HAPPY HALLOWEEN

     Obviously I am still at work but I wanted to say Happy Halloween to all and if you follow my path or similar a Blessed Samhian!! As it said in my last blog going to do a few things tonight. Will have a few pics tomorrow I'm sure LOL What me pictures??? I LOVE them, posting and viewing. It borders on obsessive I know but it's a harmless thing, really it is :-D
    Heading right home after work, bring hubs some pizza, I had 2 slices already so I may night eat until my ritual tonight and that will be very little. Not hungry though. So I wanted to say hope you all got lots of sweets and did anyone do bonfires, I SO wish I could.
     I tell you peeps I am looking through all the photos of the aftermath of hurricane Sandy and I just can't believe what I am looking at. Greenwich Village in Manhattan they showed a street that the cars  were floating, and other practically submerged in water. I can't imagine how the stores are going to open anytime soon. It's going to take quite a while for the city that never sleeps to recover from this! So sad but thankfully those near and dear are all good! The boardwalk in Atlantic City, in places is just GONE!! Similar in Rockaway beach and downtown was under water as well. Battery tunel was filled to the top with water!! Freaky to see, looked like an end of the world movie, with debris and flooding and cars smashed and.or burned out.
     Sigh, many lost their lives but it was, sadly bound to happen. Thats why again I say life is so short, you neer know, as for me I will always wear my heart on my sleeve and tell those I love that I love them while I can!  Okay stopping as this was not meant to be a sad blog, but oh well!!
     I will be back later I think, if not i will be back tomorrow so as always Ciao For Now
(lol Halloween Colors)

    

There Is A New Commercial

     I think it for Honda Autos. The car has a built in censor that tells you when you've done enough (ie:putting air in the tire), this way you will not overfill everything. I REALLY REALLY wish they made such a thing for people. I'd have that shot into my arm so I'd hear a beep when I over overboard. I would sound like a large pond filled with geese!! I do it often. lol I really try to stop it. I say something that's meant to be a true friend compliment and then I think wow I sound way over top so then I email and just ad more stuff. Diggin myself deeper and deeper, I finally end up wishing I hadn't said anything at all................yea that would be a great thing to have!  ;-D
     So tonight I sit here typing, the cat's off doing cat things somewhere in the house, I look down and there is hubs! Snoring like he does and it feels better. These are my nights when I am in my home. I didn't sleep well last night, I think my mind was half awake listening for any noises that sounded like tree limbs breaking plus being in bed alone. Like I've said, if I planned nights alone that's okay but we shall have no more surprise alone sleeping. I love the feel of a man's chest as I lay my head upon it. It's comforting, I always liked that and I didn't have anyone to cuddle last night. WAA WAA WAA poor me!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA Gods I can be whiny at times ;-)
     Well we started work at 11 this morning so I actually had a full day. I am tired but I need to gather somethings for Samhain tomorrow. I used to celebrate it on the actual time, when the sun enters15 of Scorpio. This falls on Nov.6th at 7:10 PM Eastern. I still do a very simple almost all in my head ritual that night. I will tell you tomorrow how it all goes. I will be improvising my tools as most are up in NY. So for my athame (knife) I will use a finger, my chalice will be the mug made for me last chrimbo) the rest I have. I have an idea that should work nicely an I have to get small candles, one black, one orange, one white! That's all I'm saying, can't give away my special secrets now can I??  AHAHAHAHAHA (hear that with a cute fat witchy soft cackle!)
     Well peeps it is almost half past 11and I'd like to be horizontal by midnight, so I will say Ciao For Now and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

    Lets see day started with a text from my manager telling me not to come in, as they were closing early. I was going to go in but they decided to close at 1PM and since I go in at 11AM it didn't pay. Hubs went in and he got stuck working there because he is too diligent. He waited for someone in another building to finish a download so he could be sure they guy in that tech department was done but it caused him ot be there when this VP walked by. Asked when he was leaving, he said now, asked who his boss was and proceeded to call his boss' boss and up one more boss and they made him stay even though he was told he could leave. So much for worrying about workers safety. Wankers!!!
     My day was an odd mix of storm watching and thinking of my Mom. Had a bite to eat and watched this storm turn into one dangerous mofo! Had a wonderful chat with a friend tonight that was a wonderful surprise :-)  Just got off the phone with hubs and was going to give my Da a call but it just rang and rang and rang. Just as I feared he lost power! I wanted to give him my old mobile phone but he didn't want it. I'm bringing it with me to NY in a few weeks and make him keep it even if he doesn't use it at least he will have it for emergency's. It's bad in NY, a friend of mine watched as her daughter was almost hit by their tree that was fell on her house as she had went out to help the elderly neighbors whose tree fell on their house! Scary stuff indeed!
     I just got a text from my manager and she said they are not opening the helpdesk in the morning. She is going to text me in the morning about 9 or so. I am so ready for this storm to be over! 
     Peeps I am signing off for tonight as I may have to go to the basement at any time! So ciao for now
PS. Just realizing  now that I do not like sleeping alone unless I know I will be doing it! :-) 

Wow Three Posts. Lol

     I just can't sleep. Normally the sounds of the rain on the roof and a nice cup of tea end my night nicely but tonight my mind is just so unsettled. Between the anniversary of my Mother's death, hubs having a bad night earlier due to his skin thingy and worrying about my Da who is in the path of  hurricane Sandy, tea is just not cutting it. So it's been replaced with Baileys on the rocks and Mozart!! Yes, the round chick has a cultured side, what ya know! Lol. I also love Shakespeare , and champagne, and fine dining. One thing I have never done, and would love to) is go get all dressed up and go to Lincoln Center in Manhattan to hear Mozart played.  Then take a limo to a 5 star restaurant and enjoy a meal of the highest caliber .  Then there's the other part if me that wants to go to hear a funky jazz fusion band at a groovy club. Have drinks and relax on the couches in the back. Then hop a cab to greys papaya and eat hot dogs watching the people go by. I'm such a Libra! Lol I get lost sometimes wondering who I really am. How would I describe myself? Eclectic perhaps, but that's a broad statement. I wish I could narrow it down.  New old fashioned perhaps, if that makes any sense. I'm not refined although I'd like to be but I like to laugh too much and usually am too loud to bd considered refined! Ack I am me, take me or not !  Whew this must be the Bailey's talking.  I say that it's times like these, I enjoy having a blog. I can write what's in my head and to those if you who read it - Bless!  Okay I think I'm ready for sleep or attempting to anyway , as the clock is getting ready to chime 2 rings I say again Ciao For Now.

Oh Sandy!!

     Well peeps I had a totally different blog in mind but as those of you in the US know, those of us on the east coast are not going to have a good start to the week. Hurricane Sandy combined with another storm coming from the north could make for very very treacherous conditions. So far those of us in the VA/MD area are getting rain, and more rain, and possible 70 mile an hour wind gusts. They have issued flood warnings, and closed schools. If the northern storm mixes just right the mountains could get quite a lot of snow. PA is looking at the same scenario. NY is going to get hit harder than they originally thought I think. I know that they shut all the trains down at 7PM tonight. I worry about my Dad, but I know he will be okay. I just worry because during hurricane Irene he lost power for 3 days, this is already a worse storm. Well we will see, I hope all goes well and everyone in the path stays safe. 
     Well I got to Skyline Drive Saturday. It was such a nice day out and I know that we actually got the last weekend that the trees will have all their leaves. This storm is going to strip lots of those trees but the drive is nice all year. The overlooks are at about 2800 to 3200 ft up and you look down into the valleys and its so breathtaking. Looking down and seeing the plots of land and the clouds that seem to float right next to you. I have said that when I'm thinner I want to skydive and this must be similar to the view. I so can understand the appeal. It was so beautiful in real life but it was foggy so the colors are muted on the pics but there were all autumn colors LOL We also got fresh apples and cider, pumpkin butter too. Delicious natural goodness! YUM!! :-D
Here are a few pics for you:

     Well guys I'm tired, and I am going to hit the sheets so until next time I say Ciao For Now

A Letter To My Mother (You all can all skip if you want)

Dearest Mom,

      You know I always believed in reincarnation so I often wonder if you can hear me when I speak to you? I know it's been a lot lately, but Mom there are some things that I am trying to understand and I really could use your help. So sorry if I get to be annoying, but you know me? :-)
      I'll be honest, I was hurt when you died. I wasn't angry really, as I knew you were in pain, and I am glad that is now over, but damn it Ma, I was only married a year! I really could have used your advice on a few things, I felt selfishly abandoned!! To be honest, I truthfully think you spoke to me in ways I've not yet discovered, because I got through those unsure first years of marriage issues fine. So you know that sometimes I can actually smell your perfume. Sounds crazy doesn't it? I know you understand though, same as you heard your Dad whispering to me when I was a baby. I wish I could have met him but he died right before I was born. I still laugh though knowing how you hated the heat, and there you were having to standing in the hot August heat at his graveside. You told me that was the day I kicked for the first time! That sounds like me, 8 months into your pregnancy and I finally decide to let myself be known. LOL You told me that story so much, I hope that me being there eased your heart about losing your Dad.  We had fun though didn't we?
     Did you ever think that the silly things we did, would end up in blogs, or on social media websites? Oh you would love computers Ma, you could look at all the recipes and furniture design books you could ever imagine. You know that show Emeril we loved watching together, well you should see all the new shows that The Food Network has now, it's amazing! 
     Hey, I've reconnected with a lot of the family on a website called Facebook.  Your nieces and nephew are doing really well, as are their kids. Michele's daughter Adele has a son in high school, can you believe it!! Al got married again, he seems finally fully happy and yep he still has the beard and I think he may still do Akido (I mean he was at master level haha)
     Ma I could go on and on for days on end, but frankly it's nothing I haven't said to you as I lay there at night. Or whenever I trim the Christmas tree, or make a Sunday gravy for ravioli and meatballs (your recipe of course - the BEST!!). I love you with all my heart and soul. Hell Ma you gave me life. You would have risked your life and died for me if the choice ever came down to it. I know this. My love is endless for you. I hope one day our paths cross again. I will know you, I will feel your essence when I meet you again. I know it sounds crazy but I can still hope. By the way, I still hate ironing curtains, remember that night. I found out very quick that you can't use the high setting. At least I only charred one panel :-D  
    Mom I know Dad will light a candle for you tomorrow, as will I. You are talked about often, missed every day and as for loved? Well that's 24/7!!!!!!!!!  How fast 15 years has gone, yet sometimes it feels as if it just happened. I am going to go to sleep Ma, I need to get rest, so good night to the best Mom I could have ever had! I miss you sometimes so much it hurts! I love you Mom, and ALWAYS will!!
     Thank everyone for allowing my indulgence, Ciao For Now.

Mini blog

       Came home so tired but can't sleep and its after 2! Not in a blogging mood tonight but I did get to chat with a few night birds and one early bird lol. Was actually really nice!  I will be back Friday night with one peeps so stay tuned. Ciao for now!

I Think The Season Clock Got Turned Back

     It's been so mild the last few days. It actually hit 82 degrees yesterday. So much for wearing my new cute mauve sweater (for 10 bucks!on Ebay)! LOL
    Talked with hubs tonight and we decided to go take a drive out to Skyline Drive. Its so pretty anytime of year, but during the fall, it's just wonderful, with the trees all changing color. We go on Saturday morning around 6. It's about an hour and a half drive, we figure to be there around 8, and stopping for breakfast on the way. It's a great place to relax and clear your mind. This time of year the colors make beautiful blankets of oranges, bright reds and yellows.  Here's a photo of just an iota of the fab views. Took this one of the last trips we took last year.

 

      Well there ya have my big news, aren't I interesting tonight?  hahaha  It's just been steady very busy at work, I am tired almost as soon a I get in. I don't mind though. I have a job, I like the people I work  with so it's all good. Hey I told you about the Halloween dessert party, and today my director said he is going to buy everything for us. YAY! Nice people! So peeps yes this 'ole witch is ready to take off her pointy hat and call it a night. (I don't really have a pointy hat. LOL) So I will say Ciao For Now

 

Strange Days Indeed,

     I came home to find hubs upstairs in the bedroom, already laying in bed. Poor guy had a bit of a fever. So dinner was chicken soup and a nice warm cup of tea. 
     I am not going to a terribly long blog tonight, but I do want to mention a tragedy that occurred today, in Nassau County, Long Island , NY. Police Office Arthur Lopez was shot and killed by a man who fled then carjacked another innocent man and killed him too.  I saw the picture of where this happened, I literally gasped out loud! I lived not a half a block from there years back. I take that exit for the Cross Island Parkway, every time I go home from my Dad's to come back here to VA. I fill up at that Mobil station every time I leave, as it's right at the entrance of the parkway. I immediately felt anger and sadness, but isn't that what we do? Right there on a street I have been on more times than one would want to count was the perfect Yin/Yang of mankind. One man, who would risk his life to protect the people, and another so careless as he evilly chooses to take those lives! I also felt a tingle of fear. I never have before. Yes neighborhoods change, the area is very mixed now with many races, yet it never felt scary or un safe before. Everyone lived their life, Diversity reigned.  It now makes me more than uneasy. Not for me, but for my Dad. The man is getting up there and I worry about him. Thank heavens he is as healthy as a horse, but that doesn't come into play when you throw a gun into the equation, does it now? Of course this is the always calm, never over react or go overboard, calm, cool collected me!  LOL I know my Dad is well looked after by his neighbors. They have sort of adopted him! Bless!!
     You can't live in fear though can you? To do that is not living at all. It would be even worse than just existing, it would be living always looking over your shoulder. If there is one thing that horrific events such as this teach me, is live life, don't hold back, don't leave things to tomorrow. Tell people you love and care for them, help someone if they need it. Of course we all know life is short, but unfortunately PO Arthur Lopez' life was cut too short. May he Rest Easy and at Peace, until he is called back (yes I believe in reincarnation. 
     I leave you with a pic of the road. If you would cross the street and head as if it was towards you about a half block, there are stores with apartments over them. I lived over the deli there. 

  CIAO FOR NOW  

And Life Goes On

     Well not for nothing, but there were even MORE posts today. LOL Today was different, they did not effect me at all! I was shaking my head laughing slightly. I learned my lesson as a dear friend reminded me. Public forum, everyone a target! 
     Now on a pleasant note. I got my Halloween Costume today. Its kind of an angel fairy thingy. See now that is so not me. Wings and a hallo? I don't think so. So I liked the dress and the white wig. What I'm thinking is donning the dress, used color hair spray in blues and silver (maybe on that) use it, then do a los dios de muertos kind of make - up, going to practice tomorrow. OR, I thought more ghoulish with hollowed eyes and fake blood dripping off my lips. Not sure  LOL  Any thoughts on this? Anyone?? :-) 
     It's been a weird day. Work itself was steady as expected. I did my reports and recordings. Then went home and had crawfish and cole slaw. No carbs.......UNTIL!!!....no I DIDN'T eat any, I was watching The Food Network and here in the states they have a show called 24 in 24. 24 Dollars in 24 hours. He was in NY on this one and he went to a bagel store in Brooklyn. About 25 minutes over a small bridge from my Dad's house. DANGER DANGER - get behind me Will Robinson!!  This place of doughy carby goodness was showing about 50 kinds of bagels maybe more, and cream cheese spreads, and just amazing sandwich's. For someone who eats limited carbs, I was staring at these like a 7 year old boy stares through a strip clubs window.  One of my weakness, bagels, made the right way!! I really never have them down here, they are okay but not worth the carbs. Pick and choose, right? ;-) 
     Speaking of, I really want to get back to the gym, since that lovely sciatica attack, that's just now starting to allow me to walk perfectly straight, I am thinking maybe a week, little longer. I lay here in bed (yes I'm sitting on my bed with  my laptop) and do the leg stretches I was told will help me. Hey some movement is better than none, and I don't really take my pain meds anymore. Just some Motrin if it aches, plus I use Ibelieve on my hip and small of my back and it eases the pain as well. Great stuff, was told about it. Bought it from a place that has English items to sell online. As it's not sold here in the US. 
     So all in all a pretty boring calm day.....YIPPEEEEEEEE!!!!! I needed that. I want to say to a couple of people (they know who they are) who left me some comments on yesterday's posts. Thank you so much. Seeing those made me feel in my heart how much love there can be between friends and that you support me, even if I DID go on a public forum {{teehee}}. I also had calls from a few others. You people, who I talk with, and email and skype and IM, you are my family. Love you all. So with this gushing gushy gush outpouring of love, I will as always say Ciao For Now.

Truely Hurt Today

     Friends it's not often I am brought to tears but today I was. Backstory:  As I have said, years ago I did Rocky Horror, and as much fun as it was, there were the mini dramas all over. I could never be bothered with it, and stayed away from them. I was nice to all, and those that were just over the top with drama i just plain stayed away from. The sister of the man who started the "Official" fan club at that time I went played Magenta. I started to fill in when she didn't want to perform that night and eventually she left and I took over. Now she was a bit chubby, but always a pretty lady. I never was nasty, or mean to her ever!!  So on facebook in the Rocky group I am in, someone posted a comment about a commercial here in America, saying that the witch in the commercial reminded her of this lady. Oddly, I had thought so as well. Not that she looked like the lady but more along the lines of the outfit colors, make up, dark lipstick and wild wavy hair. gave a similar image to how she would look as Magenta back then. A costume reminds me of a costume, I gave it no thought. Plus I love the commercial, so today I go online and she rips the lady (& ME) a new one. Saying how could people be so cruel? I was thinking, what are you talking about? I read on and she then says she could comment on my look and have I ever looked in a mirror. Where the hell was this coming from? She was like I cried when I read this, to be compared to a ugly, fat witch! AH there it was! She asked me did I want her to tell me who I looked like. I should have said yes but I said oh, any middle aged overweight women would do. She attack me again saying that was of course what I would say as I have no respect for myself! Okay Hold the F on here! I have no respect for myself? Really? Considering I haven't seen this women since about 1983 how the hell can she say anything about me. She doesn't know me. Okay I figure I take the high road because hell I am not a stranger to being called names. So I say look what I said was not a dig at here but I go on the explain what I meant but oh no she has no part of it. She has lost lots of weight and now works for Jenny Craig the weight loss company. Good for her, kudos for losing her weight and getting her teeth redone. Trying to be her size 6, that's great for her, not me! She also "It wasn't even a sexy witch, but a ugly fat one. I'm sure the actress playing that part would love to hear that. But of course she is okay to insult an unknown actress but someone who she actually knew she attacks! It got bad, she was down right insulting. How dare she say I have no respect for myself, I was upset. If I had said she looked like her facially then yeah be mad at me but I don't do that. I always thought she was a cutie. Then all of a sudden other people who are friends of hers started attacking me! WTF I didn't even create the post, I made a simple comment on a great commercial that had humor and a cool withc riding around a broom factory, but she wasn't a toothpick sexy witch. She was a real woman, who I personally thought was attractive and looked great in the costume as did this gal years ago as well! Well let me tell you the nasty remarks thrown around, not one person I'm sure read when I said sorry if I offended her as it was not meant to be that way. My humor is not always common to the way the US thinks. I was attacked and it hurt like hell. Now of course the woman who made the comment is no where to be found, I have no idea how she meant it. I was the scapegoat and all the drama and bullshit that was around back then made me remember the reason I stopped doing Rocky. I finally said look was I ever nasty, or mean to you. Did I ever say you were ugly, NO just the opposite. It is amazing, since she is the sister of the founder like I said everyone was just kissing her ass. Even people who just knew her in passing and said so. So I admit, it became too much. I then see it brought over to someone Else's page, okay give me a fookin break and she attacked me again. This is ridiculous. I told her if you have an issue after all the apologetic posts I put trying to let her know how I personally meant it and not to lump me in with the other lady's opinions. Not once did she say sorry for insulting me. I had a bit of a go around with someone on the page and they said to me  "I see what you mean and I apologize for what I said about you" He said I was a train wreck and I was just evil! He doesn't even know me. I lost it and yes I cried some. I couldn't help it. Look if I F up I will always apologize. I would NEVER purposely hurt a friend, they mean too much too me, even those I consider acquaintances. Why would I, someone who was always made fun of when I was younger,  do that to someone else?   I got physically sick and a headache on top of it, it went that deep. I of course, have made my self calm down. I am just amazed at being blindsided that way. I had to get this out. Thank you for letting me. I have no time for drama in my life. I wish her no ill will, in truth its not worth any more of my energy. I am spent for today and it's not even 6PM :)
Maybe I'll be back later, but I doubt it, so until next time - Ciao For Now

Rambles

     Well I wasn't sure at first, but I checked the calendar and yep only October! I say this as hubs and I are watching a bit of television and Christmas commercials come on. I swear they get earlier and earlier every year. I miss the days when there was, Halloween , then Thanksgiving and then Christmas!! Instead of Hallogivingmas! It's ridicules! It's all money and I'm going to be like it was years ago. I am not putting a tree up until the calendar says December. Call me crazy but I like celebrating all of them seperatly. So there!  Haha
     Nothing really special guys, as I only got home about an hour ago. I gave the cat her much needed attention, kissed hubs and brought home dinner! So I am going to say night night! So tell me guys, what is your view on the subject?  Lol
Ciao For Now!

Nope! Nothing! Why the hell do they call today hump day?

    After a long day at work the only thing I am interested in is a hot bath, which of course could lead to great things but alas - nay!! LOL  On the plus side, I didn't have to take as many meds to day as I have done in the past. My hip and lower back are getting better - yay!!  Talking about baths, I need to make a new batch of bath salts. I like to make some homemade toiletries. and one day maybe I'll sell them on Ebay :-D   
     Well we are into open enrollment full force and so far it's steady, with spikes of madness. I am sure as the weeks go by those two will be switching. What's cool is that the time will go fast and Samhain will be here. Most of the world would say Halloween. It's the witches New Year and we believe this night the veil between the worlds is at it's thinnest. Spirits can walk the earth, which is why people now dress up, of course now it's Superheroes and Princesses, but in the early days it was ghosts, witches, demons, they felt they would be able to walk alongside the dead and not be noticed as being human, lest they be taken, back to the other side. Cool huh? Many witches will have circles and scry, or use Ouija Boards to try to contact their relatives who have died. Oh BTW, scrying is looking into a bowl of water, or at a piece of dark glass or polished stone, you concentrate and basically open a doorway for them to pass through. Does it work? Like anything, you must believe in what you are doing. Magick is not what you see on television. Many contemporary movies, like Practical Magic (which I really enjoyed) take the minimal core of truth and build up around it, making it more fantasy than fact.  I have not really done too much scrying. One of my strengths year back was Tarot cards. Don't laugh!! I got very good. I can't explain it, but you get kind of dreamy, well at least I did. I was at a party one time, my boyfriend at the time, who also did Tarot (he taught me) was doing readings for people. He told me to do some. Went pretty well, until one of the girls came over, as I start to read what I saw, I said congratulations. She looked at me with a stunned face. She said how do you know? I had only just met here that night. She was pregnant and hadn't told anyone yet.  I felt rather good after that reading. I knew if I concentrated and let my mind wander. Which btw is not as easy as those who know me might think! ;-)  I haven't done Tarot is a very long time now. My cards are still in there carved wooden box with a sigel etched in the bottom of it, that is there for clarity, but they are not charged. I think I am in NY when the full moon comes in November, maybe I will charge them there. Do a mini ritual so to speak in the backyard. lol   Wow try to hide that!! I mean it would be a lot harder than when you used to tell your parents that the smell is really incense. WooHoo  hehehehe  I love the freedom to express yourself , to not be afraid of your Goddess and God but love them and they loved you. Looked over you as you  as you met in the circle with those of like mind, talking, singing, dancing, out among the elements. A religion where sex is not dirty, but encouraged. We were built to have sex, an orgasm is the most tremendous jolt the body knows. It's documented that you sleep better after sex. Well I could have told them that, a few hours or 3, more?? (lol ) Makes you sleep like a baby. You know I must interject here on that statement. "Sleep like a baby!!  I'm not sure that would be a good sleep. Think about it, most babies cry at night and will wake up in a diaper filled with peepee and poop! Nah! Maybe i will say now, SLEEP LIKE A BOSS!! Yea yea that works (for now) Bwahahaha
     This time of year is very special to me, its the month my Mother died. She will be gone 15 years. It's odd , sometimes it feel so far away, & other times I would swear I smell her perfume. It's kind of nice :-D
     It's half past 11 and I'm contemplating making a cup of tea. I have become a real junkie LOL Well peeps, I'm going to put hubby to bed, he's snoring away but leaning into me, so I need to straighten him out :-)   Until next time I say Ciao For Now

   

A word from the "round chic"

     Well hello one and all. I have to say I know I didn't write a blog yesterday. Partly because I really had nothing of great importance to say and partly I was so tired. It was the first day of open enrollment and it ended late.  Come 8 pm and there were still calls waiting so we got out a little late. All in all it went well, today wax the same. I am tired. I will say that I was happy with myself that yesterday I had not one if the 5 dozen doughnuts that were bought. I Ben snubbed the Bavarian cream filled ones - god I love those but I stated true to my course. Have to be real hood as I'm not able to get to the gym and I can pack those pounds on quickly so yay I got through it!
      Like I mentioned I am tired. Heading to bed soon, actually make that sleep as I am in bed right now. Using my phone to blog lol.  I didn't realize there was another presidential debate tonight, but quickly realised this as a friend on fb has posted about 34 posts so far for Romney. I personally find him to be an ass. Well in a months time we shall see . I was more interested in wAtching that man skydive from space I daresay ! That was incredible and shout out to my friend who likes to skydive. You know who you are, I ask you, would you do that? He broke the speed of sound WOW!!!
       Okay no more. I am really tired, from what I don't know. Perhaps it's my muscle relaxer? But I'm stopping here. As always peeps, ciao for now

I'm Agog!

     Hi Peeps, as it was just a matter of time, I am on the website Pinterest, where you can put up links and photos of anything from recipes to re-siding your home.  Well I am on a few cooking websites (food.com and allrecipes.com to name a few) so I figured I'd put up some of my recipes to share as I LOVE to cook and bake. So I go to one site to put up my ambrosia, which on a side note, is my OWN recipe :-D , meaning I tweaked a combination of so many other ambrosia recipes, finally finding the blend I liked the best. Well low and behold as I looked at the page it shows that its been favorited and pinned on other boards by other people. Hizzah!! I was giddy with happiness that others liked my recipe, and took the time to leave really nice comments. I love to cook for people and I know I am no food network chef by any stretch but it was like WOW they liked it and I was so pleased. My recipe is being shared by people which I have no idea of whom they are. WOOHOO!! LOL  I know I'm silly but yay. So peeps of course I copied on site and here is the recipe. It could not be easier. If you try it you must let me know what you think :-D

 Awesome Ambrosia for a Crowd
Added by Mary on Nov 13, 2011

Mary says:  This is a quick rich and yummy ambrosia made my way after looking at MANY different recipes. I hope you enjoy it. Rich and creamy its a great dessert in the summertime (or any other time). This recipe feeds anywhere for 12 to 20 depending on how hungry you are :) Cooking time is overnight in the fridge

Cook time:	24 Hr		Difficulty:
Prep time:	20 Min		Serves:	12 or more

Ingredients

- 2 can(s) 20 oz each crushed pineapple - 2 can(s) 15 oz each mandarin oranges - 1 c maraschino cherries - cut in halves can add more if you like - 12 oz cool whip - thawed (1 container)

- 8 oz sour cream (1 container) - 1 bx instant vanilla pudding (3 1/2 ounces) - 8 oz sweet coconut flakes ( 1 bag - i use bakers) - 2 1/2 c marshmallows, mini

Directions

1.   Strain your pineapple and orange segments to get rid of extra juice. (I sometimes press on top of fruit lightly to help this). You want your fruit as drained as possible, (runny ambrosia is yucky) Then add the cherries.

2.   Next fold in the cool whip and the sour cream. Then sprinkle the vanilla pudding over the mixture, and and give it another mix. Add the coconut, you can use more or less depending on how much you like coconut. Then mix it all together.
3.   Now I refrigerate overnight and then about 4 or 5 hours before you are ready to serve (in the morning is good for late afternoon serving)) I add the marshmallows. This keeps them from getting too mushy. You can of course add them at the same time as the coconut. It's just a matter of preference 
Spoon into cocktail glasses for a lovely presentation. 

     Tomorrow (Monday)  I am back at work and I am looking forward to it, It gets rather boring sitting on your arse for days at a time. It also starts our Open Enrollment {{{GROAN}}} I am thinking it will not be too bad the first week, but as the time goes on it will get nuts. I already told hubs to expect me home late as I know when 8PM roles around we will have calls in cue. It will  bring me to mid November when its over, then come January more calls will start to complain about their new benefits  LOL 
     I really don't have to much, I did write a rare Saturday blog if you want to check it out. I will be back tomorrow night and will let you know how the first day went. So until then I say Ciao For Now

Perfect Moments Of The Mind

     How often have I wanted to come here and pen something that would be profound and meaningful. Something that when you read it, it's so good there should be music playing in the background. But alas, that has not happened. Years ago a fortune teller told me I would write a great book, years later a tarot card reader told me something similar, except that it would be not 1 book but 3.  Well no books, yet. I have written a few short stories and actually won a competition with one but Nora Roberts has nothing to worry about, let me assure you of that. But don't we all want to do something great that will be remembered once we're gone.  Forgive me for being a little on the morbid side, but it's late or early depending where you are LOL I also have my meds in me and its causing thoughts that leave me wanting. I put something up on my facebook that really hits on the truth. It says: "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be"
I think that is so true. We see perfect images on the television or in movies, great love stories, romance and passion and it distorts things for us here in the real world. 
     I will tell you though sometimes we do have moments of perfection. Oh and how we want to hold on to those times. I am fortunate enough to say I personally have had those times that seemed like I was in a movie.  Laughing with a friend, going to dine places that I had only read about, shared thoughts and dreams in an atmosphere where everything was indeed perfect!! I have locked those times away and when I feel down or that too much is on my plate, I take them out and relive them over and over. I know it sounds silly but it makes me smile from the inside out. So although I realize life is not what I see in the movies, and there isn't a soundtrack playing in the background, I do know that it is possible to have those experiences, even if its just for a moment. 
     This is where I end this as my thought ends as well. It was a fleeting thought in my head that I felt like sharing. I know I'm a silly gal, but I think I'm going to finish my tea and re-live a few of those priceless moments right now.  Ciao For Now

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, You're Only A Day Away

     Well peeps tomorrow (the 12th) is the birthday of yours truly. Yes I will be 3021 hahahahaha I will be spending it mainly lying in bed and wishing I could go out and have fun, or even be at work LOL  I don't like being sick, I get even more needy, GASP!!! hehehe Ah well hubs is bringing home some Outback steak dinners so we will have a nice comforting dinner. He also bought me a vodka home from a company called 3 olives, it's called loopy and it tastes just like fruit loops. It really does!! I was surprised that the vodka is imported from England, when I think of alcohol from England I always think gin, not vodka. :-D
     Although I am in pain, I have to say that it could be worse. I could have had to have surgery right away and found that my discs are all out of line but I didn't, so even though this is painful it WILL go away. Oh man, this morning my friend calls me and I guess I had fallen back asleep and I'm sure I sounded like a non sen-sickle jack ass! So I am sorry for that my friend. LOL To which you are probably thinking, what do you mean, you sounded like you always do :-D BWAHAHAHAHA
     Whatever the age, it's time to be serious, or should I say more serious. This was a bit of a wake up call, and I see that.  I'm not ignoring it either. I do have to see my regular Dr. next week but he is giving me a plan to follow and then I called my gym today and on the 20th I will be talking to my trainer about what I can use and how much the weights can be. My friend told me she had sciatica when she was pregnant, I didn't know it was like that. So yea I can beat this, change that to will. If there is one thing about me it's when I have a challenge I do my best meet it. I will though, of course take any help that is offered LOL  So any idea you may have, lay them on me please.
     Well in a few minutes the second presidential debate is coming on TV. I will not be watching, and I tell ya I am so tired of facebook becoming a political war zone. There is one person on there, I have known this man since 1987, but he fires off political trash like he's using a Gatling gun. Seriously I have no idea how he does it. Something else I've noticed, that many of the people who are voting Republican, are much crueler than those siding with the Democrats. I can only imagine what will happen when Obama will win, or even worse should Mitt win. I'm packing my bags and gettin out of Dodge :-) 
     Okay I have to say that the muscle relaxers and drugs are starting to kick my butt, so I'm getting off now. Until next time peeps, I say Ciao For Now 

WELL WELL I AM BACK AGAIN.LOL
      So as what happens often, I find myself back here. My meds have started to kick in and I am in bed sitting up propped against pillows. Hubs is snoring and the cat is curled between my legs. I am content and actually on Ebay looking at vintage Christmas ornements. Many of mine are from there. They replaced the ones my Mom used to put up, that were so cool, and now are retro or vintage. Things like kneehugger elves, old ceramics by a company called Napco. Some of the prices people are asking is beyond ridiculous, but a few are reasonable and I always put them in my wish list. Rarely do I buy them, but I may just do that tonight. I can't explain it, I love old things, antiques if you will. Especially things like these Chrimbo offerings that remind me of childhood, of a safe time, a happy time. I am so like my Mom in that I actually have boxes in the store room labeled, Halloween, Christmas, Easter, well you get the idea. Growing up, our home was always decorated. To this day when I look at a house, my first thought is, now where will the Christmas tree go? LOL It's a hobby (?) of sorts. Just in a comfy mood and that has been a rarity of late. I'm enjoying looking as I sip my tea. There was this little red reindeer up for auction that is the exact one my Mom bought me when I was about 7. I can remember walking along "the avenue" with my Mom, there were silver decorations on the lampposts, and stores were decorated. We saw these reindeer and Mom got the green one and I got the red one. I loved it, guess a little too much as in time her legs lost strength and the stuffing started to come out of little holes. Finally they went by way of the dinosaur. To see them just makes me smile. Funny the things that make us smile. I know certain people do, things we have done with friends, vacations or trips make us smile, but I wonder if any of you get the same satisfaction I do from looking at things you had in the past. Games, books, whatever! How about you all let me know, especially those of you in other countries, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts. I'm a odd duck I know, but I like to think a fun one, when I'm not being paranoid, or self destructive, or doubtful. LMAO  Well I just stopped in to say hey, still here and awake, what are you all up to? So off I go to meet up with Morpheus and hope to dream sweet, as I wish all of you sweet dreams always. Ciao :-D

     

Hump De Hump

     Well hope everyone had a great hump day. Mine was spent in bed most of the day. The pain meds they gave me work well, but make me sleepy. I'm taking Percocet AND Motrin plus a  muscle relaxer. So it's a nice feeling when they converge in my body. LOL I will be back at work on Monday, I miss it when I'm gone. I hate doing nothing and I like where I work so kind of looking forward to it.
     I want to get better so I can stand and not hurt. I am in the mood to break out the old dutch oven and make boeuf bourguignon. Yes of course it's Julia Child's recipe, and yes again I have her French cookbook. It takes a little time but it's so yummy! I want to make more of my Gordon Ramsey recipes also. I was fortunate to be taken there for late lunch a few years ago and I still remember how lovely the risotto was. I can't help thinking of these things this time of year. It's the cooler weather and how cozy a pot of stew on the stove makes the house smell divine. 
     Random thoughts in my head tonight, like one a friend told me that I'm stealing. For my birthday I will be 3021. You figure it out, I know you will LOL  Also bummed that we aren't going out for my birthday Friday night, hubs doesn't want to push me and wants to let my back heal a little more. He's correct I guess, but I'm just sad that the last celebration (for awhile anyway) also got messed up. I couldn't get off for hubs birthday, or our anniversary and now will be home sick for mine. 
Maybe we can do a nice brunch on Sunday. 
     Looking at pics of my friends on facebook, and a Winnie The Pooh quote came to mind, basically Pooh telling Christopher Robin to never forget him. It brought tears to my eyes, many Pooh quotes do actually. I will not forget my friends ever, they mean too much to me. All are wonderful,  in different ways, yet some are similar. Humans need physical contact to thrive. Did you know that? It's true, they did a survey with newborns, some were held more then others and they showed greater growing signs than those just left to basic interaction, (feeding, diaper changes, etc) interesting eh? I'm definitely a person who needs hugs and human interaction, I like giving them too. 
     Well it's just past midnight and my tea's gone cold. I just wanted to check in and say hi, I'm going to be fine, write me on my blogs, would love to hear from you all. To my friends who have my number..call me please, I am bored out of my skull staying home lol
Going to go now and read until I sleep, so Ciao For Now
    

Excruciating !!

     Trying to work through this pain, my leg feels like its on fire, I wouldn't wish this on anyone!  Hoping by writing it will take my mind off it. Not working !!

Big Baby I Am

     Yes peeps I mean me.  I am at work, haven't missed anytime but I can honestly say I have never felt pain like this!! My hip and butt we know! Still looking for chic ass slings lol, but my leg is swollen now and the feeling in my foot comes and goes. I am in my directors office because I have actually been on the brink of tears and I don't want anyone to see if I do. I'm a nutter to start with so no need to add to it. I can't take time off we are too busy. I tried to get my birthday off and was denied so you do what you must. Work through the pain. MRI in the morning. I am nervous as to what they'll find. I so want to call friends but I have nothing to say really and I'm not going to bring their days down! I can alienate them enough without that. Lol.
     I really have no thoughts peeps but I am thinking about getting a lap band. It's a band they wrap around your tummy and they can make it loose or tight so you lose weight more evenly and no cutting and you can remove it so I can get to my goal if 150 or 160 and not go any further so that appeals to me.  I do well on my diet but I love to cook and go out with friends so I slide a bit. Plus if my back is bad (I said excersise will kill me lol) I'd like to lose a little quicker without that sunken face look. Lol. I don't know, my mind had been all over the place and I feel like I'm admitting defeat and ask anyone I know. I HATE THAT!!!!
     Well lovelies. I'm signing out, will keep you posted and as always ciao for now

Saturday Early Morning Ramblings

     As I sit here at my desk, in my old room, I feel like I'm in a fog of sorts (has nothing to do with the Vicodin and rum and bowl I'm sure. LOL) Not a fog but a haze between eras. As I look out the front window of my bedroom, I see the same street, still quiet. In the distance I hear the rumble of the Long Island Railroad, even though its at least a mile away. I also hear the cars on the parkway, distinct from the train by their more Doppler effect sound. These sounds are as familiar to me as my own voice. The haze once again is there and I almost feel if I look out again, I will see Mike walking his Dalmatian Brandy. She was a beautiful dog. It was weird with Mike, he would come home from a date or a night out and pass my house and honk the car horn quickly. This is how I knew to get dressed and go outside to meet up. I would hear the jingle of Brandy's leash and I'd walk outside and meet him under the lamppost. It was our little summer ritual. We would talk into the wee hours of the night/morning. He'd tell me how the night went and I would do the same, we laughed a lot! Mike is the oldest friend I have, we have known each other over 45 years. I met him when I was 2 and he was almost 6, LOL.  We made a pact that if neither of us was married by the time he was 40, we would get married. What a teenage promise. Of course we both eventually did get married...to other people!! HAHAHA I sometimes really miss those days. Is it because I now have a 5 in front of my age, must be. Maybe it's being in this room, in this house. The ghosts are making themselves felt. Warm and comfortable memories, as soft to sink into as a favorite fuzzy sweater. I wrap myself in them and I feel my smile starting. Oh where do I start, what are the proper tales to bore you with ;-)
     Nah.........hahaha fooled ya, I'm not going to do that, bet you were scared for a minute! LMAO I'm over tired methinks. Its almost half past 3 and Dad will be calling up by 9 I suppose. His baby girl has to make him breakfast, which I love doing. It shall be orange juice, corned beef hash that I cook until almost fully crispy, and then I crack 3 eggs on top and cover so the eggs cook. The pan is 8" around so it makes a perfect circle of crispy eggy hashy goodness. I also will microwave a few potatoes then cube the insides and put aside, I then will sautee some onions and peppers, and when almost done I will add the potatos and season them up and keep cooking until the potatos are nice a browned. Those home fries, toast and coffee round out his meal. I on the other hand will have tomato juice, scrambled eggs and a slice of toast and tea, and yes I am a heathen, I put ketchup on my eggs!! LOL
     I really should sleep, but I can't. I just peeked out my window and all the houses are dark. I figure my bedside light and the glow from the candle on my desk must look like a beacon should anyone pass by. They can't see me, as I am hidden by the drapes, but it feels a touch voyeuristic to watch them walk by. On my way here tonight I took an alternate route and because of this I passed by attached rows of houses. A blue collar working class kind of area, this gave way to single family detached homes and then larger stand alone homes, meaning the neighbors were further away. One thing that was a constant, and that was the light in the windows. I drew your attention and made you wonder what it was like inside those homes. Hopefully they are filled with love and happiness. I know when I arrive here and I can see the light in my living room peeking through the blinds I let out a sigh that on occasion is audible. The light is my finish line, my journey is done (for now!) 
     I have no idea why I am so into light tonight. Maybe because the one in my front yard at home in VA is out and it was very dark leaving there tonight. hehe
I am posting a few pics of my home and my room, low light as I have just one bedside light shinning and the candle of course. 

  my little corner of light 

  my bed calling to me (ps dont mind the mess of my bags LOL

  view (through a screen) from my bedroom window down to the street and my lamppost :-D

  home

 
So maybe I do need some sleep; so off I go to snooze awhile, So, as always, Ciao For Now

Almost Midnight

Yes the meds are kicking in LOL. I was all set to write my blog when I looked at the time and thought, oh it's almost midnight. Those 2 words stuck out to me and immediately, I found myself writing this. Like all my stories or poems, I just sat and wrote it down, no re-do or scratching out words for new ones, sat down and this came out of my head just as you see it here. So in keeping with that, be kind LOL 

Moon hangs brightly
Wild owl call out
Time For goblins to play
Leaves turn colors
and crunch under feet
This is what they say
"Almost Midnight, when witches rule, the time before the dawn,
almost midnight, to our homes let's go, or be used just as a pawn."

They went there way by strong moonlight, not seeing any witch
They noticed though the night sky starless, against the moon looked black as pitch.
Along the way they saw an owl, a firefly, tree stump and a brook,
They walked right past, wary of witches, gave all them barely a look
They got home safe, to those they loved, they vowed to stay inside, 
the rest of the night, until the sun shined bright, they left with haughty stride.

In the forest the witches giggled to themselves,
We are not crazy, or evil or mean to any
We do not hex you, or turn your thinking
It's against our laws, they may leave you blinking

We love the earth and honor her cycles
We praise our God & Goddess
We are one with the animals, the flowers & trees, also with the air inside us
We harm none, lest ye be harmed, this is what we follow
So those witches giggled once more, at the men from last evening they saw
walk right past an owl, a firefly, a tree stump and a brook,
They walked right by those witches, and gave them all barely a look!

Fin

until next time Ciao For Now

I Am

I am going home tonight and drink a very large cup of tea
I am going to listen to some podcasts on Mixcloud tonight
I'm going to dye my eyebrows since I cant get a haircut until the 13th
I'm going to skip dinner, not really hungry

I'm really not writing a blog tonight as my side is killing me, but I hear there are some chic ass slings; maybe I'll stop at target ans see if they have any.
Ass slings - a rather cheeky idea :-D   get it ;-)  hahahahahahahaha

Sorry to shortchange you all but look on Saturday morn as I know I will pen a few thoughts when I get to my Dad's early morning. 
So until then Ciao For Now and Happy Weekend

I Have Never ...

     ...wanted to be the person who was always negative. I know people don't like speaking to people that never have anything good to say. Obviously there are times when we all have issues that take over, but some people are cronic in it! Even when nothing bad is going on they seem to be just negative. Like for example, You: "It's so beautiful and sunny out!" Them: "Yea, watch I'll get a sunburn!"  Just negative!!!
     I feel like my posts have taken that tone as of late. I'm just in pain, and I hate it. I don't like being weak, and I have a damn high pain tolerance, but this is just too much. It's having adverse effects on my entire body. It started with  my shoulder,where they said the pinched nerve is. So I had to wear the sling. So now it's my right side and hip, WTF - I can't wear a sling on my ass!!  So I'm walking slower, which is ironic since I've been walking better, but my arms actually tingle. It's like when your foot falls asleep and you get those tingles but on a lesser degree. Its almost, in a strange way, a pleasant feeling if you were laying down at home. The pain in my side though brings tears to my eyes, I broke down a little at work today, until the Motrin kicked in. It's embarrasing.
I tried calling a few people this morning, as chatting with friends helps take  my mind off it, but alas no one was around. So I tried to sleep a bit more, then I went to the doctors. As much as I'm looking forward to NY, I'm dreading the ride and also having to hide any pains from my Dad, as he tends to get over excited a lot.
     So here I am, wanting to be lighthearted but can't seem to be. I went on my other site I go to, and there were all the lovlies in various stages of nudity, or adorable younger gals showing there ink off, and sweet comments about love and friendship. I left the site, feeling bad about myself, because I will never be that alluring again, not only the looks (which I like mine anyway) but the entire package of being in your 20's. What's that saying, youth is wasted on the young! I finally get that.
    I understand not wanting to be around me right now, it's always the way it happens. The more I need my friends the less likely they would want to be around me.  LMAO   I'm not depressd or morose, just more quiet than usual and that scares people for some odd reason. HAHAHAHA 
   Peeps, I'm signing off for the night. I have things to do here at work, and then home I go to take the good meds and I plan to wash them down with a rum chaser! So until we meet again - Ciao For Now 

Interesting

     You know peeps how I'm always saying that you never know what's going to happen and you should tell people how you feel about them when you can and not wait.  Well this morning was a good reminder. Okay that may be a bit over dramatic and yet not really as it could have been quite bad.
I was on the way to work and the exit I get off at has two lanes leaving the main road. The far right one is the exit only and the one next to it can either get off the exit or go straight. So this morning it was pouring rain, not a drizzle or even a steady rain, no, I'm talking torrential rain. The kind where the wipers can't even keep up keeping the windshield clear. So I am in the lane that can go either way, another car is in front of me. On the right of us is a huge trailer hauling about 10 new cars. So we are all going along our way when I guess the driver realized he was going to have to get off the highway, and that was not what he wanted. Without looking (my guess from his actions) he starts to drive over to the left and right towards me and the car in front of us. Luckily the car in front had enough power to get ahead of him, now me on the side sees the entire truck right next to my car and still moving.  I had to steer out into the lane to my left speed up and get ahead of him so I wont get smashed into. Moment of "oh shit" I do it fast, luckily no one was on MY left. I go into the other lane, then put peddle to the metal as fast as I dared go in the weather as it was, and thankfully, was able to get in front of the truck and onto safety. He never slowed down once and I was just thankful I didn't skid. We were on a highway, not a side road so we weren't on mosy. I was a little un-nerved. Put it on my status on Facebook LOL  I was really trying to catch my breathe and legs. You know how you shake when your adrenaline rushes? That was me at that moment! LOL
     But here I am safe and sound, and still in terrible pain. At least I go to the Dr. in the morning. Last night I took 2 Tylenol with codeine and washed them down with some rum! I did this so I would sleep. I toss and turn all night, it feels horrid! My right back and hip area, all the way to the front and today down my leg and up my arm are tingling. Pinched nerve for sure!! There is a teeny part of me, all the way in the back of  my mind that keeps saying that's what my Mom felt before she was diagnosed with cancer in her bones. Now, I can be a drama queen, but I'm not about to go fearing this possibility as I know its nothing like this. I am just reminded of Mom's issues when I feel this way.
    Last night hubs was feeling no pain if you get my drift, and he wobbles into the bathroom and I hear the buzz of hair clippers. I wanted to say something but thought better of it and braced myself for the worst. I sweetly called out to ask what he was doing,and he replied trimming my hair its getting too long. Well I waited and half expected him to shave his entire head, but I let out a sigh of relief as he really did just trim it. Pretty good too!! LOL
    Work is crazy busy and I just want this all over with, and it hasn't even started yet  LOL
     Nothing witty or charming today folks, just my morning experience and aches and pains.  And now I had to handle a call from one of our reps and spoke to a very nasty, rude man who wanted me to do his work and got angry when I told him i am not authorized. LOL  It takes all kinds I guess. One nice spot is that I am going ot NY this weekend for a gals night and really looking forward to it. Almost has other plans but they fell through :-(  I am looking forward to seeing Dad as well though. I just hope that my back doesnt kill me on the trip up. 
    So thanks for stopping in to read my dribble and as always Ciao For Now
    

Do You Remember?

     First lets start with hubs and I had a lovely anniversary weekend.  He surprised me, as when I went into work, I found a box that contained 3 dozen gorgeous red roses, they are still here on my desk and smelling divine. We spent the night on Saturday at a lovely resort and had such a nice time. I was up early on Sunday for some reason and hubs was too so we had a sunrise breakfast, we talked quite a bit and it was so nice I didn't want to leave. LOL But today was a work day and we needed to get back to the real world of laundry and cleaning a litter box. LOL I would love to do this kind of thing once a month if we could :-D  
     Today has not been a good one for me.  I need to go to the doctor this week and tell then to fix whatever is wrong. All I can say is that as of yesterday afternoon walking was something I could only dream of. My lower back was and IS killing me. I have no more pain killers, so I took about 1200 mg of Ibuprophan (sp?) this morning just to be able to shower. They need to do something and I have no idea what, but when hubs rubbed my right hip and yes butt (hehe), I felt tingling in both my arms and across my back. WTF?? So I am not as sympathetic today at work as I should be and I feel terrible about that but I feel like little knives are being pushed into me. I was actually crying last night as I went to go to the bathroom to take off my make up and I couldnt stand up straight. Hubs had to hold me like a child, the frustration makes it all the worse.  SUCKS!!
     Speaking of acting like a child, like that segue, was good huh?  LOL  I am not perfect and I do fook up and I have to say if I have one flaw (of several ) its that I tend to over-do, always have, but sometimes I even over do my over do-ness!! Do you remember when you were a child and you were playing a board game; you rolled the dice and sometimes it would hit something on the board, or it might fall of the table and you were allowed a "DO-OVER"?  Why the hell is that not allowed when you grow older? I wish there were a few things I could do over.  I will not dwell on it though, (another thing I do - see I'm learning), I can beat a dead horse so much I should work in a dog food company - ewwwwww LOL
     ANYWAY...haha..... my problem is that I don't always think things all the way through and it can cause issues. I don't mean them but it may inadvertanlty upset others and that just rips my heart into pieces. Fortunately for me, they know I mean no harm but for fooks sake I really need to think more. I am quite a cool person but I have said it before - I can go overboard. I am working on it, I really am!!
     Work is crazy as well and I find myself wanting to reach for things I shouldn't. I was bad enough this weekend as hubs and I had dinner, we also enjoyed a pumpkin cheesecake as desert, it was so creamy good LOL  Enough though, I dont need anymore goodies, not yet anyway, but it's like an alchoholic! It's a crutch of sorts for me. Thats the hardest thing I have had to work on. I'm not stupid, I know what to do, it's just that when you are stressed out you do things. Hear tell tales of people who, when stressed out, actually go TO the gym to work it out of their systems. Interesting concept. LMAO   I am waiting for my new Nike Air Walks to arrive, I'm so excited to get them......
     Ah peeps, I find myself at a crossroads kind of. I can go in any direction I want and each has its own rewards and pitfalls. I choose the one where I need to try the hardest. I want to improve on my faults and work on my body AND my mind. I am writing again, wrote that Mask story and I wrote a few more short poems that I will share over time. Two years ago I felt on top of the world, and now even though I'm not under it, I feel it slipping a little. So I am getting a good grip, going to give myself a much needed kick in the arse, (sorry to those I'm taking that pleasure of doing that away from LOL) and not fall into the stupid traps I lay out for myself. I know it's me, no one has changed so my world of Mary needs to refine her doctrine. Tomorrow I swear I'm talking about low cal food and low carbs, and puppies, and music, and happy things , as I'm sure this blog has worn you out!!! 
     So my friends thank you and I say Ciao For Now