Jack Kerouac, I understand what you mean.

    So I am back in VA, it's  Tuesday, drove in the rain the entire trip. I hate that because the trucks stir up so much must from the tires, it makes it hard to see the road. So let's fast forward to today. One day later.  So after all the driving yesterday plus the week before, I look into the skies and see blue with clouds. So after I replied to several job ads, I went to my trusty steed , aka my 2014 Ford Fiesta Titanium, and off I go.  First to get salad fixings for dinner, then with that sorted, I go on an adventure. Open road, and early in the day, there's not many cars so this drive is a lot better than yesterdays.  So I open my windows to get that wonderful sweet smell of grass. It's divine, I wish I could bottle it. So I'm enjoying the solitude and the lovey views. I can understand wanting to drive cross country. So many things are out there to see. Here we have lots of civil war buildings, old slave quarters, gristmills, stone buildings with small windows. Now we are a young nation so what I'm looking at is all from the 1800's. Now further out, where I did not go, there are older buildings.  Down in Frederick, you can see them, also in other parts of the state. You have Monticello, Thomas Jeffersons digs. Old churches from early colonists. I love looking at them. I love architecture. Old parts of NY, both city and upstate have this appeal also.
     Driving relaxes me when I have no schedule. Just me, bottle of water, full tank of gas.  To me it's therapy, and thoughts go through my head. Some sad, people and memories I miss terribly. I have arguments with myself in my head. I calm my heart with my mind showing the reality and that the best outcome happened. Then those memories become golden. I dream of what ifs, what I would do if I won a lottery, if I got another cool job, lots of things. I see irony too, especially when I look at the electric poles all along the sides of the road. They remind me of crucifixes in a row. Considering I live in the start of the Bible Belt this makes me laugh. On Sunday's early in the mornings are the best time to go out for breakfast. All the good people are worshiping, while us heathens are enjoying our morning scramble and toast. Lol   My mind wanders and resembles Julie Andrews as she comes into view singing The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music. I even came upon Brigadoon today. Brigadoon Farms, where they raise lots of Moodogs, cows to you and me. Haha. I drove to Upperville and omg they are having a riding of the hounds in a month. They also have polo grounds and play every week. Posh folks up that way apparently.
      So I'm home, watching a Bones repeat. Oddly in this Bones is pissed about plastic surgeons, saying they take away our individuality. That we are born, and our life and experiences shape us. I like this. Im still being shaped. Will be interested in seeing how it continues on. I say that as I don't think we ever end.  I'm even looking way out of my comfort zone for jobs.  I'm nervous one of them will hire me but I know I can do what I put my mind to. I'm ready to move forward.
       Well peeps, time to prepare dinner, so I will say ciao for now.

And Now The End Is Near

of my NYC trip I mean. Its been a blast, got my haircut finally (a little short but it will grow), saw Sis, saw some friends I haven't seen in a long time. And have not had pizza or bagels on this trip, a first for me.
     Its weird, the more I am focusing on weight loss the more I am coming to terms with acceptance. Acceptance of myself, that not everyone looks, feels, or acts like the next person, and thats perfectly okay. That what works for one doesnt need to work for the other. Individuality baby, thats the key. Be the best you ever!!  
     Theres also been some sadness this trip. I didnt get to see my friend from Maine as her mom is in the hospital, she has pneumonia. Another friend, her mother has bacterial meningitis, and a 3rd, her dad is being biopsied and also has fluid around his kidneys.  I tell you, I thank the heavens for my dad everyday. All in all, he's probably healthier than me.
     I also got hooked on a Netflix show titled Versailles. SO GOOD!!! See I finished Grace & Frankie, and this came up as a suggestion.  Two thumbs up.
     There is more but Im not sitting correctly and its uncomfortable to type so I say ciao for now :-D

Are Ya Ready For This

     So Monday was kind of a float day. Spoke with a dear friend and got caught up with him, spoke with Sis. She's so busy, she needs to rest. I'm going to pick her brain when I come up. I've got to get a handle on my weight. I've gone down the rabbit hole & I need to climb back out.  I did get unemployment started but since I technically got 5 weeks of pay in lieu, it could prevent me getting unemployment for an additional 5 weeks. That really sucks.  I got a lump sum and a lump sum of tax took almost half
     Tuesday went slowly. I did get to Trader Joes, I didn't get much as I really didn't look around. The reason? This creeper dude get starring at me and following me around the store, so I left.  Had a good spot too lol
Soooooo fast forward a week. Yep a week's gone by. Got my pin to use for identification finally from the good old Commonwealth. Registered my direct deposit. Now to look for work.  I've put out resumes, wrote down where do on Sunday I can enter them into the database. They want to see you actually applying for work. So be it.
I'm off to NYC but I can't sleep.  Getting up at 7 to shower.  Bags all packed already.  Got to pick up some treats for dad in the morning. And off I will go.  I have a few items arriving there as well. It's going to rain and I needed a new umbrella, so I purchased a rather funky one. It'd a big purple flower design.  A bit gaudy but it's more quirky. It makes me smile and we need smiles on rainy days.  The other is a pink tea kettle. I brought home so much tea from work, do I bought an electric kettle to put in my bedroom.  I spend a lot of time there so this way when I'm relaxing watching Netflix I can just brew a cup of tea right there. I just want to make it my little sanctuary. Dad has a kettle but you need to turn on the stove, this will be faster.
I'm looking forward to this trip.  Oh peeps I had a fucking meltdown the other day. Maybe end of last week.  I'm much better now though.  I have realized several things.  I over think sometimes (shocker I know lol), I am not always into changes in my routines (so much like my dad on that one) and I use food as a crutch. But like any crutch, it's instant gratification, then remorse.  This will stop.  It has to.
Ugh almost 1am.  Why can't I sleep.  I'm upset. I was reading about that old man that was shot in cold blood. In his mid 70's. He was just walking home after Easter dinner.   May he rest in peace, poor man.  Oh his poor family.  It made me scared for my dad. He walks every day. I fear for him but I can't tell him not to.  I just pray the Goddess keep him safe. It's going to be great seeing him too. So with that I'm going to end my blog.  I will have another soon.  So until then, ciao for now

One Day More (& I Don't Mean The Song)

     I went into the system and my reduction in Force information is there. So it's all on paper now and the T's are crossed and the I's dotted.  At least my pay in lieu is in there so thats a plus. Until the tax is taken out  LOL  but hey its extra $ and that's good. I apply for unemployment on Monday and then the week after Easter I will go to see my dad.
Which is going to be lovely. Sis and I are going to go have lobster and catch up. Can't wait!
Plus I am going to cook up a storm for dad.  The kitchen in my NY home is bigger than the one I have in VA. So I like to take advantage of it.
    Im looking out the window at the rain coming down. It feels right somehow.  Im having such mixed emotions, Im sure they will pass.   Im taking all this as a new start, new me :-)

Nothing really going on, so hope you are all having a great day
Ciao for now

Step one...

You know when you should be sleeping but your body is like, sleep? Fuck no, I'm wide awake. Yep it's like that tonight.
Okay let's talk Fitbit. That high tech device that everyone seems to have now and don't other companies jump in on it? Yeah well I have one, it's a Alta HR. HR stands for heart rate in case you were scratching your head on that one. So it resets your steps at midnight. Party animal that I am, I'm asleep, :-)  so when I wake and walk to the bathroom in the morning and see I've taken 72 steps I actually audibly say "huh?"
My toilet is about 12 steps from my bed
, so how the hell did I get 72? Go back into the bedroom and sure enough it now reads 83. Wait I've lost a bathroom step, that's only 11! Wave my hand, 84.  Much better that's 12. So now I wonder what did I do while asleep to get all the steps? Did I direct traffic in the living room, walk around the kitchen table? Or do I toss and turn that much? That has to be it. I never wake in the same position I start out. So how fucking cool is that. I'm losing weight while I sleep.
Hey Mary, you've lost weight, you working out?
No, had a good night's sleep.
I will figure this out, makes about as much sense as celery being negative calories. Yeah​... Look it up!