Well Happy New Year (a month late shhhh don't tell)

Here we are, the 5th of February, it reached a rather balmy 67°F today. Don't thay beat the tits!! I'm not ready for the beautiful weather just yet. I need new bras. Little secret, when you don't have to work or wear a bra it's Fab to be able to put on a coat and hide the fact you're not wearing one, but in warmer weather, you need to wear that sucker. Well maybe you don't but I don't care for my nips to be scraping pavement. So I found some way in the back of my closet. They were lovingly hand washed and now hanging back in my closet in a much more noticable spot. All ready for operation Mary. Yes you read that right. Taking care if my dad these past 7 months has taught me a great deal. About what's needed, what's wanted and the duffediffe between them. As humans our needs are basic. Food, water, air, take them in and expel each as our bodies are made to do. I've been focused on the needs of my dad. I make sure he eats well, gets rest and know he's loved.  This is going well aside for a few fubar moments. Myself, I've not really paid attention to. So much outside stress to deal with. Not working put a financial strain on the household but we got through it, with great juggling accounts acts and the help if family and a dear friend who is family truly. So here now I find myself breathing a little easier. The NYC house is sold. There is a little money to ease all the calls from creditors looking to be paid and a few perks. Some reasonable if not modest new furnishings, a car now paid off, and 2 new purses, that's it. But for me the change I've decided on is to not color my hair anymore. Well not blonde or red, it brunette for that matter. I'm dying it grey, yep, this way it can grow out and my grey will blend. It will probably have a slight mauve/lavender tint to it. That plus a rocking cool haircut and I'm revived. I'm not hiding me, I'm learning to embrace who I am. I've been pretty in touch with myself over the years but this is the total no bullshit me.  I'm at the point of I don't give a fuck if you like me it not. I'm going to like me. I have close friends I know love me. Gone are the days I need to speak with them constantly, I'm content in knowing they are there, and I'm there should they need me.  So Saturday I'm back to my roots, figuratively and actually 😂
I'm making my home a place where all are welcome, I sick of drama. Been there, done that. I'm a nice person. 
Which brings me to something that's been on my mind. I wonder if I'm any kind of special.  Im not sure in what manner I mean. I can sing quite well when I want, I can cook and damn I can bake!! Oh yeah, I'm a good driver too but am I special in any way.  I need more time to ponder this. Maybe this is my Sidartha time, trying to find the real me.  It's such a selfish thought yet so unselfish at the same time.  Yep that sounds like me, a total dichotomy. Two totally different mindsets constantly pulling at each other.  A modern gal, doing her own thing yet quite old fashioned in her way of tastes and needs. Libra was the perfect astrological sign for me. So how to bring the two sides together in harmony, that is the question. I'll figure it out .  Don't get me wrong, I'm no Sybil, I don't have 20 different people living in my head. Lol But the mind of a soul filled with wanderlust can feel that way I suppose. 
Where is this blog going? Who the fuck knows, who cares? Im just awake and can't seem to sleep, so my mind is spewing out psuedo intellectual queries. I'm quite interesting to talk with, I love getting into deep conversations about life, love and the universe while the Grateful Dead are playing in the background.  Right now I'm listening to them on my headphones, so I don't wake my sleeping hubby. I'm sitting naked on my bed, I just ate a small piece of naan that was left from dinner, and drinking a low sugar Gatorade. Groovy baby. So when I wondered if I was special the answer at this moment might be yes special ED!! I'm perfectly sober yet I feel high AF. Why????  Maybe I should get under the covers and try to sleep.   Oh I lost 14 pounds for the month of January. Hope to do as well this month. Remember why I originally started this blog? Still doing it but now it's going to just be part if my life, not the entire life.  So if you've read this far, all I can say is, are you bored or something? Go to sleep. Hehe .Until next time. Ciao for now