I am sitting here watching a movie with the hubs, it's called Hanna, bit odd since I came in about 40 minutes into it but it's keeping my interest, so not that you know it but I'm watching about 10 minutes then writing, watching 10 minutes writing...LOL
I have to say peeps that I so try, I really do but I fall short and all I can say is please forgive me. :-D I really want to go live life and have those i care about live theirs and intertwine where we will but I always seem to go one step over, I realize this then I do stop but i so love human interaction. I find people watching very interesting. People are beautiful and have great stories that they want to tell, How can you not find that interesting? I do get jealous though, I admit it, I have no reason or more importantly right to but I do, it's part of me. I'm not sure where this blog is going, follow me, should be interesting....
Can you tell I am in an odd mood? I get angry with myself for not controlling my emotions better and doing silly things, writing not needed emails, for dogging myself because one stupid group of narrow minded people don't want to let you in to do a play with them!!
Now I had a good day really, my morning before work was quite enjoyable as I chatted with my friend and he had me laughing, he's good at that. Then at work I got the sweetest email, my second owl pic, no 3rd actually, and it so brightened my day, funny how little things like that can just make you smile and I love them...rest of the day was spent working on a power point presentation, left pretty much on my own as my co-hort was training our two newest employees. Today was his birthday, you saw the desk yesterday. Well he enjoyed the fuss I could tell, we got him a cake and our manager & I got him an Itunes gift card. It was nice :-) I know why I feel off center. I FUCKIN' CAVED!!! I had a piece of birthday cake!! I hate myself for it. Normally I do not beat myself up over my choices but this one, this piece was used to make me feel better after I wrote that too long email, after I got upset all over again about the failed audition for the theatre group, I was so terribly fallible and I indeed failed!! I am just calming myself, I have an echo cardiogram in the morning and a stress test on Friday morning. Just want the doctors to end and so I shoved cake in my mouth....AAARRRRRGGGHHH Okay I was stupid but the rest of the day was veg and protein, no carbs until that chocolaty yummy so in reality I can let it go, tomorrow is a new day, right? Right!! I've got pent up energy (probably a sugar rush lol) but so many things I'm hearing, a guy who worked with me, well his Mom just died, then my friend I told you about his sister & life support, well she died also, a woman at work, her husband is quite ill, it's so much bad news, then my friend heard bad news from his friend, his Dad is still not 100%, so maybe I can see why I over react to a cute owl pic, or friends making me laugh, we all have our shit we are going through and we need that human interaction to ground us and keep us, for lack of a better word, sane!! So I admit, I need people, I am fine with my own company but I need the stimulation of another's thoughts sometimes. Well peeps right now I am going to put the netbook away and lay next to my hubs, try to calm him as he can't sleep due to his itching. Just be here for him in case he needs me. It's what I do!! Here is a pic i took tonight as i got into my car.
As you can see, it's been a day! I have very little make up on, lipstick is ALL gone, and I had just gotten into my car so I am windblown, but I am glad to be going home, for some reason I think that is conveyed in this pic, so there ya have me, the sans make-up chocolate cake eater just glad the day is over! hahahaha Again, Ciao For Now
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