Whats Love Got to Do With It?

     I think the hardest thing in the world is loving someone. Its also the easiest. Its a mirror effect of sorts. When you're in love, you cry when you are happy, and you cry when you are sad. The most unsettling crying is when you are crying because you are happy for someone, but sad for yourself.
  
It is like that quote:  How perfectly draining to, at the same time, always feel like far too much, and yet never quite enough.

Yep, I've loved the wrong people,at the wrong time, the right people at the wrong time, the right people at the right time and the right people without them knowing it.
But I regret none of it, its who I am. I still know love, from my spouse, from my family, and from my dear friends.
Let me lay another one on you. Basically it states that nothing is forever. BUT things change (or evolve)
“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.”
― W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge 
This is a great book, I recommend it.  

When the subject is love, my feelings and emotions have definitely switched. Found the needed balance so to speak, and its even better than before, its deep and real, makes you feel good, not sad. Ive also learned to love additions to my life, and if you truly love someone, it stays with you and lives in your heart, and you are better for it.
Love will change, because if love is ANYTHING; it's adaptable! 

  

So What Will It Be

Okay I'm down 17 pounds in just under 2 months. I wanted more but my meds hinder it I'm told. Okay month is not over yet so I'm hoping to round it out to 20. (or a little more) it's okay as I'm not racing anyone. Thing is on a website I am on one woman dropped 185 pounds. Now of course I'm not planning on losing that but still, the excess skin she showed was a bit troubling. Now first off, major kudos to her. That dedication is fabulous. Now another woman dropped 124 pounds and her excess skin was no where near this other woman's. As a matter of fact she didn't have much at all.  The first woman is going to have surgery and she says it's not as expensive as it used to be and good drs will help you with a payment plan. My wonder is will I need this done, will I be like the second woman as my total loss will be similar to hers? I don't know, I wish I could tell. My Dr says checking me that she tends to think  I will be like the second woman.  I don't know. I mean it's about a year away but a year goes fast. I guess I just need to wait and see. It's just one of those things you don't always see, its something to think about. These women did incredible. So on this subject, check back with me this time next year. Lol
     As for my other main issue, work! I'm still looking. I hate the entire process. Either I have lots of good offerings or nothing much. So far this week it's nothing much. Send sone good luck.
     Lastly. Happy Summer if you live in the northern hemisphere and Happy Winter if you're in the Southern.
Just some thoughts before bed.  Kettle is on the boil so I'm going to brew some tea. Enjoy the night (or morning lol) Ciao for now

Live Life To The Fullest

So weird to write this.  I'm so deep in contemplation but I needed to share.  Nothing on this piece of rock we call Earth is promised. So nothing should ever be taken for granted.  I'm lucky to have several friends I hold dear in my heart. A husband I love and my dad is still here as well.  I've had health issues, stent, uterine cancer, weird fucking leg infection. My friends have had their share as well.  Now in between all this, life happens. My mind is on my friend in England who got the bad news his organs were starting to shut down.  Well seems he went through it and got married yesterday. I was thrilled to hear it, the photos were nice yet I could see the strain in his eyes. Today his sister contacted me to say that he had a heart attack again and is back in hospital.  No idea what's going to happen. Will he have a newlywed widow and I certainly hope not.  I hope he at least gets to the holidays. As sad as this makes me I have to smile because he is living his life. He knows he's fading yet he got married. He wanted to live his life and not give in.  I applaud this. Life is to be lived and cherished and enjoyed. So my friends and those reading.  Live your lives to the greatest extent of your beings. Fuck the naysayers. That's it.  Lol. Ciao for now.