Primal Indeed!

     Hello Ladies & Gents today for your reading pleasure we take you to a restaurant in Fairfax, VA.  It's called Joe's Crabshack...they were great then they got sloppy and now they are better again. We went here last night for a casual laid back anniversary dinner as the hubs had a really busy day and didn't feel like going to where we originally were going to. This was fine as I like Joes, and it was very good. Of course the drinks at Joe's are huge, those big round 20 oz. goblets and well I had 3 in 2 hours. It was great! hahahaha    Then came the crab.....oh friends there is something so primal, so basic about ripping into those crabs with your hands and eating with your hands, that I so so SO love!!! You get messy and you just rip out the meat and eat it with your fingers, let me tell you it was a little excting...hehehe  yes I'm an odd duck but I think you know what I mean.  We got home and I was very fluid from the alcohol and I basically collapsed, and Pat was tired from work so the anniversary is to be continued this coming Saturday. We got a room at a local hotel called Hotel Sierra. Nice place, and nearby so a mini get a way plus nice dinner will make for a lovely weekend jaunt.  

     If you read my facebook you know that the hubs remembered the exact number of bobby pins he took out of my hair on our wedding night. That was such a surprise to me and yesterday he sent me roses to work. THAT is not his thing and it meant so much to me. He said last night I'm sorry they weren't white roses which are my favorite, but people it didn't matter, see thing is it was again a surprise, and like I mentioned on the book of face...after almost 18 years together it's something that he can still surprise me. Didn't have to be roses and he chose pink because he knew it was my favorite color.  It was a really good day :-D I was quite touched by all of it.

     So as for weight I finally hit 30 pounds gone, but after last night I wouldn't be surprised to find I gained a pound or two back. It's cool as this is my life not a quick loss and gain it all back. Nope I said from the start I will be diligent but like I told JoAnn life has special times and if I have a slice of cake or pudding, or a drink once in a while I am not going to feel guilty because my general eating habits have changed. In the long run that is what will get me fit, and I plan on going back to the gym next week as my knee , knock wood, seems ot be better. Still limping when I first get up from sitting but mobility is better. There is a trainer at the gym who works with you if you have had injuries so I will speak with her about strenth training. Will let you know how that goes. 

     Well I need to get ready for work so have a great day peeps and here is a pic the hubs took of me last night when we got home (I collapsed on the bed LOL)  and until next time...Ciao 

New finds are fun!

     Did a bit of fall cleaning this past weekend and I found a brand new blouse I bought, that by the time I was going to wear it, it was too small.  Well I tried it on and it fits perfectly now. BooYah!! This blouse is very much like the ones I wear now as I bought them all together but it was a smaller size than the rest.  The blouses tend to let people know I am there as they have these sparkles on them that after a few washes tend to fall off.   I stayed at a girlfriends home and she said the next day she found them all over. LOL   Even my car has them on the seat. In the summer it gets hot so they came off my blouse and get seared on the seat.   hehehe
     Work has been a bear today and I'm not talking Winnie The Pooh, I mean a big mean grizzley!! Just so many things, new employees arguing facts..eesh!! All is good though, I'm on break and as the evening starts in winds down.  Lots of flurry as we are coming into annual enrollment season ... fasten your seat belts it's going to be a bumpy ride! ;-)   I just had 4 employees coming up to me and I answered each one and you stop and think wow, when did THAT become second nature to know this. Somtimes I get boggled at things I actually know. Not that I am brilliant by any stretch, math for one just makes me look like a deer in the headlights, but I know what I know.  Well wasn't that profound? hahahaha
     Spoke to Joann last night peeps. She is doing much better as she is getting the grasp on herself. I swear we are so eager to give those we love hugs but we fail to give them to ourselves. I don't mean actually hug your own body , I mean more in a mental way buit if you want to give yourself a quick feel by all means...have at it! I can't wait to meet her in a few months, looking forward to it. 
        Okay peeps that's it for now I may be back later but more than likely will be back tomorrow. It's actually my wedding anniversary so it may not be until LATE tomorrow ;-)    Ciao for now.

Hello Monday

     Yesterday the sky had that odd blue gray color all day, like it couldn't decide if it wanted to rain or not. It matched my mood though. I was also in that blue gray state where I didn't know if I wanted to cry or not. Ever have those times? Maybe it's just a female thing, I'm not sure. Hormones and all I mean, and mine lately seem to have developed a taste for tap dancing around. I swear my emotions are as erratic as Mr. Magoo's driving!! One day I'm happy as a lark then all of a sudden I get moody. I have noticed though it is usually in direct relation to the people around me. If they are moody I tend to reflect that as well. Maybe I'm some kind of cool empath although sometimes it's not cool! Ah well I don't dwell on it for too long, but that's just me. I like to be happy and to smile. Speaking of smiling, one of the ladies I went to school with told me yesterday on facebook I was one of the nicest girls in school. She said I always had a smile and was nice to everyone.  I told this to my husband and he said, and I quote "oh a doormat"!  THAT pissed me off! I am quite easy going, always have been. I think again it had something to do with being fat.  You see growing up, you make your way through school however you can. There are jocks, stoners, elitists, nerds, and the list goes on & on. I really never fit into any of the "normal" tags in school. I liked what I liked, and I liked lots of different things. To this day, I can't really ever pinpoint the type of music or movies I like as I tend to like most of them. The song Muskrat Love & movie "American Gigolo" being the rare exceptions as both of those make me become like Linda Blair in "The Exorcist" (which is a movie I LOVE!!..scares the pants off me) 

     Easy going does NOT equal doormat, not to me anyway. Now I am the first to say I was a dork. LOL See but a dork is lovable, Karl Pilkington is a dork but he's lovable. I don't mind that word, doormat I do! I have my breaking point, it just takes a lot to get to it. I like to think I am accepting, therefore I fit into lots of different groups, which is ironic since I have a hard time fitting into most jeans I try on.  Meh, who knows. I am me, that's all I know, like it or not, love me or hate me, choice is yours.
     I mentioned music, and I just last night made 5 copies of the CD Mirrorwriting by Jamie Woon for some friends. He is fabulous and I thank my friend for posting his songs on facebook. I was hooked first time I listened. So as we start our week off I will leave you with a video of his.  It's one of my faves from the CD. Enjoy and until next time ...Ciao 

Happy Birthday Mr. Henson

     It's been 21 years since Jim Henson died. That is SO hard to imagine, the time flies by. He always seemed a gentle soul to me. Oh I am sure he had anger and tears like any human does but he came across so kindly, how could you not have a childlike innocence in you to come up with the Muppets!!?  He was a huge part of my life as a young child and he was part of our culture. Everyone knows the Muppets. I often think he was probably amazed at how they grew in popularity. They had their own show, had the coolest guests too. They even made movies.  One of my favorite lines is from The Muppet Christmas Carol "Light the lamp not the rat!!"  HEHE

He was also a huge part of Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock and I loved not only the Muppet movies but ones like "Labyrinth" and "The Dark Crystal"

     It was so sad how he died. He wasn't well I read and went to a doctor who didn't find anything. Told him to take aspirin then it turned out he had bacterial pneumonia and because of it he had organ failure. Sad chain of events that was but he leaves a legacy that will not soon ever be forgotten.

     I just wanted to say I thank this man for always making me smile. I hope you found your "Rainbow Connection" 

     I leave this blog with a song that the people he worked with sang at his memorial in NYC, there was another in London I believe.  Peace out my peeps 

Week is Over!!!

     TGIF for sure.  What a different week thsi was for me. Between the training and then doing all the things I do in a week in one day made the time fly by. I really have nothing major to post tonight but wanted to come on becasue I made a promise I would when I started this.  I did realize this today and I posted it somewhere else but I truly love when I'm hanging with my friends and we are close enough to have gotten to the point where we are both quiet and its fine. It's comfortable and we are cool with it.  Thing is I was on the phone with such a friend today and that silence occurred and it really doesn't translate well. It's just when you are in the same room you are enjoying the company. Ah well its all good because you laugh and say ciao for now and talk another time.   it was just something I noticed today.  Like I said day was slow and this crossed my mind and i wanted to share. So enjoy your weekend peeps, see ya Sunday I'm headed out to breakers for a drinkette with some work peeps.  Until next time ...ciao

Tech Challenged

     Well yours truly here has been playing teacher LOL  That sounds kind of naughty  but trust me when I say it's all business, well mostly since of course we joke around a little, I mean this IS me!  The trainees are the new hires we brought in for annual enrollment. This starts in November but we need some good training so they will be ready and there really is a lot of different systems to learn. After the first day they all had a bit of deer in the headlights looks on their faces hahaha. It has been interesting and I was going great at this UNTIL.............it came tine to use the overhead projector that is set up so that I can go on the computer and they will see what I am doing and how to get into different areas. So here I am Miss Uber Cool grabs the remote to turn everything on. NOTHING HAPPENS!!  I keep hitting different buttons and I can't get the damn thing to work. Now I am still using the cane so off I hobble to find Mike. He comes back in and gets it all started. I am dumbfounded, how did he do that?! Well he leaves and we continue the day, break for lunch. Fast forward to time to watch training videos. I get the tape going and I hear music, good sign, I'm making small talk and the people are giggling at me and damn if I can't get the video to go with my audio. I'm switching screens, pushing buttons and finally I look up and everyone is looking out the door. Mike opens it and asks if I need help. He's laughing so hard because he saw the screen changing and 5 pairs of eyes starring at him for help! Okay we got it going. Now mind you shutting this all down I'm fab at. So today it comes time to do this again and I'm quite confident I can handle it - yea well that ended soon enough. Seriously I can set up my computer at home and know how to work the remotes, well okay I have no idea how to use the Tivo correctly but that not withstanding I watched Mike do this so I knew I could.  NOPE!! My knee really hurt today so I txted Mike ...one word...Help!! No reply but a few seconds later Mike walks in and tells me to get away from the electronics. He gets it working AGAIN!!  Tomorrow is my last day to train and we have videos to watch...anyone want to place a bet on if i can get the damn machine to work!!!? ARRGH!!! LOL

     On a higher note the hubs and I went out to dinner with my in-laws as it was my nephew Christopher's 12th birthday. It was a lovely evening and he is growing up so fast. He's almost as tall as me!! My niece was excited to tell me she is trying out for drama class and performed a piece called "Candyland" for us all and she was damn good!! Her inflections were spot on and she was quite animated. She will be 10 in 2 months, all I kept wondering was where did the time go? They grow up so fast. They are developing into interesting young people. They love their Uncle too I tell ya and he loves to tease and play with them. I love watching that more than would make sense to anyone.Was a really nice night after a tech challenged day. LMAO

     I am still at 29 lbs and holding and I am being good and watching what I eat. I have not been to the gym because of my knee but I'll get there in a week or so. Like I have said, I like being a saucy BBW I just want to get fit and YES I can and will be both! :-D    Well pumpkins time to sleep as 5Am comes early. Until next time ...ciao.

She Gave Me Life and Gin & Tonics

     Today is my mother's birthday. Happy Birthday Mom.  I miss you so much and it's coming on 14 years you will be gone but I will always love you.  Okay for those of you who did not know my mom she was one hell of a woman.  A bit shy (just like me  HAHA) but she was very independant and had no trouble telling you how she felt.  When I was young she was always there for me and that did not change right up until her last days. She taught me how to clean and cook and iron and sew a mean hem!! :-) I can remember when I was a young teen abut 14 or 15, in the summer a few people would come over and we would sit in our lawn chairs and talk into the wee hours of the morning. No one wanted to go to sleep and mom made pitchers of gin & tonics which she allowed me to have since she was with me but never more than 2! So of course i alwasy used a really large glass ;-)  I loved hearing her tell me stories of how she and my dad met.  She didn't like him at first - thought he was pushy but then she agreed to roller skate with him and they went in circles the rest of their time together. LOL I remember at 20 she had her first major heart attack and need triple bypass surgery. Now Mom wasn't terribly overweight but bad hearts ran in her family plus she loved salt!! Something I have learned to cook with out or very little! I remember her looking so small in the hospital bed. (She was about the same height as I am now) She recovered but as the years went on she had another heart attack and then breast cancer then lung cancer and finally it got into her bones and she just couldn't fight it anymore. Through all of this and I'm talking 18 years or so time frame she never once stopped fighting, being strong and I marveled at her resolve. After her chemo for the breast cancer was done I took her to Massachusetts for a mom/daughter weekend. We had a blast and she introduced me to ameretto sours. We sat in the hotel bar and got drunk, it was fab!! She asked me if I was having sex, I looked at her and said yes. I mean I was 26 at the time. I told her I was 17 the first time and she was like who??! I told her Chris, the boy I dated my last 2 years of high school, then she smiled and asked if i liked it.  EWWWW....wasn't sure if I wanted to go into this with mom but I figured in for a penny in for a pound and I said yup I did. She smiled and said good for me, that she was alwasy so timid and in her day you didnt have sex until after you got married.  I told her I was not a sleep around and was picky and she smiled again. We had some more drinks and talked about life in general and it dawned on me, here is a woman whom I actually really liked. I mean I loved her very much, she was my mother, but sitting here just sharing thoughts as two adults brought it home that she was a real person not just a mom. I was very lucky to meet her.  When she died there became a hole in my heart that will always be there.  I miss her everyday. 
     That's it for today on here peeps. I have to get ready to train some new hires, yes I am teacher this week. Who would have ever thought it!! :-)  Ciao

It's Sunday part deux...

     Well as this day comes to an end I will say cautiously (as not to tempt fate) that my knee is getting better. This is a good thing since my co-worker is out this week and I am working early shift training the 5 people we hired as annual enrollment temps. Week always flies by when training :-D   I had the pleasure of watching a live matinee broadcast of my friends Debbie & John in their performance of  Moon Over Buffalo  which was quite good except that the video froze in several spots but the audio kept going. I actually met Carol Burnett who did the play on Broadway, she was having a poster of it framed at the shop I worked at. What a thrill that was!! I really miss doing theater, many friends of mine are involved in some form or another and I found a group near here that I may see what their winter schedule looks like. I would love a good musical since I love to sing. We shall see. 

     I even weighed in after being somewhat lax this week due to my knee and found that I did not lose anything this week but I also did not gain anything. There's that damn plateau again, no worries, this is my life and it will not happen overnight but will happen!! Plus like I said I was lax, not that I ate anything really bad for me but I didn't eat regular food. I ate a few frozen meals since I am on phase 2 of South Beach and it was easier for Pat. That was a concern for me as he was outside doing some home fix it's. We have a home owners association and they did a sweep of the area and we got a list of things to fix. Everyone got a list even my neighbor who just got new siding done!! One of those on our list was that the fence in the yard needed fixing. So today I heard the hubs outside hammering away. I also noticed that he painted the lamppost and got a new light for it as well. He even painted my welcome sign. Granted there is a little patch of black on the grass where the can sprayed but, meh, don't care!! :-D

     I just gave myself a facial. I said I feel better, more myself, and I love to pamper moi with home spa nights.  Normally I get my eyebrows waxed but I did a bit of plucking to give me a weeks reprieve since I was not really mobile to get to the salon. Right now my face is bright pink from the scrubbing, hehehe  I look like I got a sunburn. My hair is growing nicely, by that I mean when I got it cut last week it grows out so that I don't really need to do anything to it. My stylist is good and she gave me my lovely blonde with a darker honey blonde in the back. Nice contrast and something different, which is always good.  My next step is to buy some new clothes. That's next two paychecks.  

     I am forming my next blog as I type the end of this one. It will have a subject and my thoughts on it. I will ask your opinion as well. So get ready, I'm sure you are all on the edge of your seats right now! LOL 

Until next time dears....ciao 

It's Sunday and...

You know what? I’m fat! I have been fat a long time. It has taught me many things that I may have missed out on had I not been. It taught me to be myself, to learn that I am a unique person. It taught me that I don’t have to blend in with the crowd. Through the cruelty of others I learned kindness. From being teased and ostracized I learned acceptance. From being judged I learned not to judge. Being fat is also NOT all I am. I pity the people who just see what’s in front of them. There is so much more to a person than how they look.  I lost sight of this about a month ago. I for whatever reason I got needy and full of self pity and enough is enough. JoAnn heaven help her made me realize again that life is for living not wallowing in pity.  I spoke to her by the way and I made her laugh. It was music to my ears to hear that.  We are going to meet for the holidays and I am looking forward to it.

     It's confidence, that's the key and I finally feel it again. I don't know why I lost it, somewhere along the road I fell into a slump but the last month has been full of ups & downs and I am ready to start the new season back to my old self.  I'm a fucking hoot!!!  hahahaha  I think weird shit, example: Last night the hubs decides to take out the bottles for recycling. We keep them in a bin and then about once a month put them out to be picked up. Well looking at them I start laughing. Here was the count. 7 2 liter bottles of rum, 4 bottles of schnapps 3 bottles of vodka and a few diet coke cans.  I would love to see the face of the man picking this up, whoo hoo party house!!!!!   Actually its a nightly ritual for my hubby to have a few shots before bed as his back hurts him and it helps him sleep. But it amused me a lot to see it all bagged together :-) 

     Getting back to confidence......I bought a sexy red and black corset. (spoke about it in my last blog I think)  I love it!! I can't wait to truly fit into it. I also have thigh high stockings to go with it...I know....saucy!!! Yep and big gals want to feel sexy too and we are. Ever see a guy walking with a fat chick and think..why??? I'll tell you why. She makes him feel like a man, she is confident in her looks, knows she is worth being with. More importantly she IS worth it and has made herself that way. See by not being a barbie doll she actually developed a personality that attracts people and keeps them interested long after the initial look. Amazing isn't it.  People who know me, know I love to laugh and joke, humor is a great turn on, (as I have said before) and I love art, theater, beaches, muscle cars, tattoos, non PC anything, animals and rain. That's the tip of this iceberg. I run deep boys and girls...hahaha   Well more later as it promises to be a great day today!!

FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE:

     Here is a pic of the corset I bought. I am thinking I will be in it for New Year's if not right after. Yes men feel free to gawk at the sexy lady wearing it, she's beautiful!!    OOOOH I can't wait to take my own pic in this!! :-D xx

TGIF - let's look at happy pics

Just a few photos for a Friday afternoon. I love pictures as my friends know. These are just a few (very few) of some that make me smile and then there is one thrown in there of yours truly the high school years we will call it.  LOL Otherwise just random pics. have a great weekend peeps catch ya Sunday night!

  

Boy Oh Boy

     Well peeps I tell ya, we take a lot for granted. Walking is one of them. Okay I used to walk and even run years ago, but as time went on I drove more walked less. As I got heavier I walked even less and this was and is not a good thing. Plus sitting at a desk all day make my activity level pretty darn low.   So lets fast forward to now, this moment in time.  I am down almost 30 pounds and have been going to the gym using the treadmill and I am able to walk easier. Not running any marathons but in Mary world doing much better. Then BAM..last week I was brazen and gave my treadmill a slight incline. The next day my left knee hurt. I took Motrin and thought nothing of it. I had other things more important to think about. I was off that Friday and Sunday was the 9-11 anniversary. My knee bugged me but yesterday it felt a little better actually much better. So yesterday afternoon I walk and hear an audible "pop" and down I go.  I had to reach out and grab onto a trash can to stop myself from hitting thr ground. The pain was intense to say the least. People came out of cubicles all asking if I was okay. I was okay and now also embarrassed. So laughing it off I take a chair to use as a walker to go to my desk. Once there my co-worker looks at me and says go to the hospital. I say no but then say yes.  I had to wait there and was in tears by the time the nurse saw me. Seems that after taking about 8 x-rays they determined I sprained my knee. I now have a knee immobilizer which I hate and have more vicodin and motrin to take.  I m home from work today but will be in tomorrow. I just sit at work so it should be fine plus my hubby bought me a cool ladies cane. It is pink with roses on it, very pretty if a cane can be pretty? I can tell you this has me even more determined to lose weight. I swear the pressure on my arm to support myself takes some doing. Oh I can do it but how easier it would be if I weighed less.   Perspective once again gains clarity. 

     Okay I also have an update on JoAnn. I had an email from her. She is feeling better and seeing someone to talk with now. She will go 2x a week she said. She said she found it hard to believe that I would care about her. You know me my friends, of course I would!!  I am going to write her back and suggest my next trip up to NY I will come see her. I'll bring a veggie tray and we can chat. I would like to meet her and hope she agrees. 

     Like I mentioned on facebook the thing they gave me for my knee is like a leg corset.  I've always wanted a corset but not like this.  I actually have one now. lol I ordered it and it arrived and it's gorgeous. Black lace and red satin. It's still tight on me and I will have to lose some more weight before I can wear it but it's my "get into" piece.  Ladies I know you all know what that is. I plan on having some pics taken when I get into it as it will show off my back ink really well. I'm shooting for the new year, should fit fine by then (I hope hehe)  I love sexy clothes. I'm talking quality pieces, not Frederick's of Hollywood cheesy porn clothes. 

     Well boys and girls  nothing major this blog. I'll keep ya posted on JoAnn. Hope everyone is doing good! Until next time...ciao!

Sometimes It Just Hits You

     We all have our demons, for me it's weight and fitness, others drug, gambling, etc, The list goes on and on but today we talk fitness. As you know I have been emailing a lovely woman named JoAnn who has much weight to lose.  Well long story short my last few emails were unanswered and then today I got one from her. She was in the hospital not becasue she was ill but because she tried to off herself. She wrote me that it was so hard for her to not eat the "bad" stuff and that was the only thing that gave her any comfort. She was at the end of her rope she said. I cried when I read her email. She told me from the start she was going to kill herself as she didn't want to live like this, but was going to try this diet (South Beach) as her last effort. Seems that she couldn't keep on track , now I know she lost some weight and was so happy. I can only surmise she maybe didnt lose anything new or gained a few pounds back and just gave up. I was in agony reading this I wanted to get in my car and drive to NJ to hug her and let her know she is not alone and that she matters!!! I'm getting a little teary writing this blog now too.  I quickly wrote her a long email back giving her my phone number again and told her to call me please then I proceeded to tell her all my weight stories. Like waiting online only to be turned away at a roller coaster because the bar wouldn't go down right. Things like that and then I also told her about good things, my theater I did and that my friends accept me for me. I don't know what it is that makes people want to end their lives. I have felt so alone and depressed over the years but I didn't want to end my life. Oh I HATED it sometimes, I talked to counslers, read books but ultimately I like life and believe we make our lives by doing the best we can and trying the hardest we can. Also believing in what you are doing helps more than anything I find for myself. 
     I hope she reads the email and I hope she calls me. Those of you who know me well know that I hate anyone in pain, or having problems. I want to save the world. Right now I'm just working on saving me. LOL  JoAnn needs to find it in her heart to realize she is worth saving and I wrote her this. She may have lost 10, 15 or whatever pounds and it seems like so little I'm sure but I wrote that any weight she lost is that much less she has to lose. I was writing to her but I also know that part of me was re-affirming it to myself.  I will pray for her and if I don't get a reply I will email her again. I want her to know that just because we haven't met in person doesn't mean that I don't care. That I am there for her should she need someone to talk with. I understand being overweight, I understand limitations, I understand being made fun of and I HATE ALL OF IT BUT...it can be overcome, and she is able to do this.   I also let her know that for my hubby's birthday we had Cheescake Factory and I ate a half a cuban sandwich (SOOO GOOD LOL) and had a slice of pina colada cheesecake!  Now no where is that South Beach friendly but it was a special occasion so I allowed it and know what?  My body was like ...Um no  I don't think so!!  I got so sick. I had been sick all day Friday due to other reasons and I suppose it was a lot to eat Saturday but well, all I will say is I will never understand bulemia. Why would you want to get sick, I can't stand it!!
The one last thing I told her was that one day I had to go check on a friend of mine no one had heard from and sure enough when I got to the apartment I found him slumped on the bed blood all over. I called him then actually shook him and thank heavens he was alive. I got him cleaned up, made tea and we talked. I let her know that he also was at the "end of his rope' as she had said but he was grateful that his atempt failed. We cried together and he kept apologizing and I told him there is nothing to be sorry for.  I said in the email that I was sure she was glad she didn't succeed and that her friends, her real friends and family will be very glad. I don't know;  I guess sometimes we get so caught up in our troubles that we feel unloved or unwanted by those we care about and know, but we need to take a step back on occasion and look at things clearly (if that's possible) . Life is not always easy but it can be so much fun. Like I said I will keep at JoAnn and let her know this and pray that she gets in a better frame of mind. It is definately going to be hard, I am sure it will not always be perfect  but it's life. Carbs no carbs, sweets no sweets it is not looking at the wrongs but realizing the next day is a new start each time.  Yep very sobering email and blog too I guess.  Love you my friends , until next time..ciao!!

Yea It's Monday!

     Let me just say I woke up in a decent mood, weekend was what it was. Due to the bad weather and floods that followed we did not make it to PA but still has some nice time together which is what matters.  Like I said as the morning progressed my mood got worse. Right now I want to just hit something.  I just want this day over. It's going to happen some days I know but why does it always seem to be on Mondays?????  :-D
     On days like this I so love my friends, you don't know it but I look at you guys on facebook, I look at your pictures and they calm me. I remember the fun times and it always makes me feel better, so thank you.  I know I can drive a saint to drink , out pester any pest, throw a whirling derbish out of whirl...okay I'll stop LOL  It's just that I need the interaction and since I am far from most of you it's through emails and posts on facebook which is why I am on there so damn much.  If I overwhelm at times mea culpa ;-)   I will wind down with this , a poem I wrote for my friends: You all know who you are :-D    NOW one more thing, doesn't anyone want my naughty story?? LOL

FRIENDS:
- are in your thoughts most times but in your heart every day
- make you feel like you are someone worth knowing
- forgive your failures and love you enough not to notice them
- can make you feel confident when you doubt everything about yourself
- calm your soul by just being there
- laugh at the dumb things you don't even know you are saying without making you selfconsious for saying them
- give you a gentle push towards your goals then walks secretly behind you with arms out in case you falter
- share in your joys and are a comfort for your sorrows
- are those who you can ask "How do you know me so well, when I don't even know myself?"
If you can say you know one person who does this then you are indeed lucky,
If you know several then you have touched on the Divine

I have touched on the divine ;-)  xx

NEVER FORGET

     These words are all over pages today, be in newspapers, facebook, twitter, etc.  I have it on my own facebook page but really how can one forget. Those images are burned into my brain. I remember as a kid those buildings being built and watched the news when they opened up for the first time. I have photos taken on the upper deck before they closed it in. My mother worked on the 83rd floor in tower 2. I used to go have lunch with her often as a older teen as I worked over the summers for the same company in another downtown building. I am kind of glad she died before this happened, she loved those towers. This took place in New York but it really was a global attack, over 100 countries lost people that day. I know people who had friends who died there, may their souls rest in peace.  I also am proud to say that two of my friends were there representing NY's police and fire departments respectively. They still say they were just doing their job but I do my job and the only danger I have is getting a paper cut perhaps!! There is nothing you can say really that has not already been said. I felt that i needed to mark this day though. It's been a rough weekend, not what I was hoping for but today puts much into perspective.   I want to let those I love (you all know who you are) know that I do and I wish I could each if you a huge hug & kiss right now! 

     I'm not going to rant on this blog as I only wanted to check in and say I hope you all are having a wonderful weekend. I am plateauing again and damn if I can't get that 30 pound mark!! LOL Well until next time peeps....ciao

Rain Rain Go Away!!

     I swear it's been raining so much lately. I was speaking to a friend of mine in England who said a co-worker was playing golf. I said I thought he mentioned it was raining, to which he replied if we waited until it wasn't raining here we would never do anything! LMAO  I guess it's relative but I am not used to having it rain 5 days in a row. I actually had the heater in my car on as it was so chilly last night driving home, me the gal who loves cold weather!  Besides the rain we have had flash floods and even my area there were rescue squads out to get people stranded in their cars.  Earthquakes, hurricanes and floods.....I feel like the great spirit is up there going "and for my next trick.."   At least my hubby told me when he got home tonight we had a dry basement. I have enough on my brain right now, so one less thing is good.
     Now I know what we have is nothing compared to pics I saw last week of my friends in NY after the hurricane. Several basements totally flooded with over 6 feet of water in them, my friend in NJ had water up to her living room level! So I am very thankful for what has not befallen me here.  Of course I am always thankful for my family and friends. 
     Just wanted to say hello and also to say I may not be around for a few days but you may see a post from me come Sunday at some point. So my lovlies enjoy the weekend, have fun and if it's really fun I want pictures!! LOL ;-) 
Speaking of here are a few from my area today: 

AND THE BEST FOR LAST

 Peace out until next time ...Ciao

SEX!!!

     Now that I have your attention!  LMAO  hehehe Gets them everytime!  We had a lunch discussion at work today about sex and relationships so let's talk about it for a minute. What makes us appealing to another person. It's interesting growing up as a girl with extra padding. Many folks would think that I wouldn't have dated or think just the opposite that I would be easy.  Neither is true.  I always was select and never bed hopped. I mean I dated quite a few people but I was never really the one night stand kind of person. Now not to say that over the years there weren't a few of those as well but all in all I was friends with those I dated first and still am with all but one. He actually thinks I still want to do him bodily harm. I saw him about 15 years ago and he turned white as a ghost, I mean what?? Like I had a chainsaw in my purse?? Oh well good luck to him.  If one were to ask me what "Type" of guy I liked, looking back it would be darker hair, average height and not thin, I like some meat on the bone. You know I just realized something writing this that the one ex who I am not still friend with, was blonde and tall and thin!! So opposite my usual suspects. Even my hubby is average height (well high end of average), dark hair and larger bod type with a goatee. (He looks great in a full beard too!)  One main thing that is a major turn on to me more than looks ever would be is the ability to laugh, it is so important and very sexy.  A pretty face, nice mouth, nice butt (men & women), big boobs (women lol) are all attractive and nice to look at but when it gets more personal you can take the perfect looking person and if they are not nice inside they all of a sudden look ugly. The opposite is also true, it really is a stumper why we are attracted to some people and not others. Maybe we remind people of people in their lives or even past lives (yes I believe in that). I mean how do you explain instant attraction or instant friends, not easy is it?  Yet we go with it. There are those that say it has to do with pheremones (spelt wrong I know) I think why ask why?? See I love as a beautiful form of expression.  I have always tried to be honest with my partner, laugh with them, do for them and enjoy them for the person they are inside! Funny I feel the same for my friends too. So maybe love is just a more powerful friendship;  one that has no limits.
     Now sex on the other hand varies from person to person. Most folks say men can have sex and not be in love and women must be in love or at least care a lot about the person they have sex with.  Look let be honest here. Both men AND women get horny! I have had those few one nighters that was what it was! But the romantic in me prefered the more than one date kind of relationship. I am visual as well I enjoy watching movies and looking at pics where many women are not. I also know men who don't care for visuals so really, no rules, as it is an individual preference I believe. I never went out "on the prowl" like some of my friends, then they would get hurt and wonder why. Really?? I can tell you why!!  I can take care of myself, that's why there are toys. I want someone I can talk with and oh yes a mind, someone you can share ideas with and joke with and be yourself with, yes a working mind, now THAT is sexy!! 
     Well sexy friends this sexy chick is signing off. It's closing time and I'm off to get my sexy hubby some sexy salad. Until next time...sexy Ciao ;-)

Happy Monday Disguised As Tuesday

     Well howdy folks.  Fall is in swing or at least it feels like it. Kids are all headed back to school today and the weather is chilly and damp here in VA. I love this time of year and can't wait to go see the trees change their color.  Change is important although we fight so hard against it sometimes.  Nature changes constantly and it's something we need to embrace in ourselves.  I am changing, I can feel it a little more every day.  I see my relationships changing also and this is not bad it just happens as life itself changes around us. I am not always easy in accepting changes I will admit that but I think it has to do with being comfortable knowing something already. So when that something or even someone changes I tend to take it personally.  I know this is not the truth of the matter but I still am afraid that perhaps I am the reason for the change.  Now sometimes this is a good thing! if I can help someone change for the better, if i can help myslef change for the better this is good!! It's so hard to put into words sometimes which is not very helpfull when you are writing a blog LOL
     Some change is easy to see, as in my weight loss. Other things are not always noticed right away.  I would love to know how to balance my changes and not freak out or worry as much as I do on occasion. Any ideas are welcome people, just let me know your ideas.
     Today I will be short.....the day started odd enough as there was a skunk sitting on our garbage bin this morning and thankfully he was gone by the time I left to go to work and then when I giot here I found that my brand new package of turkey bacon and hard boiled eggs were thrown out on Friday from our fridge at work, NOT A HAPPY MARY!!!  Well I am signing off now but I wil be back later peeps, remember send those ideas, I'm waiting.  :-D

Labor Day So No Work Today

     It's now about 1:15AM Monday morning. Yesterday was an odd day. Saturday was glamor day, had my hair done and my nails done and Pat & I enjoyed the night. Don't get me wrong, yesterday was sweet in so many ways. Pat & I slept in and had brunch while we watched Young Frankenstein. A Mel Brooks classic for sure. Got some things done in the house and then I got very somber. Just have lots on my mind and I really missed my friends. I try never to call them on weekends because they have lives and they need to enjoy their free time but sometimes I wish one of them would call me just to shoot the shit as they say. Now they do call me, several of them call quite often, I can name 2 who I speak with almost everyday so I don't want what I said to sound needy or selfish. I put too much onto my dearest of friends and God love them they deal with me and know it's only because I love them and am just mental on occasion..hehehe. Not really , well a little I suppose but my friends are my world and when you are far from them the time you spend with them be it in person or over the phone or computer is worth more than any amount of money. It was just my mood today, so I did what I love to do and went for a drive. My hubs , bless him, knows that when I get this way I drive so he indulges me and said have fun. So off I went with fully charged IPod and went up to Purceville and past almost into Berryville. Real town names folks...LOL   I went to a lake near a farm stand off of route 7 and fed the ducks and just sorted my head out, and I looked up and there were 3 hawks riding a thermal and just gliding along. I was so breathtaking to watch. I felt so much better and then came home. A little ironic that to help ease the pangs of not having friends with me I go for a drive ALONE!  Well that's me a walking paradox ;-)  I fixed dinner for us and relaxed then we watched a bit of TV, True Blood to be exact and it was GOOD! lol. Then we just talked and here I am writing this blog. We plan on going up to Skyline Drive tomorrow if weather permits just to spend the day out. Since it's a holiday here in the US we aren't working. Going to be a busy week so it will be nice to head up that way.

     Still on track with my food but I did have a hand full of sweet potato chips, not terrible as I can have sweet potatoes but I do not want to get into the chip snack habit so it was a holiday weekend pleasure. End of story! If we don't get to Skyline because of rain tomorrow I think I will go to the gym. I am feeling much better and my infection is SO much better thank God!! 

     Well that's the early Labor Day report ladies and gentlemen, until either later or tomorrow , peace out!

Out Of The Mouth Of Babes - Sort Of!

     Well yesterday one of my co-workers brought his daughter in to visit. She is just over a year old and weighs 25.5 pounds, and just adorable I might add.  Well I have lost 29 pounds and when I held her, because I just had too, she felt so heavy in my arms. It struck me right there and then I was carrying this weight on me and it was a catharsis for me to see in living form the weight I lost!!  I walked with her and my steps were more metered than as of late too. Don't get me wrong, I would have held her all day. She just kept looking at me and laughing when I made silly faces at her and then we gave her a tiny goldfish cracker to eat and she pushed it into my mouth to feed me. HOW CUTE!!! That brought back the pangs of not having a baby but you already read that blog! Daddy said no no, Mary isn't doing carbs and we laughed and she laughed too!  This little beautiful person was just too cute to give back to Mom & Dad but alas I finally did and when I gave her back it was amazing how much lighter I felt. It was like a reminder of what I had accomplished and t felt good!! One person at work the other day said "Look at you flying around the office, all over the place"  LOL  It's true though, I do get up and walk around a lot more.I don't even mind having to park farther away from my building.  Well I just wanted to jot this down as it struck me.....this is a long weekend so there may or may not be another blog until Monday. Not much to report at the moment at 8AM on a Saturday but if all goes right I should have a few tales to tell.  Ciao my peeps until next time!

Scents & Sensibility

     Okay guys I started this blog to track my weight and just blurt out my mind. Occasionally this is interesting most times it is quite banal I know and I thank you all for reading the boring posts. :-D  So drumroll as we enter the month of September. Since July 5th I am one pound away from my 30 pound loss. I went to the doctor two weeks ago for the MRSA and yesterday when I weighed in I had lost 9.6 pounds (digital scale) so went home last night and I am down 29 pounds. I am going to take a pic of me in my blouse so you can see how loose it's gotten.
     Now lets get to the scent section of this blog.  I LOVE SCENT!!! I just went to Bath & Body Works and bought a few new sprays to put in the bathroom at work. They have the fall line out and of course it's spiced pumpkin and ciders and they smell yummy.  I love scent in bath products, personal items and of course cologne and perfumes. Now my love of scent goes back years since I used to bury my face in my Mom's sweater so I could smell her perfume. She wore My Sin which I think was Arpege.  I got my first bottle of Love's baby Soft at 7 and ooh I was a big girl since I now had perfume..LOL,  jump to age 16 and I had discovered the "fine fragrance counter" I was in love! I opted for Opium by Yves St. Laurent.  I did extra chores to earn the money to buy the treasured bottle that was costly.  I now have a laundry list of scent that I like.  I do enjoy the spicy, oriental scents.  Current list would include: Chanel -Coco Madamoiselle, Dior- Addict, Kenzo - Amour, Pucci - Vivara, Issey Miyake- floral, Balanciaga Paris, Tocca - Bianca. Yes I have all these scents on my dresing table and today I am wearing Balanciaga, it's just delicious!!   It's so funny when I met my hubby I was wearing Samsara by Guerlain and he loves it on my and yet has never bought me a bottle  LOL Bless him, his mind is not scent and jewelry geared but he has kept me in laptops, netbooks and my new Nano Ipod. He is the electronics man. I love all my gifts from him and I am okay with buying my own jewelry and scent. I bought him some Armani which I like a lot and also one called PY from Givanchy which he wears on occasion.  I love smells I can't help it. I adore driving in the evening with the top down and smelling the honeysuckle that grows along the road and the sweet smell of the mown grass and hay. I will breathe deep when I encounter these. Of course I love the smell of autumn, the chimneys, apples, baking smells from the kitchen filled with spices like clove and cinnamon....it turns me on! LOL  To me Christmas is another scent holiday. For me the spicy smells and candles and my memory smiles because I remember the cooking smells growing up then too. They say that smell is directly linked to memory and I can so relate to that.  So I guess you can tell I am excited about this topic, probably more than what is normal but then again this IS me and normal rarely is used in the same sentance with my name. LOL
     Now the sensibility section of our program.  I really don't have one. It just made a great title so there you go!!  I will say for the record,  I have found that Common Sense really isn't!  Also I sometimes make no sense and will do what my friends kindly refer to as "Mary speak" often. Other times I seem to be spot on and have been told that I have helped others with my "wisdom"   Wisdom? Me? jury is out still on THAT!! LOL  I know I am not stupid and can hold my own in most conversations but I can come across as flighty on occasion especially when I get terrible letter when playing scrabble. My mind goes dark and echoes. When speaking I will use all sorts of words but to put them down with pre done letters occasionally stumps me BUT I LOVE playing Scrabble and Words With Friends because it makes me think and hopefully I will improve. 
     So my lovlies there ya have it, my ramblings for today, I am going to take some pics to post like I said earlier because its almost comical looking to see my blouse hanging but I am not buying new things ...YET!  Until next time  - Ciao!

Okay Took Two Pictures

Here they are. The first one is me pulling the blouse out to it's actual size  then the second one I tried to pull it in and you get a basic idea but really looks better in person.  LOL  

I FINALLY HAVE A VISABLE WAIST!!   hahahahahaha