Rise And Shine

    What creams my corn, busts my buttons, and generally gets my feathers ruffled is when I get new jeans and the damn rise is not correct.  Sis has the issue but for her the rise is too high, mine is too short.  Since I am ample both front and back I like a higher rise in my jeans. Now I don't mean I want the waistband right under my tits but I'd like it a but higher than my hips. I feel that they slip down if they sit at my hip level. I like them a little over my hips, I like to be hugged by my jeans LOL  Seriously, I must be the oddest shape, I have a little inseam (24") but my tummy , although going down nicely, is still larger so I need the higher rise, My butt is not bad so in the back the jeans are fine but if I pull it up in the front I get a very large camel toe"ish" thing that just will NOT do. I do not want to look like a person from Walmart. just because I'm fat doesn't mean I need to look unkempt or sloppy. I hate when I see that on others. To each their own I suppose. I like to think I always look decent. I can look damn well fabulous also, this I know. hehe I just want to wear a pair of jeans that are a good length and do not split my front in half so one can not tell if I'm coming or going!  Or give me a quick thrill from rubbing me when I sit down. (wide eyes here - oosh )
     So my time of redundancy has been pushed back to the 24th of March, for now at least. It may go even more, which would be nice.  Thing is that they are having issues with getting them access to all the programs we use. Plus we are training them using Skype meetings, so its not as hands on as it probably should be.  Down here in VA we have some idiot good ole boys that are not going to be happy about this switch. Oh well I guess it will not be my problem anymore. Sigh....
I'm just going to work here as long as they will let me, and squirrel away as much as I can.  Part of me wants to have a little time home to get house in order and hit up the farmer's markets that always seem to be  open on Mondays and Wednesdays. The Saturday ones are fun but crowded LOL  I can also take a week or two and go to NYC to see friends and my cousins whom I never get to see anymore. And I can do this during the weekdays, NICE!! Plus when I start my new job i will not get a vaca for quite some time so it will be nice to relax a bit as long as the bank account is okay. LOL   Hell if it gets bad I'll deliver pizza if I have to.  Honest work is honest work.
     Its been so warm here for February, yesterday it was 77 degreesF and today is supposed to be the same or a tad bit higher.  Last night I  got up to put the fan on in the bedroom around 2:30 AM
It says that its 76 out now at its 4pm in the afternoon
I just finished all my training session and omg Im am asking if they have any questions, and all I hear is NOTHING!!! They are good they say, I am amazed that they have no questions, I would have them as we covered a lot of different kind of calls, we did tax questions, floral tributes, benefits inquiries, expense questions   ugh I just hope they are ready and we already know they will not bring us back once we are gone.  I couldn't care less for the company but some of these employees I know and I hate to think they will not get good answers anymore. Ah well its over until Monday so time to go home tonight and do the naked happy dance at home LMAO  - Im out of here in about 20 minutes so  Ciao For Now :-D

Just saying hi

     Good Morning peeps, so today is our pot luck at work. One of the guys here is making chili so I made Rosemary garlic bread to go along with it. I stopped and bought a 1 pound brick of butter from the market that has local dairy. This stuff is outrageous, well as exciting as butter can be  LOL   But at least it will be nice to have a hour long relaxing time for us all to eat and chat. A break from all the training we are doing to help the new people.
     I had such a nice time in NJ, I made some Irish soda bread to rave reviews, that pleased me very much. I love when people enjoy what I bake or cook.  Sis made very yummy filet mignon and tomato salad.  As she and mom say it's all in the spices. As you know Sis and I are not blood related so this was the first time i was meeting her parental units  (lol)  Its so odd I've never met them before as I've known Sis for so many years.  But they are such lovely people and I enjoyed my time there so much. I hope to do this again as often as Sis can get off to go down to see them. They are a half way between Sis and me so its an ideal meeting point.  Plus the weather was incredible, high 60's in FEBRUARY unreal.
     Hubs and I have been chatting as he had a really bad night the other night. he is in such pain with is back and it must be, as he mentioned actually looking for another doctor. Up to this point he has refused as he has been to so many already. We also talked about if i cant find another job here once this one is over. I may just look in NYC near my dad and on Long island.  Then just see hubs on the weekends.  Who knows  I know thats crazy as he will never move to NY, not Queens anyway.   Im sure I will get a job down here in VA though.  maybe I'll win a lottery and it wont matter at all.  How nice that would be LOL  
     Well I hope all is well with everyone and I will be back, just checking in
Ciao For Now

Yesterday and from this point on..

Oh the joy of training your replacements!!!    We got an email this afternoon announcing the name of the new company and here's what will be happening, and we hope you are all on board and blah blah blah, thanks for all your hard work. WAIT!  Did you really just say that in the email you fucker!!??  The CEO of this company can kiss my fat ass in Macy*s front window!  I have been a bit upset but this email today boasting about how great this will be and that they are focused on the future really got me fuming.  So you outsource your employees for cheaper labor not caring as you (the CEO) sits in his high office making 20 mil a year in salary.  Not even mentioning for 5 years we saw no bonus or cost of living raises in pay, we saw nothing of this wonderful yearly returns. I like the people I work with and I am sorry I will not have a familiar working establishment to go to in the mornings, but the cold workings of business I do not understand. Its the worker bees that get fucked all the time.

On another, happier note--
We are having a party on the 22nd, a pot luck, and everyone is bringing something. I'm bringing meatballs, I'll make my gravy (sauce to the rest of you) on Monday as its a US holiday and I am home and I'm also home Tuesday, took a day off to go to the eye doctors and just relax.  Other than that, I had cheesecake last night at our Valentine's dinner, I loved it, I make no apologies for it BUT my tummy wasn't happy the rest of the night.  So back to eating better today, but it was chocolate raspberry and it was goooooooood!! LOL   Ciao For Now

Sunday, or as I call it Slug day

So the month is going fairly quickly for some reason. I've been sorting out finances, like canceling my 401k contribution so I won't have a huge deduction on my final check. After all is said and done, it should be fine. I went into work on Saturday and started to empty out my desk drawers. So many things go through your mind. I wanted to leave but I wanted it on my terms dammit. I came home and the damn broke. Had a mini meltdown. Then I yelled at myself and now I'm okay.  Today I did nothing except we went to do laundry before the sun came up. Then, we had breakfast.  I spent the day, getting ready to clean out a old bookcase I'm planning on using to put my desk items that won't go on my actual desk.  My owls, mugs, stuff.  Lol. I have a lot of fucking tea. I have loose and tea bags. Or sachets as they call them.  I'm having some calming peppermint at the moment. My tummy is full from dinner and this helps soothe me.  Not looking forward to this week, but I am looking forward to the coming weekend.  I get to see sis in NJ of all places. More on that at a later time.  So peeps I'm out, just wanted to say hi, ciao for now :-D

Smile When Your heart Is Brea... No Nothing Breaking Here!!

I smile a lot, I just do, I am a genuinely happy person BUT just because I am smiling, doesn't mean I am always happy. It also does not make me a fool who refuses to see the real life in front of them. I am very well aware of what going on in my life and in the world for that matter.  I take in a lot. I get tongue-tied so I do not always speak as succinctly as I would like. Do not take that for uneducated. I have been through a lot and learned many lessons, unfortunately it seems at this point many of those lessons will not help me in what I need to do. But on the hand,  many will help me deal with yet another (slight) obstacle.  I choose to try and always smile through things yet I can be deadly serious when needed.
So yes I got our notice that we all will be made redundant on March 3rd.,  but I already have reached out to a few people and sent out 5 resumes today ( a drop in the bucket of what will be sent I promise that)  I refuse to panic - I will hold my resolve that this will work out and my friends if I get a bit needy, please forgive me. Just tell me a dumb joke and my smile will come right back   :-D

Wow It's Been A Few Years (yes I'm letting go of anger lol, be warned)

     Since I've been proper, in need of a bucket,  sick. Yep, I despise it, and last night, (or early morning),  depending on your view, I had to run to the bathroom. It didn't even make me feel better. I just collapsed back into bed and finally fell asleep.  So it's almost noon on Sunday, I've had a cup of peppermint tea, with a sprinkle of Stevia, 1small piece of brown bread and a half pat of butter. A grand total of 72 calories. I don't think anything else will stay and moreover, NOTHING, sounds appealing.  I've been reading since about 9, yep it's a slug day.
     Yesterday I ran some errands and was amazed at how gorgeous the sky looked as the sun was setting. But people acting about as stupid as one can be, really got to me yesterday.  I'm at the drive through to get a cup of coffee, so the lady in front of me, driving her high end Merc, nails incredibly long, that she was clicking on her side mirror, was asking the voice on the speaker if they would give her a list of the pastries they had. REALLY!?  If you want to see, then go the fuck inside and look for yourself.  I didn't go in as I figured hey quick, plain tall Americano coffee. But no, it took forever, and if she had looked in that mirror she was clicking those nails on she would have seen me sneaking a turned up finger using the guise of rubbing my eye. Then after we both get our orders, I'm driving and someone decides that it would be interesting to make their right turn from the left lane. Barely missing my car. I came home and said to my hubs, I have way too much anger in me.  I mean at the end of the day, people will be people, I want to believe they don't do what they do to purposely make others angry, but I can only change my reactions to them.  Who knows, maybe I was purging some anger at 2:30am. Lol woke hubs up too.
     I don't know peeps, I've been losing weight and I've noticed that my hair is thinner. Ha that's funny! But I want my hair to stay fat you see.  I don't like it, and it's in the front. I spoke to my hairdresser about this, it's very possible I'm not getting enough nutrients, well not enough of certain ones.  She said I need more protein and even some carbs. I haven't had any carbs. So tonight I'm having a small sweet potato, and some plain baked chicken. Don't think I could handle much more at the moment. Hoping that sits well. I'm also due for blood work next month, and I'm going to look very closely at thyroid results. As this can also cause hair thinning. I know I sound vain, but I've always had a lot of good strong hair and to think that's changing upsets me. I'm going back to blonde as it will be a lot less noticeable. And I made a concoction of coconut, castor & Rosemary oils that I rub into my scalp and let sit for a few hours then was out.  I got a deluxe sample of an amino acid shampoo & conditioner from Kiehl's that is really nice.  So I'm hoping as I incorporate other foods back into my diet, that my hair will bounce back. As long as it's not medical. I'm just going to have to accept what is. If I can't fight it, I need to handle it.  I've gotten more into my meditation, well I'm trying too. But stress can cause the hair thinning too. Plus it's not a bad thing to do, I mean, the company I work for is merging with HPE and after tax time is over, I'm getting the feeling we will all be sacked.  I'm truthfully not stressing about that, not really, Que Sera Sera. I'm just doing more to keep a sense of calm and balance in my life. Do they have Yoga for fat people?
     So there is my life at the moment. Nothing really majorly wrong. Just the everyday annoyances we all have. It's very minut in comparison to a few I know. I'm trying to be a better me for me but also so I can be a better me for them!
We shall see if I can stay calm, oh and there's also the Valium....wait....what!?  LMAO (wink wink)
Ciao For Now

Groundhogs Day

     Well the day is here and good ole Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow so according to legend 6 more weeks of winter is on its way.  Yet the groundhog in Staten Island did not see his shadow so that mean early Spring.  What this just actually means is that no one can predict the weather. Although I do look to fuzzy caterpillars & the fluffiness of a squirrels tails in october & November to let me know if the winter will be bad.  Neither were fuzzy nor fluffy that I saw and the weather seems to be on track with that predictions. Especially the added fact that we bought a new snow shovel and both hubs and I got new snow boots. I think we have the correct talismans in place to ward off the worst winter weather LOL
     Well I just wanted to say hi and oh yeah, next Tuesday I  will be a blonde again   lol
Ciao For now