My Friends Mother Died Today

    My other friends brother died two days ago. Another two friends lost a grandmother and grandfather both days between each other.  I just want to say if you have people in your life you love, people who make you smile even when they make you shake your head and wonder, let them know you love them. Days are not promised to us.
Love you dad, love all my family and friends.  ALSO: You special few know who you are - love you all dearly.
 Thats it guys

One Day More

    No, not the fabulous song from Lez Miserables, but means that tomorrow is Friday.  Off to NYC I go and its gonna be a hot time in the old town for sure.  I mean that literally peeps. The weather is going to be hot and at my Dad's muggy!!! See dad has no air condition, and that's not a real issue but he also for whatever reason only opens one window.  I on the other hand open them all.  My room has a window box  air conditioner but its not up yet, normally its not needed until July but with both windows open and my ceiling fan I will "rough it"  LMAO
    I think I will be staying near Sis' house this trip and that works, she is closer to the water and if its not raining perhaps we can meander over to the shore line and feel some sand between our toes. Atlantic ocean beaches are awesome. But then I am biased on that. I did live in CA and went to the beaches there but its not the same. Unless we are talking Monterey or Carmel. I could easily live there. Its just gorgeous. The rest of Cali is meh. Hubs family is from California and we may be headed there in October for a wedding.
     I found the coolest thing last night. Its called PaintNite.  It takes places in a bar or restaurant and you paint a picture and drink and eat with friends and others who are doing the same thing. It looks so much fun. They have a painting that everyone will be doing. Some are easy some are moderate. They all look awesome and sis and I are going to go and I also think several ladies at work here in VA want to do this. The finished painting is usually about 11X15 or so. They look really cool and I am excited to do this. Check it out at www.paintnite.com   They have them all over the US in most states. Always up for something fun and new. I'd love to take cooking classes or bar classes also. Love stuff like that.  
     So thats it for now, I'm sure I will be posting over the weekend or at least when I get back from NYC. Ciao For Now

I Want To Be 100% and I Want It Now

    Patience you say?!  Bollocks I cry!   I dont like being in a state of flux in any way.  I look fine, but I guess if I'm telling the truth I don't feel fine. This is not normally an issue as everyone knows of my blood clots that decided to nest in my lungs a few weeks ago. My biggest test will be this weekend when I go visit my Dad. You see, he has no idea I was in the hospital. If you recall I never mentioned it to him, as the man, for whatever reason, freaks out when I'm ill. He gets all nervous if I have a stupid head cold, imagine if he knew I was in the hospital with blood clots and he couldn't do anything?? It was the general consent that in this case the less he knew the better. I mean I wasn't dying, and even then I'd be hesitant to say anything until I had to.  That may seem mean to some of you, but the man watched his wife suffer and die so I am not going to add anything to his pain that I don't have to.   The problem is that I get winded very easily as of late, and when I am at my dad's I do quite a bit of cleaning and I know that I will be slower than normal doing these. I am going to have to hide any distress I am feeling.  Oh BOY!!!   I love that house, but my god it has more stairs than Hogwarts!!!
    Not much going on today, I have a new work schedule, 9 to 5, ooh sounds like a song.. LOL   Meetings today as a new module is being presented at work that we will need to support. All in all, just going on course, steady as she goes. Ciao For Now (maybe lol)
     I'm back HHAHAHA , and we had our conference call meeting. The head of the meeting was from our UK office and I could have listened to him all day. LOL :-D  He was very amusing, and at one point he said "okay lets go in to reset the password again and lets pretend this time I'm tipsy as I've had some cocktails. Although not common in the US it is common here in England"  That made everyone laugh and I really found it quite funny as my friend has often said he had drinks at a lunch meeting.  Something that I think would help a lot during the day LOL   As far a meetings go, this one was not all that bad!  
      So I am leaving now but here's one last thought. Even if you can't do something well, don't let it stop you from doing it. I can't paint but here is my hibiscus flower I did in watercolors.

Ciao For Now peeps 

   

Time To Laugh

Just some things that tickle my funny bone. Hope they make you giggle too  :-D xx

I just got my deep breath HIZZAH

     Yep, finally fell asleep from just being too tired at about 4am, alarm went off and I wanted to throw the clock out the window, but then I remembered I use my phone and I need my phone so it was lucky as it remained on my bedside table. lol   I woke up and the pain was still there , I say was as it finally left me sometime around 8:20 this morning but my breathing is still not 100% today. I think its the air at work -  I'm allergic! hahaha no, but in all seriousness, I got a little scared last night. I just out and out tired of the whole thing.  One of my friends teased me as to when next year I will be in hospital again and I understand that I laughed also, it seems that I'm a yearly patient, always holidays, although this year I was off a few months :-D  Truth is I'm sick of being sick, the more I try to get healthy the more I get ill.  WTF????  I'm even eating vegetables, going to the gym, its so weird but then again, Im a little odd so perhaps this is just the way its going to be. Sigh
    In other news, nothing, it's only Monday  LMAO     Ciao For Now

1:48am. - Good Morning

     So here we meet, in the wee hours of the morning. I've always figured they were called this as this is when you seem to wake up because you have to wee. Lol  I'm awake as I haven't been asleep yet. See, I'm having issues getting a deep breath. When I try to' I'm getting a sharp pain in my diaphragm, or at least what I think is that area. I know it's not my heart. I do get fearful, as this is the age roughly that my mother started her decline. Hubs said simply - you are not your mother!  He is correct, the hospital confirmed my last visit a few weeks back, that my heart is strong. Sadly my mother's was not.  Yet I was lying down, and I admit, had a slight row with hubs, nothing big or constant, as he has not been sleeping so he drank Too much vodka. He's not the best drunk, loving and silly one moment, then nasty as feck the next. I knew better, but I wanted to get to sleep as I'm looking at an alarm that goes off in about 4 hours. He finally was okay, and I was too, so I laid down and we cuddled. When all of a sudden I got a stabbing pain. I sat up at the end of the bed and here I am 2 hours later. I know it's not, or can't be terribly serious, as I'm here typing this, but although I can get that deep breath, it took a long time to be able to do do.  I kid around, I know I'll be fine and I laugh about it, and push too hard. Truth is, I was a bit nervous when the doctor told me that when the blood clots reach your lungs it's very bad and although you are up and moving, it's quite serious. One can get to your brain and heaven forbid, well, we've heard the stories.  Of course thus is worst case scenario. I will call the doctor when I get to work, I'm driving myself so maybe I can see her tomorrow (Monday)  I feel like a baby, get up, work, get tired. I walk up and down the steps in my home, since I have yet to get the green light in regards to the gym. But sitting here for over 2 hours reading....well my freaking ass is sore. Lol I hate this more than I can say. The first half hour was spent just trying to calm down do I could get the deep breath. Hubs was so concerned, he said let me take you to the hospital. I know he was serious as he gets scared, but really? Your drunk husband, don't think so.   This of course makes me conjure images of me driving myself to the emergency room while experiencing something very bad. This is the first weekend in a long time he's  had such bad nights, thought perhaps they were gone. Guess not.  Figures it would be now. Aren't we a pair? Lol I love him though and vice versa. I pay taxes, there's always an ambulance. But again I've a strong heart and a stubborn personality. I just need to be able to get horizontal. I'm a bit bored right now if I'm to be truthful. Hopefully I can go to sleep soon. Otherwise tomorrow will suck.  Lol xx

My Weekend My Own

.    Saturday, I found myself truly annoyed at everything I was looking at on Facebook. The republicans blaming Democrats and Vice versa. The sad news of people who are under arrest or were traumatized or worse killed.  Who was on, came by, left posts on their pages. Sans a few health updates from people, it all just seemed so ridicules. I didn't care. It was time. Logged off and didn't come back until a little earlier to wish someone a happy birthday. She lives overseas and I didn't want to be too late in her day. Time zones and all.  So last night, hubs and I had a lovely dinner I made, played several rounds of Trivia crack which we are both equally bad at sports. Truth be told I do a tad better but he guesses well. This morning was a lazy Sunday, went for a drive. Did not go on Facebook. When I woke up,  hubby told me it showed I was on Facebook 23 minutes earlier. I wasn't, no clue why it says that.  Well I need a break.  I'm going to NYC this weekend and I'm looking forward to that. Hopefully in July I get to see my friend from England, truly looking forward to that.
     As I mentioned on FB, I did get my mani. She did a great job. Not getting a pedicure right now as I end up with little balloon feet at the end of each day. I'm drinking lots of water, taking a water pill and yet, bam! Sausages for toes! I'm not patient, I want this sorted, me dodged. I want to lose weight as I'm eating well, NOT gain weight due to water. In time I know, but ARRRGGGHHH LOL
     So today I went and did some more window shopping, have to. Spent on my credit cards but I can't go too crazy as they have to be paid and mortgage is going to come out of the bank soon. Hubs still not working, and it's tight right now as I list a week of pay being in hospital. So I found myself at Bath And Body Works. It's filled with body lotions, bath gels, scrubs, cute make up bags, candles. I think I smelled every bottle there. So many lovely scents. They had a lavender lemon scent, citrus basil, both clean and fresh. Warm vanilla sugar, plumeria and the new Hawaiian scents,with island flowers. Intoxicating. I bought a lotion for work, just one though.  I also adore the company Molten Brown, they are divine but I can't afford them right now. I got a lovely scent for last Christmas from my friends across the pond. I made that bottle last so long. Lol they have a new honeysuckle scent I am dying to try. Maybe birthday time :-)  
       So I'm sitting here smelling like a Bounty candy bar. I put my coconut oil on and it's great but I smell like coconut. So I either want a candy bar or a tropical drink. Hahaha. Coconut oil, I put that shit on everything!  Well my arms, legs, under my eyes, hands. It's great for cuticles.  You can use it to cook with also. It's so versatile, we bought a big jar of organic extra virgin coconut oil. I put some in a small jar that I keep on my night table. My newer ritual. Well it's been a full me weekend, so not a lot going on. Back to work tomorrow, so I'm off.  I'll be back tomorrow night. Hope you all have a fantastic Monday. Ciao For Now

Assessment

.    Took a shower, and standing in front of a mirror. An assessment, my assessment. Smaller but still big. Skin pale and shows scars of several surgeries. At the moment, legs are decent but ankles and feet are way too puffy. Pan up and there is more of a definitive chin, and a damn decent looking face, if I do say so myself. And there is a smile on that face. Despite the fact I am far from perfect, but as I look at my chub in all its naked glory, I am happy knowing that there are people out there who find me sexy, hot even. Even better - I feel that way.  I've seen pics on Facebook of women in a group I'm in who are way bigger than me, others way smaller. In the end, it doesn't matter what they look like. What I look like. I am loved and I love. I am basically happy. How better can life be when you have love and happiness? Going forward with this as my guide....
     So, a Dad quip time!! HAHAHA Was on the phone with my dad before. He said he was at the drugstore and waiting inline when this lady said to him, "you go ahead of me buttercup". So dad laughs and tells her that no ones called him buttercup in a very long time. So she says that's a shame. Well dad goes up and pays, and as he's leaving, she says goodbye and gives him a kiss. Whaaa, oh jeez. What the hell cologne is dad wearing, or are the women in Queens now all turned on by generic Aqua Velva? Lol my dad, the silver fox. Hahahaha.
     Well peeps I'm good but nothing really bloggy in my bed. I'm concerned about my swollen tootsies. I really think my meds need adjusting. I feel okay, but tired. Looking forward to the upcoming summer. Beaches, friends in NYC, hopefully celebrating hubby getting a job. Oh yes peeps , hubs is still looking. Sigh.  Well it's life and that goes on. So until next time peeps, I will say, Ciao For Now.

Bullying or Funny?

     How do we define bullying? Isn't it when others, hurt physically or emotionally someone perhaps different looking, or weaker, or shy, or a nerd, etc. this makes the person sad, uncomfortable and worse injures them or in the most extreme causes so much grief it results in death? We've all seen it, read the articles and perhaps even done it a little bit. Right? So we are now adults and we don't do this, we fight for our children and those who are bullied. We post righteous posts on our Facebook pages. Well I have to say I saw something today on a persons page that really made me sad. I was actually surprised that they posted this video. The video showed a large, okay fat, lady trying to put on a pair of jeans. She had a belly, round and blemish free pale skinned. She was in her undies and she actually was pulling up her belly to stuff it into the jeans that obviously weren't going to fit. I admit I was surprised she let that be filmed. One of the next posts on his page was support of people who helped a child being bullied, and asking or support against bullying.  Something clicked and I thought, yay for you for being against bullying yet you posted a video obviously making fun of a fat chick putting on ridiculously too small pants. Hmmmm, excuse me, but isn't making fun of someone bullying of sorts? So......
It amazes me that on one hand you have all these groups who over the years are now for the most part accepted, Bruce Jenner is now Caitlyn, yet we still find making fun of fat people perfectly okay? Look, I'm fat, I kid around myself. I have done this most of my life, because if I laughed at me like they did then they hung around, they played with me. Gave me a chance, my reason was to prove I could, they probably wanted me to trip or fall , I don't know.  I went through this my entire life. When I was young I would cry. My friends, the real ones stayed by me, but others would say mean things. A note was put on my desk in 7th grade. On it was the question - Do fat people use more soap when they take a bath? I ignored it, but I still remember it. Says a lot doesn't it? I've grown up, I've learned to be comfortable in my skin with the help of some dear people and my own self. So, am I immune to taunts now, have I grown such a thick skin that none of it bothers me? Nope. It will always bother me, the way ALL bullying and making fun of , or hurting bothers me.  So please be mindful of your words or  actions. Those kids don't deserve to be bullied, to be in fear of being or looking different. Those kids don't, nor do those teens, young adults, or adults. We are all different. Some of us are different colors, different sizes, love different people.  We enjoy different things   ALL bullying sucks. Laugh with me, not at me.
Ciao For Now

I Got Nothing Much Today

    No really, Im having a day from hell, my legs and feet are so swollen today and its bugging the hell out of me. I have drunk about 52 ounces of water / tea combo. I am not pleased. I will sleep with my legs up tonight I guess.
    I am not going to do a a big tonight I think I think I'm going to splurge at Torrid and buy another dress I really wanted. Very similar to the other dress I bought with different pattern and colors.  There are two brick and mortar stores not too far from here at two separate malls I found out. Yay and boo at the same time LMAO.  I need trendy things, I'm going out with peeps from work in a few weeks to a local club to celebrate a birthday for one of the guys. Going to be fun.
     There is what's called a Strawberry Full Moon. It's strawberry season everyone. Yum!!  I am so feeling the effects of the moon tonight I swear. Ack!!
     Not much else peeps, so I'm headed to prepare dinner. So as always,  Ciao For now peeps :-D

Let's Talk About My Da

     Just got off the phone with a friend and after a great convo, we touched on my dad. He was brought up as we were discussing meter readers, and my dad pulled a great one. As you all will remember, my dad, Ed, is a 87 year young skinny old Irishman. Cute as a button too. He is also, at this point the oldest semi, original owners of the houses on our block in Queens. Meaning he bought his house in 1962, I was a baby. So dad knew everyone back then, still knows lots of them. Anyway, I digress. So every month the lady comes to read the water meter, so of course dad knows her name, facts like her daughter had another baby and do on. So not long back my dad is telling me the last time she came to read the meter she asks my dad how old he is. Without blinking he answers 72! THE MAN IS 86!! He starts laughing saying " I have no idea why I told her that?" Of course I tease him, that he's coming on to her. He's too much. The man has an eye for da ladies still. Lol
     He still has friends from when he was a kid. He has a friend who he knows since he was 10 years old. Unreal, 76 year friendship. How many people can say that?!  The same group of guys were pals for years, sad to say it's just 3 of them now. The rest have died. Ugh. One friend became a chef, even owned a French restaurant in Manhattan too. My parents said he was superb. Well go back, he and the guys including my dad, we're all hanging out. They are about 17 or so. The one guy Rene, tells my dad he's going to cook. My dad was a good eater, still is. So Rene goes and takes dog food and adds spices and makes hamburgers. Of course he offers my dad some, dad loves the fog good burgers, has 3 of them. The guys are laughing their asses off my dad said, and he then finds out why. He ate 3 dog food burgers. Which back then it was horsemeat. Love that man.  He will sit and talk. Have a beer with most anyone.  My friends love him.
     It's funny, I always thought I was a lot like my mom, seems I'm actually more like my dad.  Hubs says thus makes him nervous, he's waiting for hair in my ears he said. Haha so funny, NOT!!
     Well peeps not a lot tonight, so I'm going to say night night. Ciao for now.

Patting Myself On My back and a recipe for you LOL

     That's allowed isn't it? As you all know my office boy toy often comes over to chat with me. He is very sweet and his new topic as of late has been baking. Of course I love to bake and have done so as long as I can remember. Hell my mom was baking muffins when her water broke and she was rushed to give birth  LOL  Seems he was on this kick to make cake pops. So he needed guidance.  He sits down and we chatted and unlike myself he bought a cake mix (and nothing wrong with these as they are really fine nowadays)
RECIPE:
So here's the basics - bake the cake in a 9x13 pan, cool, use a vegetable scrubber, they nylon ones and crumble the cake into a bowl, then mix in frosting until it holds together well. Chill slightly then roll it into balls, little smaller than gold balls. At this point if you are making cake pops, stick in lollipop sticks. Its easier just to make cake balls  LOL   So once they are made put in the fridge to chill. In the meantime melt chocolate chips or which ever flavor and dip the balls in it to coat. Put on wax paper and then back into the fridge to harden the chocolate.  Enjoy   So easy right??

Well seems he made them over the weekend and he brought me one to try. He didn't quite get the part about melting chocolate chips and tried to melt a jar of pre made frosting. Which although it melted it did not harden the way the chocolate chips would so the balls were a bit messy. He was adamant I try one, so I took a little bite and put the rest of it in a tissue for later. Despite the look of them they taste was really yummy. I could easily have eaten the entire thing in one big bite. The pat on my back is for me only taking a nibble to please him and then the rest I gave to my cube neighbor as i wasn't going to eat the entire thing. I didnt want to hurt his feelings by not taking one, and my cube mate next to me is like a goat, eats anything  LOL   So all are happy. They were very good though and if I wasn't being aware of what goes into my mouth I could have eaten that full one plus about 5 more  LOL
So there you have it my proud moment of not eating cake and saving my indulgences for another time  :-D

Sunday Morning. ( and evening too)

     Maybe Sunday morning is a good time for reflection. I'm just thinking and that's never a good thing. Lol all in all I'm good, few things still annoy me, things in regards to Facebook for one. But that's social media and not life, so I'm actually pretty much over it. Besides its not malicious, it's just my take so it's my issue. One friend who's been on, whom I've known for over 25 years never even mentioned my being in hospital. I'm not saying I want people fawning over me, it's nothing like that, but not even a hey, how are you feeling might be nice. Anyway....
I was a bit concerned as my legs and feet have been very swollen and I'm holding water. I went to my Weight Watchers meeting yesterday and gained .8 of a pound. OH THE HORROR! I know that's nothing really but I was decent all week, well I did eat a donut. Okay 2! But they are Duck Donuts (company name look them up)  hot out of the oven and divine. Not an everyday occurrence. Well I looked at my meds and the 20mg of Xarelto I am taking I was supposed to start tomorrow, the 15mg I was taking when I left the hospital was supposed to last until then. They didn't. Seems I was taking them 2x a day and I was only supposed to take one a day. My own stupitidy. Hopefully all will right itself now. This morning my legs and feet are not swollen, good sign.
     I am liking my look lately. So do others it seems. I got several crude requests after I put it on Instagram. Seriously, it's not like I'm a size 6.  Okay I like how I look in it, it suits me, and of course I like compliments (nice change for me) but I'm not about the crude blatant sex requests. I'm not a prude, gods know, but there is a finesse and of course the person behind the requests matters a great deal as well. Some random chappie is not par for the course.
     Well I DID get my fruit basket this week. LMAO my manager was so apologetic and I think I mentioned this already. Lol well there is this ginormous pineapple in it, so today methinks it's time to grill some pineapple. Also thinking a trip to the market to see if I can find a ripe mango and make some pineapple mango salsa. It will go well with the chicken I'm planning on cooking this week.
     Time to go great the world. Had a great lazy morning. Slept in until 10am. FABULOUS!!  Had a lovely breakfast of yogurt with granola and fruit, now I'm showered and ready to show my face. Lol
So ciao for now peeps
     Okay it's now almost 8pm. I did a few odds and ends and have just taken another shower. It was so very hot and sticky today, I just needed to cool off. Would have loved to go into a pool, but alas, there is none. We ate light tonight. I made cole slaw, I use raw honey and light mayo. So it has way less sugar and fat plus I don't laden it down with mayo so it's still nice and crisp and refreshing. I prepared turkey sandwiches. Nothing special, but I tell you. At our meeting yesterday it was discussed that we should actually enjoy our food. I do enjoy my food, that's the problem lol. I enjoy food too much. Hahaha. I did use this new bread though. Called Ezekiel bread. It contains ancient grains. Quiana, Spelt, Barley, Amaranth etc. very dense bread. So I toasted it, placed my broiled turkey breast plus a few thin slices of sharp cheddar cheese. The piled on lettuce, tomatoes, carrot slices, radishes. Thin layer of sweet hot honey mustard and took a bite.  WOW. So good!  About 2 spoonfuls of cole slaw and iced tea.  Grapes for dessert.  Diet? Don't think so. Was so yummy and I ate a sandwich .....while watching my weight. Glorious. I get bored easy, this helps me not get bored. I'm not going to go on and on about weight as that gets boring very quickly. Just pleased when something new (the bread) tastes good.
     Spoke (well texted) with my friends son, well he's my friend too. They had an excursion to Amsterdam to play football. From what I saw posted on Facebook, they did very well. Kudos boys. He's a good lad, he will go far. I just know it. He has a good mom and dad, they raised him well.
     I'm thinking it almost time to put on the kettle, a nice cup of tea while the storm goes on outside. Thunder booming, and lightning putting on a show, love it!! I bought new slacks for work, very excited. They are white, fit well but damn it they are too long. I even bought petite length. Sigh. Well at least they fit well. I can get a few other colors for work at least. Just need to hem them. No shock there. Lol
     So peeps, I'm going once again. Have a fantastic Monday.  Ciao For Now

My first week back and new clothes

     So here I am getting into my day and just went to get my leave rep all my final paperwork from when I was out.  I'm sitting at my desk, feeling decent and then I walk to the other side of the building to where they are and when I get back I had to sit for a moment as I had to catch my breath. THIS SUCKS!  Im cool now, only took a moment but it's annoying  LOL
I've been having very bad nights this week actually, I am getting horrendous leg and foot cramps. I take magnesium tablets as soon as it happens but last night I was feelng pain like never before. I have a call in to my doctor. My ankles and legs seem a bit swollen also. I think my meds may be the cause of this. Oh peeps, Im like fuck this - just shoot me.  I used to weigh a lot more, and I never had these issues when I was fatter. WTF?????     i was told by her (mt DR.) to walk slowly and pace myself.  I have problems walking too slow, I just can't. All the years of having short legs and trying to keep up with everyone else I suppose. HA!
     On the other hand, I was able to play dress up this week with some new clothes. The dress I wore on Tuesday was banggin'! I felt pretty in it too (been awhile). Today I'm wearing a new pair of kiks and they are  incredibly comfortable. They are by GH Bass. Pink and tan, right up my alley lol
I'm hoping today is a slower day, I need to get myself sorted. Still feeling the effects of very little sleep last night.

    GUESS WHAT?!  I just got a call and there is a fruit basket being delivered to my home today. LMAO   I'm not going to be petty and I  thank them, and thats all Im saying :-D
be back later peeps, day is busy  Ciao For Now

Happy Hump Day Peeps

    So yesterday was my first day back to work and it went fairly well. My reception from my manager is amicable but its lacking the warmth that was there. I have no clue as to why, I mean it's not like I planned getting blood clots in my lungs. I also looked up my profile and I was correct that no tribute was done for me while I was out.  I am not angry at this, i am hurt by it. I always do whatever favors I'm asked, I never say no to helping on any projects and yet no floral tribute which is the norm. I know this as I do them for others at least 5x a day, employees call in requesting them for sick employees or births or deaths. of well. Just gives me more reason to get ready to move on.  
    On the other hand my co-workers were very happy to see me and this was lovely.  I wore a new dress and I have to say I felt very pretty. I got several compliments and one lady was like mary you look great, you can see you're losing weight and not to be odd but your boobs look great  LMAO I laughed out loud. She said don't think I'm weird and I let her know hell I'm just happy anyone notices them.  :-D 
Here's the pic 

So peeps all in all the day went well, but I was tired last night. I fell out about half 9 my hubs said. I feel stronger today and my breathing although still labored when I walk, IS getting better. Still on my pills and we shall see when I go to the doctor on the 11th of June if that's going to change.  So until later (or tomorrow, next day? lol) I am saying Ciao For Now 

2AM

Good night

Holiday Weekend

     Sooooo I went out early this morning to go check out the fruits and veg at the farmers market. Was a little chilly which felt nice. Sunny day so far and I brought back some strawberries and cucumbers and some fresh basil.  I'm planning on making marinara sauce tomorrow.  So simple and yes it's a sauce, no meat, or meat flavors in it.  Simple whole wheat spaghetti for tomorrow nights dinner.  Again I lasted about 2 hours before I had to head back home. I lasted a half hour more today and am contemplating heading out again.  Way to nice to stay inside.  BUT....my meds are causing some issues in the bathroom. Not to be rude, but I think you know what I mean. So lots of yogurt being injested to help counter this.
     I really can't wait to get to the gym again but not for awhile yet.  I see why, just walking around a gets me. My life at the moment is basic, boring and un exciting. Still. It's going to be epic when I get moving again.  Once again.   I was looking at pics of myself and I have changed. In a good way (mostly) so onward and upward.  I try not to get jealous or petty but I often fall short of this.  Life here is a steady course, love is there, but I'd honestly replace the love right now for a steady paycheck from hubby. Sigh.  It's getting tight again. But at least this time all those big bills are paid off until next year and we will be able to pay next year. I'm hoping. If not. I'll be writing this in NYC.
     So I want to wish everyone a happy Memorial Day, remember all those who fought for us. The rest of you have a great bank holiday. And just a fabulous Monday to the rest of you.  Safe travels to two friends, have s great time on your trip.  Until next time Ciao For Now.

Mona Lisa's and Madhatters

     I do enjoy that throwback song. Has nothîng to do with the blog really, lol. I'm sitting in the middle of my side of the bed, in an upright Buddha position (complete with cute round belly). Rub it right and you'll have good luck. Wink Wink. BWAHAHA  Just contemplating the day ahead of me, meaning after I actually fall asleep and wake up. Alarm is set for half 9 just in case. I've got a bit of a headache starting, but nothing major. I really hate being held up at home. I'm headed to the doctors tomorrow for my follow up. All seems well, but the humidity causes a little issue. I'm going to assume that's normal. Stupid blood clots! Actually they tell me it's quite dangerous when they hit the lungs. I guess they can go to the brain? I don't know. Meh, just another something to deal with.
     I ordered the cutest dress from Torrid today. It's black top with short sleeves and the skirt is a leopard print. Not my usual style, but fuck usual, it's time to shake it up a bit. I bought a cute shirt dress from them, and I have two nice dresses that I got at the Avenue. Sandal season so it's dress to work days. I like wearing dresses, especially since with my ink on my legs I often will not wear hose. I have a pair of black kicky sandals to wear as well. Need silver or natural ones as well. The dresses I bought were all on sale. Oh hell....Sis?? Cost?   You know I'm not thrilled with work (no fruit basket yet lol) so I'm going in looking even better than normal.  Meaning no black slacks. God don't I wear them often? :-)
     In a compliant state at the moment. What is - is. Nothing I can ever do change anyone's nature. That's cool, mine is mine, and no one will change that either. Just let those I love live their lives, join in their celebrations and be there for their pain. Love, at least in my opinion, is a constant. That fits the shape we need at the time.
     Oh peeps, my friends daughter wrote a song. Yep. She's a teen and it's very good. All the teens I know make me forget they are teens, they seem so much older. I don't remember being so wise at 14 or 16. Perhaps I was. I know I wasn't dumb, but even now, I don't feel my age. These youngins truly amaze me. I often wonder what kind of children I would have had. Fun to speculate sometimes. There is a software that allows you to put a pic of you and one of your hubby, and it calculates what a child may look like. I did it and it showed a little girl with curls. She was actually a cutie. Mad me smile, and a little sad at the same time.  I often wonder if I wasted my life. Oh I'm not crying over anything, but I sometimes wish I hadn't dropped so many opportunities. Like a cat, it would be cool to have 9 lives. Wonder how the hell they figures that for cats. Lol wow the train of thought goes off the rails easy at 2:13 in the morning.   Perhaps I should stop before this blog turns into my version of The Beatles White Album.  Hehe. So I think I will try to sleep, so until next time. Ciao For Now

Home Sweet Home

     So good to be home. Got here yesterday afternoon. Blood pressure at 117/78, and a loss of 6 pounds. Whoot Whoot. So here a sit just about 24 hours later and I'm contemplating my future. Meaning my job. For awhile now, I've known I want to move on, earn some extra cash. This episode with the hospital started on the morning of the 14th. I was released 4 1/2 days later, my manager never returned any of my calls. Oh she texted and wished me well, but no call or even a comment on my Facebook comment? Seems odd. I mean, I always felt we are friends.
       This kind of bugs me, along with the fact that I have not gotten the company flowers ( or fruit basket). No!! I'm not being a spoiled brat or big baby about this. It's a standard that we do for employees. I know what you're thinking, but as of late work has been odd. Hard to explain, but trust me, with my current financial situation, I'm not about to go look for something and jeopardize my job. But I am leaving it.
     Speaking of, a friend from there, did come to visit me. It was very sweet of her to do so. She started last September. We hit it off. She's fun, younger of course, but I don't mind this. Young in spirit here peeps. Lmao
     So now I'm here, walking a little but I'm told to take it slow. No clots in my legs is a good thing. But how the hell they got in my lungs, I'll never know.  Peeps I'm just checking in. I'm a little tired, so I'm going to go wash my face, brush my teeth and read until I drop off.  Thanks for looking and reading. I truly appreciate it. So as always, ciao for now.

Hospitals And Teddy Bears Pt. 2

.    So the day passed and now it's about 1/4 to midnight. It's much quieter now and I can here the person across the hall snoring, while down the hall someone's monitor is beeping to let the nurse know it's offline or something like that. Blood pressure was 141/74. Low enough that I should be headed home tomorrow. I hope so. I find myself awake and yet I'm closing my eyes. Understandable, as anyone who has been in a hospital can tell you, it's not not indusive to good sleeping. So I'm getting in cat naps. The nurses and techs here are very nice,
     A friend from work came to visit today. Was very cool of her to come see me. Hubs stayed and watches MadMen series finale with me. I know people are going to hate it as it left the end to interpretation. I think it was obvious if you paid attention.
     Here's to getting released and I'll be back.... Ciao for now