Almost Autumn

     So my peeps, this blog will be a two-parter. First and foremost the harder of the two. I found out over the weekend that a school friend from long ago was shot and killed. All they know is that a neighbor called him over to his car and then shot him when he was there. In front of his wife no less. Why? No clue, the man is not talking. I did find out my old school friend was the president of the Home Owners Association. Perhaps the guy was mad at the HOA , there is an ongoing investigation. I texted with him about 2 years ago, so it's been a long time. We were not close but I went to school with him, his family I need a local bar that was active in the community. It's just a damn shame.
    So as tragic as that was (is), the rest if this blog has to do with something near and dear my heart.  AUTUMN it Fall if you prefer. It's starting to get darker earlier and there's a sense of the Autumn season in the air. I went for a drive today since I was offered and the trees on the highway are just starting to change color. I saw a sign for hard cider, alas the store was closed. Lol
     We have lots of places to get it once the season goes full swing. I also noticed that less people are out at 7pm than before. It's like our basic instincts are kicking in. That primal body clock that tells us the season to start staying close to home us not too far away. For me personally, thus is when I start to wake. The cooler air (soon please) makes me more energetic. I may start wearing make up more and oh yes, sweaters and boots. Love them. I also feel a pull towards making the house more cozy. Interesting time though as in about 2 weeks we move into the apartment, so we can fix the house. We are going slow.  Going to order the bed and mattress next weekend, bringing kitchenware with us from the house. New litter box for the cat. Tray tables and a chair from ikea.  We will bring in things from the house in stages. We need a sleep couch. Found a cool futon at Wayfair. It's very mid century looking. Sleek looking in a cool grey. The headboard on the bed is also grey. The cat is also grey so this works well.  And it's neutral so we can bring in some cool splashes if color. I asked and we can walmount the television and even paint if we want. She said they repaint before a new person moved in so at least the paint will be fresh. There is recessed lighting throughout the place but I know me. I will get lamps eventually, as I prefer the look of a room lit with lamps. It will come together. And then if we stay, we're set if not all the new stuff will go into our updated and fixed house. So either way this year and most if 2018, will be a positive move forward.
Tomorrow is my mother in law's birthday, she would have been 93, and my mom is the day after, she would have been 92. I always was amused that hubby's mom was a year and a day older than my mom.  Lol
     Well it's time to wash my face and get ready for bed. Cup if tea I think first. So take care and ciao for now
   

Just Been Crazy Busy

Hey all, it's been crazy these last few weeks. Work is Uber busy which is good but my phone reception at work really sucks ass!! So going forward, the apartment is all approved and we move in on Oct 1. This way we can get the house to where we want and still not sure if we will keep it or sell it. Hubs birthday came and went and although funds are tight we went out for a modest meal and had a lovely evening. Not much to tell, yet so much. Lol. Not going to bore you all. So those who know my number, ring me. I've called a few times but peeps are busy so I don't want to pester anyone.
     Back feels better but then I had a lovely lady issue that had me going for cranberry pills. All back to normal now.
     I'm sure I'll have lots more stuff to write about once we move. Untill then, ciao for now.

Ye Gods! LOL

Left my phone at the hotel today, had a bit of a meltdown last night with all that's going on, and I'm getting sick!  Other than that, work is good, days are warm, and my Dad is good, so lots to smile about  :-D

Where Does The Time Go

   its been almost 3 weeks since I started my training at the new job. Its coming together quite well, I am getting kudos from my manager and co worker Ricardo :-D  The people here are very nice and it seems like its going to be a good fit.  Funny though, I got an email from the animal hospital about the job I wanted there that they had a part time position if I wanted it. I said TY but no TY. I need a full time position as well as I am now working.  I knew they liked me at the interview  LOL
Did just get a new very cool solar keyboard with a USB cordless mouse, love it. After the hand me downs at the last job this is a real treat. As is the foot rest and new leather chair for my ample tushy.  HAHAHAHA

     So we are still without water and this weekend we are headed to the hotel again.   We will stay Sunday and check out on Tuesday. My 2 days off so I can at least cook and do laundry without running all over the place, plus I am so going to take a bath. I mean we are washing and I have gone to the gym to shower but its so nice to shower in your own room, and well I just want my house back to normal.  I need to be patient and it will be cool to hang out just relaxing on Monday as hubs will be at work all day and it will feel like I'm on a vaca  KIND OF.  He's been so great at cleaning the basement, its a mess and we are finding more and more things ruined. The store room that we spent time fixing lost everything on the bottom two shelves. Mainly Christmas decorations but luckily nothing old. I have my mom's ornaments packed in my bedroom closet.
     So Sis sent me some awesome beach pics the other night and I really miss the ocean, I need to hear the waves soon. Not sure when I will get to NYC though as we need to take care of the house first.  Plus hubs birthday is in Sept, then our anniversary then Sis and I both have Oct. birthdays.  I'd like to see her for that. I've got a lot on  my mind and I need to be a bit selfish. One of m y friends, we've known each other a long time and its like trying to pull teeth to get him to contact me. When we do get together its great and I care for him a lot but he is busy and I've decided that people know me, they know I love them if we are that close so I'm going to give them all their space. Being in a different state than my friends makes it hard to get to see them all also. Sigh......
     So its a different day than when I started this blog  LOL so I need to start my work day. Ciao for now peeps

Yep I'm Still Here

      Sunday night and we are still at the hotel. I will be checking out tomorrow.though. Should be interesting. I took a shower before and I will take one right before I leave tomorrow. I will be showering at the gym. Its going to be a bit difficult but we cant afford to keep staying at the hotel. I mean if I had been working for awhile but the account is getting low and we do have bills that dont care about the other troubles. lol   Hey at least the air condition is working, we were concerned about that.
     I just feel weird, cant explain it. Work is going well methinks. Saturday went well.  All in all things other than running water are good. Still............ :-D

All Things Considered I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia

    Well maybe not Philly but I do like PA. Its been a crazy 5 days. The flood is still the priority in our lives. So at least not the actual measurable water is gone but the rug and everything is saturated now. I mean things were floating , I half expected to see IT down there (We all float down here LMAO)
My rocking chair was brought upstairs early on and it can be repaired. The only real damaged aside from the rig is my computer and all my stamps, watercolors and papers.  Luckily my colored pencils and my newer stamps are not on blocks and all can be saved. Just need to be cleaned.  My computer CPU was about half covered and is beyond help. I have not used it in over 10 years so anything on there was already backed up to my external drive.  There are a couple of stories and some older pics I did lose but oh well. All things considered its not as bad a loss as could have been.  Hubs did lose a set of his anime series.  The box anyway, the discs of course can be cleaned.
     Im on my lunch break at the moment and Im feeling more comfortable at this new job. Except that I get frustrated when I don't know what I'm doing. They tell me not to worry as its all new but I hate not knowing something.  I mean I was at CSC for almost 10 years and knew the systems like the back of my hand. I will get this and by next month Im sue it will be familiar to me. :-D
   Little by little Im Maryifying my desk  LOL   The tech guy is getting me the codless keyboard and mouse I asked for and he said he was trying to get the mouse in pink for me. Hes a nice man  And yes of course I brought my mug and some tea and I got a new addition for the ledge I have  I got him at Walmart for only $5.00  LOOK

Okay  lunch is over   I just wanted to say hi and fill ya in on my life or as I call it I can dig hotel life  HAHAHAHAHAHA

Lets Catch Up

So I am writing this from my hotel room. No I'm not on vacation.    Lets start with I have now finished my first week of training at the new job. I like it, its very interesting. The people are really nice and its something like I've never done. I mean talking with people are fine. I can that do that in my sleep.  Its the lab work and familiarizing myself with the lab tests and results. I'm really enjoying it. In a few weeks I get to go to pathology to lean how they process labs drawn.  Only thing is I'm not supposed to wear open toe shoes. I have been wearing grey woven sneakers and they are fine but today I went to Walmart and bought a cheap pair of black ballet flats. I also bought 2 blouses and a pair of capris. The prices are great, no wonder the fatties love it. This one now does too.  I mean its not posh but they are very nice and I need to watch my pennies  which brings me to the reason I am at a hotel.  Somewhere in the basement a pipe burst and we ended up having a swimming pool in our basement. So hubs had to turn off the water on Friday morning so that evening we went to the hotel. So he went back today and the water has GONE UP about an inch. The water was turned off!! How did it rise?? So hubs called me to have me call the water department and shut the main valve off. Its at street level, so they came this afternoon.  The water is NOW TOTALLY OFF!! We have to call back once all is fixed. We were supposed to check out of the hotel tomorrow but now we are staying at least until this coming Friday. Good thing I get paid on that Friday we will need it. Luckily the hotel is letting us stay at the cheaper rate for the length of our stay. Huge help.. So with the good news came the bad.  I verified that we do not need to call our homeowners association as they really don't give a damn what goes on inside the house as long as you stay within their paint choices and fix everything they tell you to do on the outside of the house. They are useless parasites!
     I am now cooking dinner as hubs is at the house with the cat. We were thinking of bringing her but it didn't make sense to upset her as the door to the basement is closed anyway now. She would be more traumatized by the cat carrier. At least hubs was able to take off some days from work. I obviously cannot. I tell ya, not a happy bunny. Here's hoping for a lottery win  LOL

Huzzah Huzzah!!!

     I GOT A JOB!! I am so happy. It took almost 4 months but last time it took over 10 so I'm ahead by 6 LOL.  Its time for some uber positive changes. I have been going through closets and I found my Adidas pink stripe shelltops. I thought they were lost but no, somehow they got shoved into the back of the closet. I didnt do it and I know the cat didn't do it. I'm not even going to mention it though, long past the time frame and why start a squabble. I washed them and they look good as new.  Yay  But I'm also going through clothes. All my winter stuff is too big, so I will be donating that. Job timing is great since I will need some new things. AND another yay is that it is business casual, same as my last job. I have dresses but I was thinking I would need to purchase more or at least a few skirts.  But I'm fine with what I have for now. WHEW!!!
    Heading to Dads in NYC, want to spend some time with him before I start work. Going to leave early so I can spend the entire day plus a few more with him.
     Trip was so swift and enjoyable. Leaving at 3am will do that.  I saw a beautiful sunrise and even New Jersey looked good at that moment. Brought him some bagels as a surprise.
     I did wander over to Amazons website and picked up a shelving unit.  It was very inexpensive but the reviews are good. So it will be shipped here tomorrow and guess what ill be doing then. I'll take a few snaps when they are assembled. I should probably take a video of my trying to assemble them. THAT will be funny HAHAHA
I also really dyed my hair red again' my hairdresser will give me highlights and a much needed haircut. When I get home to VA, I'll trim my bangs at least.  Lol
Well......fast forward
I am home in VA, it's now past midnight and we are into Sunday. I should be asleep as it has been a very long day. Got up early at dads, did a load of laundry and did a light cleaning in the kitchen. Counters and microwave. Ooh boy did it need it. Dad doesn't really cook, but he uses that microwave.  Lol
     So yes I cleaned my bedroom and put up the shelving unit. The room looks so good. I was able to uncluttered the desk and it made a huge difference. I wish I could take a pic but my phone died. Oh I was so upset Thursday night. I was on the computer with tech chat for an hour trying to bypass, reboot and more trying to get it to work.  But no, so my replacement phone should be arriving Monday.   Hubs bless him was going to switch my SIM card with his do I can use his phone but we'd have to reconfigure his phone. I told him, don't as I can go another few days.
Oh yes, just to let you all know, the shelves I bought, were the easiest in the world to assemble. It took me longer to get the box open. Hahaha
     I loved seeing my dad, but he's sliding down, he said the house is getting to him. It's a lot for him. He tries but he doesn't have the strength in his hands like he used to. I felt a deep pang in my heart when we discussed this. For him to mention it, it means it's very real. One thing for us to discuss, what will be within the next year. Of course he can live with us here in VA. That's a given, but we need to talk more when this starts to really be thought about. Next few months maybe. He is so excited I'm going to be working, he made me promise to call him Monday night to tell him all about it. Of course I will :-D
     Tomorrow, er later today I need to get a few bits. I need a lunch bag to bring my food. I need to cook and prepare my food for packing in said lunch bag.  I had noticed the office has a nice size kitchen, stocked with coffe, tea, microwave and fridge. Good good. I'm looking forward to this as it is customer service but one I've never done. I will be speaking with doctors offices and patients about test results or adding different tests to a requisition already placed. So it's lots of medical terminology, which is fine with me.  People all seemed great and when I went for my interview I had noticed a pink beach cruiser bicycle , you know the ones with the comfy seats and larger wider tires just sitting in the corner. No one knew who it belonged to as it's always just " been there"!  How could I not work there, I may have to take it around the office once or twice lmao.
     Yes I know I'm jumping all around in this blog, do keep up.
     I really should go to sleep, but my thoughts and the cold brew coffee I drank tonight won't let me.
I'm going to try though, although my cat has settled in bed between my pillows and hubs' pillows and I don't want to wake her. I know, she's a cat! But she looks so cute. Lol.  Okay kitty, I'm going to try and get comfy.   And with that I say ciao for now

It Was A Nice Surprise

So hubs comes home Friday and tells me he got an overnight booking at a hotel that the company he works for is letting him use. Seems it was booked and the rep couldn't make it and he won the drawing they all took part in. Whoot whoot. So Saturday morning we packed our overnight cases and had a little get a way. It was very cute. A room that a traveling rep could stay in and cook as it had a full kitchen. Yes I went to buy groceries to cook dinner. I'm dieting so I didn't want to eat out.
     It really was nice, big tub so I took full advantage. I always keep bath items in NY overnight case, so I had a nice long soak. Groomed up so I was nice and smooth all over and washed and conditioned my hair and gave myself and hubs facials.  Only thing was the TV remote was dead. Hubs looked at something in the back of the TV then he was able to control it on his old Samsung phone. For some reason he brought it. He uses it as a reader.
     I had a hard time getting into bed. It was really high. I kind of rolled into it as hubs was laughing.
     I think he enjoyed the scenery change as he was acting like a man who took 2x the amount of Viagra as he should. I'm not complaining mind you, but it took me by surprise. He stayed the course all day too.  I felt like we were back on our honeymoon. Don't know what hit him this weekend but.... Yay!! Lmao
     I'm not tired for some reason. I should be, I was up at 7, it's half midnight, but nope, wide awake.  Planned my food for the week. I have this protein powder I was introduced to by Sis, I made it like a smoothie with blueberries, didn't cut it. So tomorrow I am doing it again with strawberries. Nothing earth shattering for you all, just a comment from me. Hope it works this time.
     I wrote a poem this evening and I'll post it maybe tomorrow. Not sure if I want to bore you all with it. Lol
     So I'm going to say ciao for now. Just popping in to say hello.  Love & light.
   

Well it's July, Onto The Second Half Of The Year

     So peeps my days have been spent looking for work, eating healthy and looking for work.  I'm so fookin exciting, can you just imagine.  LMAO
     Well that's not all exactly. I was almost scammed in my job inquieries, didn't luckily, as I hold true that if something is too good to be true it normally isn't. It really irks me that they prey on people who are desperate to work.  I'm anxious to get work, but I'm watchful. It does suck that you want something so much you will at times lower your guard, but it makes you realize you must always keep your guard up. There are few people I trust completely, those that I do, well I'd take a bullet for them. Not to sound dramatic (too late lol) but I mean that.  We all have shit going on, things that we don't tell anyone, but I hope these few know they can tell me anything and I fully understand them if not. As I trust them and know they know I'm here if they want to share.
     I'm busy writing poems again, also getting to know our neighbors. They are around the same age as us and very cool.  Had a nice chat with the wife on my front deck the other day.  I felt so neighborly, I almost wanted to bake them a pie.  I certainly have enough blueberries. Ooh I got a great deal on low sodium albacore tuna. Only $1.50 a can. Perfect for one meal.  I am now the owner of 10 cans.  Hahaha.  Don't be surprised if one day I post a poem about tuna and blueberries and how some blueberries fell into the sea and got eaten by the tuna. You know some romantic blueberry shite. :-D
     I tell you I've been looking at all the prom photos of my friends children. Well they are not children anymore, they all look so grown up.  Such beautiful gowns.  I mean I was trendy with the styles of the day, my gown was made, so why I got sleeves I have no idea. And powder blue!!! What the hell was I thinking??? My boyfriend had a matching tux.  The funniest thing was we were headed up to the ballroom, the prom was at the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan NY, and a classmate and his date get on the elevator and he is wearing the exact same tuxedo! I can't begin to tell you how amused we were. So no one said anything until he speaks up saying, "at least we're not wearing the same dress." That did it and we lost it, we laughed so hard. We limoed around the city until we got back home at 4am. I hope all these kids had fun. It's an everlasting memory.
     Not much going on, been busy with things that make me smile, hoping my friends are doing well, missing people, losing weight, washing my car, and cleaning out the store room. Still!  Yes I know but it's half the house in width and about 3/4 the distance. If we could put a window in it we'd have a 4th bedroom. I've been window shopping on Watfair.com.  I'm all ready for my lottery win now so I can purchase the items I've saved to boards I've made.
     Kitty is curled next to me on the couch, snoring of course :-D it's gorgeous out and little Mary Sunshine is trudging forward. It's like we have to have hard times so we can appreciate the good. We have to get our head on straight, but when so many answers are appealing how do you choose.  It's like the color blue,so many wonderful shades, BUT , if it's up against another color or detail in a room it can lose it's charm, although the blue itself hasn't changed, just the situation. So how do you decide? Do we stay with the same old blue we're used to or do we just paint the entire room a brand new color and fill it with things that compliment it.  Okay...I really need to stay away from Wayfair.com. Lol
     I'll end this hoping you all find the right shade you are looking for.  Love & light and ciao for now
   
 

Whats Love Got to Do With It?

     I think the hardest thing in the world is loving someone. Its also the easiest. Its a mirror effect of sorts. When you're in love, you cry when you are happy, and you cry when you are sad. The most unsettling crying is when you are crying because you are happy for someone, but sad for yourself.
  
It is like that quote:  How perfectly draining to, at the same time, always feel like far too much, and yet never quite enough.

Yep, I've loved the wrong people,at the wrong time, the right people at the wrong time, the right people at the right time and the right people without them knowing it.
But I regret none of it, its who I am. I still know love, from my spouse, from my family, and from my dear friends.
Let me lay another one on you. Basically it states that nothing is forever. BUT things change (or evolve)
“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.”
― W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge 
This is a great book, I recommend it.  

When the subject is love, my feelings and emotions have definitely switched. Found the needed balance so to speak, and its even better than before, its deep and real, makes you feel good, not sad. Ive also learned to love additions to my life, and if you truly love someone, it stays with you and lives in your heart, and you are better for it.
Love will change, because if love is ANYTHING; it's adaptable! 

  

So What Will It Be

Okay I'm down 17 pounds in just under 2 months. I wanted more but my meds hinder it I'm told. Okay month is not over yet so I'm hoping to round it out to 20. (or a little more) it's okay as I'm not racing anyone. Thing is on a website I am on one woman dropped 185 pounds. Now of course I'm not planning on losing that but still, the excess skin she showed was a bit troubling. Now first off, major kudos to her. That dedication is fabulous. Now another woman dropped 124 pounds and her excess skin was no where near this other woman's. As a matter of fact she didn't have much at all.  The first woman is going to have surgery and she says it's not as expensive as it used to be and good drs will help you with a payment plan. My wonder is will I need this done, will I be like the second woman as my total loss will be similar to hers? I don't know, I wish I could tell. My Dr says checking me that she tends to think  I will be like the second woman.  I don't know. I mean it's about a year away but a year goes fast. I guess I just need to wait and see. It's just one of those things you don't always see, its something to think about. These women did incredible. So on this subject, check back with me this time next year. Lol
     As for my other main issue, work! I'm still looking. I hate the entire process. Either I have lots of good offerings or nothing much. So far this week it's nothing much. Send sone good luck.
     Lastly. Happy Summer if you live in the northern hemisphere and Happy Winter if you're in the Southern.
Just some thoughts before bed.  Kettle is on the boil so I'm going to brew some tea. Enjoy the night (or morning lol) Ciao for now

Live Life To The Fullest

So weird to write this.  I'm so deep in contemplation but I needed to share.  Nothing on this piece of rock we call Earth is promised. So nothing should ever be taken for granted.  I'm lucky to have several friends I hold dear in my heart. A husband I love and my dad is still here as well.  I've had health issues, stent, uterine cancer, weird fucking leg infection. My friends have had their share as well.  Now in between all this, life happens. My mind is on my friend in England who got the bad news his organs were starting to shut down.  Well seems he went through it and got married yesterday. I was thrilled to hear it, the photos were nice yet I could see the strain in his eyes. Today his sister contacted me to say that he had a heart attack again and is back in hospital.  No idea what's going to happen. Will he have a newlywed widow and I certainly hope not.  I hope he at least gets to the holidays. As sad as this makes me I have to smile because he is living his life. He knows he's fading yet he got married. He wanted to live his life and not give in.  I applaud this. Life is to be lived and cherished and enjoyed. So my friends and those reading.  Live your lives to the greatest extent of your beings. Fuck the naysayers. That's it.  Lol. Ciao for now.

Memorial Day Weekend

So this weekend, well Momday to be exact, we honor the men and women who lost their lives while serving their country. Here in VA, the DC district, and Maryland, we are seeing an influx of motorcycles as Rolling Thunder comes in to pay tribute to their fallen brethren. I have witnessed a teeny section of this and let me tell you watching almost 100 motorcycles coming on to the highway is very impressive. I can only imagine 1000's.  So many forget what this holiday means, so many have no respect for this country. I agree we have a very bad government at the moment. I am not impressed with this country's leader and staff at the moment. But this day is for all that served and did not return. They deserve to be remembered.  I do, that's for sure.
     Today has been a mix of rain and clouds so not the nicest day although the temperature is pleasant. We've been vegging, totally non thinking kind of day. Nothing planned, just some music, Facebook, straightening my make up area. Like I said, nothing special day. Hopefully a drive to the mountains and farmers market tomorrow.  I've been sorting my thoughts, if you understand me.  Just thinking. More money crap has come up, but we will work it through. It's life, I'm trying to stay upbeat as I keep looking for work.  It's hard sometimes, as often as you feel happy, you also feel sad. Unless you've gone through it, you may not get it, and I know some of you have.
     But every day is a new start. Weight is coming off slow but steady. I'm okay with that. I'm on several weight loss boards on Facebook and although not the way I'm doing it, there is still much support and lots of funny posts. Plus Sis is a huge help. She is a great advisor and inspiration. Another inspiration is my overseas friend, I swear he gets thinner every time I see a recent pic of him.
His girlfriend has also lost weight, in their photos from their holiday they both look fab. She is stateside, and I'm hoping to say hi in person one day soon.
    Tangent - it's rainy gently but the windows are open and that sweet mowed lawn smell is coming in. I love that smell.
     I went to get a pedicure the other day, and if I doubted losing weight I knew I had because the chair was so much roomier. Lol. Yep I had room to shift around, didn't touch the sides with my but or tummy. Trust me, that's a huge tell sign. It felt so nice to have it done. They gave me a paraffin foot wax for free as it was my first pedi of the season.  My little sausage toes look so pretty all painted up. I still have to scrunch down in the seat a little so my feet can be fully flat on the chair rest where they actually work on your feet.  As usual they love the tattoos on my legs, they always get smiles.
My tummy does hinder me doing my own pedis as they should be done, can't do the toenail cuticles properly. Hehe but it's cool, they do a great job. And I definitely can bring my legs farther back than before. ( no, won't tell how I know this ).
     I had gotten and email not to long back from another pal over in England. We've only chatted online, never met, but we became online friends. He's getting married soon and I'm very happy for him. He's not well though, and I spoke with his sister and I let her know he hadn't returned my emails recently. She informed me he is starting to have both liver and kidney failures.  I think that's why he decided to get married so fast, speculation on my part of course, but he has 3 children, 2 of them still teens and perhaps he wants to make sure all is legally done. I am very saddened by the news of how bad his condition is. I am not sure how long this can go on or if it can be reversed. I didn't ask, so I will just hope for the best.  I feel a bit selfish when I hear things like this, I mean I'm just looking for work, it can be much worse.
     Just some twaddle on this blog which really comes down to, life is status quo at the moment. Dad is good, as is hubs. My nephew got accepted to the university he wanted, yay :-D. Now to just get a job and life will be complete.  So until next time peeps, ciao for now.

Sleep? Of Course Not

     So it's now just after 1in the morning. I should be asleep. Obviously, I'm not.  I'm listening to the rain hitting the window and enjoying the comfort of my blanket. Watched a show on HGTV using my phone app. Headphones in of course, don't want to wake hubby. I'm feeling cozy, but a bit annoyed. I'd hope to have a job by now. Not letting it get me down. I've had my moments.  Trust me on that one.
     The cat has now jumped up and is purring quite vigorously in my ear. She's like a little furry motorboat sometimes.  Lol. I'll be back in the am, some stuff to chat about. Until then, ciao for now.

Yes, I'm Still Here

     I don't write nearly as many blogs as I used to, just trying to get a grip on life at the moment.  Life really is a series of events , of small things, held together by the occasional big thing.  It's very easy to write about the big events in ones life. The markers of sorts we'll call them. Birthdays, anniversaries, births or deaths. Theses happen daily in the world and are expected. But the better "big things" are those things we plan for. Like buying a new car, or going on vacation. Then there are surprises, kindnesses shown to us by others.  All mentioned can be written about quite easily, and I have :-D
     What's harder is the daily day to day stuff, the thoughts, the dreams, the struggles. They come across, more times that not, as trivial. Defiantly not reading material. Yet I've written about these also. My mind races with thoughts and ideas that sound great in my head, yet I often find difficult to convey in my blog. I see all theses awesome blogs, fashion, make-up, cooking, etc. and I find myself amazed at how put together each one is. It's not the fractured hodgepodge that mine often are.  It's like that shabby chic cottage look. It's lovely, chintz, and distressed wrought iron, usually in bright yet softened colors. The rooms are filled with mismatched sofas and tables, lamps and textiles. Yet the room looks perfectly cozy and inviting.  Now, if I tried this, my room would look like a year of nothing more than hoarding, or at best, a cute junkyard of "stuff".  The everyday thoughts are tough to get down. Example, my days right now are basically the same. I wake up when hubby alarm goes off. We chat and cuddle awhile before he gets ready for work. ( he gets to hear all my mundane ramblings first thing, oh boy!) then he leaves, I go through job applications, shower then off to run errands, come home clean, then off to more errands or just for a drive as I need to see something other than these walls.  A friends laughed, saying that every time we video chat, I'm in my car or a parking lot.  I'm on the go, but never seem to get anywhere.   Mundane can be very boring to those looking in. It does have a comfort about it though. That's the beauty of the little things, the day to day. The bring small spots of happiness.  Like that first sip of tea or coffee in the morning. Or smelling the onions cooking in the pan, knowing dinner will be yummy.  The little things, like finally getting your closet in order. Or putting in your earbuds at night before you sleep to listen to some music. Or the sound of rain on your roof, while your cozy inside. It's these little things that make up your life. We need to appreciate them as much as the big things. And not worry that you're not going to be voted best emotional blog of 2017.
     I do dream though, I've got snippets of thoughts and phrases written down that one day, I believe, will be a kick ass poem, I'm talking fucking amazeballs poem!
My little things right now are concentrating on finding a job, losing more weight, and just trying to be a good person.  That last one I feel I'm good at.  But when something big happens peeps, I'll be sure to write about it. I promise ya that.   So until next time, ciao for now.

Just sayin'

Just an observation: I'm noticing that liberals are called snowflakes, due to that fact they are perceived as whiney. But as soon as anyone speaks out of turn about Trump, people call for boycotts.  Seems that everyone has snowflake capability.  Everyone is going to both agree and disagree with everyone at some point.  How about we all grow up , work together, agree that no one is perfect, that the man in the White House has the ability to be wrong and right. And that that is what freedom of speech is. How about common sense, right from wrong. I am sad for us all right now.

Jack Kerouac, I understand what you mean.

    So I am back in VA, it's  Tuesday, drove in the rain the entire trip. I hate that because the trucks stir up so much must from the tires, it makes it hard to see the road. So let's fast forward to today. One day later.  So after all the driving yesterday plus the week before, I look into the skies and see blue with clouds. So after I replied to several job ads, I went to my trusty steed , aka my 2014 Ford Fiesta Titanium, and off I go.  First to get salad fixings for dinner, then with that sorted, I go on an adventure. Open road, and early in the day, there's not many cars so this drive is a lot better than yesterdays.  So I open my windows to get that wonderful sweet smell of grass. It's divine, I wish I could bottle it. So I'm enjoying the solitude and the lovey views. I can understand wanting to drive cross country. So many things are out there to see. Here we have lots of civil war buildings, old slave quarters, gristmills, stone buildings with small windows. Now we are a young nation so what I'm looking at is all from the 1800's. Now further out, where I did not go, there are older buildings.  Down in Frederick, you can see them, also in other parts of the state. You have Monticello, Thomas Jeffersons digs. Old churches from early colonists. I love looking at them. I love architecture. Old parts of NY, both city and upstate have this appeal also.
     Driving relaxes me when I have no schedule. Just me, bottle of water, full tank of gas.  To me it's therapy, and thoughts go through my head. Some sad, people and memories I miss terribly. I have arguments with myself in my head. I calm my heart with my mind showing the reality and that the best outcome happened. Then those memories become golden. I dream of what ifs, what I would do if I won a lottery, if I got another cool job, lots of things. I see irony too, especially when I look at the electric poles all along the sides of the road. They remind me of crucifixes in a row. Considering I live in the start of the Bible Belt this makes me laugh. On Sunday's early in the mornings are the best time to go out for breakfast. All the good people are worshiping, while us heathens are enjoying our morning scramble and toast. Lol   My mind wanders and resembles Julie Andrews as she comes into view singing The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music. I even came upon Brigadoon today. Brigadoon Farms, where they raise lots of Moodogs, cows to you and me. Haha. I drove to Upperville and omg they are having a riding of the hounds in a month. They also have polo grounds and play every week. Posh folks up that way apparently.
      So I'm home, watching a Bones repeat. Oddly in this Bones is pissed about plastic surgeons, saying they take away our individuality. That we are born, and our life and experiences shape us. I like this. Im still being shaped. Will be interested in seeing how it continues on. I say that as I don't think we ever end.  I'm even looking way out of my comfort zone for jobs.  I'm nervous one of them will hire me but I know I can do what I put my mind to. I'm ready to move forward.
       Well peeps, time to prepare dinner, so I will say ciao for now.

And Now The End Is Near

of my NYC trip I mean. Its been a blast, got my haircut finally (a little short but it will grow), saw Sis, saw some friends I haven't seen in a long time. And have not had pizza or bagels on this trip, a first for me.
     Its weird, the more I am focusing on weight loss the more I am coming to terms with acceptance. Acceptance of myself, that not everyone looks, feels, or acts like the next person, and thats perfectly okay. That what works for one doesnt need to work for the other. Individuality baby, thats the key. Be the best you ever!!  
     Theres also been some sadness this trip. I didnt get to see my friend from Maine as her mom is in the hospital, she has pneumonia. Another friend, her mother has bacterial meningitis, and a 3rd, her dad is being biopsied and also has fluid around his kidneys.  I tell you, I thank the heavens for my dad everyday. All in all, he's probably healthier than me.
     I also got hooked on a Netflix show titled Versailles. SO GOOD!!! See I finished Grace & Frankie, and this came up as a suggestion.  Two thumbs up.
     There is more but Im not sitting correctly and its uncomfortable to type so I say ciao for now :-D

Are Ya Ready For This

     So Monday was kind of a float day. Spoke with a dear friend and got caught up with him, spoke with Sis. She's so busy, she needs to rest. I'm going to pick her brain when I come up. I've got to get a handle on my weight. I've gone down the rabbit hole & I need to climb back out.  I did get unemployment started but since I technically got 5 weeks of pay in lieu, it could prevent me getting unemployment for an additional 5 weeks. That really sucks.  I got a lump sum and a lump sum of tax took almost half
     Tuesday went slowly. I did get to Trader Joes, I didn't get much as I really didn't look around. The reason? This creeper dude get starring at me and following me around the store, so I left.  Had a good spot too lol
Soooooo fast forward a week. Yep a week's gone by. Got my pin to use for identification finally from the good old Commonwealth. Registered my direct deposit. Now to look for work.  I've put out resumes, wrote down where do on Sunday I can enter them into the database. They want to see you actually applying for work. So be it.
I'm off to NYC but I can't sleep.  Getting up at 7 to shower.  Bags all packed already.  Got to pick up some treats for dad in the morning. And off I will go.  I have a few items arriving there as well. It's going to rain and I needed a new umbrella, so I purchased a rather funky one. It'd a big purple flower design.  A bit gaudy but it's more quirky. It makes me smile and we need smiles on rainy days.  The other is a pink tea kettle. I brought home so much tea from work, do I bought an electric kettle to put in my bedroom.  I spend a lot of time there so this way when I'm relaxing watching Netflix I can just brew a cup of tea right there. I just want to make it my little sanctuary. Dad has a kettle but you need to turn on the stove, this will be faster.
I'm looking forward to this trip.  Oh peeps I had a fucking meltdown the other day. Maybe end of last week.  I'm much better now though.  I have realized several things.  I over think sometimes (shocker I know lol), I am not always into changes in my routines (so much like my dad on that one) and I use food as a crutch. But like any crutch, it's instant gratification, then remorse.  This will stop.  It has to.
Ugh almost 1am.  Why can't I sleep.  I'm upset. I was reading about that old man that was shot in cold blood. In his mid 70's. He was just walking home after Easter dinner.   May he rest in peace, poor man.  Oh his poor family.  It made me scared for my dad. He walks every day. I fear for him but I can't tell him not to.  I just pray the Goddess keep him safe. It's going to be great seeing him too. So with that I'm going to end my blog.  I will have another soon.  So until then, ciao for now

One Day More (& I Don't Mean The Song)

     I went into the system and my reduction in Force information is there. So it's all on paper now and the T's are crossed and the I's dotted.  At least my pay in lieu is in there so thats a plus. Until the tax is taken out  LOL  but hey its extra $ and that's good. I apply for unemployment on Monday and then the week after Easter I will go to see my dad.
Which is going to be lovely. Sis and I are going to go have lobster and catch up. Can't wait!
Plus I am going to cook up a storm for dad.  The kitchen in my NY home is bigger than the one I have in VA. So I like to take advantage of it.
    Im looking out the window at the rain coming down. It feels right somehow.  Im having such mixed emotions, Im sure they will pass.   Im taking all this as a new start, new me :-)

Nothing really going on, so hope you are all having a great day
Ciao for now

Step one...

You know when you should be sleeping but your body is like, sleep? Fuck no, I'm wide awake. Yep it's like that tonight.
Okay let's talk Fitbit. That high tech device that everyone seems to have now and don't other companies jump in on it? Yeah well I have one, it's a Alta HR. HR stands for heart rate in case you were scratching your head on that one. So it resets your steps at midnight. Party animal that I am, I'm asleep, :-)  so when I wake and walk to the bathroom in the morning and see I've taken 72 steps I actually audibly say "huh?"
My toilet is about 12 steps from my bed
, so how the hell did I get 72? Go back into the bedroom and sure enough it now reads 83. Wait I've lost a bathroom step, that's only 11! Wave my hand, 84.  Much better that's 12. So now I wonder what did I do while asleep to get all the steps? Did I direct traffic in the living room, walk around the kitchen table? Or do I toss and turn that much? That has to be it. I never wake in the same position I start out. So how fucking cool is that. I'm losing weight while I sleep.
Hey Mary, you've lost weight, you working out?
No, had a good night's sleep.
I will figure this out, makes about as much sense as celery being negative calories. Yeah​... Look it up!

Alive And Well (getting there at least)

    Its been a rough 5 days peeps, got hit with a bad sinus infection. Thought it was just a migraine at first, which is bad enough, but nope I do nothing half assed! So I am at work now finally and I'm trying not to cough as that send a searing pain through my head.
    It fucking ecos in here lately, there are less and less people here. My last week next Friday and the few stragglers will be the following week.  I'm surprised Im still here. I'm doing emails (all caught up) and going over the ticket the India team are doing.  I hold nothing against these folks, they are just trying to work. My anger is at my company, they are going for the cheap option and I really have no clue of the future they have. I don't see it lasting long,  The merger of the new company is producing a brand new company and Im sure those in the other company have people going through the same thing I am. Like I said many times I wanted to leave on my terms, twas a nice idea LOL
Ive also been ill more lately, my immune system is shot methinks from all the stress. new financial issues, thankfully my angels are near to me.
    Im clearing out my emails as I'd gotten lax in this and as I go through the names and groups the issues come flying back to me. Much help was given and some thanks given in return. A lot from one employee who i do remeber well as they were trouble, several like that LOL But other emails that make you smile and get sentimental. Sincere thanks and kudos from employees that cc'd your manager and that's what customer service is about right?  Ive done this for over 25 years in so many different variation which is why Im looking in different departments now as well as this one. We shall see what comes up.  The real issue with customer service is that you aren't trained in any one thing, you are trained in a little of everything. So i know expense and travel, I know payroll, I know compliance and of course I know HR (my baby for 9 years)  I also know the working how how an envelope is made (no joke) and the shipping and marketing for an ice tea product who's company I worked in corporate for.  So I can handle most things, learn most anything, but how do you get people to see that, when you can't show them a masters degree or at least a bachelor's. Ive had more than one person tell me i could never do what yu do, you have to know so much as well as be a therapist  LOL Well the pay scale for jobs like these don't show it and here I am middle aged, not that that matters as I neither look nor feel it. Although I feel more a pensioner at the moment  LOL So here I  am feeling quite emotional  LOL  in the words of a dear friend  Soppy Cow i am  
Ciao for now peeps

You Know When...

...you think things are bad and then BAM!!! they gets worse?  I'm being dramatic, as its not worse, it's more a lateral chaos.  So now instead of having the new India employees watch me as i share my screen on skype they are now sharing theirs. We have been taking training turns with the latest 5 newbies and I had them two days ago, the girl today is getting the same issues with then as I did so at least I know it isn't just me. LOL   They now have access and we all feel they should sit with the people who got access last week and are taking calls all week now You learn better that way, that's how we do it here. You shadow someone to see what they do and you can hear the calls yourself.
Ive trained so many people this way, it works well.  ANyway, now I am reviewing their tickets and marking errors and having them fix them. Plus I am on skype to answer all their questions as they speak to the people calling in. No lie, I had 4 of the India people skyping me with questions all at once it got a bit hectic. Whats frustrating is that you tell them the steps as well as our other people training them have and yet they do not do them.  We cant see if they are taking notes or what, but they are asking questions we know we all went over many many times.  ANYWAY!!!! its over on the 7th  Mixed emotions there for sure    I have drank so much tea Im getting good exercise just getting up to go wee so much  LOL

I got the new fit bit as the other died and even added a new band to it so it is silver. It looks even more like a watch now  :-D   I have been being bad, as I mentioned but i need to ground & center myself and get back on track. Im not being weak, I'm being apathetic which is really bad.  So butter my butt and call me a biscuit Im going to be good again.  I'm still just as pretty though LMAO

So ciao for now peeps just wanted to say hi as I sip my Yorkie Gold tea and take a moment away from the crazy that is my office :-)


ADDING THIS:

I am really agitated and I can't even say it to whom I'm upset with. UGH!!!!!  Don't you hate that? And that makes you even more agitated. lol  Venting helps  :-D

First in many months

     I've been keeping a stiff upper lip about losing my job. My mind says hey do what you must but Friday at work the first wave so to speak left. I said goodbye to 6 people iced worked with, laughed with for years. The office was strangely quiet after they left. I am sad. I am mad, I am scared.
     I've been dieting for months and doing really well. But I've been stressed. I get these bouts of tears at night.  I have been taking my Valium to actually get a full nights sleep.  I can't smoke a bowl as I will need to be taking a drugs test. Although I don't consider herb any more crazy than liquor. Not even as bad. BUT it is what it is. Now tonight hubs and I are relaxing and I was like fuck it. We've drank some beers and laughed. Now beer doesn't get me drunk, Guinness treats me nice,  but beer, unless it's a good beer like Killians or Peroni, takes me at least a 6 pack to get a buzz. Now thesis PBR, a classic but what I like to call pee beer.  It's what you drank in the garage at 15, before you found Heineken lol. But I had 3 and I've not had any alcohol, so I'm buzzed. Maybe because it is cheap beer it's hitting me. My bet is on the not having anything alcoholic but I'm enjoying this feeling. It's hot in here, it's raining so it's humid. But I put the fan on.  I got some fuckin killer burps out too. I'm talking epic!
     I'm listening to Chuck Berry, he died today. Damn shame but he was 90. He was married to the same woman and seems like his life was good. May he RIP
     Did I tell you, we watched Sausage Party. Holy shit!! I was crying, it was laugh out loud funny. The ending, omfg!! Watch it.  
I'm off for now but hope you're weekend is going great, ciao for  now

Happy St. Patrick's Day

This is a day of mixed feelings for me. When I was young I loved it, Im half irish (dad's side) so I celebrated my Celtic heritage -  I still am drawn to it but now I also follow the old ways. The nature based Celtic religion, call it Wicca, call it Witch , call it pagan. I find it comforting and I personally do not like organized religion.  (sorry tangent)
But ST.Patrick drove the "snakes" out of ireland.  Um they don't have snakes per say. They were referring to the Druids. This makes me angry.  Preach your religion but don't demand I follow it. So for me today is a celebration of my heritage and not necessarily St.Patrick.  Oddly enough my Dad's dad was born on this day as was my Sis' mom.  So thats good reason to celebrate the day

So I wish you all Luck, and Love and something good to drink and eat.

So what does an Irish lass as herself eat for lunch on St. Paddy's day? Why sushi of course HEHE
Today it is Unagi (eel)with avocado and a trade with a co worker for a few shrimp with avocado :-)
There were leftovers,  so I gave them to my co-worker to finish, he got another 5 pieces of mine  lol

So Ciao for now peeps, until next time

Palette Of Life

Blank canvas - she reaches for her brush
what to paint, she wants to paint what she feels
reaches for yellow, such a happy color but she chooses the darker shade 
still yellow but not as pure
life has dulled a bit
maybe a little more bleach in her life
get rid of the roadblocks and bugs 

Perhaps a little blue now
oh yes a rich deep blue
color of oceans 
color of sadness
color of calm
feeling all at once can make you feel crazy

Red is the next
passion, anger, blood
blood spilled in anger 
blood appearing in passion
carnage all around
controlled chaos 
ruby red liquid in a glass

Lets go green now
save the planet, save ourselves 
lush grass under bare feet
smell of summer, smell of earth
in the sky green shows storms coming
going from lush to lost
in one small plot of grass

and after the storm 
Look
a rainbow
all the pretty colors
she looks at her canvas
she sees them all there
each one holding meaning
holding her truths
holding her fears 
holding her down

Slowly she reaches for the brush
pure white is the choice 
time to redo
remove
rebuild 
restart
and 
remember
It can all begin over
she walks away and on her canvas 
no longer blank 
is one word

FORGIVENESS

A Huge Thanks

I know there are a few of you who read my blog quite often. Is it to see into my weird thoughts, interesting tales or simply to see how many words I spell incorrectly?   The latter I'm betting. Lmao Well no matter what the reason, I want to say THANK YOU  I truly appreciate it.  You matter quite a lot to me.  It's quarter to one in the morning and I can't sleep so I just wanted to let you all know.  About the thankful thing, not the lack of sleeping part.  -_-
Ciao For Now peeps

By All Accounts

     In my life I think I've lost about 160 pounds. I've been living on and off for probably 17 years. Oddly I've never gained back my original loss of 45 pounds way back in 1997, which for those of you who know me, can realize - I'm a large unit. So I've lost weight and gained some back, in doing this several times I've lost my tits mainly.  So not fair, that when I gain it back, it never goes back to them.  I must stay on track this time, if for the sake of the girls.  Like I've told my friend, they are starting to look like two empty wallets.  I've been rather sick. Got that flu like bug that so many are getting. I've gained almost 2 pounds. Had soup with crackers and not eating right.  Yesterday for the first time I made a roast. Felt good to cook. Poor hubs was playing nursemaid, now he's feeling poorly. I have cottage cheese and strawberries for my snack tomorrow, protein shake for breakfast then salad with some avocado for lunch. Dinner is leftover roast with some form of veg. Thinking brussells. Very healthy day, and as you can see, quite filling. It's coming in at about 725 calories.  My fitness pal wants me at 1200, my doctor says at least 1000 but agrees with 1200. Maybe 2 veg, I love asparagus so I may have that too. That's a sampling of food, I do sometimes crave the goodies. Especially these past few days. When I'm sick, I want comfort food. (That's if it's not intestinal) Lol.  

I'm actually a very lucky woman. I have a stent, so life has been forgiving to me, in the fact that I'm here. My stent was a surprise. My Doctor told me that if I needed one, it's in a good place, away from my heart.  It's a family thing, my mom, my uncle and my cousins all have heart issues. So why am I so stupid in the fact I let myself go? Dr said it has more to do with family history than body size. Maybe, but why tempt fate? So I'm down 57 pounds now, ( well 55 again) & have always to go but it's a fine start. So here's to us all who are watching what we eat. 

      Another issue and it kind of goes hand in hand, is I  will be needing to interview for a new job shortly.  As I mentioned a few times, I will no longer be at my company, as my position is being outsourced. So I'll be interviewing, and I really hate the little glances you get when your fat. They think you don't notice, but you do. Newsflash. I feel more comfortable interviewing with an older person to be honest. Those younger women, you know,  the ones who have ankles, tend to judge you a bit harsher. Look, I did my stint wearing 3 or 4" heels to work back in the day, now I go for the 2.5" or kitten heels when I interview.  I still look good, hair and make up in place but gods, hearing all the thanks but no thanks, it gets to you. I am taking a little time to sort myself out. Visit NYC for a solid week or little more. Do a few things in my own home that need more than a weekends attention. Of course, I am applying for unemployment. So it should be fine for a few months. But I'd like to be set in a position by summertime. So fingers crossed and all good wishes appreciated. 

     Well, it's half 10 and I'm going to go shower so all I need to do in the morning is wash my hair. I must get to work. Gave to go train my replacements. Fuckin A!! So until next time - ciao for now. 

 

Well....

BOLLOCKS - TWATWAFFLE - CUNT - MOFO 
So hows your day ? LOL   

Actually just getting out a little frustration. I'm actually really good today. Today is Theodor Seuss Geisel's birthday AKA Dr, Seuss.  So may wonderful stories and quotes that we all grew up and learned from. I love his works and one of my favorite quotes is :Why Blend In When You Were meant To Stand Out"    
Just a great validation to read to yourself every day as we often forget that we all have something to bring to the table. 

So that's it for today, remember this quote and have a fab day 
Ciao For Now :-) 

Ash Wednesday (or the day after gluttony day lol)

    Yep, yesterday was Fat Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday if you'd rather. People all over are eating pancakes and having King cakes and trying not the eat the plastic baby inside them. LOL  My favorite is the masks.  I adore them, The ornate carnival masks and the sexy lace ones, be still my heart! I will get to New Orleans one day and shake my boobs to get some beads, one day!!  LOL
    So now the good catholics of the world are waking up with headaches and a touch of regret for the indulgences of the night as they head into work bleary eyed. I myself am fine  lmao. I am , as my hubby says , a recovering catholic. I've been pagan for about 30 years, I went back to the old Celtic religion and have never looked back.
    I went to Catholic school for 12 years, which explains a lot!! HAHAHA   And this day is one that I always hated! I didn't like being "marked"  Says the girl with 12 tattoos  (smirk)  Thing is some of the priests were just over zealous and I swear even with soap and water it felt that the ashes never came off.  I wore bangs during grades 1 - 8 for just this reason. Then sometimes if there were too many ashes they would fall into your eyes during the day.  Ugh I just hated it. This is funny though and fairly accurate

So Im here at work and we are training all the replacements and although they are very nice I can't help being annoyed that I have to do this. Does this make me a bad person?   That's why I haven't been on much, every day its been so draining, I get home and I just want to sleep. Its not even physical tired just mentally draining!! And that hurts!! ;-)

So I just wanted to say hi and I'll be back peeps  so until then ciao for now

Rise And Shine

    What creams my corn, busts my buttons, and generally gets my feathers ruffled is when I get new jeans and the damn rise is not correct.  Sis has the issue but for her the rise is too high, mine is too short.  Since I am ample both front and back I like a higher rise in my jeans. Now I don't mean I want the waistband right under my tits but I'd like it a but higher than my hips. I feel that they slip down if they sit at my hip level. I like them a little over my hips, I like to be hugged by my jeans LOL  Seriously, I must be the oddest shape, I have a little inseam (24") but my tummy , although going down nicely, is still larger so I need the higher rise, My butt is not bad so in the back the jeans are fine but if I pull it up in the front I get a very large camel toe"ish" thing that just will NOT do. I do not want to look like a person from Walmart. just because I'm fat doesn't mean I need to look unkempt or sloppy. I hate when I see that on others. To each their own I suppose. I like to think I always look decent. I can look damn well fabulous also, this I know. hehe I just want to wear a pair of jeans that are a good length and do not split my front in half so one can not tell if I'm coming or going!  Or give me a quick thrill from rubbing me when I sit down. (wide eyes here - oosh )
     So my time of redundancy has been pushed back to the 24th of March, for now at least. It may go even more, which would be nice.  Thing is that they are having issues with getting them access to all the programs we use. Plus we are training them using Skype meetings, so its not as hands on as it probably should be.  Down here in VA we have some idiot good ole boys that are not going to be happy about this switch. Oh well I guess it will not be my problem anymore. Sigh....
I'm just going to work here as long as they will let me, and squirrel away as much as I can.  Part of me wants to have a little time home to get house in order and hit up the farmer's markets that always seem to be  open on Mondays and Wednesdays. The Saturday ones are fun but crowded LOL  I can also take a week or two and go to NYC to see friends and my cousins whom I never get to see anymore. And I can do this during the weekdays, NICE!! Plus when I start my new job i will not get a vaca for quite some time so it will be nice to relax a bit as long as the bank account is okay. LOL   Hell if it gets bad I'll deliver pizza if I have to.  Honest work is honest work.
     Its been so warm here for February, yesterday it was 77 degreesF and today is supposed to be the same or a tad bit higher.  Last night I  got up to put the fan on in the bedroom around 2:30 AM
It says that its 76 out now at its 4pm in the afternoon
I just finished all my training session and omg Im am asking if they have any questions, and all I hear is NOTHING!!! They are good they say, I am amazed that they have no questions, I would have them as we covered a lot of different kind of calls, we did tax questions, floral tributes, benefits inquiries, expense questions   ugh I just hope they are ready and we already know they will not bring us back once we are gone.  I couldn't care less for the company but some of these employees I know and I hate to think they will not get good answers anymore. Ah well its over until Monday so time to go home tonight and do the naked happy dance at home LMAO  - Im out of here in about 20 minutes so  Ciao For Now :-D

Just saying hi

     Good Morning peeps, so today is our pot luck at work. One of the guys here is making chili so I made Rosemary garlic bread to go along with it. I stopped and bought a 1 pound brick of butter from the market that has local dairy. This stuff is outrageous, well as exciting as butter can be  LOL   But at least it will be nice to have a hour long relaxing time for us all to eat and chat. A break from all the training we are doing to help the new people.
     I had such a nice time in NJ, I made some Irish soda bread to rave reviews, that pleased me very much. I love when people enjoy what I bake or cook.  Sis made very yummy filet mignon and tomato salad.  As she and mom say it's all in the spices. As you know Sis and I are not blood related so this was the first time i was meeting her parental units  (lol)  Its so odd I've never met them before as I've known Sis for so many years.  But they are such lovely people and I enjoyed my time there so much. I hope to do this again as often as Sis can get off to go down to see them. They are a half way between Sis and me so its an ideal meeting point.  Plus the weather was incredible, high 60's in FEBRUARY unreal.
     Hubs and I have been chatting as he had a really bad night the other night. he is in such pain with is back and it must be, as he mentioned actually looking for another doctor. Up to this point he has refused as he has been to so many already. We also talked about if i cant find another job here once this one is over. I may just look in NYC near my dad and on Long island.  Then just see hubs on the weekends.  Who knows  I know thats crazy as he will never move to NY, not Queens anyway.   Im sure I will get a job down here in VA though.  maybe I'll win a lottery and it wont matter at all.  How nice that would be LOL  
     Well I hope all is well with everyone and I will be back, just checking in
Ciao For Now

Yesterday and from this point on..

Oh the joy of training your replacements!!!    We got an email this afternoon announcing the name of the new company and here's what will be happening, and we hope you are all on board and blah blah blah, thanks for all your hard work. WAIT!  Did you really just say that in the email you fucker!!??  The CEO of this company can kiss my fat ass in Macy*s front window!  I have been a bit upset but this email today boasting about how great this will be and that they are focused on the future really got me fuming.  So you outsource your employees for cheaper labor not caring as you (the CEO) sits in his high office making 20 mil a year in salary.  Not even mentioning for 5 years we saw no bonus or cost of living raises in pay, we saw nothing of this wonderful yearly returns. I like the people I work with and I am sorry I will not have a familiar working establishment to go to in the mornings, but the cold workings of business I do not understand. Its the worker bees that get fucked all the time.

On another, happier note--
We are having a party on the 22nd, a pot luck, and everyone is bringing something. I'm bringing meatballs, I'll make my gravy (sauce to the rest of you) on Monday as its a US holiday and I am home and I'm also home Tuesday, took a day off to go to the eye doctors and just relax.  Other than that, I had cheesecake last night at our Valentine's dinner, I loved it, I make no apologies for it BUT my tummy wasn't happy the rest of the night.  So back to eating better today, but it was chocolate raspberry and it was goooooooood!! LOL   Ciao For Now

Sunday, or as I call it Slug day

So the month is going fairly quickly for some reason. I've been sorting out finances, like canceling my 401k contribution so I won't have a huge deduction on my final check. After all is said and done, it should be fine. I went into work on Saturday and started to empty out my desk drawers. So many things go through your mind. I wanted to leave but I wanted it on my terms dammit. I came home and the damn broke. Had a mini meltdown. Then I yelled at myself and now I'm okay.  Today I did nothing except we went to do laundry before the sun came up. Then, we had breakfast.  I spent the day, getting ready to clean out a old bookcase I'm planning on using to put my desk items that won't go on my actual desk.  My owls, mugs, stuff.  Lol. I have a lot of fucking tea. I have loose and tea bags. Or sachets as they call them.  I'm having some calming peppermint at the moment. My tummy is full from dinner and this helps soothe me.  Not looking forward to this week, but I am looking forward to the coming weekend.  I get to see sis in NJ of all places. More on that at a later time.  So peeps I'm out, just wanted to say hi, ciao for now :-D

Smile When Your heart Is Brea... No Nothing Breaking Here!!

I smile a lot, I just do, I am a genuinely happy person BUT just because I am smiling, doesn't mean I am always happy. It also does not make me a fool who refuses to see the real life in front of them. I am very well aware of what going on in my life and in the world for that matter.  I take in a lot. I get tongue-tied so I do not always speak as succinctly as I would like. Do not take that for uneducated. I have been through a lot and learned many lessons, unfortunately it seems at this point many of those lessons will not help me in what I need to do. But on the hand,  many will help me deal with yet another (slight) obstacle.  I choose to try and always smile through things yet I can be deadly serious when needed.
So yes I got our notice that we all will be made redundant on March 3rd.,  but I already have reached out to a few people and sent out 5 resumes today ( a drop in the bucket of what will be sent I promise that)  I refuse to panic - I will hold my resolve that this will work out and my friends if I get a bit needy, please forgive me. Just tell me a dumb joke and my smile will come right back   :-D

Wow It's Been A Few Years (yes I'm letting go of anger lol, be warned)

     Since I've been proper, in need of a bucket,  sick. Yep, I despise it, and last night, (or early morning),  depending on your view, I had to run to the bathroom. It didn't even make me feel better. I just collapsed back into bed and finally fell asleep.  So it's almost noon on Sunday, I've had a cup of peppermint tea, with a sprinkle of Stevia, 1small piece of brown bread and a half pat of butter. A grand total of 72 calories. I don't think anything else will stay and moreover, NOTHING, sounds appealing.  I've been reading since about 9, yep it's a slug day.
     Yesterday I ran some errands and was amazed at how gorgeous the sky looked as the sun was setting. But people acting about as stupid as one can be, really got to me yesterday.  I'm at the drive through to get a cup of coffee, so the lady in front of me, driving her high end Merc, nails incredibly long, that she was clicking on her side mirror, was asking the voice on the speaker if they would give her a list of the pastries they had. REALLY!?  If you want to see, then go the fuck inside and look for yourself.  I didn't go in as I figured hey quick, plain tall Americano coffee. But no, it took forever, and if she had looked in that mirror she was clicking those nails on she would have seen me sneaking a turned up finger using the guise of rubbing my eye. Then after we both get our orders, I'm driving and someone decides that it would be interesting to make their right turn from the left lane. Barely missing my car. I came home and said to my hubs, I have way too much anger in me.  I mean at the end of the day, people will be people, I want to believe they don't do what they do to purposely make others angry, but I can only change my reactions to them.  Who knows, maybe I was purging some anger at 2:30am. Lol woke hubs up too.
     I don't know peeps, I've been losing weight and I've noticed that my hair is thinner. Ha that's funny! But I want my hair to stay fat you see.  I don't like it, and it's in the front. I spoke to my hairdresser about this, it's very possible I'm not getting enough nutrients, well not enough of certain ones.  She said I need more protein and even some carbs. I haven't had any carbs. So tonight I'm having a small sweet potato, and some plain baked chicken. Don't think I could handle much more at the moment. Hoping that sits well. I'm also due for blood work next month, and I'm going to look very closely at thyroid results. As this can also cause hair thinning. I know I sound vain, but I've always had a lot of good strong hair and to think that's changing upsets me. I'm going back to blonde as it will be a lot less noticeable. And I made a concoction of coconut, castor & Rosemary oils that I rub into my scalp and let sit for a few hours then was out.  I got a deluxe sample of an amino acid shampoo & conditioner from Kiehl's that is really nice.  So I'm hoping as I incorporate other foods back into my diet, that my hair will bounce back. As long as it's not medical. I'm just going to have to accept what is. If I can't fight it, I need to handle it.  I've gotten more into my meditation, well I'm trying too. But stress can cause the hair thinning too. Plus it's not a bad thing to do, I mean, the company I work for is merging with HPE and after tax time is over, I'm getting the feeling we will all be sacked.  I'm truthfully not stressing about that, not really, Que Sera Sera. I'm just doing more to keep a sense of calm and balance in my life. Do they have Yoga for fat people?
     So there is my life at the moment. Nothing really majorly wrong. Just the everyday annoyances we all have. It's very minut in comparison to a few I know. I'm trying to be a better me for me but also so I can be a better me for them!
We shall see if I can stay calm, oh and there's also the Valium....wait....what!?  LMAO (wink wink)
Ciao For Now

Groundhogs Day

     Well the day is here and good ole Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow so according to legend 6 more weeks of winter is on its way.  Yet the groundhog in Staten Island did not see his shadow so that mean early Spring.  What this just actually means is that no one can predict the weather. Although I do look to fuzzy caterpillars & the fluffiness of a squirrels tails in october & November to let me know if the winter will be bad.  Neither were fuzzy nor fluffy that I saw and the weather seems to be on track with that predictions. Especially the added fact that we bought a new snow shovel and both hubs and I got new snow boots. I think we have the correct talismans in place to ward off the worst winter weather LOL
     Well I just wanted to say hi and oh yeah, next Tuesday I  will be a blonde again   lol
Ciao For now

Finally Got A Little Snow

     So Happy Monday, we woke up today to some snow on the ground. Nothing major, an inch if that much, but enough to make it look pretty. And not too much so that you dreaded the drive into work. My car was covered, but hubs wiped off odd the snow as I say my arse inside the car.I really appreciate when he does that. I called him when I got into work to let him know this.  I also found out (the hard way) that I am out of windshield washer fluid, sigh. It wold have been a good thing to know yesterday as we were at home depot and we came out and I had a semi flat tire!! So we put air in it and then hubs got some fix a flat to put in the tire and he could have picked up the fluid there, oh well. So we got what we needed and came home then I crashed for about 3 hours. It was a productive weekend though and that's always good.  Spoke to Sis for a few minutes and that's about it, I do need to get my dad a few books, he loved Grisham style books. I get my love of reading from both of my parents, they were always reading.
     So weight loss is good, and finally my cravings are gone. I swear, I'm worse than a child when it comes to sweets. I found that a Werther's sugar free caramel satisfies my outrageous sweet tooth.  They are quite good but if you eat too many, ooh boy, you best be near a toilet, thats all Im saying there!! ;-D
     Life is status quo in my little world, the rest of the nation, well the oompa loompa in charge has caused all sorts of ruckus that I'm sure you all know about and have your opinions on. I'm not going into any political rant. As I've said I didn't like either of the candidates we had. I just think that all people should be treated fairly and as a person, not lumped into any group.
Peeps that's it for today, I got a lot to do here at work so ta  and I may be back :-)
Ciao For Now

Lets say Duh!!!!

     So today (Tuesday) I'm am heading back to my desk and my manager walks by. he asks if i did something different to my hair?  I changed the color about 4 months ago, so no nothing new there, and he keeps saying something abut you is different. Finally he says you've lost weight!! I smile and say yes, thank  you for noticing. he said I do see you walking by even faster than normal. I do walk fast in the office and in general, which is why I always had a hard time walking any kind of distances.  Short legs trained me to walk faster as I had to keep up with normal legged folks!! Im much better now and let me tell you walking the streets of paris killed me but i more or less did it with a occasional cab thrown in, Blees theme that were with me for understanding LOL
     So here I am at a 50lb weight loss and people are just noticing!! That says I need to lose too much. I know I'm smaller, my clothes and my steering wheel prove this fact :-)   Im not worrying about it though, I know the truth.  LOL
AND........  It's now the next day  LOL 
    I got to work (Wednesday) and after having a conversation with a co-worker, I walked into the kitchen to see two bags of bagels. I totally FORGOT that it was bagel day today. used to be a highlight of the week. Wasn't even interested. Whoot whoot!
     So yes all about me in that last little bit. I have so much going on around me though. Friends having issues,  and work getting really busy. Its tax time so of course everyone is calling to ask about getting their W2's and asking why the amount they are being taxed on is less than what they earned. Not realizing that the medical, 401k, etc, are non taxable so it makes a difference. And trying to explain the EEGTL tax, omg Id rather explain why the sky is blue!! LMAO   BUT come April the shit is going to hit the fan. The new company will be joining us and heads are going to roll away, its already like ten Little Indians here, the place echos, but once the merge occurs its obvious that many will lose their jobs.  I am not worrying about it. maybe because I've been made redundant before or maybe its time for a change, I'm ready to move on. Hubs is working (thank heavens) and I will get unemployment. So new things will be happening. We shall see, it may work that i can stay and even move forward with this merge. I'm a damn good worker, my manager says so in my reviews even so you never know.  

Came to work this morning and the moon was still in the sky, it was such a beautiful crescent moon I took a pic, Here I will share it and they say ciao for now , until next time 

Its Got To be The Weather PLUS Do What YOU Enjoy!! Lifes too short

I am in a foul mood. I'm arguing with hubs through texts, he yelled that I didn't check my text and what did it say, Some of the letters were not right but fuck i'm typing fast and sideways as Im busy at work, Then he gets angry when I get upset. Hes having issues too i guess, but don't take it out on me. Then the guys that are supposed to be our supervisors are online all day looking at expensive watches, like they are execs, and the guy next to me tells a person to hold on then proceeds to watch a video. Its all really pissing me off today!!  I feel like Im the only one fucking working.  (not true but seriously??)
I pulled a muscle yesterday cleaning and my arm hurts a lot. and its making me cranky  LOL   ah well  had to get that out.
As for the other part of the title, I got a major shock yesterday, I spoke to my friend from upstate, my old roommate and he told me that a mutual friend was dead.  he had just spoken to him on Saturday late afternoon, Sunday morning they found him dead in the she din the yard. They are thinking that he had a heart attack and knocked over a heater which caused the fire. The man had health issues but damn!!! You never fucking know, so DO WHAT MAKES YOU L;AUGH, SMILE AND PLEASES YOU !!! I have been reminded a lot lately that life is short.  So Im going to paint some flippers on owls as that makes me smile LMAO xx
Ciao For Now

Whoot Whoot!!

As you all know from my last blog, I weighed myself Tuesday morning and had gained weight whilst in NYC.  
Well I weighed again this morning and I lost that weight and almost a full pound more, in TWO days!!  
Happy dance time!  Hehehe x

Back From The Big Apple

     Hi peeps, I was out and about the last 5 days. I believe I mentioned that I was seeing Dad, Sis and my friend from Maine who is now in NY, well I can truly say I had a very good time. Other than a touch ill while out with Sis on Saturday. No clue what that was about, but I think it had something to do with the food I ate.  All carby stuff. I had at my friends house.  I had a cocktail, potatoes and sweets.  Add that I had a bagel and cereal at my dad's for breakfast. 2x.  I think my body said NO NO NO,  you haven't done this, we no like it.  I think its good that I cant, keeps me on track, which I am yesterday and going forward. I gained 2.5 pounds!!!! My body doesn't like to process carbs either. Occasionally is fine, but this was 4 days I had some carbs each day. LOL
     Other than this, it was great seeing my old friend, she is doing really well and her home is adorable but the new house she and her man bought is huge!! They are planning a 6 person hit tub for the deck, I told her Sis and I will be there and she said great!  LOL
Speaking of Sis, well she spoiled me yet again. First off I got my fitbit!! I'm loving tracking my steps. I even parked farther away from our work entrance today.  I need to get back to the gym. She also gave me tops of many colors to paraphrase the play.  LOL  I also got a really adorable  owl mug that you can see in the pic of my room (its below) and I will be keeping my make up brushes in it. AND... a very cool owl mason jar that has a spice mix that she uses in it.  Also a great pink mirror compact for my handbag. She is so generous but that's not why I love her. She  id there for you and supports you without judging you. Yes, a great lady.
     Spent some time with the neighbors on Sunday and they are a hoot, we spoke about my dad and how things need to get fixed in the house. he knows many repair guys so he is going to get estimates for the back stoop, and the wood trim on the house.
I rode around the neighborhood and took a few pics. One was of the library, oh i was there all the time when I was a kid. I mean taking out no less than 6 books each time. I still read a lot. My mom would do he morning cleaning and then we would walk up to the avenue (a main street in town) and then over the few blocks to the library. I also have a pic of a very cool place to have a cuppa and a good meal. The owners are from County Cavan in ireland, my dad;s people are from there.  Nice place, good food and good teas!! Their full Irish (English) is enough for two people. But never enough black pudding, gods I love the stuff!!
 Okay so here are the pics , so you can leave now or look  LMAO  

 Me and Missy

One reason I love the house in NY

Meatballs and macaroni (pasta) I made for dad

 rearranged my bedroom, I got bored

Theres the silver owl mug  lol

 my newest mug and cool teab ball with an owl chain

 Tea at Sis' home on Saturday (we is posh lol)

The restaurant, Swing The Teapot - cute place

BOO!! LOL 

Ciao For Now peeps