Sunday Special

     It's been a brutal few days at work. More times than not,  my thoughts this week have been " I don't get paid enough to handle this shit!"   Seriously, I got so upset this week, I could feel tears forming. Not from sadness but from anger. People just felt it was their right to belittle me, the company, our policies all because they did not go into open enrollment. They did not see the new  attestations there, therefore they did not fill them out, and subsequently are paying money they had no idea they had to pay. I was threatened today, that they would speak with my manager since I couldn't give them an answer. I gave them an answer they didn't like. I wish they spoke to my manager, they would have hated her answer even more. Her and I had a great chat after one particular woman, who called not once, not twice, but three times in one day. Wasn't it Einstein who said, doing the same thing and expecting a different response is crazy? Well something like that. Well she was. Oh I love my manager, we chatted over lunch salads. It's so odd in one year, how things change. I was semi on her level a year ago, as a supervisor in the same company as I am in now. I am now just a phone customer rep. I am back to being tethered to a phone, my freedoms of private calls and my own time are now gone. It's all good I suppose. I am working, I do like the people I work with. I just hate being so monitored. Not that I don't do work, I'm a damn good worker, but it's days like the past few that I truly wish I had my supervisor position back so I could be a bit more forceful in my tone with these people calling in. See to them I am nobody, I am their scapegoat. It's par for the course but occasionally it just gets to you. Especially when you spend a half hour on the phone with a person making almost 300,000 a year and you figure out what they can't. For the most part, they are happy with you for helping them, but damn, it says something that I have enough of a brain to figure out something I know only a little about, before they, who supposedly are trained and have degrees can. You know I just realized, Sunday will be one year that I was laid off from that position. There is no middle management any longer in the division I work in. Happy Anniversary to me, but I am working, with benefits, so it could be worse, much worse. I do appreciate what I have.
      That's the key though, appreciate what you have, because at anytime it all can be gone. I don't have tons of cash, and I buy generic sometimes, but I have a home, a loving husband, dear friends, those in my life who I trust WITH my life.  I have tasted exquisite though, enjoyed finer things, been to the theater, museums, sprayed my wrist with expensive perfumes. I treasure all of those experiences, I remember every iota. I often sit and remind myself that those times were treasured gifts given to me by those I love, those that wanted to show their love and caring with me, then I look around, life is then so beautiful. My life and loves are good, and I appreciate all the extras so much my heart could burst. No I'm not going to start singing " What a wonderful world" lmao but it is wonderful, even with the daily bullshit that can make you forget sometimes.
      Ah Sunday is a big day, no not my anniversary of being made redundant, but because it's , Imbolc. Or Candlemas, and yes even Groundhogs Day heehee. As a Wiccan I will celebrate the return of the sun. Looking through the snow to what lies underneath. The earth getting ready for Spring. Even though it seems far away, it will be here soon. I have seen it already. Where it was so dark when I left work in these past few months, lately I've noticed a glimmer of light in the west, as if the daylight is holding on just a tad longer.  Sunday I will light candles and make offerings to Bridgid, Goddess of the hearth. Nurturer, who feeds us from her cauldron. In ancient times people would use this feast to make their candles for the year. It's a tine of illumination. After twilight, when it's dark, turn on lights in every room of the house. Even for a few minutes, while the house is all aglow, imagine the warmth returning, the warmth of your home itself and the warmth of those you love. Let it all warm you from inside out. I will make cinnamon rolls, cinnamon being one of the spices to eat on this sabbath. Spicy foods and curries work well too. Peppers, onions, garlic, wake up your mouth. So a spicy stir fry will be dinner for this witch Sunday night. I made myself an oath to be better at following my path. This is where the Goddess is most forgiving. I need no confessions, no sacrifices to prove I mean it. Just the desire in my heart to be better and remember her in all I do. Nature doesn't excommunicate you, as each step outside is constant renewal of faith, and every breath of air is a baptism.
      Oh I do go on don't I? I am passionate about it I suppose, and when I care about something, I don't do it small. ( much to the sometimes pained smiles of close friends lol)
       I gave bitched, moaned, complained, felt melancholy, been joyful and been a bit mental in this blog so I think I will call it a night. 😊. I will write more in the days to come. I just haven't been myself getting over this stupid pneumonia, but I am headed to the gym tomorrow evening after work to (slowly) get back on track. So I say goodnight, and as always, ciao for now. 😚

I Feel A Weekend Coming On

     And it can't come soon enough. The week has been busy with a capital B, up to eyeballs busy with nary a moment to breathe between calls. Of course I'm still having trouble breathing to begin with. Lol
Hubs actually took me to my hairdresser appointment so I would have less to walk. I think I may have told my hairdresser the wrong thing about my hair, I needed the cut and she did exactly what I said but I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep it looking BoHo chic. It's blonde, it's short it's a bob style. Just not 100% on it. Ah it's hair, it grows, I will survive. She always makes it look great. I love her to pieces.  Tonight since my appointment was late, it was just her & I in the shop. So she's sweeping up something and let's out a yell. I turn and there's my husband making stupid faces in the window. She didn't expect anyone and he scared the bejesus out of her. Lol  he came inside and we all chatted. He left to go wait in the car for me, but it was a nice change to see him be social. Of course at the moment he's scratching like crazy and keeping me up. Hence the midnight blog. My eyes look dead, I'm not getting any sleep.  It's crazy.
     Well I am flattered, I have a follower on Instagram who is sending nice messages to me. He has a good eye and I like his pictures very much. Not sure where he is from in Europe but it's Europe, so, cool!! Nice looking too, hey I'm human. Everyone likes to look at pretty things.  I admit I get jealous though, can't help it. Nothing I can do about it except deal with my issue, but I guess I don't share well with others in some aspects of life. 😉
     Took a silly poll on Facebook tonight. Which Star Wars character are you? I got Princess Leia. Surprising but okay. One friend got C3PO. He liked that and another got Chewbacca. I teased him that he normally doesn't like animal stuff on Facebook and here he is one. Lol
      I'm going to go peeps, I need to sleep. Lots of sleep. So I'll see you all tomorrow. Ciao for now
     

Funny How That Happens

     Well top o the mornin to ya.  It's now just after 3 am. I was so  tired I feel asleep at 10 last night. So now I find myself up. So had a nice wee and I'm sitting on the bed petting my cat, who is quite pleased I'm awake to adore her. Lol not much going on. Got passed hump day but I am not a happy bunny peeps. I am getting so winded the last few days peeps. I'm having to use the inhaler they gave me AND hubs brought me to work yesterday and he's offered to do it today. Plus he will take me to my hair appointment tonight. WIW I  most grateful.  Hate this!!!
     I do have a funny thing to report. I have a message fan at work. I got a relay call last week   That's when you get a call from a middle person who is calling for a deaf person. Well we have a message system at work and we ended up just texting through that. We finished the call. Well about an hour after, I get a message from him saying how helpful I was and he sent a very cute picture  I said my pleasure and cute pic.  So as of yesterday he has randomly texted now 4x to say hello and have a nice day, along with more pics. Very sweet but I an amused. Seems I now have a fan. Haha.    
     See like I said perps nothing really earth changing going on.  Just saying hello.  Hope your Thursday is spectacular.  Ciao for now.

Monday, Scmunday

     So, day 1 of my first full week back and oh man was it a busy fookin' day! I barely had time to even go for a wee. No really, I barely made it down the hall. Another few steps and I would have had to go change my panties. Lmao  on the plus side I had a lighter lunch. Which really didn't matter as I wasn't very hungry thus afternoon.  I was a bit troubled by the fact I was coughing more than I have been. I got up to make a cup of tea, and got into a very nice conversation with a woman in the kitchen. I started to wheeze and she was next to me so I said excuse me, that I was just getting back from being out with pneumonia. She mentioned her mother had it also. We started talking and seemed she is from NY as well. We went from my wheezing to talk of tea. Another lady like myself who has a teapot on her desk. She was drinking an Earl Grey that she got from a store called Teavana. I've never been in it, but they make these high brow blends. Like summer blossom or lovers tea. I'm not into blends like that. I enjoy a nice bold tea. Earl Grey, absolutely. Oh I found the tea that I love, the Yorkshire Gold, also comes in an Earl Grey. Hmmmmm BWAHAHA. Oh but peeps, I'm telling you, it was nice chatting, but I am not happy I was wheezing. The weather is damp so maybe it's part of it. I will pull back, I don't want a relapse. Oh no no. I'm actually looking forward to some rain. Hubs bought me the coolest brightest rainbow umbrella. Different color strips and it's big. Love it. I'm sure lots of people will think I'm gay. Who cares, it a happy umbrella that makes you smile. Smiling in the rain, it's awesome. I live walking in a summer rain, with someone makes it even better. Ah my romantic heart. Lol. Peeps, I'm tired, so if you will forgive me. I am going to go to bed. How sad that a busy day is making me this tired. Ganging my head in shame, but I'm both grinning and yawning. So until tomorrow I am saying Ciao For Now.

Oh Sunday, Day Of Rest My Ass

     So it's been awhile peeps, mea culpa. Can you believe I am finally just now starting to feel like myself. So what's been happening in Mary world? Aside from heading back to work, the days are status quo. I was so happy to be back at work, and was welcomed with big smiles, and hugs from several people. My manager and director being two of them. 😀.  As luck, well my luck, would have it. I went out Thursday morning and my car wouldn't start, so back into the house and woke my hubs up to drive me in. In hindsight it was a good thing as I was a bit winded that day.and as it turns out the next day it was sleet and freezing rain so he drove me in again. LOL This weekend hubs gave me a jump and it started. It had sat for almost two weeks in below zero freezing temps. So, I did my errands and hubs is going to check the battery life and see if I need a new one. I wouldn't doubt it. This car has 94,000K miles on it and I replaced the battery only once, years ago. Pearl has given me many happy miles with very little issue. Let's continue this until I get my new car hehehehe
      So I must tell you, I've been on a cooking spree. I've been making healthy meals by taking ingredients and tweaking them to make the food better for us. I've made my meatloaf with homemade ketchup that has no sugar in it. I've made spaghetti with oil & garlic, but used whole wheat pasta and added grilled chicken and broccoli to cut down on the pasta portion of the meal. Plus olive oil is a good fat for you. All in moderation. I've grilled chicken and veggies and I am even freezing meals . Right now I have another meatloaf cooking that I will cut into servings and freeze. I now have about 12 meats in serving portions frozen so we can eat healthy during the week. This way I or hubs takes out the meat to defrost during the day then I steam some fresh veg to go with it. No more drive thru meals sans the occasional grilled chicken salad from Chick Fil A as I do like that one quite a lot. ☺️
     The other night I got naked and took a pic of me sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the full length mirror.  I then put it on my computer and gave it a good long stare. Okay I can see a change in my body. I admit the belly hang is not as low as it was a year ago. There is a space now between belly and top of thighs. Even the lady parts are now visible, haha! Legs look better as well. I was pleased but I have so much more work to do. Like I said, I'm not aiming for thin. I don't want thin. I want curvy. I like meat on bones. That goes for men and women both. I think envy one should be happy in the skin they are in, no matter what size they are actually. It's a personal preference for me. I will get there. I plan on another pic in a few months to see the change. I am trying to be truthful in my view of myself. Which is why a pic works better than just looking in the mirror. Looking in the mirror you can actually fool yourself, but dayum, that camera does not lie. And it does not hide anything. But that's what I want, I want to be honest to myself. I can make excuses for just about anything but really it does no good to kid oneself. So I'm not. I really was super critical. Hubs bless him, said I was being too hard on myself but he sees me differently anyway. Although I've never been shy about being naked. I love naked, feels good. Swimming ( well standing in a pool for me 😜) feels great on the body. Love it!!!
     So hopefully I can get to the gym soon. Doctor on Saturday is still not giving me a green light for it. How the hell long is this going to take?! So I. The meantime, I'm doing leg lifts in bed and marching in place before bed. You know, keeping my ass in gear. LMAO
      Listening to a group right now called Rae & Christian, just chillin' while my food cooks in the oven. Did some shopping, prepped 3 sets of meals, did laundry and now just sitting down to have a nice cup of tea. The music, and the tea, along with the cat purring at my feet is making me a happy bunny at the moment. Going to enjoy this while it lasts. My thoughts are on friends not present and hoping they are all having a great weekend. Oh check it! Speaking of friends. I have several who are going to be traveling to Finland in a few weeks to see the northern lights. There is a place that has glass igloo dwellings so you can loom right out and sleep under the lights pretty much. How amazing that is going to be. I hope they take a video for us not so lucky folks. Lol They do so many cool things, well maybe to me they seem so cool because I have not done them. I mean I have done some neat things. Come on now, I went to the groundhog ball and saw the groundhog come out on groundhogs day years ago. Epic right?? BWAHAHAHA. But I've never gone anywhere as cool as the Northern lights or ridden a camel. Hell I've only been on a plane 3x in my life. They work hard and deserve the fun, but I'm a little jealous of the coolness of it. I a good way though. Again, as I've said, I'm that sows ear waiting to be made into that silk purse. Okay silk backpack! ( more my style 😉) I will, I know it!   I'm deny no one anything, we all must work for what we have. I consider myself lucky to know these uber cool folks. All my friends are cool. They all have had struggles that they have handled like bosses. I'm proud of my friends, and I'm striving to be someone they can be proud of as well. Love them and love myself unconditionally finally. Yes it's been a good Sunday
     So I will end here peeps and say as I always do, ciao for now.

Well It's Back To The Normal Routine

     Bath taken, hair shampooed and sitting watching tv in my very comfy bathrobe (or dressing gown if you prefer). I'm looking forward to going back to work in the morning. I'm going in early as I've got a lot of emails to catch up on. I've glanced at them all but I need to read some in depth. Still get tired quickly but I sit all day so all good.
     I was going to go to NY thus weekend but I think the drive may prove to be too much and I have things I need to do here. Get my hair done us tops on my list. Lol I look like a shaggy Yorkshire terrier. 😜. Guys I have things to chat about but I'm going to sleep a little early tonight. So I will be back tomorrow night. Hope you all have a fab day.  Until then. Ciao for now

What Do Fat Chicks Eat?

     The answer may surprise you. Of course I can only go from personal experience and a few random  items I've seen on other blogs.   For starters, let's just say, they (I) eat the exact same thing that everyone else eats. See we all need nourishment. Problem is that unlike drugs or alcohol, when food becomes an issue, you can't just quit cold turkey. So this presents a hurdle from the start.  You can go the fast food route, and yes, if you stick with grilled chicken salads you can be fairly decent in the calories, but still the sodium is way too high. So keeping that at a minimum, you trudge over to the grocery store. You have a warrior view of divide and concur these aisles. Walking past the cookies and the cakes. Stopping at the fresh veg, and the "good for you" carbs. Sweet potatoes, not white. Brown rice, not white. Whole wheat breads, not white. Diets sure are prejudice!  But one reaches over the "bad" food to get to the good.  Pardon the tangent,  but that's something else I've noticed. Stores stock the "bad" food at eye level. Well most peoples eye level, being short mine is a bit off. They are pushing the high sugar, high fat items right at you. Those bastards!!!!  Going forward, I struggle to get to the items I need, on tip toe or wait for someone to get them for me, should they be on top shelves.  So when I'm satisfied I have all I came for, I go check out.  I end up with two bags and the cost? Somewhere near $90.00. Yes dieting is costly. No wonder here in the USA, at least, so many people are overweight. It's just cheaper and easier to buy fast food or get those eye level items. But it's for me and I'm worth it right?
     So getting back to what we eat. My fridge has, lean ground beef, fish and chicken. Also eggs, 1% milk! low fat string cheese! assorted yogurts. All good stuff. Now here comes the second half of the diet fun. Unlike driving through and getting your food handed to you from a little window, you actually need to prepare all this good healthy food.  SAY WHAT!? I have to cook too?  Sigh, and truthfully, this is the point where some folks do fail. But this round chick has sworn she won't this time. ( notice the this time, I've been down this road before) This past year has shown that I can do this and for once I'm not getting bored with it. Not really, but still the cooking.  Now I love to cook, as any of those on my Twitter feed can tell you. It's often a oh look, she posted her dinner (AGAIN!!)  I know it's silly but it actually helps me keep on track. Seeing what I'm preparing helps me stay the course.  No pun intended. Lol so yes us fat people eat all the same things, but we are more selective because we have to be. Gone are the days of going to a diner at 4 in the morning after a night of partying. It happens occasionally now, sure it does. But oh man, do you feel it more.
     I will spare you pics of what I've been cooking, sorry to those who have not been so fortunate. LMAO  oh and for the record, I drink occasionally, I eat sweets occasionally, I eat bread ( early in the day only) and yes I eat candy also. It's sugar free candy, which if you eat too much, it makes you poop. I try never to eat too much. 😉
     So there ya have it peeps. I'm no different than any of you, yet I'm often singled out. Is that fair? No but that's life.  I'm going to be the best I can be because hell, if people are going to loom at me, I'm going to give them something to look at.  A new tattoo is in the works also. Next few months me thinks. 😀. Ciao for now

Second 2014 Blog Thoughts

     Well was hoping to get some stuff done today. I was told to relax now that I'm home from hospital. So I figured what harm could I cause going to the store? Wow was I wrong. As I mentioned to my friend, I was literally sitting in my car, trying to catch my breath. I felt fine! I really did, but my body thought it best to remind me if the warning to take it slow. I felt like crap the rest if the night. Hubs was a sweetie though. He cleared the table after dinner and even set up and ran the dishwasher.
     So I had planned on making a lovely glazed salmon dinner, the reason I went to the store. ( to get the salmon) but it has a few steps that I just was not up to doing so dinner was a simple hamburger, spinach prepped with fresh garlic & spices, beans and a huge salad. Also avocado slices, which I truly enjoy on my burger.

Simple meal, but I'm feeling stronger today,  so tonight we feast on salmon. Lmao. I am dork I know
     Last night I couldn't sleep. Lots on my mind plus damn leg cramps! So I walked them off, only to have another set about an hour later in the other leg. {rolling my eyes}  I tell you, I am so getting back to my gym routine. I have to wait a week or so, but hell the circuit isn't that taxing, the machines do most of the work. I just may have to forgo the rope weight pull. Treadmill will be slow I know but we will see. My Up band has no charge, I can't find my cable. 😞 but it's the doing that counts. I'm back to recording my meals also. I find that for me personally it helps a great deal. As long as I'm honest. I was taking in 1310 calories a day, but for some reason when I synced my Up band, the website "My Fitness Pal" lowered me to 1200 and change. No biggie really but I wonder why. All for the greater good though, right. I like being able to walk further without getting out of breath ( not NOW of course lol) and I like the smaller size I am wearing. But if anything the main reason is too get fit. I am borderline high blood pressure. I do not want to take medicine for this during my lifetime. Nor do I want to become diabetic. Kind of surprised I'm not, but I'm watching my sweets carefully for awhile now. Admittedly, I was not always as good as I should have been over the holidays. Clothes all still fit but I'd like them to now get bigger on me.
      I have 2 friends who are quitting smoking this month. I wish them well. I know it is a hard thing to give up. I've been told by a person I used to work with, it was the hardest thing he ever did. It's  one thing I never really got into. I did for about a month, back when I started college. I was 18 and my friend and I would go hang out between classes. One thing lead to another and I found myself smoking. It didn't take and after a month or so, I just stopped. Now put something sweet I front of me and damn, watch me go. Hahaha. We all have our weakness, sweets are mine. OH - And bread. Fuck I can do some damage to bread. To Hell with the meal. Give me some cocktails, and hot crusty bread, with a dipping oil and I am all set! (Wipes drool off keyboard)
WHY IS ALL THE GOOD STUF BAD FOR YOU?!  Or is it? I don't think so. What's bad is no control on how much you have of it.  See I'm like this with other things too. They don't show on me though. Lol I listen to music as much as possible. I also love sex. I could have it everyday, one way or another and never tire of it! I love theater and art. Planning a trip into DC with a friend at work to hit up the museums very soon. So many things to feast on in this world. I plan on devouring England later this year! Staying with friends also, which makes it so much better. Hey look, I'm on my second
blog of the new year and it's the first time I mentioned England! See I'm not obsessed about it. 😜😉
    Well peeps, I'm going to do a bit of light housecleaning, as it snowed last night (did I mention that?) and it's much warmer in here than outside. I love snow though, and would play in it in a heartbeat, if I wasn't afraid of a relapse. I was also threatened ( and promised) with an ass kicking if I didn't heed the doctors advice (😘 thank you dear) so I'm out of here, but I'll be back. So I will say, ciao for now.

I'm Back Home

     Well peeps, Happy New Year to you all. Here's to a great 2014.  Super short blog tonight, I just got back from a very unexpected hospital stay. Yes indeed, herself was diagnosed with pneumonia Sunday night, and admitted to her own room that very night. What fun! NOT!  I am now home but with another week of rest before I can go back in to work. So I got to watch the ball drop in New York's Times Square from my hospital room, with hubs by my side. They allowed people to stay which was nice. They even gave us a snack, lol. Oh it was cute, they came to take vital signs and handed me a lunch bag. Inside were 4 squares of honey graham crackers, some peanut butter, and a small container of skim milk. I shared mine with hubs. Watching the TV, I saw Miley Cyrus was present, at the festivities in Manhattan, although I give her props for having a brunette midget dressed in gold lame singing with her, I was also quite relieved she opted NOT to ride the new year's ball down. LMAO
     So I am home and trying to rest, but of course I'm online looking at cool recipes to cook. I am in the mood to bake bread. I find kneading the dough very therapeutic. I am also going through my own recipes modifying the sodium levels as I found that my blood pressure is still on a touch high side. I'm losing weight yes, but I'm not going to be taken down by something I can so easily control. I have cut it back already as I have found the market near me has such great fresh herbs. I went online and downloaded an herb book to use while cooking. Hubs is doing a huge project with the storeroom that started with having to install a hot water heater. 2014 IS going to be a good year for our home as well is seems. Since he is doing all this and he gets tired, I figure the least I can do is make some special things since I am home for a few days. I'm very old school that way, just how I was raised. Grandma especially told me always take care of your man. Lol yep Grandma. She always said we each have parts in relationships, they can switch but the basic fact is this. If both people think of the other person first, it will always work. I admit I can be selfish, in that I love to be watching tv at night and be brought in a cup of tea. But I do it back, like making something special, or drawing a bath. Or just giving needed space. I'm not always right, as a matter of fact, I have shitty timing, but I try. Hehehe
I think I would have been such a great 1950's housewife. BWAHAHAHA
      Wow, my first tangent of 2014! EPIC!! 😊 anyway peeps I'm out of here, so as I end my first blog of the new year. I wish you all, as always, ciao for now.