My Train Of Thought Often Derails

     Looks like I won't be going to NY again this weekend and that's a good thing. My Uncle is home finally. (They found he had a mini stroke) I spoke to my Dad and he said he sounded good this afternoon. When I told my dad the other day he got so upset I was nervous that he would give himself a stroke. I really sometimes hate being so far from him. He has great neighbors but it's not the same. Thing is if he needs me there, I can take a plane but it's still at least 2 hours. It's something that is in the back of my mind every day. Things like this bring it to the front.
     Switching tracks here. I am just so beat this week, I look like shit, I am drained. I went to  the gym and could watch myself working out.  It was not a pretty sight. Speaking of that, it's been a while since I have felt pretty. The last two weeks I just don't know what it is, I don't look like me. Im still always laughing and smiling at work and home but I just dont feel it 100% inside. Now I'm not sad or unhappy, I just feel more cocoonish, like I'm in some kind of transformation. I see people leaving comments on pictures on the sites I belong to and well it seems so easy to tell someone you don't know that they are pretty or handsome or sexy, why don't we tell the people we know? Maybe it's becasue they are attainable or not new, maybe becasue since we are known we should already know how people feel about us, but I admit no matter how weak it sounds, I sometimes need to hear that I'm pretty or sexy. Now please , I dont need to see a bunch of comments telling me I am pretty, I'm not asking for them (as much as it seems I am) I am just making a statement. I look like me and pretty or sexy or ugly is in how I am perceived, I can't help how my parents mixed up a cocktail such as myself. The way I feel sometimes if proof that they had no idea how to make a cocktail at all. Then there are days I feel like I own the world, so it's just me. The weakness my physical body is feeling is running into my mentality...it will level out, THIS I promise.
     Heard a cute joke today so I will share it.  2 boys were in church to go to confession. One goes in and says :Bless me Father for I have sined...." The little window slides back and Father Murphy says "Speak my child"  The boy says :"Well Father, I had sex with one of the local girls" The priest recognizes the boy's voice and asks "Oh Tommy, was it nancy Mulligan?"  "No Father"  "Well then was it Margaret Murry?" "Oh no Father" "Well what about Eillen McShane?" " No Father it wasn't any of those girls."  "Well Tommy say 4 Hail Mary's and 1 Our Father and be off with ya."  The boy leaves the confessional and goes nect to his friend and kneels down in the pew. His friend leans over and asks him "what did ya get?  Tommy leans in and says " 3 good leads!"   hehehehehe
     Well Hizzah!! Tomorrow is Friday and hopefully I will be joing a few friends on Saturday to go out to a nice bar tohear some bands. Kind of what I wanted to do last weekend but didn't. I hope you all have a great weekend with lots of fun things. So until next time  Cia For Now