm so happy. I was thanked for organizing it which was nice so this Secret Santa dessert party is part 2.   I was going to bake cookies, then changed my mind so many times.  I'm going to whip up a decadently yummy cannoli dip.  Then serve it with waffle cookies and vanilla wafers to dip with.  It tastes just like the cream inside a cannoli.  So good. Who doesn't like cannolis? I mean really. I am heading to the dollar store to get a pretty bowl to put it in.  We will again shut the phones and have music and exchange gifts. It's this Wednesday.
    I know several people going to see Stars Wars this coming week, lucky peeps.  I have questions I hopevtheyvwill answer.  I don't care if they are spoilers. I'm going to see it.  Hope they tell me. Made my hot cocoa mix to give out.  Just have to jar them.  I'm going to the post office to ship on Ssturday. Going early. It will be packed.  Wish I could get more for people but just starting to get back on my feet.  Have no real money to speak of.  But it's going to be a better year this 2016.
     I've got more to say but I'm going to wait for tomorrow as I'm tired. Meds kicking in. So until next time. Ciao for now.

Wow, I Wrote That?

Ever get thoughts in your head that come like rapid fire, all at once. So when you write them you are not even sure what you're writing?  That happens to me sometimes. Usually if I'm emotional or drunk, or both.  Lol. Well this was one from last week.  I wrote it in my notes on my phone.  Read it this morning for the first time.  Hmmm?!

     Time for shadow play. You know it. Images on the ceiling appear night after night - the light over in another room brings them to life. The ones who keep you company, the ones who never leave. Only change as your world rearranges, making new images. 

Seek the ones who are the Constants. You know where they are too, but oh the excitement of finding a new favourite 

The perception changes

Interesting, I must ponder.  Ciao For Now 

Brief hello

I have been busy this weekend. At my Dads and got to see friends I haven't seen in years, met the wife of a friend finally. We are friends on Facebook but now in real life too. Met my little cousin who is just over a year and walking and babbling plus was great to see her Dad and Mom.  Haven't seen my cousin J in many years.  So it was a very fun - very FILLING weekend. I have put some pounds on in the last few months as stress eating will do that but it's time to be good again. My chin is back and I hate that.  That's where I show I've gained weight. Within a few weeks I puff up.  Now a few weeks from now, it will de-puff.  Hahaha. It is and will be a constant for me.  Where as you look at my dad and he's so thin that a good wind will knock him down.
     Okay said I would be brief, so I'm about to have breakfast with dad. Then I'm heading back to VA. I'll be back peeps so Ciao For Now

Weekend Wind Down

     Sunday night and all is well at home. Been a time for a small shopping spree. Spree being defined as Dad and Hubs. Lol. My dad will not buy anything, he has no trouble spending money, he's just not the tape to make purchases, he's a great food shopper but as far as gifts Ho he's a money guy. He's also very hard to buy for. He's stuck in the 1970's. Technology doesn't come into play. Oh he has his cable TV and knows all his channel numbers by heart. We bought him a DVD player years ago and I think it's been used 2x, both times by me. So for dad this year, he's getting a new toaster and coffee maker with a new cool mug. These are practical I know, but he uses them every day, so we know they will be appreciated. We are thinking of a space heater that looks like a radiator also. He keeps his home at about 69 degrees and sometimes the living room and kitchen can be chilly. The upstairs is nice and toasty as heat rises so I'm not worried while he's sleeping. BUT it might be nice to have it near him as he watches tv or has breakfast or eats dinner. I may bring that when I visit on my surprise Christmas visit. I wish I had the money to redo the entire home. New furniture, appliances, an entire new bathroom and have a water closet built on the main floor so he doesn't have to go either up or downstairs. I don't like him climbing all those stairs if he doesn't have to.  Maybe have a cleaning team come in to scrub the cabinets and walls, etc.  If I had a few months to stay there I could do it all myself but a few days every month and a half doesn't cut it.  Ah my dreams. :-)
     So this week is our office gathering also. Making the cocktail meatballs. Some people asked what to bring so I asked them to bring fruit and veg platters. We need something healthy.  Lol. Looking very forward to the upcoming weekend in NYC.  Will be so nice. A bunch of friend at a biergarten, yep yep, good times. I'm also looking forward to going for tea on Sunday, this place uses Yorkshire Gold as their house brand, that's what I'm talkin 'bout!  Their scones are totally yummy too. Food food food, so much, but been really good. Thanksgiving the only terrible thing we ate was the mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie and in reality neither is that bad.  But I'm watching but as I said, I'm not worrying either. BP is good and that's what matters to me. Health above all.
      Going to look for boots, see ya. Hahaha.  Ciao For Now

You Have To Create Your Own Amusement

Sometimes, life just gets crazy, work gets nuts and today I swore I was not going to get annoyed or super frustrated at ee's calling in with stupid questions after all if they don't call, I don't  have a job but of course sometimes its hard to do. But today I got through it on a mostly upbeat attitude and to keep sane you amuse yourself. You play little games like when you get that lovely Java spinning circle you try to get the two circles to line in with each other or line up your cursor so it looks invisible, stupid little things  but this was my afternoon glory. I made my self chuckle after I wrote this out

WTF  I made myself laugh at that   HAHAHAHA    I'm a goof  

Ciao babies!!! 

Just A Break

     So our heroine is sitting at her desk munching on a serving of frosted mini wheats.  I prefer eating it this way instead of adding milk. It gets too soggy too quickly and its easier to eat.  I had a cup of tea as soon as I got in but we've been swamped and I jumped into emails as soon as I came in. So now I'm actually having a bit of brekky.  Not been very hungry the last few day, not sure if that's good or bad, LMAO  I was put in charge of our office holiday pot luck. It's like trying to heard cats!  Not the easiest thing in the world to do. Very few people have gotten back to me in regards to what they are bringing.  I myself keep going back and forth on what to make. I think I'm settled on a corn souffle or two. They are easy peezy and OMG so very tasty.  I know we already have butter chicken, beef and rice dish, apple pie, sugar cookies, yep going to be a feast but to be fair there will be at least 35 people coming.  I think I will send out a reminder email, especially since we are off Thursday and most are also off on Friday. I opted to work on Friday as we are going to the in-laws on Thanksgiving and Friday we are open to do emails only so I'm happy to just go, put in the ear buds and knock out emails whilst enjoying my tunes.   :-D
     Yes the holiday are officially upon us I suppose, as I said in my last post, the scents are here. So are the mega displays set up in all the stores and even the grocery stores.  hell they had Christmas candy almost at the same as the halloween candy. Makes me wonder how old the candy actually is. Im not a fan of US candy. I like European chocolate better, its richer, less sweet and more satisfying, to me anyway.  I did see, in the UK section of our really cool grocery store, Terry's oranges. If you've never had one, you need one!! lol
     So yes we finally got our invite to Thanksgiving. I reached out to my SIL and she replied of course you are invited, seems she had asked my BIL a few days back to ask but he hadn't. Backstory, they had helped a bit financially and since then its been weird. I hate that, and the thing is if doesn't have to be. SIGH   But I'm glad we are going, family matters and I have such a small immediate family.  OhOh I am so happy, This trip I was able toget a few extra days off and besides the awesomness of getting to see sis a few extra times I am finally getting to meet up with a good friends wife.  I've known him for many many years but he got married and was living in FL so now they live in Queens near my Dad, and we are all going for tea on that Sunday. Me, sis, her and her oldest boy (at least) are heading to this tearoom that I've been with Sis. To make the trip even better, Dad asked me if i was going to make out his Christmas cards so I figured I would do that the Monday and I told him that we are going out to lunch to this pub called Trinity he likes. Its a nothing special irish pub but its close and friendly locals. he enjoys their cottage pie so I told him lets go AND HE SAID YES!! he never wants to go out, so I told him he can buy me a Guinness.  I'm looking forward to that. May see if Sis wants to come for dinner that night, note to self, ask her  lol
     Well Im going back to work and will end this here, So Ciao For Now

It's Beginning To Smell ALot Like Holidays LOL

    I have to say I REALLY REALLY love scent. Bath & Body Works, Molten Brown, Pucci, Prada, Kenzo, Balenciaga, Channel, Givenchy, Armani, Yankee candles, perfumed bath products, powders, bubbles, not to forget rain (yes rain), fresh cut grass, flowers, the ocean,cookies baking...somebody stop me!!!  Lol.  
    It's time now for the winter scents I love. Cinnamon, cloves, mixed with pine and cranberries, oranges dotted with cloves as decorations.  Very old tradition. Going on tangent here, but ever wonder why people stick cloves in citrus. Lemons were used back in olden days. Let's face it, dentistry wasn't the best so a gentleman, when courting a lady, offered her a lemon studded with cloves. She would then take it and take one of the cloves to chew on, this would freshen your breath. Then they would have kissed.   Okay I'm back from tangent land.
     Customs and traditions, they do mean something. Scent plays big for me anyway.  All the scents of the holiday.  The scent of different foods cooking, all melding into one delicious smelling symphony. Then walking out into fresh snow, you could smell the freshness, I kid you not.  They can be overwhelming I admit it, too much of anything can be.  But I love these Winter scents, even in perfumes. :-D but that's for another blog.
     I know this is short, so am I. Ha! So ciao for now

The Real Deal

I want to be a positive person, the world is doing its best to prevent this. I could easily crawl into my own little safe world and go mad. I WILL NOT GIVE IN!! I will no longer care if I gain a pound or have one too many cocktails. I will go to work and do my due diligence but Im going to enjoy life as much as possible and not worry what anyone thinks of me. I know right from wrong.  I'm tired of every damn post on Facebook being about refugees, or terror, or humans hating other humans, its the truth and I know this, but as I will deal with all of that, as I cry for the pain the world is going through- I will also remember I am here to make a fucking difference SOMEHOW to SOMEONE or SEVERAL SOMEWHERE.  I will post pictures of my cat or stupid  funny things and people so we dont forget to smile. If we forget that then they have won indeed!!

I Will Not Walk On Eggshells

     At least I will try. This latest attack in Paris was tragic. The killings in Bagdad were also as are all the senseless killing. Paris sticks out as it was like 911.  Not a country under fire but a innocent place. Nothing to make you think of terrorists or death.  I live not far from DC and friends have relatives working in places where they say there is credible threats that may be another 9-11. Scary especially with the holiday season here.  Look I'm cautious and I'm aware but if it's my time to die I will die. If it's at the hand of someone who hates me for my beliefs  at least I know I kept my beliefs. I do not hate anyone of any religion.  These people are not religious. They have hidden behind a religion where even its followers have perished. Religion has caused so many problems, every religion over the years has flexed its muscles. I'm not afraid, I am cautious but I will live my life. I'll still worry about friends, that's just me, always will. Lol.  Just a note from the round chick, who's enjoying cuddles with the kitty right now. Going to go brush her, major purrs coming. Hehe.  Ciao for now

When

When did life become a throw away? It seems everything is disposable now. Even life itself. People kill do easily. I don't know, maybe it's always been easy, maybe my parents just did a fantastic job of sheltering me from all the evils of this world. Maybe! But I see them, I don't understand them. Oh I get the surface value, but the deep down insides. That's what I have a hard time grasping. People lately are getting bent out of shape for the simplist things. The whole Starbucks red cups thing was just embarrassing for the human race. It was beyond ridiculous.  Children and elderly being mistreated, homeless people, animal abuse, the world has enough real problems.  Take the money you spend on that cup and donate to a shelter or issue of your choice. Much better now. I'm not the smartest person, but I'm not stupid either. I know right from wrong and what is senseless drama. I've gone enough rants in my day. Tonight Paris is in my thoughts, again, throw away life. It makes me feel as I did when NYC was attacked. But I have issues at home that I need to deal with. I have a hubby who drank himself to sleep. Who woke up briefly to say he's hurting and as I watched tears rolling down his face, I felt as helpless as I ever did. I had hoped this had gone away for good but apparently not. He's sleeping again, snoring pretty loudly. I don't mind it, I just wish he'd listen and try going to another dr. but can't force him either.  Oh well.   I'm going to sleep with a heavy heart tonight. Not for me, but for the tragedy in Paris and for my hubby, I wish I could take his pain away. I'm good though. I had a great night with some friends, tasty drinks and laughs. Ah life, you whimsical elf. You have so many faces to show us.  Keep them positive okay?    Ciao For Now

Sanity Day

     So let's see, it's been awhile. Last week at work was hellish but my check this week is almost a decent check. Lol. So today I took a sanity day. I've done nothing and it's been delightful. I'm feeling a bit scratchy but then everyone at work, sans myself and two others have been sick. There's a respiratory "thing" going around the office. With all my lung issues, I've been very careful. Organic honey, lemon, lots of vitamin C. I am surprised that my BP is up a little. Last time I took it this morning was 155/76. The 76 is fine, it's the 155 I'm concerned about. 120 is "normal" and I've been running under. Perhaps the stress of the week did me in. I'll take it tonight.  Otherwise I'm good.  
     I've been purusing through boards on Pinterest for Christmas ideas. You know ornaments and handmade things to give. I had made my mind up and I think I'm staying with it, the first thoughts are usually the right ones. I need to get myself to the container store to look for a few items. That store is awesome for Christmas wrapping and boxes. Making some madelines too I think. I'm going to ship them overseas, think they will travel well. Oops my English friend now knows a gifte. Lmao I like to bake and these are quite nice with tea.
      I'm feeling a bit depressed today, I am not sure why. I'm missing my friends. Sis is going to see some bands and I'd love to hang with her, miss doing things. Still hoping by next year all is settled here in VA. My dear friend from across the pond is in town for a few more days and I'm not seeing him. I truly miss him, hopefully if he does come in the spring we get a day out. These two people are family to me, the sister and brother I never had. It's raining today so maybe this is not helping my mood but I enjoy the rain. Yeah I'm weird like that. I think it's the not doing anything, it's so fucking frustrating not to have cash to do anything fun. Thankfully bills are paid, but it's the extras that matter sometimes you know?  Ah well, I need to fix MY life, I have lots to think about. I will get it sorted. Think it's the day, cat is being really needy today. Lol I can't go anywhere today without her wanting cuddles, but she's a cutie - so okay. Well peeps, I'm going to appease the kittah, she's nuzzling my iPad. Ciao For Now

As Time Goes By

     Tonight is my 3rd day I've worked OT. I will do what I can to get our bills paid. I'm not afraid of work, I am not picking the right 6 lottery numbers, so work it is. LOL
     I find myself with some odd rash on my hands. They itch like a mofo but no idea why. It's crazy. I'm putting eczema cream and coconut oil on them every night, it helps, but the air is getting dryer and I find myself scratching and I know it will go away (it's not like the thing hubs had) but it's just annoying. Someone at work has the same issue. Odd right? Maybe it's something in the work air. No open windows, one reason the colds and flays run wild through the office. Well - it will be beat, I know this.
     So I was going to start reviewing and DIYing. So I just saw that Melissa McCarthy came out with a clothing line.  It's at Lord & Taylors, not the cheapest of places but then again fat girl clothes are not cheap anyway. Not decent ones and many times, yes even if they are not good they can end up costing you big bucks. Flimsy material, ill cut hems. But to find fashionable big gal clothes takes a keen eye.  I like what I like, I have a look. I like tunic style blouses, flowy slacks, boots. I also like lace and a velvety feel. Sis has a great eye too. I love shopping in her closet. Haha. Okay, back the the McCarthy line. Color me underwhelmed. Seemed a bit dowdy.  Not one going to seek out, maybe on a sale.   So Rebel Wilson has a new line as well. This is sold at Torrid. I like this one better. More youthful. Some a bit too much so for me, but the prices are a bit lower so yay for that. I like Tortid and I recently found that there is one at a mall near my home. Awesome! I will keep going to Catherine's for work attire and I like The Avenue. I have good luck there.   Also there are stores I've yet to try, Asos and Modcloth are two. I'll let you know when I get something from them.
    My DIY started as I purchased a big bag of rice ( so inexpensive) to make one of my holiday gifts. No it's not rice pudding hahaha, you will see.  I need to start this weekend in ernest if I am to get them done.
     We have been so busy, to today we had 74 calls in queue at the highest total.  I gave not been on Facebook much and I went in on a break this afternoon and my friend posted herself playing and singing a song. I adored watching this. It really broke through the tense feeling I was getting from all the calls coming in. It took me away for a few minutes. Isn't that what music does though? She's come so far in about 10 months, self taught guitar playing. Excellent. She comes by it honestly, her parents are musically inclined.  They have been feeding us at work also. Bagels, doughnuts, fruits, yogurt, chips.  Nice spreads, so much for going low carb this week.  Hoping to start back on this idea soon. Lol
Well peeps, I'm going to wind down a bit more before sleep.  so Ciao a For Now

It's 9:30 (Almost)

     So tonight I was able to leave work at 8 instead of 10, hopefully this holds true for tomorrow. I don't mind the work or the OT, but 12 hour days wear you down. I can use the cash though.
     So my new desk area is not too bad. I teased them, saying, you put a fat girl on the aisle? But it's good. The guy I sit beside us a good guy. He's young but has a good work ethic. Military school does that I imagine. He grows his beard easily and this past weekend he shaved it very close. I was noticing tonight how young he actually looks? It made me feel, I'm not sure. Lol.  I was thinking today of changes. A year makes a big change. This weekend , well Monday actually, it's a year since I flew to England. Lots has changed since then. I'm amazed at how much really. In another year it will change even more. I'm tired and going to bed. It's now 10.00. My tea is finished. Ciao for now peeps

So Monday Is Here and Guess What

The time entry is not going to start until TOMORROW!! This is a good thing as I don't have to wash my hair and can sleep a bit longer in the am. Had a very bad sleep night last night.  I think it was the crap food we ate. I don't mean crap that it tasted bad but crap in that it was not any kind of healthy. here is a pic of the slice of cake that could feed 4. Its at home now with 4 bites taken out, I think its going to last all week  lol

I have not eaten any of the whipped cream and the scary thing is , it HAS NOT melted or lost its shape. Im not touching it. LOL 

OKAY Its 5:42 and they may open the time entry so I, along with 3 others and now staying tonight but only until 8.  Tomorrow is until 10. It will be that way all week  Can you say major OT and since its after 6PM there is another 10% shift diff added on.  I can use it and hubs just texted me asking if I need him to drive over some food.  How sweet of him to ask.  But I think I will just have some cereal maybe , something light when I get home.  I also have apples and a banana at home.  Thats if I even eat, if Im tired i just usually don't eat anything, just have some tea and wind down.  

     I just found out that there is a TORRID near me, big gal store with uber cute stuff.  I am happy about this as I am looking for a neat outfit to wear for my holiday soiree in Dec in NY.  Hopefully everyone will come and we can claim the backroom of the pub and have a great jolly time. I'm looking forward to it. I am taking 4 days , weekend plus 2 vacation days, this way I don't have to rush.     Well peeps, I'm out I need to do some testing for work. Ciao For Now

Quarter To Three

.    No one in the place, except for you & me, so set Em up Joe, I go a little story to tell.   Lmao. That worked out well. Thing is I should be asleep, I've got a day that may go 12 hours tomorrow. I know we are open, wether or not I am staying I'm not sure. There is a new time entry system starting tomorrow, (today), and while it's fairly simple, there will be many calls, I know this.  I had to record a message about it.  Oh yeah, got hot to tell you, I did the phone tree message again. So when you call us, you hear me. :-D
     I have been on the brink of a cold for almost 2 weeks. Everyone at work is sneezing, sniffling and coughing. So far, I've managed to steer clear, but my nose is a little stuffy tonight and I'm feeling stifled. I turned the fan on in the bedroom for circulation of the air. It's better, but I'm craving ice water, something really cold. Ever get like that? It's a not sick yet not sick feeling.  Very annoying indeed. Looking forward to a nice long shower in a few hours.
       Going to head up to NYC in about a month. A friend of mine will be there soon, then off to Asia. Wish him safe journeys. A year ago I was getting ready to go to England. How a year changes things. Ah the cat just came in to investigate my sitting up. And she just jumped on then right off the bed, lol, I'm not very exciting right now.  Actually peeps, just thought I'd say hello. Going to go back to sleep, so ciao for now.

Tonight

.   The day goes by, then BAM! The memory hits you right between the eyes. Tonight 18 years ago was the last time I saw my mother alive. We had to dress in gear with masks, not touch her, it was so hard not to though.  We were there and brought her ice cream, she didn't speak much, too weak but she said -  more?  We let her know that we would bring more the next night. It never happened, 5 am the next morning the hospital called my Dad. She passed away in her sleep. I'm hurting right now, I've got tears streaming down my cheeks. It's nothing that thousands, millions of people have experienced but it's MY mom. It's funny that the night we left, my Dad went to give her a kiss and he stopped because we weren't supposed to touch her. I told him, fuck that, dad give her a kiss. So he did and so did I. Not am I glad we did.  We told her "love you " as we left. She replied "love you too", she hesitated then said "love you both". Like she knew or something.  
I think of her so much and then some days I don't give her a thought but when I realize it I feel guilty. I know that's so stupid. She raised me well, not that I always took her advice, but she was a wonderful mother. I miss her terribly. 18 years has not made me forget one thing, it's mellowed as the shock is gone, but I know I will never fully forget ever. I will take her memory with me forever.  I think the fact that we didn't have another ice cream for her makes me go overboard with people. Doesn't always work right though lol. But whatever.  I love you Mom. On your 18th anniversary of passing into Summerland tomorrow, I will light a candle. I know Dad is doing also. He already told me so. He misses you Ma, very very much.   Okay I'm crying again, I'm out. Ciao

Easier Than One Would Think

     Facebook withdrawal? Not really. I did go on in the very morning to see what the night brought but other than that and a very brief log on early afternoon for about 2 minutes I have not been on facebook at all today.   Instead I downloaded the Kindle app on my PC at work and synced my library. So on my breaks and at lunch I read my book. It was very enjoyable I must say. I love to read and i found myself heading to facebook more out of habit than actually interested in it. A few friends I check all the time, Sis of course, my friends from the UK and of course family are the ones I looked for any updates but once I checked I got off there.  Took all of about 8 minutes total for the day.   In the meantime I read about 6 chapters of my book and plan to read more tonight (it's getting good lol) Imagine that, and I will say it's refreshing NOT to read all about Hillary or Trump or the articles that are written by the spin doctors for both sides. It's a circus really, and the ring leader in in the White House now but I won't go on about that as it makes me angry. Must keep BP down  LMAO
    I really am letting things go, I don't know what caused this epiphany but its happening at a good time. I am friends with whom I want to be friends with and realizing more and more that many are just acquaintances, good ones, but acquaintances. I care about them but its not going to make or break if I don't hear from them. My family,  Sis, my other Sis in Maine, my Bruv in England (Oh yes that's how I see him now, very dear and delightfully antagonistic in a good way LOL) are the ones I care about!   I look at it this way, if I need to be reminded its your birthday, well.................
     So in a weird way I feel lighter as if i've lost a great deal of weight. I have, mental weight! I'm still mental thought have no fear, I AM ME, my core being is not changing, but I am calmer, still love to laugh, love to cause good havoc and there for my =dear hearts when they need me as much as I can help or do for them.   So I am here peeps. I am going to be doing reviews on clothes and DIY project very soon, oooh thrills I'm sure plus all my normal banal chatter. So see ya all tomorrow, Ciao For Now

The Land Of Nod

.    I hope to visit there early tonight. By early I mean at least 11pm. It's crazy, but sometimes I get so tired some days. Not like I do manual labor, but some days employees just work your nerves.  Like today.  One of the new gals, sweet young lady. About 20 years old ( oh was I ever 20? Lol) had an employee on the phone. Could hear her talking and saying Sir why would I lie to you. Why indeed? Some of these employees have chips on their shoulders and feel you are purposely not telling them what they want to know. Well he got very abusive and one of our agents stepped in. She left the room. She came to my desk to get a tissue. It was obvious she was crying. I got up and motioned to her to follow me into the kitchen.  We sat and I talked to her about the lovely world of being a CSR. I know people see most as the ones who call you just as you are about you eat dinner, that's a telemarketer NOT a customer service rep. Many CSR's can be idiots I will admit. But those of us who gave done this for a living know it's takes a certain type of person. Part gentle, part caring, part masochist. LMAO. Well I spoke to her about many of the employees who call, and how it runs the gamut from the ones who love you to those who want you dead. Even got her to laugh a little. We got up and she hugged me, said thank you. The rest of the day went okay for her.  She's a good kid, and has learned quickly. Now it's timekeeping her  to learn her finesse. That's what keeps you sane.  People pick on us but we really have to handle a lot. We have to know a bit of every department. You gave a job and you do if great button it's one job. Do that plus about 10 other departments all the while keeping up with changes. Then learning it well enough in a few days so that we can walk you through it when you call. So yeah. She will be okay, I felt a bit mother hen like but hey it was needed.
     That really is all my excitement today. Haha, such an exciting life. So ciao for now peeps

Not a bad day at all (crossing fingers)

    Don't want to jinx that. LOL   The day has gone on decently, despite us now separated from 10 of our former co-workers/friends.  I was training a new person on Benefits also, wasn't expecting that.  Went well as the woman has been here some time and just by close proximity is familiar with a lot of it. Same as I was with payroll and expense. I am on a different shift, I now work at 8:30 until 5. I moved up half an hour  which pleases me. It funny how different that half hour makes. Its nice that banks are now open later too.  I am getting excited as Samhain is coming. Its always special for me since moms passing but I have added people over the years.  Its a remembrance of lives lived fondly and fully.
    Weekend was a bust, got lots of cleaning done which is a good thing, but not much else. Stayed close to home. Started addressing Christmas cards for Dad if you can believe it.  I had them and why not? LOL   Not much peeps, don't think you want to hear how I scrubbed the bathroom sparkling clean  hahahahaha     I f you do let me know :-D    So ciao for now   will be back

A memory

I read in the news about an elderly gentleman who called a radio station in the UK. Seems his wife ( at age 95 I believe) went into a nursing home. The man was lonely as he had no one to talk to. The DJ sent a rack to his home and brought him to the radio station to chat fade to face. The phones went nuts, everyone wanted to speak with him. How wonderful, a simple act of kindness, brought a huge smile and some company to this man. I told the hubs and I started to cry. It made me think of my dad.  Soon after my mom was buried, we all were having breakfast, and my dad started to cry, I mean sobbing. It broke my heart.   He loved her and now he was alone. He had us but it's not the same. It was hard to watch, I admit this freely. It just passed through my thoughts and decided to share. Tell those you love how you feel. You never know. Ciao

The split has happened & the weekend is here

The government team all have gone and they will not be here on Monday morning, I already have separation issues.  We all know each other and there are some I will see after work but its not the same.  But I also have a weird feeling that new things are happening.  Halloween or Samhain as I call it is the witches new year. A time to reflect and honor those who have passed but also to look towards the future.  I have a good feeling, this is new for me. Its been a struggle but I feel very positive about the coming year. I dont know why, but I just do. Im going to do my best to keep this feeling.   Despite that my new seat may be on the aisle. I dont care for that, you dont put a fat chick on the aisle NOOOOOOOOOO  LMAO  :-D

Its Friday, you all have a fabulous weekend and I will be back next Monday as I'm sure I'll have something to chat about.  Ciao For Now

Just some Seasonal Pics Today LMAO

Mid-Day On A Hump Day

    The office buzzing with those that are moving downstairs to the government sector. I'm feeling more emotional than I thought I would.  The Ed Sheeran songs coming through on my earbuds is not helping as many of his songs are a good playlist for these feelings. Most of these people I've worked with for many years.  A few I actually gave my approval for hire after interviewing them, back when i was a supervisor. Its great not to have to pack up all my things again but i feel a sense of loss with them moving downstairs.  Its odd, communication will be a minimum.  Even the emails are changing. They will no longer be on business skype and the floors will be key coded now.  ACK!!   New era starting, Good or Bad? We will see - here's hoping for the latter. I'm going to stay positive, previous writing excluded. LOL
     Not a whole lot going on which is good.  I'm finding all sorts of things cleaning out the store room. Did I mention? I forget - senior blonde moment HORROR LMAO    I found a halloween Barbie doll still in her package. She is dressed in purple orange and black  and has a pointy hat on HA!  I found make up I bought also. its make up I used to wear years and years back, when I used to hang out in the 80's. I'm going to play with it this weekend after I get home from bringing the car in for an oil change and 20,000 mile check up.  SEE nothing exciting. Although taking a drive into the mountains to take in the fall colors  and walk in the apple orchards with hubs is a really good day! There may even be an apple pie in his future :-D
     Well I will not bore with the mundane doings as lunch has about 5 minutes left and I need to make a cup of tea to get ready for the afternoon doings.  I know - crazy life right  BWAHAHAHAHAHA
PEACE and be happy guys  that's what really matters - Happy can sometimes look like crazy and vice versa :-D      Ciao For Now

IM BACK!! I am bored!! LMAO  I do not like this  I prefer to be busy then notice its time to go home. I do like some down time don't get me wrong but a nice balance. Kind of like when you get a new tattoo and they are doing the outline and it starts to hurt a bit, then they stop to wipe it down. Thats what I mean . Okay just came back and Im excited i have decided what I'm making for presents for my friends, I think they will like them   LOL    I have ideas that I think are brilliant and then well they may not be in reality so if this is the case and you get one,........I love you   hehehehe   CIAO (again)

The Verdict Is In

     Today I finally found out today which side of the split in my company I will be in. I am going to be on the commercial side. I'm not so thrilled but it's okay, the government side of the Helpdesk is quite small. They will be swamped.  My side will also be swamped but for different reasons. We have enough people but two new programs are rolling out that we are going to get pounded with.  I'm okay with all of it except that I will no longer be with my manager. I also gave list most of the people I talk with most. We are all upset with it, but not much we can do.  I'm just a bit down. I'll get over it lol  I'm just a bit sulky tonight. But I'm not going to condem something that hasn't happened yet, we shall see. I'm going to stay optimistic and wait on judgement.  

     I'm signing off, just wanted to update the info as I've been talking about it.  Ciao For Now

      

Snow?

     So this weekend....got to see Sis, but didn't go as planned. I have some kind of stomach bug thing. Yes I checked, that's the technical term.  The drive up was fairly uneventful, yay, this is a good thing. So I woke up Saturday and felt like shite. Just kind of achy, ran a few dad errands, bought a new blouse and pair of boots to go out in. Well as the day played out it got worse. sis said I'll come by and bring some dinner over. So I told her thank you and she came by and brought meatball heros for us to enjoy.  A hero is a NY way to say a sub sandwich, or grinder they have many names. Dad, Sis and I all ate just one half.  Lol they were big. Yummy too.  So she stayed a while, we went to CVS to get the make-up she's going to need for Halloween. After that she went to hear the band and I went in and read a little, had a cup of tea with Dad, then went upstairs to my room and chilled. Took some Pepto and lit some candles. Just went online and watched a few episodes of Grace and Frankie on Netflix. If anyone has suggestions on series to watch, let me know. I know Breaking Bad and The Walking Zdead, but I mean others. My one friend recommended Penny Dreadful, it looks interesting.  Any others will always be considered.
       The tummy is still not happy. Driving home was interesting, several more stops than normal. I HATE I mean HATE having to use the rest stop toilets. I go to two specifically, that I know are clean and tidy. I went off the highway to go to a restaurant for the 3rd stop.  All said and done, I am driving through Aberdeen MD, and I see these two objects in the sky. Perfectly spaced, but not moving.  I know they're not aircraft in the provincial sense. So I call hubs and ask if the military has such a craft. I mean a plane that can hang there. Seems there are two, but one can only do it for a few minutes, since these were there for about 14 minutes at this point, it seems they could be Ospreys. Aberdeen us near the army base. So as I'm driving it starts to rain. It's been sprinkling on and off for an hour or so. Then the raindrops start getting big, then they turn to wet snow. I couldn't believe it. SNOW! It's not even Halloween yet. I know that this happens up in parts of Canada and upstate NY. Not in MD, not in the mid Atlantic.   I'm thinking the predictions for a snowy winter may be correct. I love it but it hinders my traveling to see my Dad. We shall see.
     Well peeps I'm going to bed. Hubs made me some peppermint tea to settle my tummy. So I will say Ciao For Now.

Busy Day Indeed

     As today winds down I'm watching the sunlight move slowly across the floor. At my old desk this would be the hours when I'd be blinded by the setting sun. It would come through one of the bank of windows and get me dead on in the eyes.  I sometimes would just put my sunglasses on , you know, because I'm cool that way :-D
     So many changes happening, all these new programs and websites they are training me in, it makes my head spin.  I had 3 days of training and I'm on the calls already, I now handle not just all the HR calls that come in, I do time entry, and pay roll. We all are doing this.  I'm thinking after the new year and we know whats doing and if hubs gets a new contract,  I will look for new work in earnest. (hows that for a run on sentence, pretty good eh?)  HEHEHE

    In the meantime - a few words of Mary wisdom  LMFAO
- if you loose your cool with someone, don't be afraid to say I'm sorry 
-  Friends, even the best and dearest will not tell you everything, don't pry, if they want to share they will. Just be there for them if they do 
- Never and I mean NEVER  pluck your eyebrows when you are angry
- Same goes for driving if possible
- Lastly, and perhaps the most important of all, when you go to the toilet, before you sit down, make sure there is paper!!  ;-D  lol     

Ciao For Now - weekend starts tomorrow WHOOT WHOOT, off to NYC I go around 7PM   :-D 

NEVER AGAIN (well I'm sure I will though)

I AM PISSED OFF and a little hurt too.   I bring in candy and I bring in bagels when I go to NY I have done this through all my years here. lately its been more scarce on the candy as one - I don't eat it and two - I don't have the extra cash flow to do it.   So today I didn't bring my lunch, I found out that a few people ordered to get from this one place  so I ping the one guy to see if I can add to the order & he pings back that he is already getting for 4 other people. These are sandwiches btw  not platters.  So I say okay never mind.  So they leave just now and 6 people leave,  I was like 6 people are going??? So one of these people could not get me the sandwich??  Granted yes I could have went myself but my lunch was used helping someone who had a HR question, he normally doesn't do HR and I was not going to say I'm on lunch no I wont help you. I can't do that  there were no other HR reps nearby.  So I guess i just overreacting but part of me is like really!!??  I will help anyone at any time taking time from my own down time  (I've done this before my choice I know) But god forbid I ask that a sandwich be added to a bag of one person when 6 leave!    Am I wrong, would you be a but ruffled at this?   I don't expect to be served but I have helped this person in the past, I have gone and gotten things for them, sigh   I'm too sensitive I guess. I needed to vert this   Thanks :-D

So As We End The Day

     Sitting here with hubs, after a light meal, we are just letting work leave our bodies. Tonight it's a few favourite shows, a bit of birthday cake and tea. Perfect. It came in with no big fanfare, no presents or flowers and that's okay. I had over 135 good wishes on Facebook, calls and texts from friends.  That's pretty damn good. A few stood out, a few made me laugh and a couple got me weepy. I think that's great. I share my birthday with a few folks. I believe Hugh Jackman's birthday is today as well as Alistar Crowley. Interesting for sure.
     As I start my next year I'm laughing at how ironic it is that hubs just got a job and had to work late so if we were going out tonight we would not have been able to.  We went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner last night. Had some lovely appletinis. Yes I went girly on the drinks. Also have had blueberry mojitos and other libations. They do a good job. Lol.  Dinner was great and of course cheesecake. They have about 35 flavours. I got pumpkin. Lol. I know I know had that last night and a piece of birthday cake tonight.  Bad Mary. Truth be told I hardly ate today I was so full. Had just bites today and a Special K breakfast sandwich for dinner. Lol. And cake. Hahaha. Tomorrow brings good eating again and working on me. So yeah. It was a nice birthday. I'm going to watch Scorpion and then go read then bed.  It's been an exciting day.  Lol. Ciao For Now

almost half 3 in the morning

Can't sleep.  Cat and hubby both snoring . Cats louder. Lol. Hope you all had a good weekend

Little Ditty

     Not much today peeps. Was a kind of chill day. Had my training meeting and will again tomorrow and Monday.  So next week I found out that we will be told what side of the company split we will be on. The weekend of the 23rd they are moving our desks and that Monday we will be in the new areas.  I'm really curious but very sad that I will not see many of these people unless we meet outside of work.  Seems we will not be able to access every floor in the building. Only the one we are assigned to.  Man I need to find a new place.
     Hubs is asking where to have dinner Monday.  I really am not feeling it.  There is so much more we need money for.  All the help we were given. It just doesn't seem right. Dinner. Flowers. Meh. I love them I admit that freely. No secret I love flowers or gifties but I'm going to wait until next year. In sure it will be all better. That's what I'm working towards. I feel like I'm ignoring people and when I speak with them it feels empty.  I hope I'm not alienating anyone but I've got so much to work on , to better me. To be a better friend.  Hang on you'll be pleased you did. I'm strong enough to do it. Just taking time.  One amusing thing today at work.  One guy and gal and I were talking. He's a funny guy and the girl just colored her hair. So he asked her, collars and cuffs match. She giggled. I shook my head and he then asked me. Said "so how about you?  I said no. He goes oh not a natural blond and I look him right in the eye and said I'm not bald. He gulped she was crying.  Lol yeah. I will miss working with many of these folks in a few weeks.
     That's it tonight.  Will be back. Ciao For Now

Mid Morning Funny

     I read a funny joke this morning, it was this;  A woman answers her phone and a pervert on the other end says I bet you have a tight ass with no hair, the woman says yes i do and he's out mowing the lawn, whom shall I say is calling?  :-D     So I shared this with the lady next to me at work. This started a discussion of weird things that have happened when we answer the phone.  I have always been in customer service in one form or another, for various companies over the years and I have heard it all.  TANGENT --->  I worked for the company that invented the MUZE kiosks that used to be in record stores in the US, not sure if they ever made it overseas.  If so, and you have seen or used one, this gal here , yep the one typing, is the one that named that little invention. Was a very cool place to work. OKAY BACK TO STORY. Well every other day or so I would get this guy calling on my phone saying the rudest things to me, really raw stuff. It surprised me more the first time, it didn't disgust or scare me. Well as this kept happening my manager finally got on the phone and told this guy off. He said this young lady doesn't need to hear your shit and these lines are monitored. Well the phone calls did stop, yes my knight in shinning armour.   Funny story from when I was first dating my hubby. He lived in VA and I still lived in NYC. He had left to go home and it was a long drive as there was always lots of traffic on late Sunday nights. I had fallen asleep and woke up about midnight, hadn't heard from i yet so I called him.  he answered and I say hey baby, how are you.  I'm all alone here in bed and so wish you were with me.  The person on the other end asked who is this? I say "Isn't this Pat? he said "No, but I wish I was" He was laughing and I was mortified.  I quickly said I'm sorry I dialed the wrong number and hung up. Oh the days before I had a cell phone  HAHAHAHAHAHA
     On a break right now, I've been watching training videos all morning and I'm fighting to stay interested in them. I needed this break, thought I'd come by and write a few lines. Hope all of you are good, and again I thank you all for coming back and reading what I pen.   I need to get back to the thrilling videos. LOL   Later taters
     I'm back LOL   So i just was told that I am going into a solid week of training starting every day at 8am but at least that going to be 8 hours of OT for tomorrow on and all of next week, I can use the cash. Not much today peeps, so I will say Ciao For Now

Happy Happy Monday

     I figure if I say happy enough it will rub off and we will be :-D   So hope the week is starting well for you all. At my home the rhythm of getting ready for work is settling in. Its been a long time since we both were getting ready at the same time so now I take my shower first and while hubs is showering, I'm blow drying my hair.  I know real exciting stuff LOl but its the daily grind folks.
     The weekend was better than expected, the hurricane veered off into the ocean and we got heavy rain but it did not last the full day on Sat and Sunday was nice. It was chilly but it IS October.  I can't believe my birthday is exactly a week away. The time is going so fast. Speaking of fast, I was in the drugstore yesterday and the halloween candy is all out along with the decorations and cards. I did not see this in the store I was in BUT a co worker just told me they were in the same store in a different area and they had started putting up Christmas decorations already!! Its ridiculous, Its over 2 months away and already they are going to start pushing the buy this or that commercials.  I am making gifts this year for the adults, I have managed to put aside some cash to get the kids a little something. I have not given any birthday gities and I know the kids all understand, the youngest is 12, but okay maybe birthdays can go with huge kisses and wishes but Chrimbo? That's prezzies.  I know Pat and I are not exchanging gifts.  Im hoping that with the new year it will get better, hoping his contract will extend or at least get on a new longer one
      So I am looking to get a few warmer blouses and a light jacket for now as the cooler weather has arrived sooner than expected IMO, but wow, the styles are just annoying me.  In so many of the stores I go to, I do not find them to be flattering at all. The ones I like are costly. I am waiting for the sales that will be starting soon and then i will get a few pieces I can match up with what I already have. Thanks heavens for black slacks, they go with many things and then I am getting back into a few other items I couldn't fit into last year so that's more in my closet.  Thing I need most is a few pair of jeans. I need at least 2 pair, those are not cheap. Torrid has a few cute styles that I will need to go in to try on. Wish me luck.
      I am a fat woman, a short woman and I accept this. I am not ugly, nor stupid. I know what to do to lose weight and I have no issues with people suggesting exercises to try or trying different foods to eat that may be good subs for other things. But I am on this site on facebook, its a community for larger folks and its a positive outlook group. I get that, kind of a fat birds of a feather flocking together type place, hehe, but here's the grip I have.  What is wrong with someone saying they need to lose weight because they are having issues using a bathroom on a plane, come on. This was an actual issue, she even showed a photo. I was thinking about this, as I flew last year. I had no issue with the bathroom on the plane, it was roomy in my opinion. I mean its not a spa. I think I can see even enough room to bump uglies should the mood overtake you  LMAO  (okay getting off topic) Well all the people were like yeah, they need to make those bigger, WHY? I am all about acceptance and I have been teased and been uncomfortable but I don't get that the airplanes have to make the bathrooms bigger. I also don't agree with charging extra for fat people. So I get both sides of the issue. I do. I'm fat and I fit fine in a coach seat, put the tray down with no issues even with MY tummy.  That was Virgin Atlantic, I can't speak for all airlines but I am assuming they are all about the same. I just don't get that this group will not allow anyone to even talk about weight loss. Okay maybe its me. :-D
There is room for everyone, a mate for everyone and a type for everyone. I guess I'm a dreamer, I just wish everyone could accept us for who we are and not what we look like.  Animals (or what we call animals as we ourselves are animals) are better at this than us, which is why I love them.
Ciao For Now peeps
 

Just A Quick Note On This Latest School Shooting

Reading about this shooting in Oregon. Words of sorrow seem so insignificant, yet they are the only ones that seem right. Already, I'm reading of banning guns, if he was black, if he was a redneck, all the if and what shouts. It's all bullshit at this moment. What matters is those poor families who lost people, mothers and fathers who will not speak to their children in the morning, friends who won't meet up for coffee before classes. I am so sad and so sick about this. Look I left the church years ago, but I am spiritual. I have faith in a higher power. To single people out due to who they believe in, just makes me wonder when did religion start to cause people to fear, to hate, to shun other human beings. It's supposed to comfort, guide, give a sense of community and teach respect for life. A friend's was telling me about a book he's reading, perhaps religion has run its course. So much turmoil attached to it. I can't imagine what it was like on that campus, hearing screams and gunshots. I just hope that the families and friends of these poor souls somehow find a way to get a handle on this, I'm not sure if it's possible.

It's Picture Day LOL

Bet you didn't know there was a castle in the middle of NYC? Belvedere Castle, this and the Alice In Wonderland statue are two of my fav places in central Park. Those and sheep meadow. :-D

It so seems like this sometimes LMAO  But all is well , eyes are almost 100% back to normal and weight is coming off slow and steady as sugar is basically gone from the diet right now, well maybe a little in NYC when I visit ;-D

This one just amuses me , especially as this is how I met my hubby. I worked at an envelope manufacturing plant and he worked for a stationers who bought our envelopes  LOL 

Love this one!  

So that's it peeps, just a few pics, not in the mood to write, I will probably be writing some poignant pros this weekend as we are expecting some very heavy rainstorms and this round chick is staying inside. I will be making a big slow cooker filled with chili, some sugar free pumpkin pie mousse , and working on the homemade christmas gifties I'm planning.  So if I don't come back until Saturday or Sunday, you all be good or careful, your choice  HAHAHAHAHAHA   Ciao For Now

Afternoon Shortie

    Just came out of the longest meeting I think I was ever in. It lasted from 9am until 2pm with half hour lunch break.  LOL We are getting a new time keeping system and this was the training for it.  So what does one do during the boring stretch that doesn't apply to you?  We doodle that's what!!!

LMAO   yes yes we draw arrows with the feathers going in the wrong direction. At least its not flippers on an owl. ;-D
     Today I drove to work myself, and I can say that the vision is getting better. Its not 100% yet but i felt secure driving and its a short distance to my work. I work 5 miles away.  I wouldn't do a long drive to my dad's just yet but I'm thinking in a few more weeks it should be fine.   Speaking of Dad he was so cute, I phoned him yesterday to thank him for the anniversary card he sent us and I told him I called my Uncle. He asked why and I said it's his birthday dad.  He had totally forgotten. Its his youngest brother, youngest being a relative statement as he was turning 76.  My dad was the oldest boy. The other two siblings have passed on. So I said let me hang up so you can ring Uncle Pat.  My dad will be 88 as I've said and yes he is getting a little forgetful, but I'm lucky he's here. may he be here a long time
     Not much going on, hubs and i are going out to the mountain areas for a drive this weekend and probably will go looking at all the farm stands and things the "county folk" put out for sale.  Window shopping and getting out for a nice walk mainly but I would like to get some nice apples and make a low fat cobbler. Most pies from the store have way to much sugar in them, you lose the taste of the apples. We shall see.
     I'm going to say adieu. Take it easy and Ciao For Now Peeps

Not Much

.    I sit at night and things go through my head, I have every intention of writing them here. Then I get caught up in things and it gets late. So of ourse after a day at work, I'm tired. I did go over my 1150 calories for today, but with steak and not cookies and cake. So I'm pleased, I even had a couple of pumpkin cookies that hubs brought home to end our anniversary date on a sweet note.  Just a simple cookie and cup of tea while snuggled watching Castle. As I get upset at the show, and hubs laughs. He went and got a haircut today, hehe, I really want to pierce his ear, but never will happen.
     It was a very nice dinner. We went to Outback Steakhouse, so you know your getting tasty food. It was, my only complaint, is minor, in that the baked sweet potato was a big over cooked. I like mushy though , so no real issue. Tried a flatiron steak. Was really nice, had some spice to it. It was really enjoyable getting away to a restaurant together. As we've been so frugal. My feet were hanging off the seat though, lol.  Spoke to my dad, uncle, friends, so it was a lovely anniversary. So as I said before, all the thoughts in my head and I don't feel like gathering them up and putting them here. So I will tomorrow or next day, but soon. So until then, Ciao For Now

19 Years Ago

.    Tomorrow (Monday) will be my 19th wedding anniversary. Years back I know I couldn't have imagined anything lasting 19 years. Even good stuff. :-D.  But here I am, it's been good, bad and everything in between. We are not exchanging gifts but we are going out to a modest but tasty dinner at Outback Steakhouse to celebrate. I'm not going to say it's been perfect, far from it, there was a point in time where I would not have thought this would not be occurring, but it is and we are all the stronger for it. It has a lot to do how wonderful I am of course. Hahaha     So I will probably not be writing tomorrow night :-) But will be back Tuesday.  So I'm going to wash my hair lol. Ciao For Now

Do We Finally Find Our Peace? Sad Post

     Just was speaking to a dear friend. Hadn't really spoken to her in a few months. We've both had some health issues. We got pleasantries done and then she explained that her grandma is in a hospice. They took her off life support, she's holding on, but she's dying. My heart instantly broke. I could feel the pain even through her words. I wanted to hold her, tell her I'm here. So I did just that. I told her call me anytime. I understand it, even my hubs understands it. Anyone who has seen the life leave a loved one  knows the pain, yet not one of us can explain it. We all feel it differently.  Words can't explain it properly.   I know my friend, a strong woman, but I know she's hurting, and her mother is freaking out a bit. She said she feels lost that she can't help her mother, I said just be there. That's what matters. If you've lost someone like this, and I know some of you have, you know what I mean. I watched my mother leave, then my mother in law. I watched my father and his denial, I watched my husband's shoulders slump when we got the call, not an hour after his mother came off the life support. Death doesn't care if your rich or poor, black or white , religious or not. It comes. I know I hope mine comes quickly and painlessly while I'm comfortable in my bed and lies down with me and takes me to my next adventure.   We stand with those we love to support them, as we go through this final stage of life.
      I know, such a morbid blog, but I was taken aback, and the floodgates opened. My mind immediately filled with thoughts of lost family and friends.  Thoughts of family and friends still here came to mind as well. I have said , ( ad nauseum), how much I care for all of theses people. They know all too well, so I'll skip it. Next month my mom will be gone 18 years. A co worker just lost his mother.  Another one just had a baby. Circle of life people. Ain't no joke.  So eat good food, drink that good wine or fizz. Travel, meet and love people. Try every fucking thing you want to and if you look like a fool, well then, you gave people some laughs. ( Remind me to tell you of how I got out of the boat when I went punting in Cambridge.) be like Scrooge after the 3 ghosts visit him, giddy with life.  You read the paper, turn on the TV, this earth is dying, no it's not, religion is totally fucking us up with one group trying to destroy everyone else. Then the leader of another group travels and brings a new faith to people. Mother Nature is getting weird, no it's natural cycles.  No one knows anything and we all try yo be so fucking important. To have the top office, be better than anyone else.  Just be better than your own self  was yesterday, and for the sake of sanity, be happy in your life.
     Yes I rambled, it's half one in the morning here. Lol.  I may have had a little wine, but I'm happy! Hahaha. I will now end here, so until next we meet, a Ciao For Now

First Day Back To Work

     Not too bad, started the day with a BP of 120/69 and at lunch it was 140/80  Still good but I told you the employee that call in are huge pains.  LOL  They took pity on me and i am doing emails, love it, put in the earbuds and turn on the music and drown everyone out.  People have been coming up to me and welcoming me back and several folks have said that they can see my right eye is open wider than my left. I'm hoping that levels out but truthfully the ability to see straight takes precedence over my eye being slightly uneven.  :-D    Good to be back on track though. 
     I took this this morning when I started the day. I can see what they are referring to but meh! 

So there is my silly face and I will be back later with more stuff......maybe! lol  Ciao For Now
Okay I'm back. Lmao nothing new to really add, just that I am tired. I mean truly tired. After 2 weeks and many of those days being poked and prodded I feel  more than a little fatigued. But it's a good tired. I mean, the routine felt good. The getting up and out early. It will get better. So keep an eye out for more interesting posts and more like these too. ;-D  

Just Wondering

.    If someone helps you, is it there right to call and check on you to make sure you are doing what you need to? If you're an adult? I don't mean the hey how's it going phone call. I mean calling with practically a check list of things to do, even though you know what to do? We hit very rough times this past year, my hubs had to go to a lawyer ( house stuff) plus medical and house bills. I'm the only working still, hubs hits the papers, goes on interviews but to no avail. He's frustrated, I'm stressed, and I know his pain, and it hurts I can't take it away. With help we have gotten over the hump, but interestingly enough, family has helped, but it came with a leash. Hubs is breaking his back, cleaning and bagging, making the house look like someone would want to buy it. But he gets calls every few days to see how it's going? Has he filed paperwork, did he do this, did he do that. Don't get me wrong. I am indebted to them for helping us. ( Also to my own angel but that's a very different situation ). But today was my nephews 16th birthday. We called to wish him a happy day, and my BIL, just passed the phone over. No talking after the fact. It just seemed cold.  In my family, you helped whomever needed it. If you didn't have it, you didn't have it. If you did, you gave it and never asked about it because you knew that when it was able it would be paid back. That's how I am, I never had a lot to give but I would give what I could. I don't know, maybe it's my own guilt of needing help that's making me read into it. But I know what hubs is going through. We've had some very deep conversations and he even told me he knows I want to rip him a new arsehole, but we are trying to go forward. I wish I could fast forward to next year, this will all be over, I'm sure of it.
     As you can see I can't sleep. It's now half one in the morning, this is what runs through my mind.  We couldn't even buy him a birthday gift. :-(    Stress, yeah I need to get a grip and try my best to aleiviate it.  Not easy!!!!     I can say with a smile that my latest BP reading this evening was 149/76.  Yay!!  That's a huge step in the right direction, hoping the nerve palsy in the right eye will right itself soon. It seems like it's starting to.
      How boring am I? I've figured out what I'm doing for Christmas gifts. Homemade us where it's at this year. Bits and bobbles and homemade goodies to eat/ drink. I wish it was more but I can't really afford too much this year. I told hubs no birthday gift next month for me and no Christmas gifts for us this year. Ringing in the new year will be present enough. I hope everyone understands. Hell I still have to mail a prezzie from May. Lol Note to self, get that done at least!!
      I am going to attempt making a pork pie this weekend. Ground pork was on sale at the grocery store, I already have the spices and makings for a pie crust. I had a little when I was in England and it was really tasty. I'll let ya know what happens. Haha. We had pulled chicken tonight. Hubs made it in the slowcooker with some BBQ sauce then he shred it. Had it on the sandwich thins with coleslaw on top. Some veg to go with it. Made a very lovely dinner. Had tea and a biscuit while we watched the new season of the TV  shows we enjoy.  Then we went to bed, cuddled and talked. Cat joined us for a bit, but we weren't worshiping her enough, so she left the room. He's sleeping steady, I'm about to try that myself in a few moments. What happened to me, I used to be so much fun? I'm still cool as fuck though ( wink wink)  so I will say night night, good morning, and Ciao a For Now

Mabon Is Coming

.    Mabon is the Pagan/Wiccan way of saying the Autumn equinox. It's on Wednesday for us here in the eastern USA. This of course means days will be getting shorter, chillier. It's started already, kind of hard to explain, but you can feel it. Early morning chills give way to sunny warmer days. This will stablize and soon, boots and sweaters will come out of the wardrobes. Without really knowing why, people will start to gather more "things". Batteries, socks, food. We start craving, stews and soups. It's hard wired into us from those that came before. There weren't refrigerators to hold food. People forged for what they needed. They would salt fish, put summer harvests in root cellars. So that has become us modern folks. We keep supplies on hand should weather not permit us from going to the shops to get what we need. Still there are some that still  put up veg and fruits for later use. I want to, but need more counter space. BUT I've noticed my friends making mention of preparing soups and making bread. Things we do in the autumn. We can't help it. Lol  I'm planning some stews and chills myself.  I actually am planning on making a pumpkin chili tomorrow for dinner. I'm using turkey instead of beef to make it a little leaner. Would love to use buffalo but can't afford it right now.  And yes I said pumpkin chili. I make no apologies, I like pumpkin and it thickens the chili nicely, mixing with the tomatoes and other ingredients. Some light cheese and more diced onions as add ins, along with a salad will make a great dinner. I'm being a good girl, taking the BP meds they gave me. Keeping myself to about 1100 calories a day. No sugar. It's been fine. I'm in no way starving myself. I still get dizzy, do I'm not running around like I want to. But things are looking up. Oh eyesight still blurry but not as bad.  Yay :-D

     Also today was what would have been my Mothers 90th birthday. I miss her so. She passed away just over a year after I was married. She said all the time I was growing up that all she ever wanted was for me to be settled and happy. I guess she figured I saw a year married so I was settled. I suppose I was, I go back & forth on that. I wish I had more time with her as one married woman to another. I still draw strength from her words. I still can feel how warm her hugs were. Ah well. 

     So I will be going back to work this Wednesday, I'm looking forward to it. Getting bored I tell ya. Lol  I'm heading up to take a bath, then tea and a sugar free almond biscuit. These are really good, sugar free, gluten free. They are made from spelt. Called Aunt Gussie's, check it out people, they're good. Hahaha.  So okay, I'm out of here. Ciao For Now.  

You Can't Handle The Truth

     To start this off I want to say thanks to my friend overseas, your tag today made me laugh, I've been needing those laughs lately. I think I'm getting a pumpkin lover rep, another person I used to work with sent me the same picture this evening. LOL I do love pumpkin, and things with actual pumpkin in them. Not all the pumpkin spice, as those are what folks call the fall / winter spices. I like them in scent also. They are cozy, warm and yes, sexy.  So thank you my overseas dear friend for the giggle.
     Sis, I can't say enough, you know how I feel. It's so cool when you find someone as crazy as you. Someone who can tell you like it is. I appreciate you more than words. Muah!!!
     Okay so the title of this blog, the truth. We all say we want it, but do we really? At this point in time I can truthfully say yes. I'm tired of jumping, worrying, wondering. I'm tired of not having money, I'm tired of getting ill. I'm tired of not feeling pretty anymore. I'm just fuckin tired of feeling like the poor relative that people shut their lights when they see them coming up the walk to their homes. There - that's the truth.
     Truth - I'm tired of crying more than laughing
     Truth - I'm tired of having to put on a happy face all the time
     Truth - I feel if I don't do that, some people will not bother to speak to me, people have their own shit ya know?
     Truth - I hate that I fucked up in the past, with people, with situations.
     Truth - I hate that I have a hard time not being like that little yippy dog that means well but ends up annoying
     Truth - I love my husband
     Truth - I love my family
     Truth - I love my true friends
     Truth - I'd love to give my friends everything they've dreamed of, oh me too of course. Lol  Those Astins, Jaguars, musical instruments (hehe), vacations would be scratched out of many bucket lists.
     Truth - I know this seems like a phishing ploy for compliments, but it's not. It's the TRUTH!
     I can also say:
     Truth - I have more than many, a roof over my head, love , food, warmth
     Truth - I am pretty, I'm just feeling a bit depressed and that's okay
     Truth - I'm strong, I will get through this
     Truth - in a year ( or less hopefully) finances will get better and I can get the wolves off my doorstep
      Truth - I will then be able to pay back all the help I was given
So there you have it, the truth. We all have our truths, I want my friends to know they can trust me with their truths.  So this soppy sausage is going to say good night. Sweet dreams, good morning. :-D
Ciao For Now

Seeing Is Believing

.    Well right now I don't believe anything. I can't bloody see correctly!! I am wearing my glasses and up close I can see. My left eye hurts, waa waa. I don't like being nervous. I don't care about wearing glasses. I'm more concerned about the fact of if the eye doctor can't help I have to go to a neurologist. I'm not even sure what they do. Ugh.  Just dealing as it comes.  Otherwise it's nice not to have to go to work but I kind of miss it.  I can't drive and that's what drags me way down. To me driving is freedom. It's therapy. Soon I will be driving again, I hope.  Hubs may have to drive me to work. Lol. He is being so good & I'm rambling, hell I am bored!!!! Plus side is I've lost 3 pounds this week already.  Back on my fitness pal.  I recently put a pic on Facebook that showed as a memory from 2 years ago.  It was a great weekend. I was in NYC and ate the most fabulous meal of my life at an amazing Michelin rated restaurant. Amazing chef, his award is very warranted. I'm going to tell you, I looked pretty damn good in that pic. Lol. I still wear the same jeans so I can't be too far off. But I need to get myself better. Have a lot of living yet to do.  So I'm thinking positive. Well, trying to. Hehe I had someone at the hospital do a head turn when they asked me to verify my age. They thought I was 16 years younger.  I will take that!! Yeah baby.  I say maybe 10 at most not 16. I look tired lately and the eyes are looking a bit baggy. :-D. Stress will do that, but this too shall pass.  So here's to good things. For all of us.  Ciao For Now.

So There May Be An MRI

I am home after a night in the hospital. I've had a cat scan, and a radioactive dye pumped through me and there may be a MRI in the future. Good news, there is no blood in my brain, or my neck. My cholesterol is perfect. My sugar will always be on watch, but it's not diabetes. I do try to cut down on sugar. I do indulge but that has gone way down. Blood Pressure was a bit high. So I have meds now for it. They are saying this may be the reason for the double vision, but as the night went on, and there were other lesser tests, this is thought less and less. The doctor says it may be a torn retina, I still say I have a really bad infection in my right eye. They say no, I do hope it is something the eye doctor can help with , otherwise I must go to a neurologist. Ugh. I'm home now for another week. I mean I can't see right. It makes me nauseated actually, not a great feeling.  I'm already bored so feel free to question me, add comments or call if you know my number. Lol.
I'll be back so ciao for now.

The First Pumpkin Coffee

.    So it's 11pm and I'm in my room having a pumpkin flavored coffee. I say coffee not PSL as this is not Starbucks, and I say my room as I am in observation room 109 at Loudoun Hospital. What?? Yep seems yesterday as I was driving I had double vision. Not optimum on the road. Closing one eye I was able to get home.  Took some meds and laid down. Thinking okay the head cold has turned into a sinus infection. Woke up and showered. Not great but okay. As soon as I step into sunlight, I get the double vision again.  Ask hubs to take me to the urgent care.  They are concerned about the high blood pressure as that could of course cause this problem.  As it is I take xarelto and this could be causing the high BP? At this point I am a dog chasing its tail.  So she wants me to have a cat scan.  Okay we get here and I get the cat scan. Nothing is wrong, all looks good.  So then they are telling me they want to do a MRI. Oh god no!! Poor hubs he only left about 40 minutes ago. He's so good. But I have a problem. I have to take out my nose stud.  NO NO NO.  Well yes as I don't need it ripped out of my face so I finally get it out. About half hour later they say oh no MRI you get a laser scan using radioactive dye instead. Oh fuck me!!! Now I am waiting for the asst nurse to come help me get it back in.  It's not supposed to come out so this should be interesting.  So as I said I'm here drinking coffee and laughing. I had that dye put in with my blood clots. It gets warm all over.  When I  get this done I find my mind wanders and I imagine getting my veins pumped with andimantium  (is that how it's spelled? Lmao. Me and Wolverine- we are close.  So my eye is still blurry and I got Tylenol for the pain.  Hope tomorrow's better.  So I am an unhappy bunny.  Haven't said a word on Facebook as this hospital thing is getting old. I look like a pin cushion. My arms could be used as a prop for a drug advert. Ugh.  I want out.  I want to sleep with my hubby in my bed. Crossing fingers its tomorrow
 Other than that, it's been good. ;-).  Ciao For Now