Talk About Gold Turning To Crap (Somewhat)

     So, today started good enough. I can't find my words tonight. I'm happy that I got my time approved for my trip to England, but I found out that a friends mom died. I'm thrilled a friend is branching out and moving forward, I'm so sad that I also found that a girl I went to school with suddenly died,  too soon!!  I'm tongue tied. I feel that I'm not the same to those I care about. Like I'm fading, I know it's my mind but I'm scared. I'm anxious, nervous as fuck. I'm also giddy, I'm happy but I miss the excitement of the summer. Things have settled nicely, a nice change but damn I want more, I'm not able to do more right now. My lungs are still full, not as bad as before but bad! I'm not allowed to do as much as I want. I need to go to the gym. It's not an option for me. I'm not thrilled to be ill. I feel my body is betraying me. Gah!!!! I miss NY also. Thus weather has prevented me from driving up. Peeps I'm going to bed. But I'll be back tomorrow - promise. Ciao for now

New One Coming

Sorry all, busy weekend doing nothing. Lol well some things. I will write a new blog tonight so check back and until then.  Ciao for now

One Hell Of A Town

     I'm quite sure that my views are not surprising. But I can promise they are unique, to me at least. Yet they are part of a huge network, a kind of unity that comes from knowing the experience of New York. You just don't live there, it seeps into your blood. You run on it's energy. When she suffers, we all feel it. I know you are saying, but every big city is like that. Perhaps, you are right. But I've lived in Hollywood, and now I'm right near Washington DC. Two huge cities, but although I will admit to certain "big city" similarities, they do not feel the same.
Hollywood was lonely. I walked those streets and it felt sheltered. As if to say, you are not from here, and you can live here if you want, but your an outsider! I certainly felt that way there. I admit that San Francisco felt more welcoming to me. I would definitely live up the coast if I lived in CA.
Now DC, seems a bit closer to NY. More squeezed together. Kind of like Disneyland as opposed to Disneyworld. The different areas of the city seem more compact. DC is not a big city, not in my opinion anyway. The people seem a bit similar to NY. And they welcome you in.
Which brings us to my original topic, New York. Let me introduce you to New York. I guess my first thoughts go to Brooklyn and Queens. Brooklyn is where I was born, so that already makes it amazing. Lol but really though, there is a family feeling there. Homes with families that sometimes have 3 generations living in the same place. Queens, is similar. Both places where you can take bus rides to get any ethnic food product. Queens was home, allying with Brooklyn in family for me. 40X100 plots of property, one or a rare two car garage. A backyard to play in and have weekend cookouts. Basketball hoops hanging over the garage door. I knew every kid on my street, I am still friends with lots of them. I'm going to fast forward to Manhattan, aka "The City"! Although NYC is comprised of 5 boroughs, Manhattan has gained this moniker. Ah NYC. How do I love thee? Well it's a love/sometimes hate relationship. Of course the trains can be so crowded and so sweaty. The taxi drivers seem to have trained as kamikaze pilots. But these pale when you experience the wonder the city has to offer. Now every part of the city has something to offer. Downtown has a funky vibe. I did The Rocky Horror Picture there on Fridays & Saturdays at midnight. It was fun. I went to clubs like Limelight and Danceteria. I loved Magique, which was The Tunnel prior to that. We danced till dawn. I even went to several launch parties for groups that I have no idea whatever happened to them. lol there was champagne flowing , lines on every available mirror and herbal scents in the air.
Midtown has working groups with awesome restaurants inside their buildings. Fun hide-a-ways to go have after hour drinks. Then the theater district that us awake 24 hours. Uptown where the beautiful people live. Woven in between the gilded wonder you find the taboo offerings. The swing clubs, the no tell motels, the underground rumble of the city. I've partied here as well and was never disappointed. But let me tell you of a favorite place. Well actually a memory that I will try to explain. If you go towards Columbus Circle, make a left, head uptown to the 70's. 72nd street you will find an entrance to Central Park. As you walk into the park, like magic, the sound fades away. It's surreal. You hear no sounds, of cars, or the rush of people moving about. It's like you are transported back to a more gentle time. It's very serene. Now I can spend hours there, and have. The park wraps around you like a comfortable blanket. I gave spent many a fabulous weekend here. But to me, for some odd reason. I love the city when it rains. The streets shine, and it just lends an entire dimension to the experience. Running across the street into a corner diner. Watch the rain fall as you have another cup of coffee. If you are sharing that coffee with a friend or lover, then that diner, becomes YOUR diner. It's now a secure haven in the bustling city. I guess you really can't explain it, unless you've experienced it. The people are weird, funny, great looking, sometimes nasty, but NY is home.
     I'm sure you are all saying, I know what you mean, but it's not NY, it's ....it's a place we all know, and I tell you. If you can, go visit. Some magical things happen there. I know this personally.
     Peeps it's been a day, I went to the doctors today. Seems that my pneumonia is still hanging on. I have to have another X-Ray done. I am on antibiotics now. I got an inhaler that contains this steroid that the commercial scares me so I'm calling the Dr. back tomorrow. I hate this so much. But I'm at work tomorrow so I can interact with others. Looking forward to it.
     Well until tomorrow peeps, as usual, Ciao For Now.

She Has A Pencil

   Let the jokes start. The first ones are from me directly. I just decided to actually try to make drawings like the ones I admire my friends doing. Oh I am no where near them. I wear one. He is a top notch artist, I think so anyway. His children are too. I can't gold a candle to them, but that's not going to stop me from trying. Even hubs can draw a little. I want to learn to draw. I am looking into possibly taking classes at the rec center too. Oh I posted a couple of pics and if any of you are on my Facebook page, go have a look. You will be crying. I gave a face I do. Hubs says "Thunderbirds, another friend said Peter Burns. Lol I like to doodle but I would love to put original images on my cards.
    Oh we are expecting another 3" of snow overnight and ending the day with 50F by end of day. Sheesh. I must get out. I swear, drinking and being sequestered is not good for my waistline. I went grocery shopping this afternoon, and restock all healthy foods for work thus week. It's back to taking care of me. I have to. I'm the only one who will 100%. It's no ones responsibility but mine.
    Bit antsy tonight, so I'm going to have a nice warm cup of tea and head to bed. So I will say ciao for now. 😎

Well Hello Snowbunnies

     Sunday evening, Valentine's weekend is over, kind of.  We have off tomorrow as well for Presidents' Day. It's honoring Presidents Washington and Lincoln. When I was a child we had two separate holidays. Was great, we had two days off from school, now we tend to celebrate holidays on the closest Mondays. Usually by now you can feel a tinge of Spring that will be arriving soon. These past few days we have been under snow storms. By me we got about 16 inches, my manager, who lives more near the mountains, got about 2 feet!  I was on the snow team at work and got put up in a hotel. Was fun, would have been better if I didn't have a roommate. I can snore, but OMG, I thought I was going to fall out of bed. We had late nights though,  it was fun to party in the room with the other snow team peeps. I must say though I am glad to be off the team now as it looks like no more snow. Our director kind of put me in charge. I handled the corporate credit card, did the expense reports too on Friday afternoon. Interesting.
     So now I'm in yet another hotel, but this time I am with the hubs for actual Valentines fun. You know he went over to the hotel I was at and dug my car out from under the snow. I had no idea he was going to do that. I was so surprised. He kept saying how sorry he was that he didn't get me a gift or flowers but doing that meant so much. Love is not always these grand gestures. It's the fact that someone thought of you and acted on that. I am lucky to have him and I am so happy to say that my friends have done similar and I try to do the same for them. Love is a broad spectrum word, I live my husband and I love my friends. The feeling is as deep for each but just a different ending. Lol I love love, I say it way too often, this I know but I am sincere.  
     Well had a long talk with hubs tonight and told him I so hope that the people in England like me. He replied, just talk them to death. Thanks much there hubs! I am hitting the gym on Tuesday morning and have an appointment Saturday with the trainer to work out a new routine for me. Taking into consideration I'm back a few pegs sine I had pneumonia. I lost a bit of stamina but it will come back. So excited, I am booking a room tomorrow. It looks awesome. Oh I was told we will be seeing special parts of the Tower Of London, and other fun things. The  hotel looks just fabulous. Friends in town, then a cool hotel in the city. This is getting more and more exciting. I will build my stamina up for sure. I plan on walking right along with them there locals.  Lol
     I'm about to load the dishwasher, and clean the kitchen and be a good wifey. So until next time peeps. Ciao For Now .

Just a quick word.

     I just read a few of my posts and omg between being half asleep while writing them and hitting wrong keys plus fuckin auto correct. I applaud those of you who can understand what I'm saying. Lmao I really do know how to read and write English I promise. Lol next blog will be spelling perfection. Just look and see. Ciao for now

Just So Sad

     Today has been a crazy day at work. Not a bad one just crazed. I was actually in tears with a woman who recently list her husband and she started to cry, I was trying to help her get a tax return even though we had no proof she was his beneficiary. She got overwhelmed and started to cry,mine was trying to soothe her while I felt myself getting weepy. Then she called out to her husband asking him why he had to leave her alone and omg I felt tears on my cheek. After almost an hour and a gal few finally found his beneficiary firm bad thereby allowing us to send her his W2. Huzzah! The day was steady busy but that was the only real glitch. I came home, relaxed and felt much better.
     Then a friend of mine called me to say that her husbands father committed suicide this morning. He left a note and from all reports planned it pretty carefully. They are devastated of course. I was shocked when she told me. The poor man, he thought he had no way out, no where to go. His pain ended, the families just beginning.
     What goes on in people's minds we will never know, we all have grief, and stress. We all gave things to deal with. But you could know someone 50 years and there will still be that secret part of them that only they know about. That little part of us we keep to ourselves.  I am so saddened for my friends, I wish I had something profound to say, to make it make sense. Of course I don't, so all I can do is keep a strong shoulder fir them should they need it.  Peeps it's almost 3 am. I fell asleep earlier and I just woke up a few moments ago. I wanted to put thus up. Not or any shock value, but because to remind us yet again, tell those you love and care about how you feel. You may not get that "I'll do it tomorrow" chance. And a kind word may just change a negative thought to a happy one.  Ciao for now.

Strange Days Indeed Mama!

     Not really strange, oh what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yes, SUCKY!! SUCKY SUCKY SUCKY!!! I have no issues with getting told I did something wrong, as a matter of fact I pride myself  in being able to to take positive criticism with grace. BUT when you get trained with bare basic information, and it's late and those who can answer your questions are gone, you turn to a, for lack of a better word, a lead. He works with the issue I was having, so I asked. He had no clue, told me to open a ticket. So I did and today I get called over and had to explain why. So I get told no don't  look here, look here. I said I did that and by what had come up it looked like a change had been made already. But no, I was made to feel small. What irks me is that it was her lead who told me to do the damn ticket because he didn't know. On it's own no big deal, but people are still calling in irate about that issue I mentioned a few days back. I really hate that I had to backtrack in my career. But I needed money, I have to earn money. I am not a bum expecting handouts. Oh it just gets me frustrated sometimes. I start to doubt myself in all manners. Ridiculous I know, but hey...😀 I have a lot to offer but sometimes I feel so wasted.
      Well I am happy as I'm going to look at the availability of who may have the car I'm interested in. I was thinking of a red one, but a friend made a good point to me and I want one in white. I like black too but white us my main choice. If I can find one at the payments I want, well my butt may be making a new print on a new drivers seat. I'll let you know.
      I was hoping to get to NY this weekend but the weather is supposed to be bad and snowy. I guess I'll see him in the Spring thaw. Lol aw peeps I've indulged in something I haven't in awhile and I'm going to sign off before munchies start. Hehehe.  So until tomorrow, ciao for now.

Not Tonight Dear

I do kind of have a headache. Lmao. Just have been dozing for about an hour or so and don't think I can stay awake. Just a very draining day.  So getting sleep good brekky in the morning and smack on the butt to start the morning. So until tomorrow, I say ciao for now 💋

Fighting Our Demons

     When we were young, we all thought about monsters under the bed, or in the closet. To this day, I will not go to bed with my feet out from under the covers. These demons were kept at bay, by our Mothers and Father's. As we "grow up" the demons change, and Mom and Dad aren't there to help us.  Today an actor died, he was pretty much a contemporary. He was under 50 and he died from an heroines overdose, so the early reports are saying.  He has a long relationship with heroine, but he was clean for years he said.  He leave his live in partner and their 3 young children. So she lost her mate and the kids lost their dad. His demons won, but why? What happened to him that made him give in to them. He wasn't shy about his addiction, I remember reading about it about a year ago. He went into re-hab, was trying. It makes me so sad, he was so talented. But in truth it also scares the hell out of me. Why you ask? Easy, I must face my demons every day as well. My demons are different, I don't have a drug issue. I have sweets and carbs issues. I'm working on them, but damn I could die from these as well. That sounds harsh, but the reality is there. But I am doing my damdest to reverse it before any major damage is caused. I already walk better but have a way to go. I want to be able to do the circuit over and over. I want to run across the street instead of power walking. Lol I will get there but scary times. To think of how our demons can overtake us at any point. Makes you shudder a little.
      I'm going to give myself a facial my friends so I am off to do that. Until next time, keep your demo a at bay and ciao for now.