Really?

It's 4AM, I can't sleep so I figured I'd come here and vent. Well as of yesterday I have been on South Beach Diet for a month. All in all I have done well. I have lost 23 pounds. Of course now, me being me I am greedy. Meaning I want to see great weight loss constantly. Well I got on the scale today and this week I lost a whopping 1/2 pound!! WTF!!  Half a pound, that's crazy. I've been eating my veggies, and not one carb has passed these lips. Needless to say I am a bit upset about this. The rational side of me knows this happens and then next week I may lose 3,4, 5 or even 6 pounds, but the only child part of my brain is stomping her little foot saying no no no!! I must be rewarded for my hard work, the pounds must melt off.  They don't though do they? Hell if they did, every time it rained I'd be outside with a sculpting tool.  It's just that, well, I want to do so many things and surprise so many people. I don't want to fail, I terrified of failing this. I play out scenarios in my head, things like showing up wearing fabulous clothes, beautiful jewelry, great hair & make-up, to places and parties, and everyone is amazed at how I look.  (Sounds more vain that I mean it to) I want someone to be proud of me, I want ME to be proud of me. Do you know in my entire life I can count on one hand how many times that has been said to me? I don't know, maybe it's the hour of the morning, maybe it's the position of the stars - I'm not usually this needy. Right now I just want to be that perfect size 16 that makes heads turn. 

     I think maybe I need to go back to bed and wake up hours from now and it will all be better. Today is going to be a great day, I get my new ink and price out my special piece for next time. So yea, a nice shower, good protein breakfast, and I will be good to go.  Peace out luvs this chick is going upstairs.