Happy New Year

As I sit here waiting for both my fever & the ball in Times Square to drop, I'm thinking I should be a bit put out. I went from no invites to 3 yet I will not be attending any. I feel like poop, but I am not put out, I am content. You see this year has had many ups & downs and I am ending the year on the path I should be on. I have the love of friends who I hope are out celebrating and I am here with my husband who loves me and stays with me despite my occasional craziness! LOL I look forward to 2012 with excited eyes.
I spoke to a few friends tonight. One in particular was a rare treat. Someone I can call my oldest friend. I met him when I was 3 and we are still friends. The son of an American soldier and an English woman, he was my first love as well. Well his car was. Lol He was the boy who introduced me to my first muscle car. We were friends, then as I got older the inevitable romp in his backseat but we were not earmarked that way and so here we are over 40 years later still friends. Tonight's his birthday too, so happy birthday Mike!
I am sitting proped in bed injesting liquids and eating soup while Hubby sings me ELO songs and once again I laugh and am reminded how lucky I am.
I wish all of you a wonderful NYE and a glorious New Year filled with love of family and friends and fabulous new and exciting adventures. Every New Year is a gift to all of us. New chances, old comforts, and a gentle reminder of what really matters. Much love and good wishes for a great 2012. Thank you for reading my words. Here's to many more. Ciao for now.

From my phone - that's where I'm writing this!

Well it's almost 1am and I can't sleep. My latest temp is 101.4 and I just feel achy. Hubby has decided he is not going to work tomorrow but is taking Friday off took after me and I appreciate it very much. I just feel drained and I'm sure I'll be right as rain to do g in the new year :-).
I also feel a bit stupid. I just can't fuckin know when to stop! Always. Een a problem for me. All is good then I just push one more teeny bit and BAM too far! Like today I did that on the phone with a dear friend, I mean I had a good call but I pushed a point that we tease about and I have fun with it but I think sometimes I overstep my parameters in that I tend to latch on where I have no right latching. I also over think things I know shocking right?! Haha He understands me though, more than I do sometimes so he knows I'm a daft bunny at times. All I can say is any doubt just read the letter!(inside comment Between friends)
I've always been good at writing down how I feel since my tongue gets to big to fit my mouth and my words just don't sound right sometimes. Whew that's been on my chest for the entire day. Felt good to get it out.
Ugh I hate feeling icky. I always want the same thing when I feel like this. Tomato soup & crackers. Tea for warmth and something cold to drink also. I also want a cookie to go with the tea. Nothing overly sweet, perhaps a shortbread or a digestive biscuit.lol My I'm sick food list, jeez I'm a dork haha.
I was on the kindle just now, re-reading a favorite book called "The Mists Of Avalon" it's basically King Arthur's tale told from a woman's point of view. Very Goddess oriented and I just love it. I love to read and wouldove to get suggestions. I always ask you all to give me ideas but no one ever does. Come on, I don't bite (much) lol
Well peeps I think I may be sleepy enough to konk out so I rest here. Have a fab Friday and as always ciao for now

Almost a New Year is Here

     Okay peeps, I am here at work and it's our usual time to chat. It's slow and tomorrow is the last work day this week. I am switching shifts so I will be here bright and early tomorrow morning.  So many thoughts run through my head this time of the year and this year as it turns out I have nothing to do on New Year's Eve (poor me)  and I know my friends (stateside and overseas)  are all going out and will be having fun. I admit I am a bit bummed out at this. I love a good party but I will be home watching the midnight hour approach and plotting out my January. Don't you want to be me. LOL I am a lucky girl as I have a roof over my head and people who love me so i'm not complaining even though it sounds that way. It's more like stating a fact. As we like to say here at work, it is what it is! :-D
     I am very happy to report thought that the 4 1/2 pounds I put on over the holidays have somehow been lost again. I weighed myself this AM and they were gone, I'll take it but I am curious. LOL I shouldn't argue I know. Spoke to JoAnn and she said she put on almost 10 pounds but she will lose it I'm sure. I can't wait to meet this lady. We chat about so many different things. She is very nice and she told me that she prays for me ever night. I was quite touched by that. As I've said its always wonderful to hear that people are thinking of you fondly. 
     Lot going on at work as we are starting a new system and it's a big change for everyone across the board so I better rest up for the 3rd. hahaha  I found my original offer letter from when I first started at this company back in August of 2008 as a customer service rep. It seems so long ago and yet its just about 3 1/2 years ago. I wish I could view a crystal ball and see whaere I am in another 3 1/2 years. I know what I'm woring towards and I am determined to meet my goal!
     Well lets talk about something interesting, sex! We all love it right? I know I do, and I am wondering if anyone ever just gets in the mood where it can't be enough? I feel sometimes that I shouldn't want it as much as I do. I was taught growing up that women have less of a drive and then when I had my hysterectomy they told me that I would be way les interested and it might need help. I mean like KY kind of help as bodies change with this type of surgery. All I can say in response is "WHO YOU TALKING TO?" Certainly not me, if anything I am more interested NOW and want more now than I ever have before.  It proves one thing, that I will NEVER be called normal! Bwahahaha (not that I want to be)  I have more toys now than when I was a child (very different too lol) So are there any other women out there the same, I would be very interested to know. I am a curious creature by nature. Okay - fine - NOSY!! ;-D
      Ooh ooh  talking of toys. My Sister in Law got thsi cool microdermibration kit and I got one the other day as it loked interesting and I had a coupon. Well first of it's by Nutregena and it works great BUT it vibrates and OMG!!! I mean I may never have to get another toy as this puppy could easily do double duty, woof!!! I laughed when I used it the first time. We were teasing and kidding around, thinking of what could happen. I mean can you imagine there is a knock at the bathroom door......Q: hey are you almost done, you've been in there an hour? A: I'm exfoliating dear I'll be out soon.  You exit the bathroom door with a well scrubbed face and smiling SO WIDE!!!  LOL 
     Well dears its almost 8 so I am going to sign off now and remember if you have my number and find yourself thinking of me New Years Eve - give me a ring I promise I will answer, unless of course I am exfoliating! ;-D
    

Well I'm Back

     I hope everyone had a great Christmas, Hanukkah,or whichever holiday you celebrate. We had a great Christmas and I for one am ready to get to New Years and have the proverbial clean slate! I don't know, the last few days I have felt a bit out of sorts and also a bit melancholy. As far as the latter goes its mainly because I can't be with everyone I want to be at Christmas. I only just mailed out some gifts today and tomorrow I have a few more trinkets and mainly cards to ship overseas. I just wish I could see faces when the gifts are opened, I mean isn't that the best part? I love getting them of course but it's so much more fun to give and see reactions. I was able to get the Hubs something cool and that felt good as it's hard to do. LOL  Now as far as the out of sorts, I'm thinking too much crap that has been ingested. True that it's less than I used to have but even the bit I had is taking it's toll. I put officially 4 1/2 pounds on since Thanksgiving, now that's not unusual for someone to do but the sugar is not playing nice in my system. I have not had fried food but I did have some pasta which adds to the carbs.  To the gym in the am to get moving again then back to work for a grueling 2 days then off for 4 more days again. I can get used to this LOL  Honestly though my knee is hurting me again and I guess I will have to go get it looked at , DAMN!! I need my knees though (wicked grin  BWAHAHAHA) I also have a physical scheduled for the 3rd complete with blood work, yuck!! I need one though as I haven't had one in years

     Like I mentioned not feeling great so I am not writing much today, but I wanted to say hi since I've been away. So Ciao for now guys and I WILL be back soon, Promise!

Santa Baby

     We will see you in a couple of days big guy! LOL  I can't wait to see the faces on y neice & nephew when they open their gifts. I also got a gift certificate for my in-laws from their coffee club, we said no excahnges for adults but i can't help it. I also bought a mini doughnut maker called "Babycakes" How cute is that??  Apparently my nephew has his own George Forman grill and has shown an interest in cooking so I picked that up at our amazing store called Wegmans. It's a grocery store plus a gourmet store, plus housewares, and just a place where I could spend hours shoppping in.  I think it's great and I encourage him to learn more.
     Well we are going to spend Christmas Day with the family and i will now have a quiet Christmas Eve. I am looking forward to it, actually. Some good steaks, salad, and a nice red wine , some Christmas movies and just enjoying each other. Then family the next day which is alwasy great then we are both off the day after so maybe we can go somewhere or hell just have a lie in and be lazy. I work 2 days next week as Monday we are closed, then I'm off Tuesd. work next two then off on Friday. Hubs has to work Friday so I get the day to myself. I think a bubble bath is in order!! LOL
     I am not going to do a blog the next two days but will possibly do one Christmas night if not then the day after for sure. So I am taking this time to say thank you to all of you reading these blogs. That is a gift you all give me and I am glad that you come by and appreciate it very much. Hopefully in the New Year I have some cool stuff to report :-)    So for now I wish all of you a VERY Merry, Happy Christmas. Enjoy the holiday with family and friends and may you all have a holiday filled with love and laughter.  Ciao for Now.  PEACE

I am such a lucky bunny

     I really have no blog tonight, just that I feel really good. Those goodies I said I ate, I have no regrets that I did. I ate them and they were good. I am not going to go backwards as I've put too much into this and as I have said MANY times I have goals! LOL  I am not stupid though and I am back on track. Christmas day will be at home so I can cook and monitor our holiday feast for two. Hubby and I will have a lovely candlelight dinner, wine and good food. No carbs but thats not a problem. The Eve we will be at my in-laws. I'm hoping my hubby is up to going to the Christmas pagent my niece is in, if not we will have dinner and we were invited to stay for Christmas morning, I will speak to hubby about that as well. They are our only family here and they mean very much to me.  Hubs and I are going light on gifts, I mean we are not penny pinching but I easily could spend over 500 bucks on him but we are buying a new refridgerator right after and also a new bed so taking that into consideration when we think prezzies the cap goes down. STILL waiting for that bracelet from Tiffany's - LOL, it's almost a joke at this point, kind of like Susan Lucci winning the soap opera award that she finally did after 19 years!  He surprised me a few months back and that was SO special I still smile so wide when I use my Kindle Fire :-D. He is a dear man and I wish I could take all his pain away, we've been having lovely nights and I enjoy talking with him. We even shut the TV and computers so it was just us relaxing and talking, haven't done that in a while and it was great!!
     He did surprise me, as my computer at home, the desktop one, once again died!! Now I was in the middle of working on it and boom screen goes dark! WTF?? Well he inspected it (one GREAT thing about having a tech guy in da house!!) and he said the hard drive should be fine so he brought me home a computer he had at work, same as the one I have and is going to switch out the hard drives. YAY! So watch out I will be back playing bejeweled in no time, although I suck at it!! LOL
     A few random thoughts went through my head today (NO they didn't die from loneliness!! )  Like isn't nature great? Here we have the first day of winter and the weather has been so mild, and why is there a permanent press setting on the iron?  Things like that! hehe    I am here at my desk, it's quiet and I am taking ten to do my blog. I dont really take full lunch hours or breaks and rarely leave my desk so I occasionally will do it this way and go here or facebook or what have you. I dont like leaving my reps with no one to go to and I don't smoke so I dont go for breaks for that as does the other supervisor. So you all are my smoke break! LMAO
 Well, I am leaving you with a pic that a dear friend took for me. Again it means something to me as he thought of me at the time and it's nice to be thought of, and well I always think of my friends and get little things for them when I do, or call, or email (usually way too many times  HAHAHA)  So enjoy the photo (10PM - WAIT DON'T GO -I ADDED AFTER THE PIC JUST NOW LOL)

   Well HI I'm back with something else funny I thought of. hehehe  Yes I may be in an altered state, why do you ask...lol  Well earlier tonight I ate an orange and my hubs drank a glass of vodka. I leaned over to kiss him and started to laugh, he asked what? I told him together we made a screwdriver!! hahahaha  Okay NOW Ciao for Now  :-)

The dessert party is OVER!!!!!!!!!

     BURP!!! So many goodies brought in and I was good, I stayed aways from the cupcakes and cookies, I by passed the pastries and cheesecake (which I brought in ) but I failed to pass by the flan. I had a small slice but its a custard/pudding and that's my favorite. I haven't had flan in a long time and it was delicious. I love all custards, brulee's, and puddings with rich creamy rice pudding a top pick for me.  I must admit though along with my griled chicken salad I was almost dosing in our meeting as the room was so hot!! I also feel the earth's gravitational pull more for some reason. Yea no more sugars for quite a while now. It's the gym in the morning if I can get my voluptious ass up in time! hahahaha
     I was in contact with my artist and it seems like the start of March for my new ink, I am so excited. Maybe I go overboard (MAYBE!!?? LOL) but this ink will be very special and I can't wait to see it done!! Plus my artist is a fun lady and she does really nice work. I want to get my titty kitty covered up to something else. Not sure what though, any suggestions? :-)  
     OMG I have to share this although it's embarrasing for me. I went to the gym and decided to try something different. Right now I split my time between the treadmil and the bike and i am going to branch out and push myself a bit more, no pain no gain right? Anyway, I tried the recumbant bike. Now if you are nit familiar with this it is a bicycle that is low, you lean back in the seat and stretch out your legs to pedal. Yea well it may work fine for those with a normal inseam but I ( 24" inseam) couldn't reach the pedals at all!! Then to make matters worse the angle I was in made it hard to get up. I looked like a freakin' turtle on it's back! Yea I know nice image LOL Welcome to maryworld
     I made it to target and football is purchased and ready for wrapping, Hubs gift is done and all I need now is to finish my damn cards to ship out. I dropped the ball and feel badly, yes I know I said that already, but thats me :-D   So the Solstice tonight, winter officially starts and here we are at 6:00PM at a temp of 47 degrees and today it was 65. Way to hot for this time if year, so welcome winter and a Good Yule to all of you . Good place to end so I will LOL   Ciao for now peeps

Mad Dash

     Tonight I make my last dash for prezzies. I am Target bound. Got to get that football and then tomorrow night I head out to Best Buy to get the Hubs present. he wanted a media player by Samsung. It has a Android system and a 5" screen. He loves his gadjets and it makes it eaasier to get him things that way. I am just GUTTED about my hand made cards and they wont go out until Saturday which means they wont arrive until AFTER Christmas :-(   I hope the sprogs don't mind.  It seems like thre should be at least one more week before the holiday  LMAO
     As for me my holiday will be day after tomorrow (the 22nd)
the Winter Solstice. Longest night of the year, then the days start to grow longer. The Holly King and the Oak King battle once again. The season changes as nature alwasy does no matter how much man tries to mess it up. I will pick up my drum and sit, enrobed in candle light and drum softly as I hum an old tune, as I give thanks for the turning of the wheel. I was born Catholic but left that path many years ago. Organized religion turns me off, "God" in any form of being or simply as nature is so often misinterpeted and used for selfish reason. Better to believe in no god and be a good person than to praise one on a Sunday then cause strife the other 6 days. To me the first one is more sincere and all will turn out well for them. It's my opinion and as alwasy I respect everyone else's as we all have that right!! :-0
     I am looking forward to the new year, hoping ot see friends i long to see and get things done around my home.  I weighed in this mornign and I GAINED 3 pounds!! I was shattered at first but 3 pounds isnt too bad but I am going to the gym in the AM. My last hurdle is tomrrow here at work for our Secret Santa dessert party. I made cheescake, yea i shot myself in the foot doing that as I make a good cheesecake! LOL I still am way down and will keep going. I do like myself I just have issues with my skin tone. Its so uneven and well, Irish!! LOL No trace of Italian pigment in me at all!! Sigh..
     I have been very dreamy lately, thinking about things in a romantic way is the best way to describe it. I am not one to keep my feelings inside and I let lose this time of year. I want to one day spend the holiday in a cottage in a meadow, snow falling, fireplace blazing, friends all around singing carols and sharing a huge meal. presents in abundance and just a feeling of peace and love. I have a small family, and I am an only child so I really want to know what it feels like to have lots of guests for Christmas. I can imagine how wonderful it is, those of you with children and/or brothers and sisters are so lucky!!
    Well i see it's 8PM, its' been quiet tonight. So off to the crazyland of last minute shoppers I go...wish me luck :-D   So as before  ciao for now

Crunch Time!!

     How the hell did this happen?! I was way ahead and I was zooming along but all of a sudden I find myself a week before Christmas and STILL not done. HOW!!! I know part of it is that I dont get home until 8:30PM and I was away this weekend.
I am not worried about hubs as I got little odds and ends for him but his big gift is a gift certificate from a store called Micro Center, it's a tech geeks mecca so to speak. LOL I really need to work on the last of my handmade cards. I am gutted that the ones overseas may not be there by Christmas but I will do my damndest to make sure they are there the week between Chrimbo and New Years, at least the gifts got there. Now the gifts to Maine are not being mailed until Wednesday AM so I think they may get there by Saturday but doubtful, again the week between. Sigh!!!!!!!!!  I have sent letters out and other cards and I hope they all get there in time. See I know those I love don't care if I even send anything but I mean a card not getting there in time, well Bad Mary , bad bad form ole girl!! I say  LOL   I know -- but can you say obsessive??  hehe
     Well must say that the weekend was great. I am quite tired today though and I have to go shopping at Target after work for a football. I hope they have them otherwise it's a gift card at Gamesstop for my nephew. LOL
     I will admit I have not been very diligent in my watching sweets this past weekend. I had a small slice of ice cream cake at the party Saturday and a few glasses of wine. Plus I had 2 slices of french toast that i made for my dad on saturday morning. it was like tasting heaven, I make a really good french toast if I do say so myself!! :-D  I DID go to the gym this mornign though so I feel good about that and I'm not stressing. Even when I did have not so good choices over the weekend I did watch my portions and that is a big part of all of this. I have to work all this into my life and if I don't enjoy these things on occasion well life will be very boring for me. I also noticed that I don't eat these things on a regular basis anymore that they tasted better than ever. Hmm maybe that bag of chips IS 8 servings and not just one...bwahahahaha 
     Oh lovlies, I wish I had more to write but I will sound so self absorbed if I do, which is something I am always worried about.  Tell you what, why don't you all ask me questions you may have, I hope you have some? You can do it without even logging in anon syyle so I wont know it's you. I will answer all truthfully.  I should have mor to report as we get closer to the holiday so until next time - Ciao for now!!

Tales of the Father (or weekend round-up)

     Well got home to NY around 1AM Friday morning and couldn't sleep, maybe it was the heat in the room, maybe it was just over tiredness, I don't know but I was summoned at 8AM as usual by my Dad, the same way he does on any given morning that I am there. First order of business it to make breakfast. Hubs and i bought him a new coffee maker for Christmas and I had to show him how to use it. Dad is such a creature of habit and losing the coffee maker he had the last 10 years rocked his world. Now don't be concerned as he is now brewing nicely in the new one.   We took a long drive out to the cemetary to visit my mother's grave and I bought a lovely Christmad decoration for the grave that will be delivered this coming week. She is buried in a National Cemetarty called Calverton in Long Island (since my dad is a Navy veteran)  and its actually a very serene place , folks are dying to get in there...boo - groan- sorry bad joke I know, had to!  LOL
     It was interesting talking to my Dad as he now loves to tell stories. He told me this weekend whern he graduated grammar school (age 13) he was called over by ones of the nuns and he thought he did something wrong, turns out she told him ..wait  let me preface this in that for the ceremony they had to walk with a partner doen the aisle, so back to story, the nun told my dad that 4 girls wanted to be his partner. LMAO he had to pick one of them. I just laughed and told him, wow, even back then Dad you were beating them off with a stick, he laughed.  The rest of the weekend with him was pretty nuch the same, I mena he gets me riled up in a terrible way, and we argue but in reality we are very much alike which I dont know if that is calming to me or scares the crap out of me! :-)  
     Yesterday I went in the say hello to our neighbors and chatted a bit, they have such a pretty tree all decorated, and then I was off to Brooklyn to visit with some friends for a birthday/Christmas gathering.  It was such a nice time and lots of laughs, good food, drinks and just a confortable great time. Of course hearing all of them say how good I looked did much for my ego I admit. LOL
     It's kind of weird sitting here in the breakfast nook writing this blog this morning. I used to do my homework in here. Mom, Grandma and I would have tea every afternoon here, really on weekdays every day around 3:30 - 4 PM we enjoyed the ladies time. This house has so many memories for me and I get a bit melencholy when I am alone with my thoughts on occasion. Just that I lived here all my life practically, it was home and even though I had my own apartments over the years I was always welcome back with open arms. This house is as much part of my childhood as any person ever would be.  
     Today I am leaving in about an hour and head back to my life in VA. I will always be part of this place and it lives in me. I like that, I claim it proudly and loudly (hey I'm a NY Biatch after all LOL) 
     Okay  may be back tonight as it depends on what I get into when I get home. So untill next we meet peeps, as always Ciao for now!!

The Wee Hours of the morning

     Lately for me I call them that because this is usually the time I get up to pee.  LOL  Today though it's because i am in NY and only got to my Dad's house about 40 minutes ago. Heading to the cemetary to visit Mom and spend a little early Chrimbo time with dad. I also have a party to go to Saturday so my NY peeps Im sorry I cant see all of you and I wish I could.
     I am once again in my old room and as i look around i can still envision it all pink! Yep to quote Steel Magnolias, my bedroom had looked like it was hosed down with pepto bismol. Pink carpet, pink bedding, pink paneling and of course all white furniture. Lots of ruffles and frillies, ha I was such a girl. Still am, glad that worked out for me.
     I was looking at myself in the mirror just before and this round pale pink chick looked back at me. I can see the loss yes, boobs stick out a bit more (just wish they were bigger) tummy not as rounded but I look like I'm melting. This in between time is going to kill me, I never have patience when it's about me. i finally like and accept my body with its scars and pigment issues I just wish I could fast forward a year or so LOL I know Rome wasn't built in a day! Fine I'll wait ;-)  I am in such a great mood, finally tired but great mood.
     It was great driving up and seeing all the lights on houses for Christmas. They put you in a festive mood. My Da doesn't decorate anymore except for a wreath on the door. when Mom died she took Christmas with her, my Da just appreciates everyone elses lights. I looked at the corner by the fireplace where the tree always went. If I squinted I could almost see it, ghosts of Christmas' past. Thats the nice thing everything lives on in your memory.  I am also looking forward to the new year. New start, clean slate, anything possible. okay dears I am starting to yawn and 8am will be here soon, so i say good night or morning as the case may be. Have a funky Friday and great weekend. ciao for now.

Hump Day is almost over

     Okay boys & girls we meet again at the usual time. Today has been a great one. I had the pleasant experience yesterday of having that lineman wave at me and today some man chatted me up in the grocery store. This tends to happen in bunches , like it may happen again tomorrow but then it is goint to stop for awhile. I guess I look non-threatning.  My director, as he was leaving, said okay Mary I leave the helpdesk in your capable hands. I said no worries Jose and then he turned to me and said, no I really mean that. It wasn't like this before and it is like a weight is lifted off my shoulders not having to worry when I leave. I was quite touched and it was really nice to hear. I mean I've only been supervisor for 8 months and there are things I'm still learning but it made me feel accomplished that he felt that way. Thank you again Heir Director!!! :-D
     So I told you I would have a story or something for you and I meant it. I have no idea if it's good or bad but it's what came out of my mind a few years back. You see Christmas was always magical for me and sadly it has become somewhat lacking for me and although I try to bring it back it will never be the same as it was. Maybe I used to see it through a child's eyes but I still get excited at decorated houses, moved to tears at hearing a childrens choir, I need to get it back and that is my wish for next year but this year i am again posting this as it lifts my heart. I hope that in some way it can do the same to all of you , maybe help you remeber a past time now forgotten. So here you are, be kind as the memory grows more fragile (& PRECIOUS) each passing year.  I call it The Ghosts Of Christmas:

     The Ghosts of Christmas’ past are whispering in my ear. I close my eyes and I am taken to a place, That will always live in my heart. 
     I can still smell the tree that my Mom & I decorated. I see all the decorations, lovingly displayed each year. I can hear my mother’s voice singng "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas"  
     I remember times when there was no room left under the tree, I also remember those few years when there was very little.  It didn’t matter either way, just being with my family was enough. 
     Oh the joy of being able to finally help in the kitchen all through the night,  3 generations…so many stories…the good natured arguing of which way is best, so much love shared between daughters.
    Tasting calamari for the first time ( and finding out what it was - a shock for sure!!! LOL).  My mom letting me make the sauce and helping with the meatballs. A definite coming of age indeed! As grandma looked on to make sure it was done right.
    The bayberry candle burning in the sink. The eggnog I drank that Grandma snuck some amaretto in. Walking to midnight mass - wearing our new Christmas corsages.

     Since that time in life - The tree has been put up countless times - A ton of wrapping paper and tape have been used - But no matter what happens or where I am, my mother and grandmother will always be there.
     I feel my grandmother’s hand as I stir my sauce. I know my mother is there as I decorate the tree. I am so blessed to have known them and had them in my life.  
     Our past is who we are and gives us strength to draw from as we make our futures
 This is also for all of you. May your hearts and homes be full of joy and love during this Holiday Season. Because memories are one size fits all, and they never wear out!!

So until next time, ciao for now!!

I Just Don't Know

     Okay, first my good news, I hit my 40 pounds today...whoop whoop!!!!! I am happy about that as I am sure with the next few weeks I will fluctuate but it's all good.
     Got my new reading glasses today, the other ones on face book are for late night driving (distance in bad weather) these are for snuggling up with my computer at home. LOL
     I got waved at today by a lineman who was working on the side of the road and I felt all girly and waved back. It was fun and felt good. I needed that as I had just been to the dentist and am looking at my 2 bridges for next year to be done, and it boggles my mind how much your teeth cost you. I had a blot clot in my lung years ago and was on this drug for over a year, and because of that my teeth became brittle and a few broke. I later found out that I was on it too long and thats one reason my teeth are now missing in a couple of places. I hope I am not sounding vain but I love to laugh and smile and I get self conscious about it sometmes. Although the wave this am made me feel good, I even wore eye makeup today at the request of an anon on my other site. I think I may know who it is and will ask tomorrow  LOL   Oh heck I had 6 emails on there today. Inquisitive little group I must say  hahahaha   I really need to concentrate on me and should stop my social site habit.........NAH!!!!!!  lmao
     My dears I am at a loss for words right now, quick write down the date, it doesn't happen often!!!! I feel the call to write tonight so you may have a story later or sometime in the morning. 
     So until my next time, ciao for now 
Okay so I came back and now I'm too tipsy to really write but I wanted to add a pic, it's on facebook too.....So here is me minus 40 pounds, its a face shot but will get full body this weekend and I added a silly one too hahaha :-D

I Wish We Had Do-Overs

     Remember as a kid we would say that, do -over and then we could do the entire thing again only better?  Well today was one of those days. I was a total fucking fool this AM and I beat the proverbial dead horse by re-iterating this but I can't help it. I really did not realize my actions and that is not like me (well maybe a little but it's something I'm working on) Without going into detail, which would make this even more boring, I did something meant as funny then it went all kablewy, kwim? I am over it - as the other person probably never gave it a third thought but I can't help it. I overthink, overcompensate, over react and it can be overwhelming to all but the strongest of beings. Fortunately this person has a very strong character LOL  I know it's all good but yea I was an ass!! Moving on now
     The day wasnt much better, I have had a tension headache that will not go away all day and it's making me a bit sick to my tummy. Good note though I did get to the post office today and sent out even more packages, these went to Maine. I had the worst dream last night about my Dad and I think that set my tone for the day. I drempt he died and that is on my mind all the time. He doesn't live with me so I am always afraid of that call I will one day get. I mean I can get a flight out of Dulles every hour and be there in about 50 minutes and just rent a car but the thought of not being there sometimes gets me. This happened because I do his Christmas cards for him every year and this year I only had to do 32 compared to almost 2x that 14 years ago when I started to write them for him. He will be 84 and many of his friends have died and it bothers me. I mean when I see him, I do laundry, clean his bathrooms, cook major amounts of food and freeze it, do his shopping and I wish I could take a month and give the house a good scrubbing but my days there are limited. I have gotten closer to him since my Mom died and in a way when it's his time it will be harder than even my Mom since in his way he needs me more. Sorry for the depressing blog tonight but sometimes I need to get these things out as I have become very reliant on myself and occasionally need to vent. As an only child I am quite used to that actually. I learned how to entertain myself at an early age and help out around the house (its how I got extra allowance too LOL)
     If you have made it this far in my blog I applaud you and appreciate it very much. Lets see;  how about a joke to lighten this up , here goes:

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out
to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it
very highly..'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went
to last night?'

hehehehehe
Aw ladies & gentlemen I'm just not into my blogging tonight so I bid you ciao for now.  I can tell you tomorrow's will be much better so stay with me .....

They're called Boobs Ed (to quote Erin Brockovich)

     Do you all remember when I said I won't post nudes of myself and that those are special, well I MEAN that and I won't, but I did post a pic or two of myself on my other website and you can see major cleavage but my God you would have thought I posted Col. Sanders secret recipe. They got hits and very nice responses but I had to laugh. I mean there are so many bbw and curvy ladies on there posting pics of themselves naked in some very interesting poses, and they are making a fuss over my 2 little pics. I will post them here at the end so you can see, and believe me nothing special, nice but well you'll see. Nothing more than my friend and I showed at this German restaurant we went to this summer but men love them - bless them! LOL

     I am having a good weekend and I really can't pinpoint why, just in a good mood. Almost done with my prezzie shopping and yesterday while I was out I stopped for gas. I saw this shadow in the bushes and it turned out to be this little dog. He was adorable but he was going near traffic so I called out and crouched down and he came over to me. I was going to take him because I mean I didn't want him to get hit with a car right? He scooted away though but this woman saw him and yelled out  seems he got out of the car and she didn't know it. She was able to get him though and was thanking me over and over. I was glad he had a home and a well pups will do that to even the most diligent of owners. I felt good that I helped LOL    

     I am feeling good except my knee is acting up again. I have gone to the gym and I wear my shape-ups so I don't think that's the issue, but man I can feel it when I walk. I guess I WILL have to see a doctor - damn it!!!

Taking it easy today and finishing cards. Pat had to work so I was up at 6 since his alarm wakes me too, I went to Target to look for gym shorts for my dad but no luck. I may go to Modells otherwise it's Amazon baby! They have everything I swear. hahaha

      Well here are the pics, like I said no nudes, well none that are for public view! and they are me so scary yah??   LOL

T.G.I.F

     Hey All...I read something cool today and it went something like : "If one has fear of the thorns, then one should not reach for the rose." I really liked this quote and I feel what it says. It reminds me that as we travel the groovy path called life we are going to run into adversity and things may be difficult. We need to remeber that we may need to take a deep breath and follow through even though you occasionally may fall on your arse! We must expect a cerain amount of pain. Really, how interesting would life be if we were never challenged, if we could just have all the great things we wanted without any trials? At first it would be like hell yeah baby..bring it!!  After awhile though I really believe we would get tired of no challenges, I think our basic natural instint is to have adventures and to go toe to toe with other people in. In extreme of course this can lead to wars and that sucks but on a regular day to day I think we like to prove ourselves to others. I mean the prize is worth really nothing when it's just handed to you.
     Which brings me to another point, which is respect.  It takes a lot for me to truly respect some one, and class or money rarely come into play, for me it's all about character. I only hope that somewhere out there someone has uttered the words:  "Mary? Yes I respect her."   I could go on & on, yes folks she is in a contemplative mood, look out!! LOL  I will go home and relax tonight. Share a meal with the hubs and enjoy some wine and contemplate so many things that, in my head, demand comtemplating. Like why the hell are there so many words for off white, I mean there's ecru, eggshell, vintage, the list goes on... and why is the word gnome have a silent "g" I mean why bother adding it if you are not going to say it?? Mary world uses all her letters no matter what!! I've been known to add some to existing words to make it more interesting. LMAO
     Just over an hour to go and this time of night I have two groups here. One group who is more dedicated shall we say. They chat and all but they are not loud really. Then there is the other group and they are definately loud. I have no problem with loud but when others are on the phone and can't hear it's disrespectful and that I DO NOT care for!  They are good people but workplace is workplace. If no one is on phones, well that's different then, but well it has to be inforced by me, Mama Mary as I call myself LOL   Mainly because I can be almost all of their's mom!
     Stick a fork in me I am done! Bring on the weekend, finishing cards and getting a haircut otherwise - nothing planned.  Flying by the seat of my pants :-D   so ciao for now and you all enjoy your weekend!!
    

Keep Warm and Snuggle Up

     That title my friends is what is on a mug that I desperately want. LOL I saw it on a website and I asked the lady where she bought it and she said the Christmas department at Mark & Spencer. I looked online and no luck so I figure it must be store only, oh well. I will live first my boot now the mug -  I'm moving to England! hahahaha
     What a day today, first of course it's the anniversary of John Lennon's murder. I remember it well as my friends and I were listening to the radio hanging out in the basement when the DJ just scratched across the record to announce it. We all got so quiet. Now granted when The Beatles were hot we were all really young but there music seems timeless and of course we all know it!  Next there was a shooting at a college campus called VA Tech and my manager's daughter is there. She couldn't get through to the school ans she was so panicked. Finally she heard from her daughter as the phones lines were blocked. What a relief becasue they repeorted the shooter near where her daughter was.  I just can't imagine what mindset must you be in to open fire at random people. It happened there 3 years ago and 33 people were killed!! So sad.
     Lastly and in the grand scheme of things not really important was that I survived our Holiday Pot Luck. Wasn't too bad but I had no mac&cheese, no corn pudding, no potato salad, no bread, no beans, no rice, well you get the idea. ALSO not  any desserts at all. I made my eggnog flavored coffee to ease my soul! I did allow myself one piece of sweet potato since i can have them on phase 2 even though I rarely do any.  LOL   So I think I will make it this holiday season as I have to keep on track as I have said in the past  I have plains.  I mean to make them happen too.   Work is good and I am very lucky I have a good group of people I work with.  
     Spoke to Jo-Ann, and she got the coat I sent her and it's too small but she is keeping it for next year. She is doing well also and she said that Christmas will be hard but as I told her do what you can. Don't cook anything too tempting, have people bring things of that sort and if any leftovers happen make them take them home so they are not in the house. One thing to be home thinking , hmm I would love some chips or cake but you have to go out and get them which usually helps in preventing you to BUT if they are in the house all you need to do is walk to the kitchen, hell you don't even have to be dressed. I rarely am when I'm home and it's later in the day and I know no one is goint to show up.  LOL There is a running gag with me and my girl Kelly, she alwasy asks me are you naked? Usually I am but I wear my blue slippers. HAHAHA Can't help it I like being comfy and naked is as comfy as you can get.  I'm weird though, I also love getting dressed up, you know cocktail dress time and perfect hair and make-up, I am such a Libra, I love it both ways!!
     I am thinking of the New Year, a new start, page 1.  For the first time i can make the resolution to get fit and know that I won't break it as I've been doing it. What I DO need to do is kick it up a notch in the New Year. I want to go the gym more in the AM and do more things when I'm there. It's a great place, called The Women's Club of Chantilly, but I don't take full advantage. Once I can excercise and breath easier while doing it (really not an issue on the treadmill anymore) I am going ot take Zumba classes, dancing to lose weight, works for me!! :-D  
Little by little I will whittle, my inches will go away.
I am strong in intent and now in my heart so my path I will not stray!    Like that? I just made it up as I typed ,  hehehe I'm such a dork!!
    Well dears I am posting a few pics of the food feast today , enjoy. There are some people looking, the different food tables (there were 3) my spicy buffalo wing cheese dip (that someone spelt wrong LOL) dessert table and then my little plate with lots of Sylvia's greens (sooo good!)  Take a look :

As always ciao for now  :-D

Food Feast Thursday Is Upon Us

     Well tomorrow is our holiday pot luck and so far we have on the menu: turkey, ham, chicken & rice, stuffing, pies, corn pudding, macaroni & cheese, pasta salad,  collard greens, yes folks it's a no carb eaters worse nightmare.  I am contributing cranberry orange relish, and sweet potatoes.  I also am bringing in a huge veggie tray with fresh veg to give those of us watching the carbs another alternative.  So I will check in tomorrow night after the day quiets down, burp! LOL
     I was right to come in today as I got a lot done. Yes still a few tummy issues but peppermint tea and then diet ginger ale have helped immensely. So all good in da hood!! Hubs had a meeting at corporate today and starting January 2nd he will be back to his old schedule.  THANK THE STARS!! This him going to bed at 9PM was getting to be an issue since I usually am up until at least 11 or so on work nights and I had to be quiet. Those who know me know how  hard that is to do for me. LOL
     I am going to my in-laws this weekend for Christmas cookie baking. I am going to attempt to send some this year but I have to check costs as they will need to be delivered as quickly as possible. I love to bake, I have so many great recipies and one I rarely make is an italian cookie called Cucidata's. They are a shortbread type of dough filled with a mix of raisins, figs, and dates then spiced up with cinnamon and cloves and sugar, and then when they are cool you drizzle icing on them and they are soooooo good. I may have tio sample one if I do make them. hehehe   
     I went to the gym this morning since I was up and couldn't sleep. Then came home and took a long shower then got ready for work.  I was able to wrap all my gifts for overseas shipping which I will mail tomorrow, and whats cool is I am early this yearso no rushing on the shipping. Now the cards will go with the cookies early next week but they don't weigh much so still yay for me!!  I have everyone but my husband bought for. He is the hardest to buy for since I am not computer savvy and the man can build them in his sleep!! Well my search continues. 
     I found out today that my tattoo artist has no openings until end of February, start of March and I am so bummed about it but I want those cherry blossoms from my ankle to my thigh on my left leg, and then my special fairy on my back. Best news is that an artist named Kamil, from England, will be in NY in May and I may be able to get a sitting with him. He did my friend's half sleeve and it's just a gorgeous piece of art!!
     So that's about it peeps....so tonight is home, Ghosthunters, then a little facebook or tumblr and finally sleep. Until the 'morrow I say ciao for now!

To Thine Own Self Be True (short but heartfelt blog)

     Sometimes I can't believe the things I say, seriously. I mean tonight I asked a friend what does it feel like to have everyone want you. WHAT AN ASININE QUESTION!! I felt stupid the moment I asked it. Thank fully my friend was gracious enough not to dog me for it or make fun of me. Could have but didn't. In reality of the situation, I do okay. I get looks from guys and always get invites to txt or skype with them more than I thought possible but I don't. Why don't I/ good question. Oh I respond back and giggle with them but that's it. So to ask my friend that question was just ridiculous. But that is my point, I am on occasion ridiculous. Maybe it's not proper and sometimes I embarrass myself which is fine with me. If I embarrassed my friends then I would be upset. 

     See I will always be the girl with a crooked smile thanks to a missing tooth. I spill stuff, I trip UP stairs (yea, really I do) I sometimes wear my food as sauce is naturally attracted to my being. I act the fool on occasion and admittedly in the past it has been to take the focus off my size. Now and even then really it's because I love to laugh and hear others laugh. There is no sweeter music. I like when friends tease me and joke around and for a few moments let down their guard. I tend to be trusting of people. One time I saw this guy stranded on the side of the road as he had run out of gas (petrol to my European friends here) so I drove to the gas station and got him a jerry can full so he could get back to fill the car up. I was on the phone with a girlfriend and she yelled at me that he could be a murderer. That thought never crossed my mind, he was stranded and needed help and I was able to help him. yea though in hindsight I see here point and it makes me a little sad that we need to be so cautious as it goes against my nature!

     The entire point of this blog is that no matter what, be yourself. Accept and embrace your quirks and individuality. They ARE what makes you one of the beautiful people!  I am ending this today quickly as I am still a bit out of sorts (went home early today from work) and I want to make some peppermint tea and unwind so i am good to go for work tomorrow. I don't want to waste my sick days for a tummy ache. I like my job and I have things that need to be done so until next time...ciao for now 

Midnight Musings

She stood on the shoreline, as the waves edged closer to her feet,

The wind blowing back her hair from her face, she closes her eyes, feeling it's warm kiss.

Opening her arms as if to embrace all around her, she leans backwards, offering herself to the night.

The sound of the waves rush through her mind, she feels her toes digging into the sand.

She mouths the words to a silent prayer, in her mind's eye, she saw her requests take flight.

Dispersing throughout the sky, willing itself to be heard, to be considered, to be granted.

 She lowered her body into the sand, digging out a hole to fit. She lay, caressed gently by the water, which got closer as the tide came slowly in. Starring at the stars, each it's own perfect energy source, she imagined her

energy melding with theirs. She felt the pull, she knew she was heard.

Slowly rising she finally is upright, her feet making sand trails as the sand rushes around them on the way out to the sea.

Her eyes catch the glitter, she looks down and there is a piece of marble in triangular form, a gift she knew. 

It was time, she turned to him, he who watched her in her first steps, who brought her here to take her vow.

He asked if she was sure, yes is the answer and with perfect love and perfect trust she joined the circle

No fires to light the night, just the moon's illumination that cast a glow on the sand & the water.

She knelt down and looked at him.She felt the cold steel of the blade as he anointed her.

He then offered wine to drink, cakes to eat. He put his hands on her shoulders and brought her to standing. She took the offerings and as she walked the circles circumference, she  marked the 4 corners. Once with wine then next with cakes. The remainder was ingested as he & she talked. About the Moon, about the Goddess, about love, respect for all things. Chants, Lore & Instruction followed. A new view to ponder, one that is just one of thousands of views that different people see. How you need to look with not just your eyes but with all senses. This continued until the dawn kissed the night sky and the sun rose over the Atlantic in a place called Long Island, on a beach names Jones. This is where her journey started, she realized after a fashion that she would never stop. She still continues her path, and the Goddess always arranged for her to find how to handle each situation as it arose. All these thoughts come back to her when she smells the ocean. Looking down at her hands she clutches the marble and whispers the words: In Perfect Love & Perfect Trust as she places the marble in it's hand carved box and puts it back in it's place. Yet a part of it is in her and she carries it with her every day, remembering to never take things at face value!!

WOW - two very different kinds of blogs for me tonight eh?  Okay tomorrow a comedy perhaps? hehehehehe

Well as always, ciao for now

TRUST & other things

     Okay first the other things. I am waiting to hear back from my artist to get more ink and I can't wait. Isn't it funny after the blog I wrote about not sharing nude photos of myself unless for the intended party;  I have no trouble sitting totally topless in a room, in a tattoo parlor getting inked!  LOL   Doing good, went to the gym this am but came home half hour later as I wasn't feeling too well. Took a shower and laid down until about 8:30AM. had a nice conversation with a dear friend then came her to work. One of the women here saw me coming out of the ladies room and she said how good I look and how am I doing it? I was so happy she said that as I always wonder if one can tell I am losing weight. I see it most days then some like today I feel "fatter" LOL I know but it is my life now and there will be the occasional sweet but for special times. Then they will be even more special :-)
     Now the main title: TRUST : Small word with a huge meaning. What does it mean to trust someone and to what degree? I trust very few people 100%. Those that fall into that category have my life. There is nothing I would not tell them or do for them. I admit if I ever found that the trust was broken it would kill me me yet if I asked a question and the answer did just that I still would want an honest answer.  I would do the same for them, I will answer honestly even knowing that it may break a trust. But see there is the paradox of it. I would not be afraid to answer a question honestly because trust at that level means that they trust me the same and I would not do something that would hurt them that much as to break us apart. We all fail at times and will occasionally disappoint each other but trust holds us together at these times. 
     I trust that day will turn into night, that Monday follows Sunday, things like these that are fixed are easy to believe and trust in.  I also trust the seasons although lately they have been switching it around on me a little. (We are expecting possible sleet on Wednesday & had snow in October! LOL)  Our money says In God We Trust, know why?  From what I read its that money used to be backed by silver but not anymore. If one day the government said money is no good anymore it could then be used for toilet paper as any and all value would be gone. TRUST is fragile indeed.
     I like to think I am trustworthy, I know several of my friends who trust me with that 100% and I would never break that trust as I feel the same about them. I feel honored when I am asked to handle money or issues because my bosses know they can trust me with them. I like being trusted. Now am I perfect?  Hell no, far from it, BUT that's the nice thing, you don't have to be perfect to be trusted. This entire blog came about because I was involved in a discussion today on the subject.
     I trust what my dearest friends tell me and they in turn trust me. I like how that works, it's comforting to know that I have people in my life I can let hold my soul, so to speak and they won't destroy me. Isn't that an odd analogy? LOL but it's how I see it. Okay I know you all get my point so I will not beat that poor horse anymore as I have been known to do in the past - on occasion! ;-)    So I will leave a cool poster I found on here. You'll love it, trust me! Bwahahahahahahaha    Until next time peeps, ciao for now.

Smiles

     Hey peeps, I hope everyone had a great weekend. Feel free to say hi, especially those of you from other countries. I think it's so fabulous you all read my blog. I really appreciate it.

     Tonight I was writing out my Christmas cards and then got to my special handmade cards. I plotted out in my mind what designs for which people. This is the fun part, I try to make cards they will enjoy. My goal is to put a smile on their face. My sister from another mister saves them all and made a collage for her daughter's room and there is one I made telling her how I missed her and whenever I do get to see her I see the card on display in her kitchen. Another friend's daughter told me she also has them on display and that she has told her friends about me. THAT blew me away. I was so touched to see how my cards made an impact on them. My cards are little paper pieces of love I send out since most of those that get them are not here for me to hug. I wish I could hand deliver them to everyone personally. So I finished 3 so far as each one takes about 35 minutes. I will get them all done by next weekend. (I hope LOL)

     I am feeling very sentimental tonight. I was reading someone's blog on another site and her quotes were beautiful. They made me smile, and cry. They really touched me. I could appreciate the intensity and longing of some and the dreaminess of others. I am definitely a romantic, and can be a dreamer. I am a realist as well, and that causes many tug a wars in my mind being both of those.  Right now hubby is snoring and the cat is laying next to pushed up against my thigh. I am rubbing her fur with my left hand and typing with my right. I feel very peaceful and I've said it before but it's the truth. A friend posted a pic tonight of him and his adorable dog saying the whole family was there enjoying the fireplace and playings games. How great a scenario is that?! There is no fireplace in our bedroom but I think maybe I am having the same kind of experience right now. I'm in a "I want to hug the world mood" I guess. LOL I am odd huh? ;-D 

     So I'm going to sign off but I am leaving you a great video from a group called Strait No Chaser, they are an acapella group and really good. So enjoy and ciao for now

One Hour and Fifteen Minutes.....

     .....That's when my weekend starts LOL   Husband was home today so I am bringing Chinese food home tonight for dinner. He is having Kung Pao and I'm being good with my steamed chicken and veggies no rice. It actually is a nice change from all the bunny food I eat during the week here at work.  It's been a good week and I hope all of you can say the same. Not too busy a weekend planned. I have a hair appointment in the AM then Hubs and I go for eye exams and new glasses. I like the ones I have but my vision has changed I can tell. Still only need for reading though so yea for that. The rest of the day will consist of making my special Christmas cards. I am so excited to get these going as I have a really cool card mapped out in my head. Now to bring it to fruition is another story but we shall see. Glitz this year and not too many Christmas colors, meaning red & green. Lots of green yes but rose pinks and blues & silver too.
     Speaking of Christmas we have started decorating the office. My manager has a nice size "Open" office and there is lighted garland all around it and a big wreath, my old little tree is in there too on the talk table, and I put lights around my cubicle, and added more balls to my tree and a few Christmas pals. I made little gifts to go under it, looks cute. Will go around my monitors (I have 2) with small garland and add a few more things Monday.  Our tree is also coming together but it needs more balls and tinsel. Here are a few pics ---

I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!!!!!!!!!! 
     My new coat arrived and I am very pleased. I orderd online so it's always hit or miss but this was a hit this time. I can't wait to go home and try on my new blouses and my new chemise. It's black with lace and real feminine and I will admit, sexy. I love it. I find my self buying and looking at clothes differently. I have a pair of thigh high stockings that fit me and as I'm losing they are fitting better and better. I can't wait until I can wear a belt. I mean I can now but okay I am a realist as well and as much as I may want to wear one;  right now I may well look like a cute short watermelon with a belt on ..just not working for me yet!! It will though, one day in the future! LOL
     I am enjoying my new Iphone greatly. Lots of cool features and I love that my itunes are all on here also. I am determined to meet this New Year with a smile on my face and peace in my heart and love in my life. Because with those I can do anything I want. I am so fortunate to have the support I do.
     I was told a really good chicken recipe too today by my manager that I will pass on to you: 
take a little butter (I imagine pure olive oil would work - about a tablespoon) then saute garlic in it in a pan. Season the chicken while the garlic is browning, then pan cook the chicken and when it's almost done just sprinkle a little of brown sugar over the chicken.  Sounds interesting  and may try it ovet the weekend. Will let you know how it turns out.   Well lovlies  I'm signing off as there really is nothing earth shattering going on. peace out and ciao for now, this bird has flown!!

Well the weekend is near

     This seems to be my blog time lately, around 7PM. I am so excited, tomorrow we decorate the office and bring festive here. I am so looking forward to it. We have a nice tree and lots of ornaments, I have lights for  my desk and I even have a special Christmas mug I use. LOL 
     Next weekend I have a party to go to and I can't wait. Good people and lots of laughs and wine!! I plan on enjoying myself to the max. Hopefully we can coax the host to play piano and we can sing & dance too. I love parties that can get crazy like that but sadly I don't go to many but it makes the ones I go to so special. I have friends that go to outings like that and I love hearing all about them. I truly can feel the fun when they talk about it and when I see pictures it shows also. It's great to share that with them. I will make sure to take some so I can share with you all.  
    I dropped another 2 pounds, so thats 37 total, and I know thats a lot but I have a lot to lose and it gets dicouraging at times but it's getting clearer to me that I can do it. It's so odd, I've tried this so many times and have had good results but not as steady as this and never have I had such determination. It helps that my manager is also getting more fit and we help each other. It's nice to talk with those that understand, like an office support group. Another lady here has had a lap band done so she is also losing. I think the band is better than the gastric bypass. Now I know if I had that done I would probably almost be at the weight I want if not less than it  but those I know who have had it done they look very drawn. They look and feel beter yes but mostly women look that way. I think it's the way females lose weight. It's like from top down, like a melted candle and the surgery just seems to show it more. I also heard someone I know almost died because their surgery went wrong. It's scary too. I don't fear death, I fear pain!! HAHA  but of course I don't want to die before my time. I am young enough to enjoy so much of life yet. I want to skydive, yes you heard me. I fear heights but I think it would be awesome to do. Also of course, my England trip, as I want to be comfy in my seat.  I will not cross the Atlantic jammed in a tiny plane seat uncomfortable and hungry because the tray will not clear me. I want to arrive relaxed and ready for whatever may happen.   So many things on my to do list and I will do them!!  Are any of you dreamers?? I am so of course I have visions of what I want. I will say that when they have happened they were always WAY BETTER than I imagined!
     Wow I must be tired, I am rambling. So in that case maybe it's time to just end the blog and finish up here and then go settle in at home with hubs and the kitty. A nice hot cup of tea, and a cuddle to end the night sounds great right about now.   So hope you all had a great day and have a wonderful day tomorrow until we blog again LMAO ..  Ciao for now my peeps.