1:48am. - Good Morning

     So here we meet, in the wee hours of the morning. I've always figured they were called this as this is when you seem to wake up because you have to wee. Lol  I'm awake as I haven't been asleep yet. See, I'm having issues getting a deep breath. When I try to' I'm getting a sharp pain in my diaphragm, or at least what I think is that area. I know it's not my heart. I do get fearful, as this is the age roughly that my mother started her decline. Hubs said simply - you are not your mother!  He is correct, the hospital confirmed my last visit a few weeks back, that my heart is strong. Sadly my mother's was not.  Yet I was lying down, and I admit, had a slight row with hubs, nothing big or constant, as he has not been sleeping so he drank Too much vodka. He's not the best drunk, loving and silly one moment, then nasty as feck the next. I knew better, but I wanted to get to sleep as I'm looking at an alarm that goes off in about 4 hours. He finally was okay, and I was too, so I laid down and we cuddled. When all of a sudden I got a stabbing pain. I sat up at the end of the bed and here I am 2 hours later. I know it's not, or can't be terribly serious, as I'm here typing this, but although I can get that deep breath, it took a long time to be able to do do.  I kid around, I know I'll be fine and I laugh about it, and push too hard. Truth is, I was a bit nervous when the doctor told me that when the blood clots reach your lungs it's very bad and although you are up and moving, it's quite serious. One can get to your brain and heaven forbid, well, we've heard the stories.  Of course thus is worst case scenario. I will call the doctor when I get to work, I'm driving myself so maybe I can see her tomorrow (Monday)  I feel like a baby, get up, work, get tired. I walk up and down the steps in my home, since I have yet to get the green light in regards to the gym. But sitting here for over 2 hours reading....well my freaking ass is sore. Lol I hate this more than I can say. The first half hour was spent just trying to calm down do I could get the deep breath. Hubs was so concerned, he said let me take you to the hospital. I know he was serious as he gets scared, but really? Your drunk husband, don't think so.   This of course makes me conjure images of me driving myself to the emergency room while experiencing something very bad. This is the first weekend in a long time he's  had such bad nights, thought perhaps they were gone. Guess not.  Figures it would be now. Aren't we a pair? Lol I love him though and vice versa. I pay taxes, there's always an ambulance. But again I've a strong heart and a stubborn personality. I just need to be able to get horizontal. I'm a bit bored right now if I'm to be truthful. Hopefully I can go to sleep soon. Otherwise tomorrow will suck.  Lol xx