Step one...

You know when you should be sleeping but your body is like, sleep? Fuck no, I'm wide awake. Yep it's like that tonight.
Okay let's talk Fitbit. That high tech device that everyone seems to have now and don't other companies jump in on it? Yeah well I have one, it's a Alta HR. HR stands for heart rate in case you were scratching your head on that one. So it resets your steps at midnight. Party animal that I am, I'm asleep, :-)  so when I wake and walk to the bathroom in the morning and see I've taken 72 steps I actually audibly say "huh?"
My toilet is about 12 steps from my bed
, so how the hell did I get 72? Go back into the bedroom and sure enough it now reads 83. Wait I've lost a bathroom step, that's only 11! Wave my hand, 84.  Much better that's 12. So now I wonder what did I do while asleep to get all the steps? Did I direct traffic in the living room, walk around the kitchen table? Or do I toss and turn that much? That has to be it. I never wake in the same position I start out. So how fucking cool is that. I'm losing weight while I sleep.
Hey Mary, you've lost weight, you working out?
No, had a good night's sleep.
I will figure this out, makes about as much sense as celery being negative calories. Yeah​... Look it up!