The Game Of Life

     Remember I said at the start of this endeavor my blogs were going to be whatever I was feeling or my thoughts? Well this is a big one!!
     A friend of mine just sent me a link to his daughter's performance he went to recently. I was blown away, she was wonderful!!! My other friend had sent me similar ones of her daughter in a musical production. She was also wonderful and I felt a tug on my heart for these children. They are not mine but I am good friends with their parents so of course I am interested in them as well. As I watched the video this morning I found myself smiling ear to ear and being proud of this young lady, who although not my child, I wanted to tell her I was proud of her performance.  I know her parents did and from the applause I could tell the audience appreciated her as well. I've done many a show and it's not always easy getting up there in front of people. Major kudos to her. Okay, sorry, I am going off on a tangent here, but these children ARE SO GOOD!!! 
     My point is that I will never be a Mother. I wanted to be.  One day I thought I was pregnant and I took a test and it came out positive, YAY I was preggers. I wanted to be sure so I said nothing to my hubby as I never had a period with me it was a question mark most months. Well long story semi short, I miscarried, Pat thought I was just hemmoraging (spelt that wrong I know) I went to my doctor who took blood, did and internal exam and recomended a D&C. Had that done and afterwards finding out I was correct it was a misscarriage she also found cancer cells inside my uterus. Okay cancer, my mom had cancer too, little unnerving to say the least. The oncologist said he would give me medication should I want to try to have a child. After talking it over with my hubs we made the choice to have a hysterectomy, so NO children for me. I remember the night the choice was made, I made sure my husband was asleep and I went to the basement and cried my eyes out. It was one thing I had always wanted and it was taken away from me.
     Fast forward to today and after so many what if's I am happy with my life. I have my niece and nephew and of course the children of my dear friends. I know I go overboard sometimes and I don't mean too but they are children. Those of you who have young ones, embrace them, love them and thank your lucky stars you were blessed with them although I'm sure at times it doesn't seem that way LOL 
     So there - it was on my mind and I promise next blog won't be so maudlin ;-) (OR BORING!! PLEASE COME BACK LOL)
     Peace out lovlies...