Sometimes reality bites

Well last night I did something I've been planning for a little while. After I left work I went and auditioned for a local theatre group. It's been so long since I've done any productions and I so enjoy it. Well long story short, I do my audition and then I waited. Finally the director of the group came out and told me thank you but I am not what they are looking for. Now, although rusty, I have a decent voice and looking around I think I got it. I am too fat for their liking. Of course he didn't say that but I've done enough auctions to know if I was "on" or not and I felt I did well. Yep though, there was not any extra weight on anyone there. Oh well, their loss!! Yet even as I say that I want to cry. I won't though. I'm working hard to get fit and they won't know how much an asset I would have been. It's community theatre for heavens sake and even on Broadway there are, shall we say, people of size. I'm not a stranger to being excluded from things because of my size but it took me by surprise. Both that they did that (although never exactly said, but you know the vibe)and that it hurt me as much as it did. So much for my fuck 'em attitude lol
Aw peeps, I just want to be judged on my merits but I suppose as long as people judge with their eyes things like this are bound to happen. In the grand scheme of life there are so many worse things and I am loved by those who matter so I'm doing okay. It just floors me sometimes! Well today is a new day and there are other groups. I have doctors appointments this week and more important things to work through. I'm just venting because it does help. Thanks for reading these silly posts of mine. You all rock!! Ciao For Now