Ah Carbs, You Sneaky Bastards lol

     Been good all week. Today though was a bit of higher than normal carbs, and was it cake? NO Was it muffins? NO Was it bread? NO! It was BANANAS. Sneaky bastards, I had one as a morning snack, then I had one for dessert tonight. Wasn't feeling fantastic this afternoon, so I had Greek yogurt and fresh raspberries for dinner, all was well. I was full and felt better. Hubs decided to fix himself some beef hot dogs, and I like a good wiener now & then (hey hey keep it clean. Lmao), but the thought of it almost made me want to hurl. But I got peckish around 9 so I ate the damn banana. Still came in at just about 1000 calories, under my goal of 1200 , but not too far under as to make my body hold onto the weight. So I'm cool with it.
     I'm loving the onset of summer. NOT for the heat that comes with humidity, but for the fruits and produce I'm starting to see in the stores. I adore berries and peaches, plums, citrus of all types. Watermelon whispers sweet nothings to me and I must answer. I could forgo meats and just eat fruits and veg all summer. But I know I am not schooled in being a proper vegetarian, so I would not get near enough nutrients I need so I will have eggs, and meats too. Then there is the wonder of it being too hot to cook. My mom went through this when I was growing up. I don't really have that issue here as our home has central air, but in NY, as a child and into my teens, the summer meant cooking on the grill outside, or stovetop meals. Mom was clever and if she knew she was going to cook it happened on weekends very early in the morning or late at night. Then she would freeze the food and serve it after it thawed and was heated, yep, on the stovetop. Her meatloaf, well she would slice it, then simmer it in brown gravy. She even had a dessert recipe that was from when she was a girl. She called it ice box cake. I've seen it still with added tweaks that call it eclair cake. But I prefer it in it's original simple form. You basically cook Jello chocolate pudding (on the stovetop hehe) the you take a 9x13 pan and line the bottom with graham crackers. I suppose if you can't find them, you could use digestives or something similar. But the graham crackers taste the best. Then after you line the bottom of the pan with the crackers, you pour the pudding over them, then another layer do graham crackers, then pudding, and so on until done, ending with the graham crackers on top. Put it in the fridge for about 5 hours and the magic happens. The crackers soften and caress the pudding into a cool creamy lovely dessert. Mom would whip up some heavy cream with a tough of sugar and dollop it on the squares she would serve up. Simple and delicious. I would think if you used sugar free or low sugar graham crackers and sugar free jello it could be made as a low calorie dessert. Hmmmm, may look into it. BWAHAHA  I have a voracious sweet tooth, I'm trying so hard to curb it, so far okay, but god damn it it's hard. Eye on the prize right? Ack!!
      Had a wack- a- doodle on the phone this afternoon. She started screaming at me and wouldn't tell me her name or I'd number, nothing. She kept asking me why I needed those? I told her it's for her own security, if I can't verify who she is then I would be giving out information to a person who may or may not be her. It's the Schrödinger's cat of employees. Sheesh, she got so volatile I actually put her on hold and went to my director. He agreed to take the call of course, almost 45 minutes later he came to me and said I owe him while he was laughing. I think a drink was really what he needed. It happens I guess. Over 80,000 employees plus retired and gone ones. I should be grateful it doesn't happen more.
     Well peeps I'm heading to bed as it's just past the witching hour and this witch needs some rest. So I will say yet again, ciao for now.

Well Hello Tuesday Masquerading As Monday

     Well how do peeps. Yes it's the first day back after a long weekend, and all things considered, today was a very decent day.  It went really fast too. I was excited that my Tupperware order came in today. WOW,  that sounds even more lame when seeing that in print. LMAO I mean  I can now microwave eggs for breakfast, part of my plan. 😊
      Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath, and remember all you have. You know I am a frustrated poet/writer. I've been working on a story for my friend's daughter. Kind of a trade off. She is going to draw me a piece of art for me to hang in my NY bedroom, and I was to write her a story. I started it, and got about halfway done. I kind of painted myself into a corner with the tale and it's been harder than completing a Rubick's Cube to get myself unstuck! Fuck me, but I will get that cool twist and finish, just hasn't knocked on my minds door and walked inside yet.  I should get myself a journal of sorts and carry it with me. Oddly enough I do have the app notes on my phone, but it doesn't seem the same as a cool old fashioned bound journal. Pen to paper, old school, the way they used to do it. I envision the likes of Yeats, or Thoreau, sitting and looking out at the surroundings and words coming into mind, then onto paper. Filling this tome, this collection of thoughts copied onto pages, to keep, to cross out and re-write. Yes one day I will wander into a store and purchase a proper journal.
      Expect lies, but be truthful
      Know there is sorrow, but share joy
    Silly little lines like those just often pop I to my mind. So fucking profound, I am. I'm sure one day my red shoe story will be told in front of fireplaces. A modern Aesop she fancied herself, they will say, as they repeat my little tale. Wait, you've not heard it? Oh peeps, gather round and listen to this.
" I had been in a store with friends, feeling a bit of a clunky cog in a otherwise smooth gear. Well we ended up in the shoe department. We were drawn to all the beautiful shoes, heels, wedges, all colors and materials. Then I notice off to the side a funky little pair of red shoes, not really shoes, more of a cross between an oxford and a hi top sneaker ( or trainers if you will). As you can guess, they were nothing to look at, but I felt drawn to them. I asked to see them in my size and yes, I bought them! They were my go to shoe. They were comfortable, they fit me well and they were sturdy on all terrains. Then I said out aloud one day that I wanted to be like my shoes. My friends thought I was crazy, of course yes I am in a way, but not in this. Here was a pair of shoes that I'm sure were overlooked by many people. But given a chance, they turned out to be fantastic. They didn't hurt my feet , they were dependable, and they were actually cute, even though initially you may not have seen it. I said oh to be a little red shoe, and surprise everyone!" End of the tale. I know it's very Ugly Ducklingish, but I never said it was an original thought. LMAO.  See I need to come up with original things
     Why am I so awake at half 12 in the morning. I will pay for this I know. I will have to use my concealer from Yves St. Lourant (sp?). I also have, for under my eyes, a de puffer.  How I wish they made a huge version that I could roll over my body to de puff. Hahaha, yeah if only.  I took off my make up and brushed my teeth. I applied my moisturizer, then took a good look in the mirror. I liked what I saw. I looked okay, shiny, but okay. Actually I looked better than okay, I looked like me!
Ciao for now peeps. :-}

And That Quickly It Over

     Tomorrow is back to the grind and it's been a good weekend. I'm a bit tired so I'm headed to bed, but I will be back tomorrow night. It was a driving, good conversations, good eats kind of weekend. Details and more thoughts to come.  Oooh on the edge of your seats I betcha.  LMAO. So ciao for now peeps

And I Ran ......

      With my director - at work - today!! Lmao. I was coming from one section of the office and he was approaching from the other and then we met up and I said, " come on Jose, let's run" so we sprinted off towards the end of the office. My manager was starring wide eyed. Number one - I was running in the office and number two - Jose was acting silly. Running, me! What the hell came over me. I just blurted it out and he ran, I tend to make him laugh.  I'm sometimes goofy and I guess people get amused. I like that actually, I enjoy making people smile. Lots of youngins at work and they love to talk about the Eighties and Nineties. I bring in candy and often bake on the weekends. I have been known to bring brownies and cookies. So mama Mary comes out. It's comfortable, and like I said they are happy with me. Just want another position where I'm not on the phone all the time. I'm starting an excel class soon offered by our work. It's in one of our systems that list classes and they are free, so why not. I know very basic excel, but I want to learn all of it, spread sheets, power point , etc. it's free, I'm stupid not to take advantage of it.
      Well I've been looking at getting some nice fat girl clothes. I have some decent new blouses but I want some dresses. I have my eye on a few shoes, in bone, black and print. Now shoes aren't cheap, not decent ones anyway. Bigger size clothes can be really expensive. I was turned onto this site called Gwynnie Be.  Basically you pay a yearly fee and you can get outfits from dozens of stores. Now you wear these then return them. If you like them, you can buy them at a discount cost. I was looking at the dresses and tops/bottoms, they have some amazing things. They wash them and get them ready to wear again. So I'm thinking of trying it. There is one place called Igigi, they have stunning outfits but not cheap. $108 is a dress minimum. Using this service I can try them and see the fit and comfort. Game plan on for the long weekend.
     Yes speaking of the long weekend. Here in the US it's Memorial Day. A day of remembrance for those who gave their lives in service of our country. Oh a throwback to the last paragraph. I found a pair of walkers on the Tom's shoes website, kind of espadrilles bottoms with canvas body with a stressed American flag motif. So cool. Want for the 4th of July hehehe. Also want to get a few odds
and ends at a store called Home Goods. They have...um...home goods. Lmao
      Oh sitting here in my bedroom, sitting semi crossed leg on my bed, kitty snoozing near me, hubs is is in the computer room across the hall. I'm burning a Yankee Candle, the scent is beach plum. It is my all time favorite scent of theirs. They have limited supply on their website, but it transports me to Long Island.  The beach, not the busy commercial ones, but the ones you find out in the Hamptons, or Montauk. Cape Cod houses in slate blues with white shutters, very serene. Calm breeze, surf in the back and along the beaches the scent of beach plums in the air. I adore it. They are found in said Cape Cod and Massachusetts coastline also. It just amazes how a scent can calm me, makes me want to feel sand on my toes. 😀 beach plums are more like a blueberry. Similar taste, but the flowers, oh the scent is divine.
      Well one more day, then nothing to do for 3 blistfull days. Gym is one of them for a few hours, but then FREEDOM!! I would love to go see the X men movie, but doubtfull. Will drop in on in-laws at some point, maybe all go grab a crab dinner. Fresh crabs at Tims. Waterside, nice views, hot fresh crabs, cold Peronis. Sounds like a plan. Tim's Rivershore Restaurant and Crabhouse in Dumfries VA. Check it out and be jealous. BWAHAHA
     It's now almost half 9, I'm putting the blog away for now. Some thoughts for the next few, but it's smelling soooooo good in here, I'm going to make a pot of tea for hubs and me, then go read the book I'm into at the moment. Love reading, have about 5 books for my summer reading all set to go. So as always, ciao for now 💋
   

Yahoo For All People

     How do you think of what to blog about? Sometimes you just can't, which is why I'm doing it so infrequently as of late. For this I say sorry, and also thank you for checking in again peeps.
      Well today I felt I had to take a stand on Facebook of all places. You see as a fat girl I've dealt with stares, cruel words, and taunting by strangers. Look, I'm as human as the next person, and on occasion I have laughed at a photo or words that tease overweight people. Like the dog under the fat ladies chair that looks very nervous. Okay that's funny, I can appreciate it and smiled and I will kid about pics saying where did you get my picture? Lol of course theses are often posted by people I know, and no harm meant but it's funny that a post was done today in the opposite way. A chubby girl was holding a sign against thin people. Interesting to see the other died of the issue. To me it was just as bad as saying something against a fat person. See thing is, people are fucking people. Seems that everyone has their "thing"! Who feels fat, who thinks they are not pretty, too short, too tall. Media makes you feel like you will never attain perfection. Of course you won't no one is!! Getting to my point, what upset me were the comments. Some were purposely hurtful. Why, why do people hide behind the internet and shout out such remarks that can make you, in a weak moment, get chocked up ?  I felt I needed to reaffirm, that I am me, this is what I look like, this is who I am and I make no apologies for it.  Don't like me, well I don't care.  It just makes me sad that people still feel the need to tear down to make them feel good.   Fat and fabulous plus sexy as fuck= ME!! Lol
     I'm pleased peeps, I got a really good review at work. They were telling me how happy they ate I work there. My director and manager both said personally and professionally they are glad. It felt good, I won't lie. I often wondered if they were glad I was back or did they regret their choice. So now I know.  I admit though, I hate that I am tethered to a phone. I miss being able to take calls when I got one. I have had times when I had to leave a good conversation with good friends to start work. Hopefully one day soon I won't have to do that.
    I will be back tomorrow, I want to get this blog going again, until tomorrow I of course say, ciao For Now

So, What The Hell Was That? The Weekend Of Course.

     Well Friday was a day from hell. I woke up barely, by that I mean my head was throbbing. I don't mean headache, I'm talking ice pick through the brain, dizzy when I stand up, want to throw something across the room. So I called in, and about 4 hours later, I had hubs drive me to the doctor's.  He gave me a nasal spray that did help. So as the day progressed, I felt a bit better. By Saturday I was better and did some window shopping for backyard furniture. Hubs felt bad so he booked a room for us for the weekend AGAIN! Lol. We we had a lovely day, and I made the most awesome burgers for dinner. Truly, we experienced umami. This is a Japanese word meaning the six flavor, meaning divine. I buy extra lean beef, and often use Worcestershire sauce but didn't have any, so I used tamari instead. Along with garlic powder and minced onions, it added an amazing flavor. I was very pleased. Lmao. Then we had drinks and well the night went well. Until. The dog! Poor little pup was in the room down the hall. His owners may have went out and left the poor little pup all alone in a strange place, he started to whimper, it got louder and louder. Now hubs can't stand any animal in pain, he broke a window many years ago when someone left their dog in a car in the summer on a very hot day. No he was not arrested but the dogs owner was. Hehe. Well anyway, he was very drunk and kept going on about this poor dog, who was obviously upset. I held him tight and he was clinging so hard, he started to actually cry for the poor little dog. I must say, I felt such emotion. Well hubs fell asleep, my hair was wet from him tears. I woke up at half 5 in the morning to the dog barking as his people finally got home. I wanted to beat the shit out of them. Thankfully hubs was out like a light. So we slept in. Got up around 10, fed the hubs. Headache was back so I did some laundry, hand wash of course as we were at the hotel. I went for a walk, then came in to marinate dinner and bake cookies for work.  So as you can see the weekend was BORING for reading about. Work today started oh so fun, as I was not there Friday I could not change my password as we were instructed, so it took 2 hours on hold with tech, so started work at 11 today, but the day went okay. It's been a boring weekend, but I did get in a nice walk, and pup aside a calm enjoyable time, even caught a film. "Saving Mr. Banks". Good movie, check it out.
      So sometimes even boring is welcome. Hope you all had a good weekend peeps. Ciao for now.

Mom I love you!

Mom, you taught me to be independent, that being my own person was important and to speak my thoughts even if I was afraid of not being liked because of them. You taught me that true beauty was how you treated others, but the right lipstick shade could change your entire outlook on life. If you helped someone, you did it out of love and caring, and not what you could get for it. You were beautiful, you loved unconditionally.You taught me how to cook, you loved to share your culinary skills, you taught me the "right" way to iron a shirt. You also bought me my first amaretto sour. LOL I just wish I had more time with you as a married woman. To show you that I had listened to all your words. Happy Mother's Day Mom. I miss you every day, I hear your words in my head so very often, and I will love you until my last breath.

Tidbits

     Well let's see
It was very hot today - no like - too soon
Down a size in panties
Bra is the same. Good don't want the girls getting smaller
Had some pizza for dinner, had a craving. Didn't eat much. Yay for me
Man, it feels good taking a shower the laying on the bed totally starkers with the fan on.
Day went smoothly, but very busy
Quite tired, going to bed
Ciao for now

Back in VA

     As always, I feel wanting when I get back from NY. I just miss it so.  Had good chats with Dad though, took pics of old pics he has. Put them on Facebook in an album I have there. He told me that when he was about 16 he and his friends all went to Coney Island. He asked a girl if she wanted to go for a ride in the tunnel of love. She said sure, but not with YOU! He got all upset he said, no girl had ever turned him down. (Holy shit! Lmfao) he asked why and she said I've heard all about you.  Oh god, dad was a player! I was crying, never heard no from a girl. Crap, dad was the hottie of his group. It makes me laugh, and cringe a bit too. I'm more like dad than I ever knew. Hahaha
      Had fun teasing him after that. Took him for a drive in my new car. He really liked it. It said it's so roomy, and after our trip into New Jersey my friend T said that it suited me and I made a good choice. I agree with her. It's an awesome car. Her name is officially now, Tink! That suites her too, I think. I already have just hit 1000 miles. NY trip was about 746 all on it's own, as we ventured, as I said, into Jersey Saturday night. We had a really nice evening. The food was outstanding, and I fell in live with the mango peach salsa. Had some sweetness and a medium heat that was perfect. Had a soft taco then took the fillings and had it on a plate. No reason to add all the taco shell calories. Then Sunday Dad's neighbor came over. Thankfully he did not have to put his dog to sleep. The pup is responding to the medicine and the vet is hopeful.  Little pagan me is praying to St. Francis to keep the dog healthy and strong. He's a member of the family, those of you will fur babies you love can understand I'm sure.
     So today started my 60 in 6! More if I can. Gym in the am. Today was okay.  Tomorrow will be better. It helped that a co worker told me I looked like I lost weight, and an worker who used to work there, came for a visit and said I looked great.  So I have lost all the weight I gained since I started work there again so I'm happy again. Will keep you posted every now and then as it's not my main focus. It's just my life. BWAHAHA
     I did have a mini panic attack. I had printed out my E ticket for my flight, I had even taken a pic to send my England hosts but I thought I had archived the email it came on.  I did not. So I went through my drawers at my desk in a mad dash but I found it. Whew!!! It is now where I can get to it.
Dumb bunny I know.  Hubs was looking on line for me and showing me all the 3 ounce bottles so I know what to get to put my face lotions and potions in. Lol
     Not much else, few odds and ends but I'll save those. Oh goody, I hear you say to yourselves. Lmao. Well peeps, I will leave you, saying, as always, ciao for now.

New York - early Saturday

     I mean early. It's 2am, and I've been here just over an hour. My numbers were not so great on my up today as I spent 5 hours driving up to NY tonight. The new cars first big trip. She did great. Baby has lots of oomph,  and looks good. Just like her driver. Lol I was making great time then on the last leg of the journey as I was coming off the Verrazano Bridge, the traffic to the Belt Pkwy was backed up all the way to the exit on the bridge. So I was able to get out of it and I took the Brooklyn queens expressway instead. Through Brooklyn and not always top rate areas but I have driven these roads many times. Instinct took me home.
     As I lay here in bed listening to the noises outside my window, I can imagine being transported back in time to younger years. I still hear the traffic on the Grand Central Pkwy.  It's a good 2 miles away but sound travels this time of the morning. It's still a quiet block. I almost think I hear Michael's car go by. A past boyfriend. Who was a friend and still is. His mom was from England and she watched me often. So started my love affair with England. Mike would get home then take Brandy got a walk. He would wait for me to come outside. We would talk and make out and quiely laugh for hours, while Brandy just waited. She was a Dalmatian and a good girl. It was sweet and is a pleasant memory.   Mike and I have  known each other forever it seems. This room, this house, my dad! They all are slightly fading. This house needs an overhaul (hell so do I lmao) but my Dad was saying he cleans, he polishes the furniture and he cleaned the bathroom. I look around and wonder where? But he is 86. So I say nothing as I pick up the sponge and give the sink a scrub. I did the dishes he had there also. I wish I had more time to spend here. To give it all a good scrubbing. As for my dad. He's getting thinner and he seems frail. Not in the sense that he'd break if hugged to hard but in a way I can't explain. But those of you with older parents know what I mean. To the world they think themselves forever 25. Able to do it all still, but when you watch them, it seems even a tea cup
seems  heavy for them. He's got lots of fire left in him but the fireplace is looking tired. I love him dearly, he loves life, always has but again I am sensing something. Just a feeling. Not bad. Just nature.  This I can't explain. It was this way last visit too never was before. I am not sure why I'm getting this vibe. Sorry for the downer but it's almost half 2 now. I love him, he is my Da! Shaking this off now.  Busy weekend. Visit friends in their new home. Partying Cinco De Mayo style. Then a friend's little boys birthday when I get to VA tomorrow. I am not sleepy but I must try.  So have a fantastic Saturday make it a funky one. Ciao for now

A Quickie Before Work.

    Well hello peeps. A rare early blog for me. It's not even 9am yet. I'm in the parking lot at work. Today is May 1st. Beltane. A fire festival for Spring. Still celebrated with the most known tradition if the maypole. Yes a very sexy image and fitting too, as this holiday is about rebirth. Yes and sex is a part if that. It's natural and fun. Lol always on my to do list {blush} I feel recharged today. I wish that for all of you as well
     Just chillin before work starts. In my car listening to Bruno Mars. I think I may have a bit of a crush on him. But methinks I'm going to head inside and get a yogurt and tea before the day formally begins. So I'll be back tonight peeps, so until then. Ciao For Now