Just saying (one last thought before bed)

Today actually was a good day and life is good and I have so much to be thankful for and look foward to and oh yea one more thing....it's almost February and I want to say I can't wait for Valentines day at work. We have 4 newly married or engaged ladies and I can only imagine the throws of flowers that will be arriving. Yuckies! Not going to dwell have too much to look forward to in my own life. Lol can't eat chocolate now anyway :-)

So I'm snacking away at work

    On my new freeze dried broccoli and making everyone try them.  I love broccoli and I think they taste great, several people liked them as well. Then there were the few who spit them out. LOL I figure if I'm bored and I start to want something it's better to snack on these or the green beans instead of greasy bad things.  Today actually I changed my food up a bit I had a huge salad for lunch as always but to day I ate it with chili.  I bought organic chili that has no corn syrup or artificial anythng and it was very good. I think just the fact that it wasn't chicken made it already good but it's nice to change up no and again.  Tomorrow morning is the gym. I hope I dont hit snooze and fall back asleep as today was really busy and frankly; I'm tired!! 
     I mean it was like I had 5 people at my desk at one time busy. I didn't even get to look at my emails for over an hour.  As usual though now at this time it slows down so I come here and vent, moan, laugh , cry whateveer is in my head.   You know the is one thing I do think about sometimes? The other website I am on;  many of the people there have webcams and then will get on and do shows or use toys (I'm not talking tinker toys) for others to watch, put all nude photos up and in a weird way part of me is jealous.  I remember being younger and doing things kind of similar but obviously not as accessable by the masses as it is today with better technology. I mean hell I worked at a phone sex line and then was a phone girl at a brothel in Manhattan. (NO touchies of ANY KIND, I just spoke to the guys and booked appointements and greeted them at the door and showed them where to go for the lady working that day)  I am NO PRUDE, but yea I have a hubby and I dont think he would like me to post nudes of me all over the internet. Part of me wants to say "Honey, I could make good money" LOL  then there is my actual personality that likes to keep those pics and actions private only for those who in my life had  been special!  (Boyfriends people - boyfriends) So I guess I will just look at other pics and let them have their fun, as one day they will pass the torch to the next group :-D
     Nudity never really bothered me, still doesn't.  I actually had a 20 minute conversation years ago with my old roomate and he was totally naked the entire time. Thing is I never noticed at first, meaning it didnt phase me at all and then we both noticed he was "nekkid" (LOL) and he jumped with both feet at the same time into the tub and closed the curtain. I almost pee'd myself laughing so hard.  No biggie at any one time there were butts and willies and boobies walking around that place. It had no impact, it was just us!  On occasion though I have been self conscious of my body but that is no longer true. I still want to change things and as I so eliquantly put in my other blog I want to get things tucked up, but all in all I am happy with my results and still working in me!   Does anything or everything I have written so far make sense? I hope so becasue I am thinking as I type and that can be scary, as I know what I mean.  :-D
     I am thnking I will actually stop here becasue I have too many thngs I want to say and I will sort them through then come on back here hehehe  so I wil say good night now and as always, Ciao For Now.

It was indeed a MONDAY!!

     Well folks I have to say I stepped on the scale today and I had set a weight I wanted to be at by this time, which is 6 months. I am pleased to say that as of this morning at 9:30 AM eastern time I weighed in at 2 pounds UNDER that weight!!!  WHOOT WHOOT!!  It really is a roller coaster ride and the irony is when I'm down to my goal weight the one thing I can't wait to do again is ride a roller coaster. HAHAHAHA  
     I find that my emotions have been on a similar ride. In general my outlook is good but man when it's not ..LOOK OUT!! I will cry at the drop of a hat. Remember the crying jag I had a few weeks back, things like that happen.  I will come home occasionally from work so stressed out and go into the bathroom to change out of my work clothes and will sit on the side of the tub and get teary as I change.  I almost laugh at myself but it actually clears my head. I don't know,  maybe it's just how I de-stress. It happened a lot the first 2 months when we were so busy at work but it's not really occuring as things are quieting down (very slowly).  I cry when I'm happy too.  I am just an emotional puffball!! LMAO
     Speaking of work (God I love my segues don't I?) I swear I try to keep a positive view while I am at work but sometimes the things my reps do; I want to strangle them!! Not that you know our systems, but common sense tells a person that if you come to me for help and just spew out the situation but do not tell me who this is for and/or if there has been any tickets already opened that may in fact have pertinent information on them how the "fook" am I supposed to help? With out knowing to whom we are speaking of,  I can only state general policy, & not anything specific. This rep today IM'd me 6 times and not once gave me the ID# of the employee calling!! So even when I IM'd back stating that I need it, I still didn't get it until I asked again!!  ARRRGGGHHHH!!! I could scream sometimes, really I can. So I take a breath, and keep going but somedays it really gets to me. Whew I feel better now!  Had to vent that LMAO
     I was looking at pictures of my friends the other day and I am friends with damn GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE!!  Really they are and they are also all very funny. Nothing special, just an statement of fact. So yes my friends you are all hotties!!  :-D   Whew I take weird side trips when I write a blog ;-D
     I am looking forward to going home tonight as I have a meeting with a hot wet steamy............bubble bath!!  lol  I made some more bath salts over the weekend and they feel so good to soak in and they smell really great also.  I use sea salt,  safflower & almond oils, vitimin E, essential oils like cassia and cloves, I also use vanilla and lavender for relaxing, which is what tonights is.  I sometimes use sugar instead of salt and the results are just as good when used as a scrub but since everything is natural you want to taste the sugar scrubs. :-D Yea they taste pretty good! hehehe
     So here is where I say good bye for tonight, seems as good a spot as any. As always until next time Ciao For Now.

As We Get Ready For The Week

     I'm here trying to get my hiccups to stop. Holding my breath isn't helping and making it hard to type. So as they seem to be lessening I will let them run their course. Today I was on a mission to find a perfect chili recipe. It's yummy, warm on a cold day and Phase One friendly and it's NOT bunny food. Not that it won't be served with salad but it's not the main course. It's going well on Phase One and the scale is moving n the right direction. I am quite pleased about that!! :-) lol

     Speaking of Phase One, well not really but I needed a segue, I had hubs take a nude photo of me. He did not wait for me to pose so the view he got was, shall we say, not flattering. I was not happy with what I saw.  Now look I am fine with me and know that I have a long way to go (I WILL GET THERE) but I realized something I hadn't thought of.   I had spoken with my doctor on the facts that when you lose a good amount of weight there will be some skin sagging. She figured that I shouldn't be too bad as I never yo-yo'd but I would need to exercise , no problem but even so I will need some altering on my body. As we know I want to get bigger boobs but looking at that pic there may be a nip here and tuck there but here's the thing. I've heard the term once, but I may (most likely will) need a Growler tuck! OMFG!!!!!!!!!  I was shocked as it never even dawned on me. I immediately felt embarrassed by her and immediately felt weird about anyone, who over the years, has seen her. I looked at my hubby and wanted to cut him off too.  Then my mind cleared and I scolded myself. YES there is a 99.99% chance I will have that done,  but in the meantime those I had been with didn't run away so just snap out of it Mary, I yelled to myself. I obeyed myself quickly!! LOL I suppose there will always be moments of feeling inferior;  as there will always be those whose bodies I just envy and wish mine was more like. Then I remember Jo-Ann's words to me..."I want to get to where you are"  Sanity settled in for a long stay. FUCK IT...this is me, take me or leave me.  Growler tuck  lol sounds kind of funny doesn't it?  It doesn't really growl, can purr though!! Oh my she went there!! Of course I did this is me writing this blog.  I tried being demure and quiet but it's not who I am.  LOL

     Weekend was calm aside from my jaunt to get my hair done. Introduced the hubby to a new show. It's called Sherlock and we watched the first two episodes.  Now apart from him being a Sherlock fan, he's also quite clever himself, and he and his 186 IQ figured everything out way before the end. In all fairness to me, the first one was very close to an old movie but the second was a new story. That's why I hate watching CSI with him, he figures the whole thing out right away. :-D  He told me that Sherlock Holmes was the reason he started smoking a pipe. HAHA

     Feeling quite relaxed at the moment, my head is in a very good place lately, I feel good about my relationship with hubby & just as secure in my friendships and my outlook has found a smile on my face this past week. Prior weeks I admit were a struggle in that area. So not a lot to blog tonight.

        I did just spew out a very short (maybe 12 sentences long) story. I'll post it here and let it be my ending for tonight....

She saw the picture and all she could focus on were his fingers. She wanted to kiss and suck each fingertip. She closed her eyes as a smile appeared on her face. She imagined all over again, how those fingers felt inside her. Oh how she longed to feel them once more. How perfectly they manipulated her, how no one had ever brought her to that pinnacle the way he did. She felt her body respond to this one thought, and fire rose up inside her. She looked at the photo again, she wanted those fingers and would not be ashamed to beg for them, although,  she did toy with the idea of just taking what she wanted. Yes, he would like that she thought. With this in her mind she smiled again................

 Told you it was short :-D    As always, Ciao for Now.

It has arrived...The Weekend!!

     Well happy Friday everyone. I really was thinking what I was going to say in my blog tonight and I am drawing a blank....  looks like this! 



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA    okay okay  I know ...hillarious! :-D

Well basically I am just glad the week is over. Although I will say this morning when I was leaving for work I had to check my calendar as it was 60 degrees! It's almost February and I would have thought it would be a little, okay A LOT,  colder but I enjoyed not having to wear a coat today. There was some thunder earlier that morning which added to the Spring illusion the day was playing.

     I like cold winters, winters shoud be cold! I remember when I went to see the groundhog in Punxytawny PA years back, it was really cold and he predicted an early Spring. Well my friend and I reached our hotel room and crashed since we had gone out the night before to The Groundhog Ball (I kid you not!!) then we were up at 4:30AM (after maybe 2 hours sleep) to get ready for the bus that would take us to Gobbler's Knob for the 7AM weather prediction. Well needless to say we slept for many hours and when we woke up it was snowing like crazy, early Spring my ass!! HAHAHA  it was a fun time though.  Here's a few pics and in one of them, as you will see, I have no clue what was up with my hat!! LOL

Now as for my first week on Phase 1, I weighed in again this morning and have lost just under 7 pounds in a week. I know this will slow down in a few weeks but I needed the jump start. My friend told me his wife lost 14 pounds in  2 weeks, thats just wonderful, so happy for her and she is just a gorgeous woman!! Aren't we all though ;-) lol   AHH I do okay, I don't break mirrors LOL   I had a co-worker take a pic of me today so I will show it here. Those of you who know me I hope can see the difference, to those who don't here is the proof, that I am indeed a round chick but I am fine with that. People always told me to get in shape....I would say I am....round is a shape!! :-D   So here you have it, me after about 5 1/2 months of eating better........TADA>>>>>

    Sorry its paled out but we discovered that the white case I have on my phone gives the pics this odd haze when the flash is used.  I will take more when I have nicer clothes on. Today is casual Friday at work so I'm in jeans and my shelltops!  LOL

     Well Ladies & Gents I am going to say goodnight. I have a few things to do here and as it always seems as of late I may add to this later if not over the weekend at some point I'm sure.  So enjoy your weekend and Ciao For Now.

Tomorrow..you're only a day away!!!!

     What's awesome is that tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!  I am going to see after my hair appointment if hubs wants to get away and go to this uber funky new Hotel line by Sheraton. Its called Aloft.  This is the one I want to go to. http://www.starwoodhotels.com/alofthotels/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=3025
I have a groupon for only $60.00 for the night. Just to have a change of scenery. Sometimes thats all you need.  
     I swear last night he had me laughing so hard I almost wet myself. There was a commercial from when we were kids and it was a guy dressed up like a fig and dancing. It was an ad for Fig Newton cookies.  He starts doing this dance & singing the song in the bedroom last night and I just starred. Then he does this shake yer booty dance and mind you all he is wearing is underwear. I'm like shake it baby!!  It was so random and that was why it was hillarious! It's times like these you think to yourself "Yes  THIS is one reason I married this person" I love glimpses like that. I mean we have been together almost 18 years and over time you get a bit complacent. Then BOOM your spouse does something that just makes you fall in love all over again!! :-D  We have recently been trying to re-vamp ourselves and really concentrating on what's important.  That being us, our home and life. 
Due to a few physical restrictions such as arthritis, hubby is not as agile as he once was, and that on top of a bad back makes for many nights home.  I like to go out, always have.  So we have started doing small overnight jaunts, like the one I'm shooting for if not this weekend maybe next.  He also has no issue with me seeing friends, even for overnights and of course when I go to NY. I in turn will do the things that on weekends we used to do together, this way he can relax and I go shopping for groceries myself. He doesnt have to walk around a huge store, things of that nature. Of course we still go places together, especially a bookstore, we both can get lost in those. Hard to put into words it appears LOL   Oh he mentioned going to play frisbee golf soon as the weather gets a bit warmer and I love that game. You get to be outside, lots of walking and it's fun. I want us to get out more often and excercise.
     Speaking of that, I am headed to the gym in the AM then back home and then work! I am doing really well back on Phase 1 and actually I find it easier to keep within the guidelines. I think phase 2 offers me too much selection that I can justify to suit my needs  LOL  I need discipline, so I think for awhile I will stay on Phase 1. For special occasions I will have a few drinks and eat what I want but I know me I still will be sensible, meaning no heavy carb laden foods. I have a renewed sense of purpose in the past few days, I have reason to really get my ass in gear. I still have that flight across the Atlantic in a year.  I have a beautiful photo of London on my wallpaper now and it just reminds me of the trip and my reason to be fit. I was told by my friend who lives there and by my friends who have visited, it's a lot of walking and I want to see everything I can!! 
     I was invited to a Super Bowl party by my friend here at work and I am going.  I know almost everyone and it should be really fun. I am bringing food as I am sure most things there I will not be able to eat. I am making a huge crockpot of chili! Lean meat and beans and spices...YUMMY. Will bring 2% cheese for me and regular for everyone else.  Plus the baby will be there and I get to play with her. She's a cutie pie. Hubs is of course invited too but doubt he will go, he doesn't like football. I myself am not overly fond of it but I do like the NY GIANTS plus the commercials are always the best part!  I find myslef watching European football often. I really am beginning to like that game, just wish I understood it better. Even hubs will watch that! His opinion is that it's much better than our football which to him seems like and I quote "Neanderthals running after each other just to beat on the guy with the ball"  LOL  He says "proper" football involves more skills and I am in accord with that!! :-D  No offense to anyone who loves American football please.
     So that is my daily wind down, nothing crazy & nothing odd,  just me. Although by defination I AM both of those  hahahahaaha  So I bid you all farewell and as always  CIAO FOR NOW!!
    

Wednesday again

     Well I have to say this one is much better than last week. Work has been busy but again not as frantic and getting to the gym has helped me mentally.  It really has and I find myself moving a bit faster. Although my knee is still quite stiff,  and it borders on the feeling that if I take just one unplanned step or trip a little it could go out again. I have been doing this excercise that a friend told me where I put a ball between my knees and squeeze them. It helps, and I think, no, I know as I lose more weight it will feel even better!!!  Well here's a fine how do you do. Remember I said my scale was broken well I was actually right. Go figure. It had been working fine but in the last few weeks it had not moved. Well Hubs was weighed at the doctors and he stepped on it Sunday an it was way off. Now it had been correct with my doctor several monthsd ago, but who knows when it went bad. So I stepped on it this morning and lost 3 pounds so I am officially with new scale down that 43 pounds   as I have  feeling i gained more than the 5 I thought over the holidays. it was probably more like 8 but all gone now and we are back to where I thought I was last week  LOL I am there though and that's what matters.   See I'm not losing for looks or to like myself more, it's health and fitness fo me. Saw a pic today and I am putting it right here now:

Such true words. You need to love yourself no matter how much you weigh. The thing is when you get made fun of and tormented you start to believe what you hear.

I think that things are shifting for thr better but there will alwasy be bullies. Well to those bullies in my past I shout to you:  You didn't win!! I am here and I am beautiful!! I am not perfect but I love me and have others who do as well. So if you thought you would scar me for life, I'm here to say YOU WERE WRONG!!

     I have found a new interest or passtime if you will.  I am taking recipies and really re-working them to fit Carb friendly menus. I am making salads with odd combos that actually taste really good.  Tonight I took 15 of my alloted 30 pistacios and sprinkled them on my salad, along with chopped egg, 2% cheese, romaine lettuce, grape tomatoes and 3 oz of lean meat. Drizzle of ranch dressing and yum. The thing about eating well is planning it out.  I now have claimed the bottom drawer of our work fridge LOL  I have a weeks worth of hard boiled eggs , salad makings, and dressings. As well as snacks. I tell ya, I feel like all I do is eat when I am on Phase 1.  My manager noticed today that I'm snaking and she's right. As thats the plan but I'm snaking on string cheese or a tblsp of peanut butter with celery. Not chips or cookies so Im getting full but not with bad things.  oh but my friends tonight i decided to have my sweet treat here at work.  Who doesn't love Reese's peanut butter cups?  So I made a cup of sugar free hot chocolate, at 60 calories (I'm allowed up to 100 calories as a treat a day) then I added a heavy tsp (allowed 2 tblsp) to it and stirred it up and it was so good!! I know, I'm no Julia Child but it really satisfied my sweet tooth. Hey we do what we can :-)

     So did you like my bee story. I love stuff like that. It appeals to my simple life admiration. I love homeade things and to keep beed for honey?! Genius!!  I was waiting for him to say he bought a cow  for mild and cheese. LMAO

Another interesting day was here in VA with Hubs.  We are close to lots of government places arounf these parts, NOAA, US Geological Survey, the list goes on.  Well one day we went for a drive and ended up at a cool park that I did not know was home to several underground nuclear missle launch sites.  We went into this dome, it was all rusted and there was this huge disk in the middle. Well apparently years ago there was a missle in there that would have been launced as an attack. Little eerie but interesting. Glad we are al friends now as that stuff is yes, interesting but scares me too!  Hubs knew it so then he took me to a little grove near a reservoir that was just a swarm of wysteria and honeysuckle. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful the air smelt. We just sat there for awhile enjoying it and even tasted the honeysuckle.  Then we went out to dinner and ate on a dock looking over the water. I kept tossing bread into it to get the ducks to swim down by us and we were naming them.  Here's a little secret, I love things like that!!!  I think that when you do even the most simple things, they can be the greatest memories!

     Well i am goign to wind this down, oh I have more but don't have the time to formulate my thoughts. Working on something here and I need to figure how I am going to do this. I'm having a bit of trouble and may just have to wait to speak with my manager tomorrow.   So I bid you adeiu, and as always,  Ciao for now! :-D

Random Thought

Funny sometimes the thoughts in your head before you fall asleep. There's fog tonight so the air is a bit close in our bedroom so we have a fan on low to circulate the air. It's causing the chimes I have by the window to occasionally sound. It's really quite calming and making my mind wander. I just remembered something that I don't know; just wanted to share. I was with the hubs and my dear Melissa and her hubby. We were at another friend's home and he kept bees. Yea he did! He showed us the crates with the screens and it was just amazing. What was more amazing was they paid us humans no mind. He was like the bee whisperer or something. LOL he then told us look up. People!!! There was a stream of bees going back and forth over the fence. Turns out there was a field on the other side and they were collecting pollen and bringing it back and we were RIGHT UNDER THEM! It was such a cool thing to see. Then we left them to their task and went out front to sit on the grass, where our host brought out a jar of honey his bees collected. I dipped my finger in and oh man it tasted divine. So we spent the rest of the afternoon talking and tasting the wild honey. I really enjoyed that afternoon. I enjoyed telling you too. I'm always saying nothing cool ever happens but in retrospect I suppose cool things have happened. It may not be cool yo you but I'm guessing that cool is in the eye of the beholder. I think my old vision is coming back to me where I looked with. Of just my eyes but for lack of a better word, my heart. I like the view and maybe this is what they really mean by rose colored glasses. :-). Okay sleep time. Ciao

Please forgive my spelling

I was going over my blog to make sure it made some sense and I caught many spelling and grammar errors. I actually am a stickler for both of these but I notice, as I type at work, I'm typing quick and my right hand leads which is not always good. LOL also I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day now ;-). Since I am on my phone right now I can not correct my errors so just chalk them up to my exuberance of wanting to get my thoughts out for you. Hehe ciao :-)

Tuesday Afternoon

    When I was young I loved that song by the Moody Blues, as I got older and could really appreciate the entire album I fell in love with the song all over again. That's what I love about music, I think I may have said this before;  but you can listen to a song in one frame of mind and when you listen in another you hear the same exact song a very different way. It's wonderful and I love all music, some songs of course find their way on my Ipod more than others but all types and all genres. I really don't care much for country though but now and again a Brad Paisly song will attract my attention, or Jace "damn I can't think of his last name", he does the theme for True Blood, now that song I REALLY like.   Right now I am listening to a Frank Ocean song.
     Oh we are still queing like mad at work but now as the evening comes the calls are dying down for us here in benefits. Now I can't say the same for payroll and unfortunately as supervisor I have to wait for everyone to be done before I can leave,  but I have hopes for tonight :-D  I inquired if we were going to work this Saturday and my manager more or less forbid me. Hahahaha  Well not really, but she did say that I have worked the last 2 weekends so I need to take a weekend off, so I have rescheduled my hair appointment and perhaps Hubs and I can get into some much needed mischief! Perhaps a dinner out as well. Since we are both on phase 1 of South Beach it will more than likely be Outback steakhouse.  Decent steak and a decent price plus they have veggies and salads that round out the meal. Sadly for Pat no Bloomin' Onion but I think he realizes his Bloomin' Onion days will now be far and few between. I know its weird but it really is so much easier with him doing this. it's nice to have someone to look through recipies and streamline them with. He's quite inventive and last night I made my own tomato ketchup or sauce as some of you I think call it.  It tasted really good too. We had a little on burgers.  I looked up a recipe and OMG the amount of sugar in it was unreal. I added a little Splenda but I was able to add the spices we liked and when I was done you had a very smooth aromatic, full bodied ketchup that you could taste the tomato in.  I was quite pleased with myself  LMAO :-D     
     I went to the gym today and well my knee is actually okay (knock wood). I am still going slow but I need to move this saucy ample being that is me!  I am pleased as today I went to the bathroom like 8 times so far since I got up. EWWWW but I was becoming a camel of sorts for who knows why and i feel my bounce coming back to my step. I feel almost normal again.  I mean yes I still need to get hubs to come with me to Ikea so we can pick out our kitchen cabinets. It will look so pretty and at that point we will buy a new refridgerator. We are using the little one but it works since we both eat mainly at work during the week.
     Speaking about eating at work, I was sitting here at lunch today chomping on grape tomatoes like bon-bons. Popping them into my mouth as I did my work. I feel like I eat more when I South beach proper and I do really, 2 main meals and 2 small snack meals. But it works and its my own food. Ack enough about food.  :-D
     Got an email from Jo-Ann today and it was so nice to read. She si funny and we were talking about that show Mob Wives. She loves it. I have never seen it but I have seen commercials for it.  I don't know the women on ther are so stereo typical New jersey/ Brooklynish Italian Mob views. Big hair, lots of make up, lots of ornate surroundings....basically it looks like my Cousin Joannas house! LOL  Yep I don't need to watch it as i have lived it.  Remember the scene in Goodfellas when they are introducing Henry around?  All the names were the same, it really is my mom's side of the family (the Italian side)  In no particlular order and with no lies  we have ..Frankies, Paulies, Tonys, Roccos, Carmines, Juniors, Louies, and female we have ...Connies, Antoinettes, Maries, Donnas, Francies, Lucilles, are you getting my drift?  LOL   I can't remember a holiday get togwther that didnt have a salad course, a macaroni (pasta if you will) course, then a meat course and  naturally a dessert course!!  I was doomed at the start.  I learned how to make sauce at ten, meatballs followed right after and Tiramisu by age 13. I have since improved on that and make one of the best I  have tasted and thats from other people not from me!!  :-D  Yes I'm bragging  LMAO   Yea I know I said no more talk of food.    Okay I'll stop now :-D
     I feel the stirrings of life being good again, things got buried for some odd reason and I am really starting in this past wek to feel better about everything. I dont knwo why. Do we ever know why we have these changes of heart? I am just glad I was able to muddle through it and well here we are at the end of my blog for the night. Thank you for participating and the management hopes you have had a good time. Do come back :-D    Oh and of course.....Ciao for now ;-D

New Week/Fresh Start

     Well the day started cold with freezing rain outside,  but my bed was so comfy warm as I kept hitting snooze. I tried not to disturb my kitty who was sleeping right next to me with her head on my leg, enjoying the folds of the blanket as much as I was. She lifted her head once to make sure it was still sleep time. Hubs left for work and we chatted before he braved the weather, as 99% of the time I am awake when he leaves. I hate when he goes to work in bad weather, today not only had icy roads but fog on top of it. But all is well as I spoke with him later.  I weighed myself as soon as I was done in the bathroom and still the same. I swear the scale has frozen!! Its not moving and tomorrow I go to the gym so hopefuly the movement will push start me again. Its so weird too;  I am drinking so much water but not, well, shall we say expelling it, so I feel really weighed down. This causes my face to puff up hahaha  I swear I'm not kidding. I must have been a puffer fish in a past life. (bet you are puffng your cheeks right now :-D) Got dressed and headed to another week at work.
     If you have been following me you know work has been, in a word, hell! Today was not too bad but still very hectic. I feel so bad for our reps and I got snappy a few times which I later apologized for to the the ones I did act that way. I didnt apologize for the repromand, just for the way it was delivered. We all need a good long HAPPY HOUR! Its now almost a joke in of itself, nothing you can do but just trudge on. I rarely take lunch or breaks so this is my down time for 20 minutes. I needed to see another screen on my computer.  LOL
     Well I suppose the big news is that the New York Giants will be playing in the Super Bowl. They will play the New England Patriots. Last time they did this (2007) they won and most people I spoke to today think it will happen again! I hope so, would be nice :-D
      I want to take a moment to say thank you to all of you who have been reading my blogs through my weird week or so. I think the cloud is passing and I can say I feel better today than I have in a long time. I re read my last few blogs and that last one sounded just wrong , I mean friends on stand-by!? THAT JUST SOUNDS TERRIBLE and not how I meant it at all.
     There are so many other more important things to put my energy too.  Me being one of those.  Hubs has started South Beach Diet and so far he is doing well. I know he wants to drop about 50 pounds. I can say its a lot easier to do this with him doing it as well. How sad that I can't wait to get home to have my sugar free jello desert with him LOL I like sharing things with him and last night we geeked out with Dr.Who shorts and bloopers on you tube (as I mentioned already) .  Another inportant thing was shown to me today in the form of a charity walk. A friend is doing a walk for cancer and I am proud that her and her girls are doing this. Its a disease that hits so many people, myself included.  I believe its a many mile walk as well so even more power to them. I don't think I could do a walk around the mall mush less miles and miles right now.  I wish I could donate more but i have a cancer charity here in the states I give to every year plus one for animals and speaking of them.... Another friend on facebook (same family actually  LOL) posted a photo of this poor poor dog. Beautiful German Shepard who had a high power firecracker put in his mouth and tied so it would go off in it. The photo was the kind where you had to look at the detruction of this pitiful creature's mouth or I should say where the mouth should have been. How the dog was still alive I have no idea! His entire muzzle was gone. I felt my tears starting and all I could thnk of was I hope the boys who did this were castrated slowly!! I cant understand why anyone would purposly hurt another living creature for just the fun. I am not talking about people who go hunting and then eat the meat, I fully understand that. But if I feel like just shooting a gun for sport I will go to a range and not shoot innocent animals. (LOOK OUT SHE'S SHOT A GUN  LOL) I had a friend who would hunt every year. I was called a hypocrite because I was always impressed by the deer he brought back. Okay first he was a police officer and a great shot. He would go to the butcher and have the animal done proper and he ate the venison. He also tanned the hides and had them in his summer lodge. He spoke about the animal with respect, I can't explain it really what I mean, but he was thankful for the animal. He didnt kill it to see it suffer! OOH can you tell I love animals   LOL   That was a hell of a soapbox serman. :-D  (All I kept seeing was the scene in My Cousin Vinny when he's going deerhunting. hehehehe       
     Here's a funny story --- I had never had venison until about 14 years ago when a man who hubs works with gave us some venison burgers (or as hubs called them bambi burgers just to bug me) and they were quite good.  So I eat my first venison ever in my life and the next night I'm driving and out of nowhere this youngling comes out of the woods and is pacing my car. Running right along side it. Im like OMG then next thing you know he turns and smashes into my car. It happened so fast but I freaked!! I was yelling like a jerk and hubs was trying to calm me down and we pulled off to the roadside. I couldn't open my door I was terrified the little deer was stuck in and under my car.  The man behind me in the road had followed us onto the side and asked my hubby if I was okay. Turned out the deer had run off back into the woods after hitting me. YES HE HIT ME!!  That moment I swore I would never knowingly eat venison again. It's like I was punished for eating it the night before HAHAHA  I know its not true but I'm not taking any chances!! (yea Im a dork I've told you so!! LOL)
    Ah people I think herself is coming back.  :-D   So now that I've preached, ponderd and perplexed you all I will say as always, Ciao for now! :-D
  

Sunday Round Up

     Okay first The Giants are tied with the 49ers 17 up ...I don't follow closely but I want to see my NY team in the Super Bowl!!

     Well looking at my last blog I would say I was having a moment there. LOL I was and today I really felt spent, I basically ate breakfast because I had too (was getting dizzy not eating) read my kindle for hours and then made dinner while hubs did the laundry, bless him. I needed to re-charge and after sitting for several hours in one position I truly can appreciate ergonomics now! lol I really am not needy and I'm sure so many of you are going yea right tell us another fairy story. No really I am needy when no one is close to me. I called my friend in Maine today too but got voice mail. I really want to talk with her but my point is when I lived in the same house as her it could be days between having chats. I know you dont believe me but I'm weird that way. I guess its very childish of me, like I dont want to play with that toy but I want to know it's there  in case I do. Now of course my friends mean much more than a toy but I think you get my drift. Well time to suck it up and put the big girl panties on, which I just purchased a new bunch of. really cute with florals and lace tops on them. LOL

     I was hoping to have lots to talk about but nope , nada.  I didnt even get to my hair appointment as the weather was so bad in the early AM, very icy on the roads that all I did was go into work for 5 hours. Hopefully soon I will have an adventure :-0 

     I had really bad dreams too after my crying jag Saturday night. I dreamed that hubby died. I KNOW!!! WTF??! I think the being alone thing is happening way to much in my thoughts so I need to force myself to do things I haven't done in a while. Like go to the friggin gym. its so easy to fall back into old patterns. yes i should have gone today and I know that ...NOW!!! I'm running like I'm trying to catch a butterfly and I need to stay still and I know it will come to me.  As a friend mentioned to me, I really do need to stop and think a moment before I speak...good advice!! Well since there is no major anything at the moment I am going to shower and go to bed. Monday starts and I need to be refreshed and ready :-) so again until next time CIAO

2:30!am

Hello people of the world. I am lying in bed and can't sleep. I am so tense and frustrated right now more than I have have been in such a long time. Look we all have issues and they are all important and I know in the grand scheme of life my complaints are petty but damn! Between husband ills, work being fooked, no one near me to hang out with, I just want to scream!! I come here to vent I guess because lets face it no one really wants to hear your shit. They have their own problems. Mine isn't a problem it's just life and sometimes it gets overwhelming. Wow I wonder if this is how I get with people sometimes? Sorry if I do. I just wish I could call someone right now to talk but it's early morning everyone is sleeping! Okay I am outta here as the tears are making it hard to type and see. Night all and if it's day there ....enjoy!

Sometimes things JUST happen!! (minor vent Im sorry)

     So goes my weekend. There are numerous things that will not be going on, the main event is of course the girls weekend. The one girl had a procedure done and she is still not well enough to drive, also the weather is not co-operating. What may be a small amount of snow or slush by me in VA may very well turn into a proper snowfall in PA. My snow skills are quite good being raised in NY but my car is rear wheel drive and although she performs better than you would think in local drives for a long drive like that I would not chance it. PLUS I am working now tomorrow. So the only thing that stands unchanged is my hair appointment. LOL  I am not worried about the working as I am going to help with emails. We are still so slammed and everyone who can is working. great for our hourly workers but I'm salary :-)  I am doing what I can now to help but I am taking a 30 minute dinner break to clear the cobwebs out of my brain. Like I mentioned I have no issue working tomorrow. Its going to have to be a team effort and hopefuly we will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just hoping that it's not another train ;-D 
      Another reason I want to stay home is that hubs found out today that he had type 2 Diabetes. Now side note to my SISTER IN LAW who I know on ocassion reads my blog. Please do not mention this to him, he will bring it up if he feels it. He does not need pills or injections, it's not severe but he does need to change his diet and excersise more. So he is going on South Beach phase one in the morning. I have been doing it and slighty slaking so this is just the kick I need. I am in full support of my hubs and love him and support him. We are a team so together we will get it under control and maybe even defeat it as the doctor said that's a very good possiblity. He will never have to worry as we are in this together. If anything it will make it easier I think so onward and upward. 
     Life throws you curveballs and you have to play the game you get and win!!! He will, I will too. I'm at 43 pounds now  I lost another pound.  WHOOT WHOOT  I am down almost 2 full dress sizes now. I think when the spring arrives I will go on a small shopping spree. LOL 
     It's just between work being crazy and all this medical shit going around, myself included with my knee (YEP STILL!!!) I need some fun news and I am so trying not to bug my friends as they have their own things going on.  I think that's why I was looking so forward to this girls weekend but what ya going to do?? LOL   I know  WAAA WAA WAA I sound like such a baby. Even to my own ears, so I will take a deep breath and do what needs to be done and I am SURE there are fun times ahead! 
     What was sweet though, was last night.  I was talking with my dad, as he and Mom were married January 19, 1952. I know long time ago and I didnt come along until a long time after. I called to wish him a Happy Anniversary. He was telling me how he met my mom and how it was when they first got married. You could hear the smile on his face and it was so great. Bittersweet for him I'm sure but he was laughing and I made him laugh even more, told him he worked his charm on her.  hehehehe   It made me smile thinking of the life they had. Of course I was a perfect child!! Ahem, cough , cough... ;-D  They were great parents that I didnt realize were great until I got older.  
     Random thoughts now, like I wonder if my cards made it to Merry Ol England yet?? Waiting for mine too. I bought new inks and want to play with them tomorrow and see what I can come up. I am feeling very creative lately and made  2 wall hangings.  I want to do some abstract artwork and am thinking of buying some oil paint. I've never used it so if any of you have, I welcome any suggestions on how to start. I may have to get the Bob Ross painting guide and make some "happy little trees"  LOL
     Ah my peeps, do you know how much it means when I see your countries show up on my list?  That even though you may be busy you take a few moments and read my blog. So many different places too, i have been nowhere but i try to imagine what it's like where you are, like are you from that country (Latvia or Russia, Malaysia, to name just a few) or are you maybe on a US military base. I know you all rarely leave comments but it would be so cool to hear from you , even just a hi in your language , but tell me where because I would never know. LMAO :-)
     Okay I do not thnk there wil be a Saturday blog but I am sure there wil be a Sunday round up. So until then, Ciao! :-D

ONE thing and ONE thing only

     It's almost Friday and tonight I am truly weary, so I have no blog really but I do want to share this. It's supposed to be 100% real and I just cracked up watching this. So enjoy and I will be back tomorrow night.

Ciao for now, I must go clean up after my p$%&y    bwahahaha

Belly Button Of The Week

     Yes its that day, we can almost see the weekend. For once i thnk I will be doing something this weekend.  It's a positive. Girls night in da houze!!! Haircut first so I look pretty and blonde then off to get my drunk on......I have been told to bring a certain wine by a vinyard called Cupcake. LOL I am not familiar with this but I'll try it and it's cheap about 12 bucks a bottle. I have a few bottle of a wine called periquita (dont think I spelt it right) same price range and very very good. I can only find it in NY so when I head up there I get a few bottles to keep on hand. Now want to talk good wine, my bottle Amaroni that I received for a birthday gift was exquisite!! I still have the empty bottle with a rose in it. LOL Fake one of course but it looks pretty on my craft desk.
     Speaking of desks, I have noticed over the years in offices that allwo you to shall we say express yourself desks come in several forms.   You have your bare minimum which has a PC or laptop, few binders, stapler & tape dispenser, possibly a boring desk calendar.  Nothing personal at all , like you are ready at a moments notice to pack up and go. Then there are the ones that have all that plus a few photos maybe a hand sanitizer. You may also find a small knick knack of sorts (stress balls, personal coffee mug, etc. ) all very neat and tidy but may take a little more time to clear out.  Then there are the other two which is one and one plus I call it.  You will find , pictures and mugs, and statues and all sorts of personal itmes. Some go way overboard and have stuffed animals and trophies and personalized note pads and mirrors and well all sorts of things.  I would say that mine falls in the last two. No secret I like my stuff around me BUT I also an really anal about where things go. If someone moves something I have to make sure it goes back to the exact same spot in the exact same way. Yes I am OCD office!! LOL I spend so much time at work I like having things around me.  Here's a pic what do you think?

See - I have my fairies and my coffee maker and little things that make me happy all around. They all remind me of someone, so when I am having a real crappy day, I only have to look and at something and I feel better thinking of that person. I actually had thought I lost these little S&P shakers given to me by a friend and I went nuts trying to find them!! I was just so distraught but YAY I finally found them. I am a strange child I know.
     I finally got a change to go on my social websites today, still no emails on the one from the other day.  I enjoy going on there ae some fun folks and some great photos.  I wasnt on long but today was looking at tattoos. Some really nice ink out there and on some really cute people! Hehehehe. Boys with tattoos are awesome!!! I wish hubs would get some ink, but alas no! 
      I also signed a petition going around to stop Congress from monitoring our web activities, I mean its none of their business. Big brother tried this a few years back and didnt work. Look I understand about the illegal doings but thats what law enforcement is for, as for underage kids viewing porn, thats what parents are for.  I love America I really do but our original Constitution says we have Freedom Of Speech!! They are forgetting that. I swear it would not be a tear in my eye to leave here and live in Canada or Europe (UK area preferably since thats my heritage on Dad's side) But I would miss those I love. It's just frustrating that I am taxed all year long and then major taxed again every April 15th. I am penilized becasue I have no dependants and we pay outragous amounts becasue our combined income in just enough to push us into another bracket -  SO not fair!!
     I know bitch bitch bitch , Im such a pain. So I willend my rant here and as always ciao for now.   
    

WHOOP WHOOP & YAHOO!!

     I am sure you can imagine why I am so happy, or maybe not? LOL  I am happy because I finally got my dates for my new ink. The first sitting will be on March 31st, then the next is April 28th. Both are Saturdays and both at 5:30. My artist is so booked up that those are the first days available. I don't mind as long as I know when. First sitting will be the outlines and since the fairy is actually going to be two, the image will be reversed and then the cherry blossoms will continue through the butterflies somehow  (LOL) and join the image together.  The second sitting is to do the color. Normally it would just be one long session of about 5 hours but they close at 8, so it will be 2 sessions. I can't wait. I emailed the image to her again today and she will draw the image on what I send with her additions to the joining.  So excited. I told her absolutely no changes to the original piece as I want it exactly as it was drawn for me.   I am jumping up & down (on the inside hehe)
     I just ate a lean cuisine frozen dinner as i didn't have time to prepare dinner tonight and although not bad tasting I looked at the stats and the sodium is just CRAZY!!! I can say there will not be too many of those in my future, I don't use a lot of salt and, well, I'm very sensitive to it. My ankles do not need help puffing up after a long day thank you very much!! :-D
     I think aside from getting my hair done this weekend I may be having a girls weekend. My 2 friends need one and we may just chill at one lady's house and consume mass quantities of wine. I mentioned it to my hubby last night and he said, and I quote " Oh a wine and vibrator night!" Excuse me??!! What the hell do you think we are going to do there?!  Wine yes , vibrator...ummm, well not in a group as we do have our own rooms..hehehe. Funny story -  we did that during a tattoo convention a couple of years ago. It was 4 of us in the room and we said lets all bring toys. So we laid them on the bed and took a pic, there were maybe 16 different types, was a very funny picture. I can tell you everyone of those beasts stayed in the perspective cases as we were at the bar every night. If any were used I was sleeping way to deep to hear it (or snoring as I can sometimes do - bit embarrassed by that LOL)
     Silly things to share that mean nothing to anyone but me but if you have a pet you may be amused. My husband decided to give the cat a fix of catnip last night unaware to me. So I'm sitting there, only home from work about 10 minutes and the cat tries to jump on me. She is covered and I mean covered in catnip. Hubs said she was having a blast rolling around in it and her eyes were huge!! My kitty, I hope I don't need to have a talk with her about the evils of catnip!! ;-)
     Peeps there is not much for today, it was work, work and more work as it was much busier today than it was yesterday but of course I expected that. So I will say good night and ciao for now.  I'M BACK.....LOL

     Well I just want to say this night has turned into a  TINGLY WINGLY, WIBBLY WOOBLY kind of night. I felt like writing something and this is what my silly brain came up with please be kind as I wrote this as a lark in about 14 minutes, be kind :-D


     His hands hovered over the keyboard, what would be his first note? This was a very important note as it would set the tone of the work he was about to compose. What indeed would be my first note he asked back to himself? 

     Will I choose a comedy, a little willy nilly sounding, or a romance mystery with dark sounds?  In his mind he could see a scene forming, that he would add music, and his composition would be born. Not so far removed as a birth of flesh and blood, 'Cept this one would not have the unsure steps of a human child, his child would come out perfect from the start. 

     With this thought in his mind, his hand started to lower as he watched his finger touched the key. From deep inside himself flowed the rest, note after note, his fingers hitting the keys producing his visions, his dreams, thoughts and emotions; flowing and mixing, to produce the person he always wanted to be!

     He had to force that first note, so many things would have been different if he had chosen a different note, or chosen none at all. After his choice was made, he was pleased. As the note he selected was just the right one, he was certain of this;  because it came from his heart.

                                                 Fin
Well good night (or day)  :-D

Monday Monday, can't stop that day

     On the whole not a bad day. Really nice morning, then no traffic on the drive in because of the holiday, then work was actually bearable because the Government sector is all closed which makes me scared for tomorrow  LOL
     I spoke to Jo-Ann today and she is doing okay, she said she has not been on South beach since new years and had gained back 16 pounds. I was thinking thats only about 2 weeks ago but we all lose and gain at different speeds. She is just not happy and she is thinking of going to see someone to talk with. She asked me if thats weak.  I told her hell no its not weak. We all need a shoulder sometimes and there is nothing wrong with going to see a Psychiatrist. I wish her the best of luck.  I havent been the best of life style changers either the past few weeks but I am still at 42 pounds gone!! I am proud of that and although I am still a lump when im not laying down or scrunched up I look better. I know it sounds dumb to those of you who do not have weight issues but i can now lean over in my chair at work to pick things up off the floor. I used to have to alwasy get up.  I can lean over and pick them up with out having to lean on something for leverage. I also pulled my seat up again since my tummy doesn't hit the steering wheel anymore. So many silly things that to me actually matter. I really wish I could fast forward a year and a half or so and be a size 14/16 , have my boob job (I know but they are fading LOL) and be able to wear the silks and corsets and hose and shoes I used to wear but for now I am just working towards it. I know I have a pretty face and I just want to make all of me the same. Oh I am accepting of my body and have no problem with being naked BUT I just want there to be less of me to be naked. Reason is for being fit more than looks but hey I AM a girl so well yeah  LOL
     I also can report I went on that website this am (the one I mentioned yesterday) just to see if I had mail and nope not a one. Have not been back all day, nor have I been on facebook, I jumped in here at work to help with emails as we have over 500 at the moment that need to be answered between all the departments and I used to do them so I know how.  It's the least I can do to help the reps we have, they really have worked so hard.
     Ever have a song stuck in your head and you have no idea why? Right now that song for me is Tik Tok and I dont even like Keisha!!! (no clue where to put that $ sihn in her name LMAO)  Ah well, :-)
     I'm looking at a March calendar to pick a day to get my new ink. Its my fairy and I am beside myself that it is finally being done. So excited, my friends I can't even begin to tell you. A dear friend drew it for me and I'm going to be his canvas, I think I would get any ink he drew as he is quite talented and if he draws more for me I will sure as hell get them inked on me. I think original pieces drawn by someone who knows you is the ultimate tattoo(s)  I knew my old artist well which is why she drew my ink well for me and my new artist looks to be just as promising. Next after the fairy will be a branch of cherry blossoms up the side of my leg from thigh to ankle.  Im getting even more excited as I type. It's hard to explain but if you love it, you sit down and chat a few moments, get into the bext position for what you are having done, remove whatever you need to. Then you hear that needle start up and you get all tingly, they ask if you are ready, you say yes and you feel the first pricks of the needle and then it starts. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!  I'm a goof I know ;-)
     Okay I need to do a few things before I leave and one is call in my prescription so I can pick it up after work. Hubs is sick now and picking up some pepto for him as he has tummy issues poor man.  So until nect time, ciao for now.

Quarter To 3.....No One in The Place....

     .....Except for my husband, the cat & me.....   LOL  I think I may be overtired.

     Well Saturday came and went, spent most of the night speaking with a dear friend and we just recently hung up. She has things on her mind and we were bouncing ideas back & forth. I swear life gets so complicated as we get older. They say childhood is the best time of your life, I know it's complicated as you get older but don't know if that saying is 100% true. Mine was lots of fun but I got teased a lot too. I remember once in school as we were walking out the classroom door one of the kids tripped me, he said he wanted to see how much noise I made when I hit the floor. Yea stuff like that, once a note found its way to my desk and it asked if fat people use more soap when they take a bath? In camp this bully of a girl & her flunkies cornered me ( I was about 10) and kept pulling my bra strap, teasing me that I had to wear it because I was fat and had tits. I wasn't the only girl who wore one but I guess I was an easy target. So I would say my teens up were better than younger childhood. Wow flashback remembering all that stuff. Getting back to before my train of thought jumped the track, I always want to be there for my friends and though not sure if I helped I did get her to smile and even laugh a little. My advice is free and worth every penny BUT I also just listened. That's the important part, lots of folks don't get that. Its not always saying the answer its just being there to listen. As much as I live to talk (that should have been love not live but either works LOL), I am a good listener also. I love her to pieces and hope it all work out. 

     Since Ive been feeling blah, when i got my nails done today I got them done blue. Yea how funky am I!! There is a pic on my FB for those that know it. Other than that I did a little shopping then came home and here we are. I am on an inhaler as my cold settled in my lungs and I swear I get such a headrush from the stuff. I feel like Im high.

     Worked half a day on Friday and from what I saw work is showing no signs of slowing down, is just crazy.Monday will be bonkers once again Im sure. Well jut wanted to say hi and I will be back later tonight so until then ...ciao 

OKAY I AM BACK & it's 9PM and I am snuggly in my jammies already! I have had a lovely glass of wine and watching the Golden Globes hosted by none other than Ricky Gervais, I dont know...he toned it down a bit this year but I liked him last year. He doesn't mince words and it seemed like he was straining a bit to be "nicer"  He looks fantastic though, i like the dark red suit he has on. I always have crushed on him though. Oh and YAY an new season of "An Idiot Abroad' starts next week, called "The Bucket List" they will make poor Karl do things people want to do before they die. I was introduced to it by a friend and it's fabulous. You need to watch it if you've never seen it.   
     Well all seems much better for my friend, crossing fingers and I'm very happy for her. I also spent the day yesterday purchasing the equipment for me to do my own nails with the gel polish. Its quite simple and the biggest expense is the UV lamp to set the gel. Found a good one at a great price on Ebay. So for a teeny investment I save 30 bucks every 2 weeks and over time it does add up so bully for me.  HAHAHA
     OMG I got an email from an anonymous on my other site and they were just so perverted I almost wish they can be traced. It was along the lines of since I am fat I must like weird sex and I'm talking species intermingling was mentioned, since it must be hard to find a human to want to have sex with me. I had about 10 emotions going through my head, I just starred at the screen. look I like sex, A LOT!! i have no trouble exploring things or fantasies but I do have my limits. The issue of me being fat never was there when I was with someone. They were with me and it's not like I was wearing a skinny suit and then when we were alone took it off and went SURPRISE!!!! Damn those Anons sometimes..  You have to laugh it off i suppose, I kind of am now as I type it and throw it out to the world. I did delete it so no I cant copy and paste it. Know were all dying to read it :-)
     Life has been a bit boring lately so sorry no great things to post just that between being ill and work being so busy I have not done anything exciting. I am praying that I will be headed to New York in the near future as that will be fun. I love the city and miss it so much. I mean it's home to me!!   The Giants are headed to the Super Bowl, not that I follow American football all that much as I prefer baseball, but I'm happy my NY team made it. I will be rooting for them come Super Bowl Sunday and as always I am more excited about the commercials than the game   HAHAHAHA
     Here is a pic of my funky nails, will be a dark burgundy red next time but I'm loving the wildness of the blue, I'm such a rebel    BWAHAHAHAHA

    Well I am saying goodnight. I am reading a cool old book called "Walden" by Thoreau ( I adore his works) and want to get back to it before I head to land of dreams so I will say as always  Ciao for now
    

Really Nothing

Okay so it's 1am Saturday morning and hubs is snoring and I'm wide awake. Even the cat barely gave me a glance as I walked past her. I am feeling better and it was great getting back to work as I do miss it. I slept late so since I'm not tired what I am is bored. I can put in my earbuds and listen to music or watch Netflix, but one thing I'm not going to do is eat. My eating habits have changed and although this gal here has no problem tearing into a juicy steak and potatoes, I'm just as inclined to have a grilled chicken salad now. Huge gooey chocolate cake for dessert not anymore. I go for custards or puddings which yes I know are not always less calories but they dont weigh you down. Cheesecake is always fair game. Lol
I like now that when done eating I don't have that "stuffed Boa feeling" Speaking of food, I have to think what's to cook this weekend. I'm stil feeling a bit run down so not into cooking. I will cook Sunday but I may pick up some planked salmon that's all done for tomorrow night. So have I got you rivited with this thrilling blog so far? Bwahaha
It's just that I'm getting sleepy finally and in my head I had this blog thought out and it was fabulous and witty. You'd of loved it!! But my hands don't want to type but I will tomorrow or Sunday sO please do come back then. So saying good night and ciao for now

I Give Decent Advice, Shame I Don't Listen

     There is a song by Elton John called "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word".....with a nod of kudos to Sir Elton I'm not so sure. I say the damn word all the friggin' time. Really you ask, you Mary Lee , you!!?? No you jest!   Oh I am quit serious , yes I  do. Why, because I am an ARSE!!  Everything is already looked past & not thought of  by the person I say I'm sorry too, yet for me I just always seem to just send that one too many texts, call just once more "to be sure ya know" I don't know why, if I did I would stop. I just over do. People and my friends did all that they do before they met me and I don't expect them to, nor should they ever change, who the hell am I? PLUS that's why I like them, right??  There fucking awesome, well human, but awesome. Well it stops here (fingers crossed) I actually was telling someone something today along the lines of you need to lay back let people live their lives and they will come to you and/or call in a day or so. They just need some time to miss you and realize hey I haven't spoken to my friend in a few days, i wonder what's up with them.  As I said these words I was like , Who am I talkin' to?? Answer was not just my friend but to me as well.  Who would have thought it. My advice was sound but like I said i need to heed my own words and I like me so I think I shall. I've already kind of, well not beat the horse tonight, more like gave it a sharp smack, but I wont push it any more. wont even mention it, new day and all.

     Okay with hubby and he's watching Top Gear and they are putting someone in a trunk and it reminded me when a friend bought a new Volkswagen Eos, it had a good trunk and my hubs was like yea looked and he then got himself into the trunk, trouble was he couldn't get out. LMAO My old boss and I each grabbed a leg and slid him out. hehe  Then we said his kids would fit and they didn't want to so he shouts at the top of his lungs , in a cul-de-sac, "GET IN THE TRUNK!!" Lovely to hear echoing through the nearby streets, wonder what the neighbors thought. LOL

     Well back to work tomorrow , went to the doctors today and gave me an inhaler as my lungs were a bit icky. I don't have to go in until 4PM though (I work 11 - 8) so I have the morning all to myself :-D I will be awake at 6:30 as thats when hubby leaves for work but I may stay in bed playing words with friends or what ever crosses my mind to do. 

     I need to go call someone so I am going to say night night to you all , peace out and ciao for now :-D

100.6

     That was my temp as of 20 minutes ago. I think the bug that showed itself over New Year is back but this time it has a punch. It actually feels like flu, with the achy joints and just blah!! No real appetite which I am not complaining about but I am a tad cranky. Hubs bless him is handling it beautifully - he's sound asleep snoring!!Really though he brought me tea and soup and let himself be a big 'ole pillow for me to lay on. I truly appreciate. Thing is I have so much to do, work has been so busy and there is one reason Im run down, everyone there is ill. Was a matter of time I guess. Im taking meds but going to the doc tomorrow as I feel it starting in my chest. I will not get pneumonia so Im coming at it with light sabres drawn!

     Times like this I adore my iphone, I can even watch the tv shows on my itunes and was able to stay in bed. I get so bored at home, but my manager makes sense no reason getting more folks sick. I need to get well, end of story.

     Oh let me rant at our postal service a moment. The cards and sweets I sent overseas came back to me , one totally ruined, one a bit scuffed, the others okay but and its a big one ...NO CANDY!!! Bastards took the candy. You wont convince me otherwise. So while I was in bed I used my tea tray and made a new boy's card, no where near as nice as the other was but when I go to the doctors I will get them out. See I know its over 2.5 weeks past but one maybe two of them save the cards so I have to send them. Labor of love, right?  I still have a package to go out but not tomorrow.

     I noticed today that when I'm ill I get horny, how odd is that. Not like I have any real energy to do anything  but I love being touched and held. Im a big baby that way. I love snuggling and the fact that it's cold and rainy out and we're nice and cozy in bed makes it perfect cuddle time. I mean if I can't share my germs with my husband, what's the point.  I started that 3 day diet really well but today went bust so going to give it a few days, as Im not really hungry, I am thirsty though, and will start Saturday or Sunday. Holding at 41 pounds gone, full size lower but I need to go to the gym a lot more regularly. Get that whip cracking on me!!!

     Right now peeps Im starting to feel a little worse, so saying good night, rolling over and going to try and sleep, doubt I will though I'm wheezing too loud. Ciao for now.

Just an add on for tonight

Well I tried keeping it together and just so on edge after today but looking forward to being home with the hubs. Well I'm almost home and I driving on the toll road when I see flashing lights behind me. Shit!!! Yep the cops, the fuzz, the man or rozzers, whatever you want to call them are pulling me over. He said hello and I asked was I speeding? He said no so I'm thinking then why are you pulling me over. He said it looked like my car was zigging. I'm like no Im comming of of work. He flashed a light in my eyes to see if I was drinking I think. Nope not that at all. He took my license had me wait, then he came back and said be careful as he handed it back to me. I almost cried I still don't know why he pulled me over but I so didnt need that. Got in the house and hugged hubby then just cried! Way to much stress, god I'm such a girl!! Lol. Just wanted to share before I go to sleep. Here's to a better day tomorrow.

Waxing Poetic

     There is a quote by Thoreau that goes “There is no remedy for love but to love more.”  What a beautiful thought. It is true and I have often felt that when those I know & love are acting their worst it is right then they need the biggest hug. I myself am like that sometimes as well. 
     There is a poet inside me and on occasion she comes out, or maybe it's a he I'm never sure. LOL  I envison scenes of soft meadows and people dressed all in white cotton, enjoying tea in a garden or of kissing in the rain not caring who passes by.  Wow these sound like images for scent huh?  LOL   I just love feminine things and yet I dont wear make up all the time or dress in dresses , oh I used to. I was the queen of the peasant dresses and long skirts and boots oh and hats,  I loved hats!!  Over the years I've let that part of me go and I am striving to get her back.  I love "genteel" as well as street , I  love fine dining yet I will throw caution out and dance my heart out at a dive club. I wish I could turn the clock back sometimes but mostly I am pleased where I am.
    I am recently finding that I have a hard time with change, well not all change, as my weight loss is back on track baby!! But I used to think I was fine being alone but no I am not. I need people in my life I need the  interaction, touch and affection of people. I warned you all I said this would have my rantings and here they are.  I can't express the feelings in my heart clearly or so that all of you will understand, some will I know but I alwasy wear my heart on my sleeve, i am not a poker face and have lost friends over it , I was too much to handle I was told i made it hard to be my friend i was told. Those words haunt me , a scare that will never heal, i cant forget them although others have told me its not so, but what if it is , it scares me , thats a fear of mine , being alone , I dont want to end that way. I dont know where thats coming from I think I just opened some flood gates so I  am ending my blog tonight and tomorrow is a new day. Sorry to end so abruptly but  as always Ciao for now  

self indulgent blog tonight - almost didnt write it

THE REASON I ALMOST DIDNT WRITE IT IS THAT IM NOT A NEEDY BITCHY WOMAN AND MY THOUGHTS HERE MAY CONTRIDICT THAT. BUT WHAT THE HELL, IN FOR A PENNY RIGHT?  
         I was to start a rigerous 3 day food plan but I forgot my bread today, so I am starting tomorrow AM. I have stalled big time. I gained the few pounds over the holidays but I lost them and now I'm back to 41 pounds gone and yet I FEEL bigger than I did a month ago. It's a strange thing, the mind I mean. You see the loss on the scale but you don't feel the loss and you again are scared , you've come so far and I think I am beginning to understand the weekly meeting mentality. I am losing and it's become part of my life now, at first it was new and very exciting and the weight came off quick, as water will do that. Now though it's settled into a routine and no one asks anymore or says how good you look. You realize that you need that, I need that. I see everyone at work every day so it's not picked up because now instead of 3 and 4 pounds a week you are losing 1 or gulp even a 1/2 so it's not really noticible. You need new clothes so you have lost but your eyes don't see the difference anymore.  I so HATE feeling needy and try to always rely on my own self but we all have our inner fears I suppose. One cool thing today, I waved at a lady at work today and as I did my ring flew off my finger. Guess my fingers are getting thinner. I did get my ring back....no worries. Lol
     Kind of a continuation of yesterday. Choices we are given, what happens to us and to others with those choices.   Scenario: You are in a great mood, having lovely conversation, and you are enjoying your friends company. Something occurs that is a wonderful opportunity for your friend and you think they are pleased, I mean they told you news, they shared with you;  and in the very least the fact that thid has occured and they are considered, shows the intergrity and intelligence of your friend. You truly wish nothing but the best for them, they deserve nothing less BUT you all of a sudden have very selfish thoughts. It would mean far less contact with them than ever. The thought makes you so very sad yet you would never let on because , hell no one is that much of a bitch. This is someone you care about and would do anything you could for, so you kid around but offer congratulations at the same time there is a teeny micro particle of you that is thinking NO!!  Then the fact that you would even think that makes you feel guilty. You know you would be the first one at the going away party wishing good luck!! How would you handle it?  The fact is that it may not even come to fruition and it's not your call anyway, you have no rights here NONE! Truth is you know you can be an obsessive selfish child at things like this and you are just simply afraid of losing your friend. Sigh     Of course it's all hypothetical & I overthink things WAAAAAAY too much :-D
       I wrote when I first started this blog that I would write how I was feeling good or bad and today is kind of a downer day. I hate being that way, I mean who wants to hang around negative people? I sure as hell don't, but sometimes even the most upbeat person has those days where they just need a little extra affection. I dont mean the joking , winding each other up but a serious vote of confidence. I think the pressure of the last week and the fact that this one doesn't seem to be shaping up any different is taking its toll. Even the peeps here at work who I know go out on the weekends said they stayed home this weekend because they were tired. It's affecting everyone.  Shake it off Mary  - Shake it off. I swear Mondays can SUCK!!!  
    I am a very fun woman, I mean why would the people I love put up with me otherwise? lol  I am going to call it a night but leave you with this photo, I think it's great!

Ciao for now

Chit Chat

     Today was the day for it I tell you. I was on facebook just before having a go around with an old boyfriend I dated back in High School. Was nice to catch up. He's still in NY but lives upstate now. Then early on in the day  I had a a nice chat with someone else. It was nice and they are both very sweet. I so need to call my friend D as she has been sick (shes the one I mentioned my comment on FB to her in my other post)  

     I tell you I went into work on Saturday and this weekend just flew by after that. I was there about 4 1/2 hours along with about 5 other people. this new system is just madness. I have never seen the parking lot so full for on a Saturday before.  

but I have mentioned the madness that is work in my past blogs so I will let that rest. (thunderous applause is heard LOL

     I just want to say that on one of my other sites someone messaged me that I was just a bundle of beautiful! I was surprised as the person saying it is half my age but it was great to read and felt good. I admit that it came from a younger person made it even more nice. NOT that age has anything to do with it but I sometimes wish I could go back to myself when I was in college and say "Just stay at this weight and you will be fabulous" Back then I was a size 16/18 and although I always had a tummy it was nothing like it is now. I was more in proportion back then I think. I am not dwelling on it as I have said I accept my body, but it would be interesting to see what would have happened. The Butterfly Effect, of sorts, the Sliding Doors movie , what would have happened if I had Zigged when I actually Zagged. I wonder if that's where Deja Vu comes in? Perhaps different time lines cross at points meaning some things are fixed and can't be changed so when you cross it and its familiar its becasue you already have crossed it in another timeline. I know I need to stop watching Dr.Who, but think about it, it makes as much sense as anything else I think. Yea I'm a nutter, hello I'm Mary nice to meet you :-D 

     Well I boogie to my the beat of my own drum, I invite all of you to dance with me and I bet you have a great time. I am closing this blog down but I have more for tomorrow but will save that.  Its weight stuff and that boring info can indeed wait for a Monday night LOL 

Ciao for now peeps

The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth Friday & Saturday Night

     Now I know when I married my hubby that he was not the sporty kind of man, he is;  in a word, a GEEK!! I watch more sports than he does.  The nice thing is that I have no problem getting him to go anywhere on Superbowl Sunday, or any Sunday during football season. LOL We went to a Superbowl party once and he looked so out of place poor man I made an excuse and we left early.  Now on the plus side..whenever I have a computer problem, BAZINGA!! my own personal tech.  haha  I have hosed computers and I get home and it's fixed or replaced by one he upgraded for me or built himself. It's only in the past year that I saw the man buy a computer already complete. He builds his own to his own specs. He loves gadgets and gizmos. We were watching The Big Bang Theory on TV the other night and I love that he gets all the geek jokes and he laughs, while I am sitting there like why was that funny? LOL
  Well here it is Saturday night and I am in an altered state. After the week it's been I really needed the release. I have that cough that wont leave but otherwise really good right now. We are just laughing and being goofy. I have a lovely scarf given to me this Christmas and hubs snapped some pics as I wrapped it around my head. I looked like a blonde, stoned, BBW Madonna (not the singer) Hubs thought they looked cute. Hahaha
     Just a newsflash......I had a Jammie Dodger for the first time. It was very nice and what I liked best was it wasn't overly sweet. One big problem here in the USA is that sweets are way to "sweet". Does that even make sense? I mean here I could taste the cookie as well as the filling. So many of the cookies we have are just SWEET, meaning its all one blob of taste. There are no layers of flavors. I think we here in America can learn a thing or two from the rest of the world. Look I have a strong sweet fang but I have come to appreciate the essence of what I eat. To want to taste flavor in what goes in my mouth. To savor the sensations that linger and don't just disappear when you swallow.
     Ooh peeps I'm just jumping all over tonight. Try and follow okay ? ;-D  Tonight we watched a Pepe LePew cartoon (don't ask Hehe) So for ten minutes Hubs is grabbing my arms and what have yous, kissing them, while talking in a terrible fake French accent. I laughed so hard I almost fell out of bed. Obviously in a giddy mood tonight, I read my friends facebook post and she said she was hanging on the couch with honey and brandy. I wrote and told her to give them my best! BWHAHAHAHA  Watch out she's a kook tonight and i'm sure many of you may be asking, so what makes that different from any other night or day even?
I just need sleep more than anything, so I am going to head upstairs. I think I may just go out in the AM to get a few items then just tidy up around the house tomorrow, and stay close to home. I don't feel the need to go anywhere as this upcoming week is going to be even more crazy as this week the first paychecks for 2012 come out and I am sure people will be calling in with many questions and complaints. So not sure if I'll check in tomorrow night but I will post a blog Monday night. In the meantime here are a few of the pics snapped of me in Madonna guise.  LOL

What a Goddess right?! hehehehehe   okay peeps ciao for now