Masks

     Her hands reached out to caress the lace of her bodice, the candle light shimmered across the copper folds of her skirt. She looked back at herself as the mirror reflected an image she barely recognized. She had been so many different things to so many different people that she never knew which mask she would reach for. So many to choose from, she allowed herself to be picked apart day by day. So the masks became her shield, her amour, her confidence. But not today, no more would she be a prisoner of her own making. But even with that thought, she looked down and realized, without even knowing, that she had selected her shield. The mask that would transform her, allow her to interact with society. So it would not change, with a sigh she resigned herself to fate.  She heard a sound and saw him appear in the mirror behind her. He gazed at her with a look that was far to familiar. He saw through all her masks, even those she kept in her secret place. She wanted to run, but she could not bear to leave. She looked at him and he placed his hand over hers and lowered the mask. His eyes spoke to her soul and gave her courage. He silently pleaded, and she could not bear to see the raw emotion. Stripped bare of soul they stood there, eyes locked, she understood and nodded. She looked at the mirror again, her lace, her copper folds, gracefully flowing out. No armour, but soft, vulnerable, and now willing to try. His arms engulfed her, his lips kissed her, and she was alive. He was an angel sent she knew, for even as she put the candle out, the shimmer remained. It came from him and she felt it's heat sink into her. Angel or man? She was uncertain, he was as real to her as she was to herself. So a deep breath quietly left her lips. She placed her hand in his, and together they walked into the world. She felt naked without her mask, but enjoyed the feel of the sun on her skin. She turned to gaze at her man angel and laughed, a sound as joyous as bells on Christmas morning, he simply blew her a kiss. Anyone who bothered to look, saw only her flowing copper skirts as she ran towards the gardens, alone.

Facebook Can Be Really Weird

    Case in point. Today my friend put up a R.I.P. for an actor, his name was Herbert Lom. He played Charles Dreyfus, Inspector Clouseau's boss. I adore the Pink Panther movies, but I digress. Well I commented on this and another lady commented on my comment, so of course, I comment back and this went on for about 7 comments and I don't even know this woman!! LOL  I swear I will chat with anyone who is nice. Lol
     I am going to send hubs an edible fruit arrangement for our anniversary tomorrow. I have bought wine, there was a sale LOL
    I am at a loss tonight, I have been chatty and I really need to formulate my thoughts on issues I read about and discuss here at work but lately it's all the open enrollment talk.  I interviewed 3 people today and 2 are keepers for sure. I just want to stay the course, eat well as I have been and trudge to next year and my trip to England.  My friends daughter asked me if i still planned on going and when I said yes she replied that she is the happiest 11 year old ever.  I replied back I am the happiest NOT 11 year old ever. :-D   I need to step back and take a deep breath and not obsess over it. I don't know if you realize it but I can get a bit over enthusiactic, which i am sure at times is annoying. I truly do not mean to be though. Its funny, when my sister in law was pregnant with her second, she told me she couldn't wait to tell me as I would get really excited for her. The rest of the people were "Oh That's Nice" since it was her second. To me each baby is just as exciting, but again, over the top Mary strikes again. HAHA
    I want to know how others view me and compare it to how I view myself, just so I can get another's ideas. Case in point - I was a redhead for so long then someone suggested blonde. I LOVE it now. I accept constructive suggestions, I welcome them. I would love all of you who know me to suggest clothing styles as I need toget clothes and soon.  LOL
    So needy me is now ending this as I have to do a few things and I'm actually getting a headache (how different as I'm sure I've caused many! LOL)   So Ciao For Now :-D

Wax(ing) On, Wax(ing) Off

     Nights like this, when I can't seem to fall asleep, my mind wanders. Well not so much wanders, as gets on a plane and flies twice around the world, while jumping back and forth across the equater! A beautiful symphony of total chaos. I go off on more tangents than a physics lab at MIT! My life is, for better or worse, MY LIFE! I'm trying to fix things I can and come to terms with those I can not! I really was sheltered growing up. I lived in a neighborhood that although was fun and safe, also bordered slightly on the side of The Stepford Wives! White upper middle class men and women, mostly Catholic with a few Episcopalians and Methodists thrown in for diversity! It wasn't until I ventured into Manhattan did I realize what I was missing! At the tender age of 19 I found myself in Greenwich Village and Rocky Horror. Something snapped in me. It was like I broke free of some invisible chain that had held me down, not intentional, but it did. All of a sudden I was surrounded by people who experimented with drugs, sex, went clubbing, played music, acted. I was never the same again. Yes of course I experimented myself, I did things I never thought of before and no one thought ill of me. I wrote wonderful poetry stories worthy of any coffeehouse that had an open mike! I was alive and the most wonderful thing happened! I found I could have all these interests and still have my life at home. I found out that my parents loved theater, music, books. How the hell did I never notice any of it! They were never secretive about it, but I suppose I had to grow up and see them for who they were and as I did, the response I got back was different. I crossed a line and became a full person. To this day I dream like no ones business, I write poetry everyday, I sing everyday also. I am not what you would call vanilla sexually, but I can fly that freak flag AND cook you a meal that you will love! I can do all of it, mixtbe crazy and the serious and yes even the mundane! Where has this brought me? I can't say as I am not there yet! I have so much more I am going to do. I am a big tattooed somewhat naive at times big kid at heart kid of woman. I want to be someone that people will remember, even faintly. I hope this chaos that is me brings as much joy to others as I get from them.  See tangents , told ya! Well it's almost 2am and I must force myself to sleep. Hubs is snoring, meds made him sleepy. Jealous of that. Hahaha. Okay then.  Ciao peeps

Chicken Soup For A Sick Husband

     Hello all, yes you read right, the hubs is sick. I myself have been able to keep a head cold at bay with just minor sniffles and a bit stuffy head in the mornings, but hubs texted me when he got hime and said he had a fever. NOT GOOD  I can't get sick now. My company is about to start Open Enrollment in 2 1/2 weeks and it's all hands on deck!! So major doses of vitamin C, hand sanitizer and lysol wipes for desktops. I am bringing home chicken soup for dinner for both of us tonight. A place nearby makes scrumptious soup. I told him to try and rest until I got there. Poor baby, I feel so bad for him. I'm hoping he takes off tomorrow as he is already off on Friday.
     It's funny how things work sometimes. The Rolling Stones were right, "You can't alwasy get what you want...........but you get what you need!"  My dad has been asking me to come to NY and I was also invited to a party on the same weekend (Oct. 6th), now I had scheduled my hair appointment here in VA that weekend as my girl will be back from her maternity leave. So first, I couldn't get off this Friday for anniversary, weather is rain all weekend so we are not going to PA so that cleared the day on Saturday - so oddly my hair salon called and asked me if I could switch my appointment as she is back and has to do something on the 6th. So now I can get my hair done THIS Saturday, hubs and I can still do a local overnight hotel romp for our anniversary, and I get to go to NY (visit my Dad and party on next Saturday)!! Trifecta!!!  Then hubs and I are talking about PA for my birthday the weekend after, and that should work fine . Leaves should really be starting to turn by then. I am spoiled and thankful for it! 
     I really am a selfish gal tonight, I just wanted to share that info, nothing is really jumping out at me to talk about but i'm chalking that up to me feeling a bit under the weather. So I will be back tomorrow and until then Ciao For Now. 

OKAY I AM BACK FOR A MOMENT  - JUST WANTED TO SHARE
I must say this soup was rich and yummy but not as yummy as mine is. LOL See :-D

 

Okay Now I will say good night   hahaha  I'm an ass, a cute one I hope  Ciao 

 

My Cat is Fat, and other things!

     Okay, my schedule is back, as of tomorrow I am back to 11AM - 8PM. I was so out of practice getting up at 5:30 in the morning. Thing is I am awake, as hubs alarm goes off and it's kind of hard not to hear the sound since it's only on the other side of the bed. But to actually have to get up and shower, and get dressed, well after almost 2 years on the later shift, it's not always easy to do. LOL I am usually up by 7AM, but I can enjoy a nice cup of tea and have some internet browsing, maybe a call or two BEFORE having to get ready to go into work.
     As I sit here starring at my laptop trying to think of witty things to share, I'm noticing my cat trying to get off her back, and not doing a good job of it! She looks like a turtle rolling around on it's back. I laugh because I have often found myself in that same position. I gave her a neoprene pillow, and she makes a little indent for herself so she is in a hole basically, and since she enjoys her treats as much as yours truly;  she is round and not as flexible as she once was. The look on her face is priceless. She finally hoisted herself up, and is now slumbering in another odd position that only cats seem to find enjoyable. I love her, belly hang and all, what's not to love? I am loved, belly hang and all too :-D
    
     I've got poetry in me, but damn if it wants to stay just out of reach of my thoughts. When I started this blog I wrote some very funny things. Have I just gotten boring as I feel compelled to write at least a line or two every night, or have I lost my touch for the written word?  I like to think I express myself in a way that is unique to me. That's a silly sentence, as of course it's unique to me;  as I am the one saying it. But what of the style, my thoughts, phrases, what I even write about?  A friend wrote a comment yesterday (ty for that guys, I love getting them) that since I love England so much, why don't I end my blogs with Cheerio as opposed to my Ciao For Now? Simple, it doesn't sound like me. I say cheers, but not Cheerio. I used to say ciao often as my grandmother did when saying bye to relatives, so it sounds right to me. Another friend says it, and I picked it back up from him I suppose. Funny how phrases stick with you. I use NY vernacular often, and get laughs for it.  I had a yogurt for lunch the other day and I said out loud "this tastes spoiled, I'm going to chuck it!!" Someone else said that was such a NY thing to say! Is it, my NY peeps? I just used to say that as a teen and every now and again it comes out. When I moved to VA a lady I worked with always said cool beans, when something was in accord to her thinking. I now say cool beans more than I really should LOL  When I get frustrated I often say "Jesus Christmas" as an expletive, one day a friend of mine got upset and said.....you got it...Jesus Christmas. I turned around and smiled, he picked it up from me! Think about that, it's like a six degrees of phrases separation. One day a friend of his that I don't know, will out of the blue one day say Jesus Christmas. It started with me. How cool is that?? Really cool I think!! But no Cheers is not me. I do say gobsmacked a lot though, and I recently had someone say, what is going to definitely be in my phrase repertoire from now on, the saying TWATWADDLE!! OMG that is hilarious!! I love it!! Like those people who were charging $17 for a box of tea, those TWATWADDLES!  hehehe  see it's a perfect word. :-D 
      I am laughing to myself quietly at that, as hubs is sound asleep, snoring away. Unfortunately I saw the latest weather report and looks like rain is called for the entire weekend. We at first as you know from an earlier blog were going for a long weekend to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I though, can't get the day off Friday so it changed to an overnight Saturday in Pennsylvania. But now it says rain for all 3 days. I wanted to go apple picking and enjoy the changing leaves. Now I am not sure what we are going to do. It will be 16 years married, this year. I met him October of 1994, married September 1996. I have told this story and so to some of you it's not new, but we had a 240 mile blind date. I met him through my work, I worked customer service at an envelope manufacturer and he worked for a printing company who bought our envelopes. I was his sales rep. LOL Yep we talked on the phone all the time and he asked if he could call me at home. I said yes, and the rest is history. He asked what I looked like, I said Winnie the Pooh with red hair. So when I met him he handed me a present. When I opened it, I saw a red tee shirt. He said Winnie the Pooh wears a red tee shirt. I then asked where the pants were? He replied (with a twinkle in his eye), Winnie the Pooh doesn't wear pants ;-)  Great answer!! LOL  Still makes me smile. 
     Cat just repositioned herself, and has both paws over her eyes. I guess the light bothers her, little furry princess! hahaha Well I think I am going to reposition myself as well into a sleeping position, as I notice that it's now almost half past midnight. So I will say, just this one time, Cheerio!!!
    

If You Haven't Read Yesterday's - You Should Now

     I am really not in the mood to blog, I thought I was but I'm truly not. I feel beaten down tonight, just a bad day, for no real reason. Just little things that added up. It's me I work early tomorrow also and things hopefully will be better. So I am going to bed and hopefully sleep soon after. So until tomorrow night, I say Ciao For Now

It's Fall Y'all

     Happy Autumn, everyone. In the Northern Hemisphere that is. It makes me want to sing the song "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" :-P  I love almost everything about this season. It's time to open the windows and let the cool air in to circulate through a home that for months had central air conditioning running. It's a time when I like to clean, yes you heard right. haha  Most people do "spring cleaning" but for me this is the time I enjoy it most.  It's the turning of the Wheel Of The Year and us Wiccan folk celebrate the holiday Mabon. This is another harvest festival (we love those don't we LOL). It is the time of gathering and preparation for the coming winter months ahead. Mayhaps that's why I like to clean during this season.  It's a prep time for the days when we tend to stay in more, not venture out into the very cold. Now is cool mornings and warm days, the earth is still pliable to plant the late veggies that will sustain us threw the darker days. Winter wheat, cabbages, peas & turnips to name a few.  The Druids call this holiday celebration, Mea'n Fo'mhair, and honor the The Green Man, the God of the Forest, by offering libations to trees. Offerings of ciders, wines, herbs and fertilizer are appropriate at this time. Wiccans celebrate the aging Goddess as she passes from Mother to Crone, and her consort the God as he prepares for death and re-birth. As Samhain (Halloween to all ) is the New Year, this festival is more or less a celebration of completion. We celebrate achievements and make ready for new things to start. As the God will lay down his life and be reborn so will we, as we ride the wave of the earth and the season. What was that song from the sixties? "To everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn turn turn."  This is so true. Like everything living, we must ride the flow of the seasons and celebrate each in its own time.
     A Mabon Pagan alter will be decorated possibly with, sheaths of wheat, corn, gourds, possibly a pomegranate (although that I tend to use those for Samahin).  Candle colors of gold, red, orange, burgundy, these again are shared with Samhain. You may also find, sage, apples, marigold, ivy, acorns and so many other things. Just as a witches Book Of Shadows is unique to themselves or covens, alters as well, take on a personal tastes.  Before a ritual it is not unusual to go for a walk in the woods or a park to take time to look at the trees, and leaves, to enjoy the sun while cool breezes blow.  I have had such an alter in the past and I will again. I myself celebrated, enjoyed some harvest wine, apples, and wheat bread. Said a few prayers for those I love and reflected on my life as my years are turning, a little too quick it seems at times. LOL  
     NOW A TOTAL NON SEQUITER, LOVE DOING THIS! HAHAHA
    I went for a ride today with the hubs and we went to this place I found out in a town called Aldie named "The British Pantry"  I had high hopes as they carry English teas and I feel guilty sometimes relying on my friend for my "FIX". Well, they carry, (ALL IMPORTED from ENGLAND), Yorkshire Gold Loose tea (at $21.00 a 8 ounce bag), Twinings assorted Earl Grey teas that I have been interested in (at $15.00 a box of 16), the 50 box of Twinings teas (darjeeling, assam, etc., for a steal at $17.00 a box) I couldn't believe my eyes. Were they intoxicated when they priced these out!! So much for being the purchaser of these imported teas. BOO!!! Bad Form British Pantry, shame on you!! So much for that! Back to begging for my fix. :-D
     This weekend was pretty basic, grocery shopping, laundry, etc.  I did purchase some new toiletries, the company is called Fresh and they make some very nice items. I bought a bath bar that is an exfoiliator as my skin is getting dry already and I see little spots that need a loofa, so hopefully the soap will be more gentle on my skin as I am such a delicate creature.  HEHE 
     I have to tell you what just this second went on. Hubs showed me a pic of me from the night we met almost 18 years ago, and pulled me over to kiss me. When done he told me to go finish my blog as my tapping on the keys keeps him up. I said I was pretty much done and it was about Mabon, did he want to hear it? He had reached out to me in the meantime and said "I have a nipple in my fingers, that beats Mabon any day!!!"  So one and all, methinks thisis a good time to say Ciao For Now  ;-P

I've Noticed

     Since I'm going back to the gym and getting back on track, I walk faster around the office. I get winded because hey;  I'm a big gal, and walking is not my forte since I started driving. LOL  BUT I'm getting better. I try to walk a little slower but I can't. I think since my legs are so short (24 in inseam) I always needed to catch up to others so I walked fast and now I just do! Think is I still have the pinched nerve that is slowing me down as its causing pain in my right side so it can hurt when I walk, but muddle through the pain right?  I try I really do! It's been so lovely out that the last few days I have been going out and walking my buildings circumference.  Just trying to do everyday little things as well as the gym. PLUS now I have lost 5 pounds this week and I am once again below the weight I lost, so I dropped all the weight I  gained and now Im losing again!  YES!! I am behind as I was hoping to be at least another 25 or 30 pounds since February but I had the set back then a platau that you would need horses to ride across. That has now changed again and my body is eady to lose more. I am ready to lose more. Once again my clothes are hanging on me.  I'm pleased, maybe more than I should be, but peeps, home life was extremely stressful and the fact I only gained perhaps about 10 pounds, all toll back is amazing.  It's so hard for me. I love to cook, I love sweets, I love to bake and I have to get the old habits to leave me. I am lonely and I admit food can be a friend at times. I really couldn't talk about home with anyone and the one person I needed to talk with finally talked so I think that was a huge help. I feel like a weight was lifted from me. So now I can once again concentrate on myself. With love towards my hubs and what will be.  I have to interject an amusing (to me ) story.  Oreo's have come out with a Halloween cookie. it's the vanilla creme sandwich cookies but the filling is candy corn. Now I haven't had it in at least 3 years but I love candy corn, nothing good in it at all, just sugar and more sugar but it tastes so good. Well I wanted to try these, I bought a bag and had one. I took a bite and spit it out!!! YUCK - it was so damn sweet!! I hated it! Brought the bag into work where it was devoured. I have not lost my taste for sweets but I've noticed I don't like things as sweet as I once did.  I am not having any cookies but if I were to have one, it would be a Jammy Dodger or a Garibaldi (yes I finally had one of those) they are very good and not overly sweet. 
     Okay I have rambled on about myself and my revitalized awareness, and sounding much akin to a little dog yapping for attention. Bringing this down a little, I want to say that today would have been my Mom's birthday if she was alive. I miss her all the time, and I spent some time today reflecting on my relationship with her. She was strict, but kind and fair. She taught me independance and self worth. That I could do whatever I set my mind to, but I wasnt special, so dont expect things handed to me. Work hard, love hard, play hard summed her up. She and I used to do weekend trips that were so much fun.  She bought me my first ameretto sour and we got drunk that night. She had just come off of chemo and it was wonderfull to see her so alive!!  She was awesome, so Happy Birthday Mom!!   For all of you I end this here, Ciao For Now

Hump Day, They Lie!!

    Wednesday is hump day but I would think most people have sex on the weekends. LOL  That's a old joke and of course I know why Wednesday is called hump day but it still makes me giggle. LOL
     Howdy boys and girls, I do hope everyone is doing well. To those who are not, I hope your troubles are shortlived and all is right as rain soon. 
     I am in a decent mood and the weather today was perfect fat girl weather. Low humidity, and at 3PM it was 69 degrees. hehe  I love this time of year. I am geting ready for Mabon. Oh look another of herself's pagan festivals. It's a harvest festival and I love it. The alters I have had in the past were decorated with spectacular autumn colors of reds, gold and yellows. Candles and pumpkins and pomagranites abounded. As usual for me I will be celebrating solo, I have my bottle of hard apple cider and I have my candles and my bohdran (bore-ann) to play. It's a hard time for me as well because the next holiday Samhain or as most call it halloweeen is a New Years celebration and we honor our dead. Both my mother and my hubs mother were born in September so I always remember them in my Mabon ritual. Mabon is a celebration of the harvest and also the time to make note that the earth is getting ready to sleep.  I think thats what effects me on occason, I get a hint of, not sadness but, a kind of longing.  yea yea I know I do that anyway  LOL but I will get very teary for no reason. I miss people more, my thoughts can get darker. OOH aren't I the mysterious one? lol 
     I am writing something that i will put on here soon. OOH speaking of writing , I read something today that was posted , it was a husbands view of sex. It was beautiful, heartfelt and raw. i read it several times over and I so enjoyed it.  I swear there are so many talented people in the world and I love seeing the "average guy" write something so powerful. or listen to an orifginal piece of music, or a recipe. Its faith restoring that we are not becoming robots that we still can express ourselves. I am angered when my government wants to ban things for our good. No they just come across as bullies in a schoolyard. I am in fear of our next president, I am concerned for my country.   Wow can I go off on a tanget or what?! HAHAHA
So i wil end here peeps and i will say as always Ciao For Now

Afternoon Break

     I am at work and taking a little time to relax. It's been hectic with all the new employees now at their desks and taking calls . There are some that will need a little help, but on the whole, we have a good group. I am in the conference room having a cup of tea. I  am getting obsessive with tea LOL Still not feeling up to snuff, but better! It's all dark in here except for the dull light of day coming through the windows. It's pouring buckets outside and if I had a pillow and blanky, I'd be snoozing lol. There is a tornado warning until 7pm. We had 3 touchdown last week. Nutty weather patterns! You couldn't even see outside for all the rain and wind about an hour ago.I kind of like it! I love storms, there is so much energy in them.
Well this was just a hello, I'll be back later with more - oh boy!!! Lol Ciao

Hey all, still not feeling well, I actually fell asleep and just woke up. I wanted to come by to say good evening and I'll be back tomorrow. Ciao For Now 

Guess What I'm Drinking

     Yep...tea!! Tonight it is PG Tips "The Strong One". Once called "a Proper Football Tea" by my friend and I will say it has such nice flavor, not weak like Lipton's. I used to drink that with my Mom from age 4 and up. We had tea every afternoon. My babysitter (the one from England) brought us some tea she was sent from England and my Mother enjoyed it so much. Although Lipton's was the main drink. I know that it is also an English tea but I swear it, the teas actually from England just taste better. Just my opinion of course. I also have one called Yorkshire that is yummy. I can actually taste the difference of the teas..oooh look at me, I'm refined!! LOL
     I am also not feeling well at all. I got sick 2x today and once tonight. I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I was at the post office and asked the woman if they had a bathroom. I wasn't allowed to use it so I just couldn't help it. Next thing I know....all over the floor, yep I lost it. Thankfully it wasn't much but I wish I could have been swallowed up by said floor. I was SO embarrassed. Then I got sick again at work. Then I came home. Up until then the day was very busy but good. Maybe the foot I always seem to put in my mouth is not agreeing with me! LOL I had a great afternoon bright spot and here I am, in bed settling my tummy. Going to sleep soon and hopefully be right as rain in the morning, so I am going to say goodnight, and of course Ciao For Now.
     I'm back! Can't sleep. I just read on Facebook that my friends Dad died late tonight. I'm crying and I can't figure out why. I never met the man, this is a school friend who i havent seen for years, and yet I'm crying. I think it's that he reminds me of my Dad. About the same age and similar looks (typical old Irishman) :-). I fear that day my phone rings and I get sad news. I loathe the fact that I am not near him. I know he will slip away and I won't be there! It's a harsh realization, this reminded me of it. May her Dad Rest In Peace. 
THIS is what I fucking hate about not being near those I love and care about! Things like this, the times you want to be there, so they know you love them. (family here in VA, excluded as you're all in my heart and here) 

A little Pumpkin Blog

     Well it's Sunday night and this weekend was to say - extremely mellow! I was a bit under the weather, so not much got done! I went to the gum, then store on Saturday. Hung out with hubs and just vegged out. I did drink more than half a bottle of Irish Cream on Saturday night. That million calories was very tasty! LOL  Between that and my meds I slept hard that night! Odd that I was up at 6AM today. I cleaned the bathroom this morning, then just felt so out of it. Went and made friends with my bed. Had some roast chicken and veggies for dinner. Just having a cup of tea, thanks to my friend, who sends it to me. Perhaps it's in my mind but the tea from England just tastes better! I believe the teabags seem to have more in them. Really. It's something I love
     You know what else I love? Pumpkins! I adore everything about them. The taste is great and I like them sweet or savory. I am not going to be able to make my pumpkin pie, pumpkin roll, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin bread pudding, etc.....Yea not too many sweets huh?  I have made pumpkin and squash casserole, low carb pumpkin cheesecake, roasted pumpkin seeds and a few more things. I am going to share a recipe I made up. It's healthy and low carb.
 My Faux Pumpkin Souffle
Take about 1 1/2 cups of pumpkin puree, add 2 large eggs, fat free evaporated milk (8 oz can), mix them together, then add, a tablespoon cinnamon, 1 teaspoon of allspice, cloves and 1/ 8 cup Splenda. Put in a small casserole and bake in a 350 degree oven for about half hour. You can also do this in the microwave (about 9 minutes) - how awesome is that?!  I like serving this with roast chicken or turkey. Grilled veggies round it out. Now, if you add more Splenda you have a nice dessert, just serve it with a dollop of light cool whip. 
      I am proud that I have not succumbed to the pumpkin cheesecake muffins at Starbucks, or the pumpkin loaf OR the Pumpkin Spiced Latte. For years, even last year, they were something I had to have at least once, but NOT this year. I'm determined as the reality of my trip is growing closer. I will be booking it in December. I want to show England a saucy, sexy, confident, funny lady. I am so scared I will fall flat on my fat ass!! I like to say I am confident but I really am petrified of meeting some of the folks. I wonder how I will translate? LOL  
     Okay it seems that my cold medicine is starting to take over. I'm talking weird (okay weirder! lol) and rambling, so I will stop here. So Ciao For Now on and all!

Workin' It Old Skool!

     What I mean is that before I was a supervisor I used to handle the phone calls originally, then I moved up to doing the emails that came in. Then I became supervisor, but with the open enrollment time coming up for benefits re-newals, I am once again doing emails.  I dont mind at all. We are going to be very busy, I can tell already, and I will do what's needed of me.  I always try to help if I can.
     So my weight loss so far. I have been a little quiet and the reason is that drama at home, well not really drama but things needing attention, took precidance over me. I wasnt eating bad, but I was having more carbs then I should have AND wasn't going to the gym. I quickly found out that that is not a good combo for me. So I have been getting back to the gym -slowly LOL. I will be speeding that up as of this weekend and already called them to set up an appointment with the trainer. Between my shoulder and knee issues I need her to lay down a routine that I can do that will not hurt them more and yet get me moving as much as I need to. Like I said I lost that weight and I can forgive myself 5-9 pounds but NOT 50+ that will never be back on this body. I do wish that I could have some of the fat pushed up to my tits but alas that also is not happening! LOL
     You know what I still get excited about, that I can bend over the side of my chair and pick up a pen that fell. I know you are either laughing, grinning, or shaking your head. Maybe all three, but trust me it's the little things that you notice on a day to day basis. I can bend over to pick stuff up without putting one leg out to balance myself, or hold on to something to do the same.  Again the little things.  I tend to get bored easily and having the trainer Saturday to get me a new routine will help me get re-excited about things. Plus hubs is now being really good too so it's just easier. I was going to say misery loves company but it's not misery. I'm not starving myself, just the opposite actually. It's what I'm eating thats changing. Oh don't get me wrong,  I still look at hot fresh italian bread & creamy butter with the same degree of lust as if I had seen Johnny Depp covered in baby oil offering himself to me. I just need to hold back and use some of my stubborness that I inherited from both my parents, so I don't give in. There are much more fun things to give yourself up to. 
      On to the season starting. As much as I adore the cool weather, and all the autumn scents, the one thing I hate is that my skin gets dry. I love my Clarins as it works in all seasons, which is good as it can be costly, and I don't have to buy a seperate one for this season, but I do need to suppliment a little. I make my own body scrubs but for my face, I swear by St. Ives Apricot scrub. I have used this product for over 20 years!!! Hows that for a testimonial?? You can get it at the grocery store, drug store, Target and its under $4.00 a tube. Its wonderful and now they even have different kinds but I like the original one. It works for men and women so if you tend to have flaky skin in cooler weather or just in general, go get some.......NOW!! LOL
     Well It's close to closing time and I took the liberty to come say hi, as I never took a lunch break today but I must go back to my job so I end this here, while I enjoy a cup of tea and get back to the emails.  So peeps as always, Ciao For  Now                     

    

Today I Feel Sexy

     Maybe it's the cooler weather and maybe its becasue I've been going to the gym again, maybe because I got honked and waved at from a guy in a Ford 150 this morning on the way to work, I really can't say why, but I do.   I ordered some new clothes also today, not to much as I have things I am saving up for (England! LOL), but solid black slacks and several blouses to add to the new dresses I bough shoul dhold me over for a while and the grey fall winter dress I have, has a pull string waist so I can adjust that no worries!! I just now need shoes. I have hobbit feet without all the hair on them  LOL  They are medium in size (I wear a US women's 8), but I take a wide width so it's not always easy to get stylish shoes.  I do have my UGG boots which I love.  I need snow boots too and I have my eye on a pair of Timberlands but I am wondering if I should get the men's version. It's the same exact boot but I think the mens would be wider so I can wear heavier socks with them.  I need to keep my little sausage toes warm in the snow. LOL  
     I have to share a story I told my friend Jo-Ann. It involves gastric bypass, and since she is going for it at the start of the new year, I was telling her what happened.  When I was in NY my last trip I went out with some great people to the home of some other great people and one lady there who had had the surgery was saying that sex was so much better, and I have to say since i've lost weight IO would agree and is going to get even better but you dont have to be bone thin to have great sex! I want to be a size 16/18 STILL a big girl.  Sorry I digress. She went on to say that she didnt miss the slapping noises her fat made when she had sex, me being me I looked around. hey I'm a big girl and one of the other ladies there is also a big girl so I felt like I had to defend us. So I replied , "Well I always considered that clapping for a job well done!!"   I give her kudos for her weight loss, but I find myself very self concious when I am around folks like that, not the men flk but the ladies. I feel like I am being judged, and they want to grab me and tell the doctors, go ahead and slice her up!!   I personally wouldn't mind getting that lap band, its non surgical and can be removed and/or adjusted. Hubby is vehementlyagainst me getting any type of surgery, he knows 2 people who died after theirs so I can understand. Its much safer now but I'm doing it low and slow. It gets very frustrating though, and I will stray a bit making it even slower but I WILL do it!! Please hang around me until then, it wil be worth it.
    Back to the sexy feeling. I am a woman and i hate to admit it but I need pretty & sexy validation from time to time. The other blog, remeber? I was feeling blech!! o not sexy!! I guess the F150 guy this morning and a few other things are allowing me to feel sexy and attractive again. I just want to know "I still got it!! Because I still know how to use it. Oh it might be a bit creaky at times bit I am still up to trying anything althiough I am still afraid of hurting hubs since I am a big gal. I need to get over that and the FEAR OF FALLING OVER like a weeble! LOL  If you dont know what they are, they are a childs toy from years ago, the cutest little people who have no legs just a round bottom that would make then weeble and not fall down. hahahaaha
     Well peeps this sexy weeble is signing off! So until next time  Ciao For Now

OMG I Shouldn't Find This Funny

    Apparently at the wine festival this past weekend, when the storms hit along with 70+ MPH winds, a guy from work and others were there. They said tents were flying and wine glasses were shattering.  THEN he tells me that a moon bounce with children inside it, got untethered, and started to roll across the garden. He said that I just started laughing. He said no one of course was hurt so I just laughed. The image in my head was funny. I know, I'm warped. LOL
     Today was a little somber with all the 9-11 remembering, and of course Facebook had tons of pics, NY, DC & PA held memorials and even the Presidential candidates agreed not to run commercials intended to crush all credibility from the opponent. So I saw some posts sneak in of Facebook and it made me mad. C'mon, can't you all let it go for a day? I don't want you to try to force me vote your way  using posters. I mean, do you really think you will make me do something by waving it in my face??
     Truth is today was so busy but it started fantastically, then held steady all day. I got lots done, one that I personally love, was learning how to save my voicemails to my wav file on my computer. I like to save certain ones and I always lose them, since after a time they get deleted. I got the fix from the phone guy in our building. He fixes all the phones and moves all around when we add people to our help desk. SO COOL!!! lol 
     Hubs and I are thinking of going away for a long weekend on the 28th, our wedding anniversary. Random- I know!  That's if I can get off Friday so we can go. Cross fingers but that's okay if not, we can do an overnight instead. Wow the meds are kickin in people, so I am calling it quits for the night. Ciao For Now.

Warning: May Bring Up Sad Memories

    Lets do the math: Cantor Fitzgerald - 658, March & Mc Lennon - 358, AON Corp. - 175, these are the top 3 companies that lost people that tragic day. The total loss was over 3,000. I doubt we will ever know the exact amount as I'm sure workers who worked the 3rd shift were unaccounted for. People who had no families to report a loved one didn't come home. My eyes are watery as I'm typing this. The United States never had anything like this before, we were always on foreign soil, but this morning we were all focused downtown. I remember someone I worked with, running out of the back room telling me a plane crashed into the Trade Center.  I turned on CNN and there it was, this ball of fire, I stared at the screen. I grabbed my phone and called my Dad, he turned on the TV and was shocked! My friend in Long Island called me as she heard a plane was near Dulles Airport, the plane crashed into The Pentagon. I know so many people who lost friends, spouses, family, I get a bit sick thinking of all that loss. I will never be able to wrap my bitty brain around that much hate!! I had friends who worked near there, my cousin worked at NY/NJ Port Authority, she was late that day (thank heavens) I am sure many of you reading have been personally touched by this and I know at least 2 of you personally. A friend from high school died that day, he was a first responder, a fireman, his dream. I'm not doing this to make anyone sad, I want to celebrate their memory, I want them to live on. 
     I remember another of my friends who also is a NY City Fireman. His firehouse was in Brooklyn but they were called in almost immediately as they were right over the bridge from downtown. We didn't hear from him for a week. We thought we lost him too, but an email simply stating "I'm okay" allowed us to exhale with relief. My oldest friend in the world, a NY City Policeman has been on desk duty since then as he can't breathe right still. I am very proud of all of them. Just an ordinary day, it started perfectly fine then Hell On Earth started. Tomorrow is the anniversary of this tragedy, it's been 11 years and I want to honor them all, those who lost their lives, the emergency responders, doctors, nurses, all those who just helped any way they could.
     On this day, which is a global remembrance as so so many countries lost people, I just want my friends to know that I treasure you. Life can end at any moment, so why wait until then to say I love you, I have a great time with you, you are special to me, tell them now. All of you reading this let those you care about know it!! I could have written so much more but it seems a little blasphemous to just go on and on. I will stop here. So ciao for now

Little Of Nothing

     Well today was the hubs birthday. After yesterdays storms, the morning brought wonderful cool temps that never got above about 78. Last night the hubs and I stayed in and I decided to open a bottle of Pinot Gris, he didn't want any so I felt obligated, ya know how it is? LOL 
     So today as we leave to go out for a drive, first thing we notice is the weather is just wonderful. It's about 67 degrees and a slight breeze just makes it better. The we look at the the front deck and there is debris everywhere. The winds did top out around 73 miles per hour we saw online and our neighbors tree, split off a huge branch, I'm talking size of a tiny tree. Other than that all seemed fine. Off we went, top down on the car and had a lovely lunch of chicken (me) pork (him) along with lots of grilled veg (zucchini (courgettes to EU), peppers, carrots, eggplant), that were in some sort of balsamic dressing. YUMMY!!  I had suggested sushi for dinner as it's been awhile but hubs wanted to get home. So here we are. Spent the late afternoon enjoying the windows open and reading. Hubs was on his computer downstairs as on the phone with his brother.. The kids called to sing happy birthday and then they got caught up talking. I was surprised to get a text from my good friend who is on holiday. I was touched that I was thought of. SO good to hear from friends, isn't it. I'm still smiling. 
     Work is tomorrow and it's the start of all the fun. Communication goes out Tuesday on new plans and costs and the phones will blow up with people complaining and yelling, others asking for more info....yea...fun!!! I'm off to the gym in the morning as I MUST get back on track....it's not 10 or 20 pounds to lose here folks. By the time I get to England next year I want to be in a size 16!! I can do it, no question there but I need to move more. Problem is I still only have about 90% mobility in my left arm as the pinched nerve is taking its time to heal. I'm thinking that I should ask the trainer tomorrow for some strengthening exercises. Plus I plan on using the steam room, it's beautiful, and the scent in there is delicious!! lol   
     Just checking in as I am ready to sleep. So Ciao for now

Give Me Wine Or Give Me Death!!

     Well hello Friday you have finally arrived. Why is it that when you have off on Monday for a holiday that the rest of the week seems more crazy than normal.  It has been so busy at work that you don't remeber whether you were coming or going. I am tired if I'm honest. I am out of sorts slightly as several people here at work have been nice and shared their germs with me. 
     I don't know, I am feeling odd all around really. I am happy and sad at the same time. I'm having withdrawl of a few friends who are away and I have not spoken to. Odd how you get so used to speaking with someone and when you don't you miss them. The even odder thing there is that they don't live near me so I don't see them much anyway!! Still, it's like they are somehow more removed from you because of this. DON'T try to figure it out, it makes sense in Maryworld, you'll just end up like a dog chasing it's tail never truly getting it! LOL
     I have also just started going back to the gym and......it hurts!! hahaaha  Yes I know it should, but I'm mad at myself that I got so caught up in crap that I put myself aside again and didn't take are of me as I should. I must take care of me, it's the only thing I can give those I love. I think I am just going through that "I look horrible & unattractive" phase that we all go through sometimes. Stress is showing and I don't like it. Which may be the reason I keep eyeing that Clarosonic (Think thats it) face scrubbing system, and also all the lovely perfumes on Sephora. Trying to gain confidence again. I'll be right as rain soon I know as I usually can talk myself out of feeling like this. I feel just super big, like gravity has doubled lately. My clothes still hang on but the few pounds I had gained back all show in my face, gods forbid it would go to my tits!! NO we won't have it going there...DAMN!!! :-(
     I bought hubs a silly geeky Dr.Who gift for his birthday, it's a copy of the Master's watch and fob. It's a real watch and very cool. We both love that show. I will take him to dinner on Sunday, (hoping for sushi, and then let him run around the computer store and get something he wants then that will be his real gift. I never know what to get him. I was thinking a new camera and he went and bought one for himself last week!! ARRRGGHHH!! I'm usually pretty good with gifts but him I have trouble with. He wears no jewelry and is not into fancy clothes or wine or anything really.  He DOES eat - so ergo the sushi!! HAHAHA
    I wish I felt witty as i feel like I am letting all of you down. I wanted my blogs to always be witty and full of fun and folly but sometimes they seem to just sound like I'm bitching.  I'm really a wonderful person. I give to charities, try to alwasy have a smile for people and will help you get anything off the bottom shelf in any store ;-)
if i didn't know better I would guess I was pregnant but THAT is impossible so I will just say that I am feeling the elements which have been a bit volitile as of late. With all the hurricanes, the weather NOT changing to fall fast enough (lol), and now the waning of the moon. It affects me I suppose. I AM feeling better that I am doing my cards again and I enrolled in that class I mentioned. Oh I am a nutter who does dumb things sometimes and to make matters worse posts them on facebook to allow her friends on there to hear about it!! I will always be, shall we be kind, and say quirky? But that's me, so take me or leave me, but rest assured I WILL do things not expected if you hang around long enough! ;-D    So until next time Ciao For Now
    

So it's a holiday

     For those of us in America, Monday September 3rd is a holiday. It's Labor Day and the "Unofficial" start of the fall season, which of course is bunk!! I mean Fall starts on Sept. 21st with the Autumn Equinox but I'm being picky! LOL It's called this as most schools will start again this week, a few already started. I remember when I was younger, it did actually get much cooler as well, but in these days of the non exhistant global warming it is still rather warm, although the 90+ degrees should be gone now for good. (fingers crossed as you can never tell). What is Labor Day exactly, well it is a day set aside to honor the countries workers basically. I looked it up at US.gov and this is one of the first lines. It simply states there this factoid: "It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country." Yes along with the outsourcing of it's workers, causing high unemployment, they left that part out. I though, as one of the working population, admit I enjoy having a day off to do NOTHING AT ALL, but of course I will find something to do as it does get a bit boring in the house all day. It has been raining on & off since Friday night around here, and our mountain trip today was called off. So I trekked out in the rain and got some card supplies and signed up for a 2 hour class at the local stamping craft store. It's their anniversary on Sat. Sept. 22nd (10 years they have been opened), and they have a set of make it and take its. These are projects you do in the store with their supplies. It was $20.00 for the session, basically to pay for what you will use plus extra supplies to take. They are making a Halloween card craft, a Christmas (you read it correctly hehe) project and 2 other things I don't remember but they sounded really cool!  I am starting my Halloween cards next weekend and then will decide if Thanksgiving will be the next set, or I may just go right to Christmas cards.
     Okay switching gears and getting a bit more serious. The last month or so I have been so over emotional. It comes out in tears, neediness, and unfortunately stress! This causes me to not care too much about anything, yet I always care about everybody.  I feel like in the movie Lilo & Stitch, when Stitch goes out at night and finds himself lost, and he just stands there and cries out "Lost, I'm Lost!"  I'm not of course but I do feel a bit empty. I have recently had a few things really make me smile and feel good. Silly things, but most have been from children. Children always make me smile. My adult friends are off busy in their lives yet that too has started to come back the last few days. Had a great chat with a dear gal friend today. She is one of the trio when we have our girls night. Oh we are so bad when we are together. I'm trying to get her to come to England with me. Oh England you will be in trouble!! LOL  Like I said, I'm so emotional. Yesterday I was out, as I drove down the road I saw this man sitting in the curb. He had his head down, and his hands over his eyes. It was obvious he was upset about something, and man I got so upset myself. I know it's stupid of me, I didn't know him at all but the whole scene was sad. Was he hurt, did someone die, did he lose his job, was he ill?  I just wanted to yell out the car window that it will be okay. I didn't of course and besides, you can't promise it always will be okay, sometimes its not. So off I drove on, and true story, I got home and looked at my Instagram,  my friends son posted a pic of himself, and he was wearing the bracelet I had sent him. It instantly cheered me up as, well, he likes it!! hahaha I must sound like a total lunatic but I feel bad when people around me hurt or are upset. I'm like a low grade empath. 
     Speaking of lunatic, this past Friday was a blue moon. Second full moon in the month. (next one is not until 2015) It was so gorgeous, the hubs and I went for a drive later that night with the top down so we could enjoy the moonbeams. The pull of the moon on me is strong, and I made several wishes and workings that night. One came true right away, in the fact that hubs agreed to go out for the drive. Normally once he is home that is it!!  I left work about 8:20pm or so, and she was already climbing high. So I snapped a pic with my phone. Its not the best but here, see how bright she was shinning. 

 

     So peeps, life has been steady if not rather banal as of late but that's good as all hell will break lose at work in the next 2 months. So I am enjoying the calm before the storm as they say.  So lets see what tomorrow brings and I'll be back tomorrow night. Until that time, Ciao For Now