Sunday Special

     It's been a brutal few days at work. More times than not,  my thoughts this week have been " I don't get paid enough to handle this shit!"   Seriously, I got so upset this week, I could feel tears forming. Not from sadness but from anger. People just felt it was their right to belittle me, the company, our policies all because they did not go into open enrollment. They did not see the new  attestations there, therefore they did not fill them out, and subsequently are paying money they had no idea they had to pay. I was threatened today, that they would speak with my manager since I couldn't give them an answer. I gave them an answer they didn't like. I wish they spoke to my manager, they would have hated her answer even more. Her and I had a great chat after one particular woman, who called not once, not twice, but three times in one day. Wasn't it Einstein who said, doing the same thing and expecting a different response is crazy? Well something like that. Well she was. Oh I love my manager, we chatted over lunch salads. It's so odd in one year, how things change. I was semi on her level a year ago, as a supervisor in the same company as I am in now. I am now just a phone customer rep. I am back to being tethered to a phone, my freedoms of private calls and my own time are now gone. It's all good I suppose. I am working, I do like the people I work with. I just hate being so monitored. Not that I don't do work, I'm a damn good worker, but it's days like the past few that I truly wish I had my supervisor position back so I could be a bit more forceful in my tone with these people calling in. See to them I am nobody, I am their scapegoat. It's par for the course but occasionally it just gets to you. Especially when you spend a half hour on the phone with a person making almost 300,000 a year and you figure out what they can't. For the most part, they are happy with you for helping them, but damn, it says something that I have enough of a brain to figure out something I know only a little about, before they, who supposedly are trained and have degrees can. You know I just realized, Sunday will be one year that I was laid off from that position. There is no middle management any longer in the division I work in. Happy Anniversary to me, but I am working, with benefits, so it could be worse, much worse. I do appreciate what I have.
      That's the key though, appreciate what you have, because at anytime it all can be gone. I don't have tons of cash, and I buy generic sometimes, but I have a home, a loving husband, dear friends, those in my life who I trust WITH my life.  I have tasted exquisite though, enjoyed finer things, been to the theater, museums, sprayed my wrist with expensive perfumes. I treasure all of those experiences, I remember every iota. I often sit and remind myself that those times were treasured gifts given to me by those I love, those that wanted to show their love and caring with me, then I look around, life is then so beautiful. My life and loves are good, and I appreciate all the extras so much my heart could burst. No I'm not going to start singing " What a wonderful world" lmao but it is wonderful, even with the daily bullshit that can make you forget sometimes.
      Ah Sunday is a big day, no not my anniversary of being made redundant, but because it's , Imbolc. Or Candlemas, and yes even Groundhogs Day heehee. As a Wiccan I will celebrate the return of the sun. Looking through the snow to what lies underneath. The earth getting ready for Spring. Even though it seems far away, it will be here soon. I have seen it already. Where it was so dark when I left work in these past few months, lately I've noticed a glimmer of light in the west, as if the daylight is holding on just a tad longer.  Sunday I will light candles and make offerings to Bridgid, Goddess of the hearth. Nurturer, who feeds us from her cauldron. In ancient times people would use this feast to make their candles for the year. It's a tine of illumination. After twilight, when it's dark, turn on lights in every room of the house. Even for a few minutes, while the house is all aglow, imagine the warmth returning, the warmth of your home itself and the warmth of those you love. Let it all warm you from inside out. I will make cinnamon rolls, cinnamon being one of the spices to eat on this sabbath. Spicy foods and curries work well too. Peppers, onions, garlic, wake up your mouth. So a spicy stir fry will be dinner for this witch Sunday night. I made myself an oath to be better at following my path. This is where the Goddess is most forgiving. I need no confessions, no sacrifices to prove I mean it. Just the desire in my heart to be better and remember her in all I do. Nature doesn't excommunicate you, as each step outside is constant renewal of faith, and every breath of air is a baptism.
      Oh I do go on don't I? I am passionate about it I suppose, and when I care about something, I don't do it small. ( much to the sometimes pained smiles of close friends lol)
       I gave bitched, moaned, complained, felt melancholy, been joyful and been a bit mental in this blog so I think I will call it a night. 😊. I will write more in the days to come. I just haven't been myself getting over this stupid pneumonia, but I am headed to the gym tomorrow evening after work to (slowly) get back on track. So I say goodnight, and as always, ciao for now. 😚