Pissed Off

   I went on Facebook today and every post I see is either about the two idiots running for president (gods help us) or the asshole NFL player who won't stand for the national anthem, but of course the money you make is okay, you over paid talentless jackhole! Sorry dude, you're oppressed in what way? I didn't see you down in LA helping the flood victims. Anyway......it's ridiculas. I really go on now to play Alpha Betty. I just hate the hypocrisy of the people on there, and I'm over it.

I'm stuffed

     Thai food for lunch, chicken pad see ew, very tasty but I ate only half. Im hoping it will keep in the refrigerator at work over the weekend so I have lunch already sorted on Monday.  Got a good deal on Slimfast shakes at Walgreens.  I'm looking forward to the weekend, although the heat is back!! ugh  its going to have a real feel of 110 either today or tomorrow. It definitely gives one initiative to stay in and clean.  LOL
     I will be in cooking for the week on Sunday as hubs has a schedule change, and will be working later hours until they hire a new person on. This new person will take hub's place as the low man on the totem pole so to speak, A senior employee just left and this was his shift, its not bad really, 9:30AM  - 6PM. With the closeness of the company to where we live he will be home by 6:10 lol  its around the corner almost.  I'm going to make a roast, we haven't been eating mucg red meat at all but like I said we will occasionally so a nice roast will give many meals. That and Im thinking some lamb stew.
     So I got to meet our new neighbors yesterday. Nice lady and nice kids. haven't met her husband yet. They actually were renting a home about 5 house up the block and when they saw this house for sale they jumped on it and worked out great for my neighbor. They didn't even have to have an open house.  That's so great, I hope when the time comes I'll be able to sell so quickly.
     Well Peeps I will say ciao for now and I will be home this evening starring at the marshmallow pumpkin my hubby bought me as a treat. deciding if I want it or hang on to it a little longer. I'm leaning to hang on. Ta....

How Much Is That Blouse???

    Good grief, I was looking for a few choice pieces of clothing to supplement my slacks for work and also to add to my jeans.  Well I look at Torrid, cool jeans, found a pair, great pair and only $75.00. I look at Catherine's and see a fab blouse for only $64.00.  WTF, why do they feel that by adding a little more fabric they charge designer prices? Fat girl clothes are so fucking expensive. It drives me batty. I finally found a few bits and pieces I got, but jeez.  Sis has given me a few lovely tops. One I can't wait to wear, it's a black crisis cross top that will look fab with my dress.  Why over a dress? Because I do not go sleeveless in public. I have seen women with arms larger than mine but I don't care for it, I also like my tummy covered. My personal taste. Again some women don't care, but I do. Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I have to be slovenly. I say that as there are times I will run out looking like crap, but it's usually to go to the drug store or if it's a quick grocery run I go to a store not in my area. Less chance of seeing someone I know. Hahaha
     Well I've been doing great, but what irks me is that when I go and put in my food and I eat less calories than the website thinks I should they don't log in that I came in under my calories. It counts my day as a log in, almost a month strait and I've lost 11 pounds so far.  I'm not unrealistic, I just want to get to where I was in high school. It's quite achievable. I'm ready. Except. Except well it's coming into Autumn. A weakness will be on the shelves soon. That pure sugar, either love it or hate it candy. Yep I'm talking candy corn. I love the stuff. The good thing though is that even I, Queen of the sweet tooth, find it even a bit too sweet. So I never eat too much in one sitting. Where as you put a Cadbury fruit & nut bar in front of me ( I mean the bigger bar) I will go animal on that thing if I'm in a chocolate mood. Candy is odd with me, I have my moods. I'd rather have some form of baked good.  My mom was just the opposite, she'd pick candy every time. Now Dad, he's not as much a sweet eater, he likes them, he can put a hurtin on a pie but he's one a night. He has a cup of tea and a little something sweet to end his night. A donut or slice of pound cakes a few biscuits or cookies. He's a balanced eater. Yeah, I may look like him but I have my moms eating habits.  Lol. I love cooking though.  So I've been making good dinners, lots of veg. No red meat. But I sense a nice steak is coming. Now, if I will stop thinking of candy corn.  Lmao
     It's interesting, I've noticed it's easier these days to be a bigger gal. More and more people are rooting for a "real woman" body. Which I'm not sure what a real woman means. If your born with a pussy you're a woman. Just be happy in the body you have, change what you want for YOUR READONS whatever they are.
     Oh hey I'm a redhead again. Hubs asked so sure, I am going to go a slight shade darker as I used a similar formula I used to but before I put it on brown hair and this time I put it on blonde so it turned out a bit brighter than I wanted.  If you watch the show Castle, think Castle's daughter Alexis.  It's pretty but I need a bit richer. I also need to get a 30 developer, for the grays. Shhh don't tell. :-D
Well peeps, I'm out so until next time ciao for now

Sucks Big Time

Those who know me know I hate not knowing, today I am not sure if I did something, I don't think so but I was kidding with someone and it ended abruptly. Not bad but emails you can't tell. So I'm here just waiting to hear. And to bring it home, hubs is a bit more than a little tipsy, he's okay but on a tightrope of going off or staying calm. I'm here trying to play nice nice so nothing happens that I'm going to regret, like yelling. I understand he's in pain, I just hate he feels he has to get drunk, then gets stupid. Ugh. I just want today over.  

Ciao for now. 

Feeling Right Now

Apprehensive, nervous, scared, curious oh so curious, hopeful .........

So ....

Now it's time to follow MY DREAMS, and catch one or two of them :-D

Lets Start At The Very Beginning...

     Okay when I started this blog, what seems like eons ago, I was focused on weight loss. I have strayed from this, and it's gone to a daily report of my life, well guess what? I ain't that interesting!! LOL  What??!! You are saying to yourself, why my dear you are enthralling.  Okay, I just made myself chuckle, but really, I was faithfully writing every day, then I skipped a few days and now weeks at a time.  I am not sure why. That's a lie actually, I do know. Life got hard for a year, hubs out of work, me stressing over money and feeling like shit over it. I was lucky to have an amazing support group around me and I saw (and see) things a bit more clearly. I've learned how to budget (who knew), what matters in my life and I am now ready to face my secondary challenges again. So here goes.
     I purged myself of all my old things, clothes, make-up, friends. LOL  That last one was more Facebook than any other. I went through my list and deleted several folks that I had not spoken to in years. They were co-workers who have moved on or old friends from NY and the funny thing is I have not gotten any emails wondering why, so I highly doubt they even noticed.
   I've gone back on my fitness pal and been doing pretty well. There are been a few days I've been over my calories but I'm down 11 pounds. Today I was below my calorie intake until.......da da dum!!! I had 4 tiny peppers and a fiber one bar so let's add an additional 180 calories to my day. I'm over - by 10 calories, but it's still over.  Thing is I ate raw peppers and a low calorie bit of cake. I didn't change the day plan but I know it. I'm not sharing my food diary so it's only me that sees it, I'm not fooling anyone. Lol   I will do it.  I'm changing. I let myself throw a huge pity party this year and I gained weight and lost self esteem. But I'm slowly gaining them back. I dyed my hair red again. It's a bit brighter than I anticipated. I realized my error, last time I dyed my hair I was going from light brown to auburn, and this time I went blonde to auburn. I used the same ratios and well yeah, lighter. It's not horrible but it's not me. I can handle it for now, I'll change it in a few weeks. Have to give my hair time to strengthen a little.  I hope the remainder of this year brings more good things. I hope I get to see my friend from England if he comes to the states. It's 2 years since I went over there. It's time.
     I had to force myself to step on the scale, glad I did and the result was decent.  I have a gal friend who is thinking of getting gastric bypass surgery. The thought scares me, I've thought about it too, but I don't want to lose hundreds of pounds. I'm okay doing it slowly as long as I don't die. Lol it's hard I'm not lying, I'm not as good as I should be but gods I love Chinese food and oh man Thai food like Pad See Ew and Pad Thai just teases me. But I figure every once in a while will be a treat.  Lots of chicken and fish. Not too much red meat. Little by little.
     Well so I will be posting more weight things, aspirations, recipes, poems. More like the old blog complete with my spelling mistakes lol.  So until next time, ciao for now.

So How You All been?

     I've been under the weather as of late, it started Sunday and it continues on.  Its odd, I have great moments and then it hits, I feel the need to get sick so I run to the toilet, then feel better, haven't been eating much, have been home from work all this week and here it is Thursday and its my first day back. I'm freezing to the point my teeth are literally chattering.  I'll live, LOL  I haven't told Sis or my Dad, no need to as I'm on the mend.
     So not much going on since I've done nothing but keep the cat company so far this week. LOL  I think hubs and I are venturing into Lancaster this weekend for a day trip on Saturday. Its about an hour and a half drive for us. We like to go there but haven't in so long, I think its time again.  I need some fresh air :-D
     I'm thinking of going auburn again. Not sure will see. I have to go to the beauty supply store and look at the shades. I like to mix colors. I know the color I want to get to. I will see if I can accomplish it again.  LOL  it's this one

Looking a bit shaggy there but I like the reddish tones, I have no idea what shade (shades) this was but I'll get it one day. I had just discovered the hair straightener when I took this pic. LMAO
so I think its time to go back into the lab and play mad doctor.
     Thats it for now really, I'll be back soon   Ciao for now

Whoot whoot

     Thank the Goddess that things are turning around. I'd never boast that they are great because I'm not that proud and I don't want bad luck.  Hubs worked hard to get a job, I'm thrilled for him. I'm thrilled that I have been diligent and in 3 weeks have lost just over 9 pounds. I know it's the water deal but it's a good start.  That's enough now.  I'm happy but not boastful. So many other bigger things going on, even in my world.  Got the chance to have a nice girls night with a friend from work. She's a very nice lady, wish I knew a nice guy for her. Don't we always say that? Lol I mean it though.  Sis is busy, and she's getting her first ink very very soon. Wish I could be there fir it but we will be getting our sister ink soon as well. We found a pattern we like and she is going to speak to her artist about it. I mentioned a possible watercolor background, small, light.  I'm excited, haven't gotten new ink in a long time.  I've been thinking of a Libra tattoo and this seemed perfect.  I do have a larger piece I want.  I want to do roses on my right shoulder going down to cover my titty kitty. Yes flowers will be on top of my right tit. im thinking spring/summer for that.  I need to pay more bills first.
     I sat outside on the deck for awhile tonight while drinking my Lady Grey tea. I can feel it, the seasons are changing. It's still very hot out, but the highs are not near 100 now, more 90 and a little below. I feel stronger. I always do this time of year, I am a true Autumn Child. I come alive in this season. I feel better that my hair was cut, and it's one color again. Lol oh it was so bad, long and getting very, as a good friend says, 80's rocker chick.   I am that a little, but I love all kinds of music. I listen to most of the links all my friends list on FB wether I mention it or not. I even word eye make- up today.  I am still getting that strange pain in my right side. It comes and goes, not sure what it is but all in good time.  I need to get a mammogram soon, ugh I hate them.  You can't wear deodorant and they squish your tits so tight. Its
     Had a bit of a chat with a dear pal who was in hospital.  I'm so glad he's out and recovering. He's bored as fuck, good sign. Lol. I've been there, you put on smiles for everyone but you think a lot. It shows he's healing to be bored. I'm glad he's smart enough to do what he needs to. Miss the shit out of him, hope to see him before the year is out.
     Well peeps, my iPad is at 30% and I'm going to take off that make up I put on.  So ciao for now.

I didn't have anything to say until now. LOL

     I know I haven't posted much lately, but life has started going up hear I daresay. In no way do I want to jinx this. It's been so fucking hard, but as the song says I get by with a little help from my friends.  Well mainly Sis. She has been my rock through this. Love her to bits.  We're getting sister ink too. We are both Libras so the starpattern will happen. I'm looking so forward to it, I want new ink soon. Lol.
     I was leaving work today and there were about 10 little guys all on their power lawn mowers. They looked like Oompa Loompas lol.  I made myself giggle all the way to my car. Hehe
     I tell ya, I was so out of it. Stress it makes you wilt like a lettuce leaf in a sunny backyard salad. I'm feeling more like myself, and I even made myself get on the scale. I figured I wanted to know where I was starting from, ya know? So I close my eyes, get on, open my eyes look down and wow, I'm down 9.5 pounds since my dr appointment. I would have sworn I had gained. I was ready for the gain, but was very happy with the results.  I'm feeling more like me. Hubs just grabbed me when I said that and his response was "yep, that's you!"  He's so good he made a lovely light spaghetti primavera for dinner.
     I must say, I have been staying away from social media a lot. It's the political posts I can't take. I swear, this one or that one. Spin doctors in overdrive.  I hate them both.  I wish I could fast forward to  November so it's all over. Then we can see what will happen. It seems we are going backwards. Now I love retro and vintage, but not in civil and just plain human rights.  I hate no one except hateful people, radical groups who hate and kill. I'm a simple soul, a cute, round, tattooed, short simple soul. :-D
  So not a huge long blog but I figured I'd ease back into it. So ciao for now lovelies.