Life It Changes

     Yes herself has finally realized no matter how much you want to keep things the same things will change. Hopefully they change for the better and if not they at least serve as a learning experience so you do not repeat your offenses.  I will admit there is a bit of me that hates change, I am very constant in what I like, in some cases to the point of being obsessed about it. I do dwell in the past sometimes, and yes I know its not always good, but those memories, well, they make me smile. I feel instantly better and in times like now, when things are a bit hard on me, they give me a small release of tension, a mini vacation from the daily grind if you will. I am not sure I can change this, not sure I ever will want to.
     The secret is not to let it get in the way of evolving each day, as we all should do. I know I am not the same person I was a year ago,  better or worse for it, hard to tell sometimes. LOL  I see small nuances that let me know I have changed,  Very recently I was informed of something that a year ago would have really gotten to me. I got a familiar twinge but let it go. It didn't come easy but it did happen. I let it go with the realization that no matter how I felt (feel) about it,  it was (is) what it was (is). Nothing I can change there, nor do I have the right to even try. I have the right to change me but not anyone else.
      Those I love I would never want to change, I mean I love them for who they are. That's not to say that I don't get upset,as I'm sure I upset therm sometimes. Thing is I can always discuss things with them. I am known to beat a few dead horses but eventually I learn. I know things change and situations change yet please dont hold it against me if sometimes I wish things were like a year ago or even years ago. Its just that I treasure experiences and I always want to continue them but as things around us change, those experiences sometime will only be a memory going forward. That's alright now, Im realizing that patterns change into more comfortable times, closer in many ways. But I never want top get too comfortable as thats when things can fade. I want to have some fun shake ups in future times to come,  to refresh, so to speak my experiences with my friends.
     Its now quarter after 6, I'm getting ready to leave work. This has been a rough start to hopefully a smoother week. Worked straight through the weekend, cooked last night when I got home for the coming week. Hubs did the laundry - bless.  So I will possible come back later,  and until then,  here's to change! May we always experience good change, and find a little extra change in our purses too
:-D  Muah Ciao For Now
     Well it's now almost half 9. Dinner has been consumed, cat has been worshipped to her liking, now just chilling waiting for Castle to come on TV at 10:00.  I'm sitting here and I open a envelope from my dad. I had called him last week to let him know I wasn't coming up due to the opportunity of OT this past weekend. Plain white envelope, I open it. It contains $100.00. The note says  just some walking around money for you. I'm a grown woman, we have some hard times at the moment but this just had me breakdown. Hubs got somber too. I want hug my daddy like I did when I was a little girl, he's still helping me in his way. Still trying to take away my hurts.  I know my hubs is blaming himself and well, there is a bit of truth to it, but I'll not dog him. We are in this together. We will get through it that way. But well I am personally hurting due to thus. Oh not in superficial ways, like oh dear I am using st.Ives body wash instead of Molton Brown, more real ways. Not using charge cards, cash only. Not so much as hurting but really cutting back. I so want to go out to a nice restaurant, hoping we can on Valentines. We stopped trips to Outback, or sushi place. Even the kebab shop. I'm cooking for the week but I love to cook, I'm not crying really, just natural things are now window shopping. I guess the hardest thing tonight was that I cancelled my American Express card. It served me for a few months, caught up the slack so to speak but it has to go. I'll get a new one at another time. I'm not helpless, I'm not weak, I will get through this. God, I've survived a blood clot in my lung, uterine cancer, some weird infection in my leg, so yeah, this is child's play. When I'm flush again, I have some people I am truly going to spoil. I budget really well now, as I've mentioned before,  so this is a very good by product of this penny pinching experience. Those of you who know me, know I plan wisely to do special things for special people. I'm fortunate to know a few. Hehehe.
Ah peeps, I'm with the hubs, Harley-Fang the wonder cat, enjoying some tea, watching my tv in a dry  warm room. Will sleep in a somewhat comfy bed ( we need a new one lol) and go to a job in the morning. At the end of the day, I'm a pretty rich gal in what matters. So again I will say, night night and ciao for now.

Brr

Woke up to 3 degrees F, that's freaking cold! Not a whole lot today. Oh I do now how a breakfast gathering before work OT on Sunday. All of us who are working decided today let's start in a fun way. Whoohoo, she's on fire folks! Lol
    Not really going to write much, hope everyone has a fab Friday and a funky weekend. Ciao for now.

Well, Best a Laid Plans Of Mice And Men

     Well, seems this gal ain't getting to the Big Apple this weekend. Work has been crazy busy so our director actually offered unlimited OT this weekend. I can use the cash so I offered to work Saturday and Sunday. I'm going to do at least 4 hours a day. It's working on emails. It's easy peezy, so I will bring my iPod, plug in, turn on and tune out as I knock out email after email. It's boring, but easy OT for certain. I called my dad to let him know, he was disappointed but happy that I will be going up the weekend after.  

     Just hoping the weather holds out and doesn't give us snow when I want to head up. OMG yesterday we got snow. It was supposed to be about an inch, but turned out to be more like 4 inches. Let me tell you, some people have no clue how to drive in snow! Problem also was since they weren't expecting that much they didn't pre treat the roads properly the night before. The toll road I take in to work, normally a 7 minute drive ( I live 5 miles from work), took me an hour. Really an hour, it was crazy. It is pretty tough. Hubs came out with me a brushed all the snow off my car. Oh my car did so well. But I know how to drive in snow, very little keeps me from driving.  It's bitter cold out so nothing is melting, snow will stay awhile. When I left for work this morning it was 8 degrees out , or -13C. Brrrr either way. I need a scarf and hat. I finally broke down and got gloves last year. Little at a time. Lol 

     Checking in to say hey. Still congested, so doubled up on the mucinex tonight, just finished a nice cuppa, so I'm off to bed. Stay groovy peeps, until next time - Ciao For Now

Early EARLY morning thoughts

     Spoke too soon about getting sick.  Of course I now have slight chest congestion combined with raspy breathing and sneezing. Taking the day tomorrow to give one more day of rest.  Nipping this as soon as possible. NYC on Friday.  Ah, what you going to do but roll with the punches. Right?!
     So here I am, sitting up in bed, as it's more laborious to breathe lying down. Just looking through the IKEA website, book marking things I like, wish for, and need. We have an Ikea Ektorp sofa in the living room that I would love to retire down the basement. Along with hub's chair. We have a nice credenza down there with a 46" HDTV flat screen. I want to mount the TV on the wall and eventually get 2 small lamps and assorted knick knacks for the credenza. I may try my hand at making a runner to go across. Simple strait stitches, so I should be able to pull this off. My sewing machine sits gathering dust in the store room, so let's see how I muck through it. Lol I want to get a new cover for the sofa. Thinking a nice soft tan/brown. Neutral shades as I have a handmade bowl that I picked up years back from the potter. It's all shades of browns, tans, and creams. So pretty and one of a kind. Taking my palette from it. I can envision the room so clearly in my head. Fresh coat of paint. Some throw rugs to soften the room. The nesting kidney tables would look great down there also. My friends have these cool "sheepskin" throw rugs and I do believe those would look perfect in the hallway from the big room, leading into the laundry room.  That's the nice thing about IKEA, if you're willing to put it together, you can cut some costs. I'm very willing. Lol  You all know my kitchen is my bug-a-boo, again, I see it oh so clearly in my mind's eye. Hubs and I already have picked out new plates and bowls. My pretty Pfaltzgraff tea rose collection will go into the hutch in the dining room. Also taking a corner hutch from my Dad's in NYC. He doesn't want it and it will go great in my kitchen. I am going to refresh it with a little help from HGTV. It's going to house my Moonlight Roses tea cups and saucers. I have 3 sets of tea cups now, and 2 butter plates. I have a tea for one set also. That and a cup & saucer were Chrimbo gifts from my extended family in Long Island and England. One day, when this is done, I would love them to see it. I smile when I look at them. It's just such a lovely pattern. So many ideas in my head,  now we just need to both be working to get this started. Hopefully we will get a tax refund again this year. That would be lovely. 
     Hubs made dinner tonight as I was feeling quite rough. I truly appreciate when he does this. He's a good cook too. He made this ground minced turkey with mixed veg. Served with brown rice and salad. Very tasty and he made so much. We have about 3 more nights dinner in the freezer. It's almost 1:45 in the morning and he just brought me tea. I'm loved. :-D.   By him and my close friends. Don't speak to them (friends not the hubs. Hehe) as much as I'd like but I'm not concerned. I will speak with them soon enough, seeing one this coming weekend. Maybe get to FaceTime others at some point. Not much going on, so I'm a bit boring. Lmao I put a pick on Instagram tonight that said, You don't meet people by accident.  I agree. They are in my life for beautiful reasons. I need honest people who can tell me when I'm an arse yet still love me. I will do the same for them. 
     Well peeps, I've rambled on enough. So I'm going to finish my tea and try to sleep. Ciao For Now. 

So This Is Already Better Than Last Year

     I'm crossing my fingers, knocking on wood, anything I can do as not to jinx myself. This is the first year I have been relatively healthy over the winter holidays. This season I've had sniffles, minor tummy issues, even as I type, I'm a bit achy, but nothing I can't handle. The past two seasons I was in the hospital, so to find myself just chillin with the hubs on the first day of the new year, is very pleasant.  Watching The Tudors on BBC America, ah those crazy kids. Having now gone to the Tower Of London, and heard the truths it's interesting to watch now. I digress. ( me digress? lol) just saying, I'm enjoying my first day of 2015. Quiet calm day with hubs, some lovely cuddles and late breakfast. Spoke to a few friends, thinking of others. Looked at Facebook, saw posts and comments from friends on my pages and others. Put a few pics up.
     Already set up the weekend after this one. Looking forward to having tea with my sister. Once I'm better financially we will head into Manhattan and have it at the a Ritz. She is always up for something cool.  There is a speakeasy bar, one of those must see in NY kind of places, we have plans to go there in the Spring. A few shows too. I'm planning on living life and this year starts it. Want to meet new people, try new things. Small part of me wants to live back in NY. Work and travel into Manhattan and experience it all. My dear friend overseas, showed me the excitement of "the city" I miss it. I want to go there more often. I can't wait until he comes over again so we can explore the city and just have fun and laughs. He's got that type of personality, lives life fully and enjoys his fun.  Funny the rare few close friends all have that zest for life. I used to shine that way, the past few years, dulled me a bit, but I'm ready to shine bright again.  I have high hopes for 2015. I wish all my dear friends individual lives shine brightly as well. Happy New Year to you all, and to all of, may it be a great one.

New Years Eve

     Well good-bye 2014. All in all, an okay year, not great though. Didn't see some people nearly enough, not even close to enough. Did get to see my NY peeps which is great. I got to England, (and Paris) AMAZING, BRILLIANT, LIFE ALTERING!!   Those are highlights. This coming year, I plan on traveling more once hubs gets a job and my money is somewhat my own. Part of it anyway. I would like to make use of my passport again, even if it's Canada. California is a very good possibility, as one of my hubs' cousins is getting married in October. I love the idea, they are in San Diego, lots of cool things that way. Maybe a quick trip up the coast to Big Sur or Carmel. It's nice to visit, lived there years ago. I'm an east coast girl for sure. Cali, was okay, but not a full time gig, northern CA maybe if pressed.
     Hoping to hook up in NYC with some of my England friends this year, share drinks, food, laughs, craziness. Yes yes lovely. (Hoping a lot)  hanging with my girlies would be awesome. Spa weekends and trips to other states maybe.
      Also once hubs get a job, I'm looking for a new one. I'm wasted here, and I have talents I can't use. I need a job where I can show my strengths.
     
     I wish all those I hold dear, a very happy, healthy, prosperity's year. I wish beauty to surround you, good times and fun. Of course I want to be included in some of these. Needy Baggins that I am. Lmfao
      I'm tired, it's late, and I need to moisturize. So I will be back tomorrow. I hope to see some cool pics, if your on FB stop by my page, or not. Hahaha. Until next we meet, ciao for now

Happy Birthday Daddy

     Today my dear old man, turns 87. I'm not young, but I truly could be a lot older. Mom and Dad were well on their way to 40, when herself turned up. Lol I resemble my dad quite a bit. My Da used to love telling me that when I was born, he and a few other new dads were looking at the babies, behind the viewing glass. Yep, I guess they really did that, I don't really remember, so I'll take dad's word for it. He told me that the nurse picked me up and pointed right to my dad. I was a daddy girl, I admit it. Dad would alwYs take me out on Sundays while mom made our big Sunday macaroni dinner. Yes, grandparents, cousins. I was underfoot as I wanted to be included, ya know, help. (Wow, not much has changed lmfao) so dad would take me to this kiddie amusement park called McGuiness. I'd go on rides for a few hours, then dad would take me home. Movies were another treat. As I got older, I went over to the Mom side. Hell, she had cookies, :-) and recipes and we shared a love of decorating and houses. As I got older, and is watched my dad go through the loss of his mother, his sister and brothers and of course my mother. I realized this man, was strong, he held 2 jobs when I was growing up so I could attend a good school. We had a nice house, a car, summers at the shore. I never wanted for anything. Silent guardian of 221st street. I also noticed how lost he was when my mother died. He cried in church that day, I never saw him cry before. It rattled me, he cried several times after. I was scared he wouldn't want to go on. Life though has a way go going on. He worked it out and now he is enjoying life again. I go see him as often as I can, and he now tells me stories of his youth. Some are typical New York City stories. Turning the fire hydrants on as his sister and her friends walked by. Sleeping on the fire escapes. Telling his mom he was sleeping at a friends house, then they all slept overnight under the boardwalk at Coney Island. Scandal I tell ya. Hahaha my dad was so normal, such a fun loving kid. Then I find out, he ate dog food without knowing it. Lol so many stories. Odd, all my life I thought I was more like my mother and I'm finding out I'm so much like my dad. That's okay though, he's a pretty cool guy.  Until next time, love your dad's. Ciao For Now.

It Starts Early

     This morning I woke up about 4 in the morning, made myself go back to sleep, but by 6, I was awake. I've been under the weather for the last few days, and been asleep by 10pm. As I stepped out onto the deck I noticed a few neighbors still had their Christmas lights on. Growing up, the last person to go to bed turned out the lights. So it was usually me. Lol Looking at them glowing through the morning fog, I smiled and admired the pretty colors. So off to my car Tink to get some morning caffeine.  Then filled the tank with gas, took a bit of a drive to get some fresh air, as 8am wax rolling around, I went and got breakfast for us. Hubs got a steak, egg&cheese on an onion bagel, I got vanilla yogurt with berries and granola. This from a little bagel cafe near home. It's not NY bagels but they are very tasty and the owners are really nice. And it's not expensive, bonus!
     I brought our breakfast feast home, then ended up going back to sleep. Took some meds and they knocked me out. I'm working all this week, so I have to get there, no time for sick. Weird timing, after Christmas but before New Years. Hope everyone is doing something great. I'm going to a brunch on the 4th with some co-workers. Looking forward to that. I'm truly looking forward to NYC the weekend after. I may take a day or two extra to spend some time with dad. Maybe a bit of baking too.
      Well peeps, tonight, I colored my own hair, and did my own nails. Not bad if I do say so myself. It's a way I can keep my expenses down.
      I'm very boring lately, but I'm thinking of you. I see my friends antics on Facebook and have a giggle. Great parties, and trees and gifts. So glad everyone enjoyed their Christmas's. At least it seems so. Mine as well. Wearing my handmade quilt over me right now. Toasty warm.
     Off to bed for this rough feeling gal. Have a great night and great day. Ciao For Now

Merry Christmas

     I am truly loving seeing all the photos on Facebook of all the trees and the parties and gifts. It warms my heart. Thanks to all of you for sharing them. Next year I will add to these. New post Friday at some point. Ciao For Now

The Christmas Post I Promised

     Christmas Eve is upon us. As usual I find my memories taking over. My mother loved Christmas, she got me loving it too, I still do. I remember midnight mass and Christmas corsages. God they were so big, but uber cool, with mini ornaments and bells. I loved the funny ones, like the one of Santa with the nose that lit up when you pulled the string. I still think of my Mom trimming the tree every time I hear the song It's Beginning To Look A lot Like Christmas. I still shed a tear when I hear  O Holy Night , my grandmothers favorite song.  I gave tried, but as soon as I hear that hymn I get weepy. Grandma was awesome at Christmas. She had so many traditions. Some Mom did with her, others I did. I remember one of them was washing your face with Christmas snow would make your skin beautiful.  May have been something to that as Nona had great skin. Lol 

     Staying up all night cooking with the bayberry candle burning in the sink. Oh yes the bayberry candle. A staple every year. I remember them well. They sold them at school every year, along with other candles and wrapping paper. They looked the same every year. A glass holder that looked like a glass you would make a hurricane or zombie in. Filled with bayberry wax. The outside had green, or red, or hold glitter. Holly was wrapped around the stem.  Had to burn it in the sink as it burned all night long. This way if the cat tipped it over it would go out and not cause harm. 

     Washing all the "good china" because it came out for it's yearly display. It was my mothers wedding china. It's mine now and by some miracle hubs likes it. Bonus!!! :-)  these plates and serving bowls held more food than anyone could ever finish in one meal. I'm talking full house with a kids table. 25 people to cook for, and get the house ready for. I polished the furniture and wrapped garland around the bannister. Our home was truly a Christmas masterpiece of holiday decor. It always seemed so bare when the decorations came down. 

       Decorations strung across the Main Street in our town, and Mom taking me to Macy*s or Gertz to see Santa. Real tinsel on our tree, that always seemed to make the cat look like a pull toy ( not explaining that, but if you know , you know lol) we used those stencils that you sprayed with white paint on the windows to look like snow. And SNOW! Yes it seemed to snow back then.  It may be my mind playing tricks on me. It was a fairyland back then. I loved every minute of it.  Dad always sat in his chair after midnight mass and have a beer and cigar, looking very Archie Bunker. Mom and Nonna had ammaretto

and as I hot older it switched from ginger ale to ammaretto for me too. Awesome memories.

It seemed simpler, but it wasn't. It was just family and friends and lots of love.  With all the unrest going on in this world, I wish you all find a bit of peace and joy with loved ones and friends. Ciao For Now

The Alarm Is Shut, Whoo Hoo

    Two days off, no alarm, no nasty people on the phones. Just relaxing, slow easy morning with hubs, making a lovely breakfast. Thinking soft boiled eggs, whole grain toast, coffee and juice. Biscuits if hubs prefers. So easy to make. So maybe I've just decided. Being decent eating, but truthfully not as good as it seems. Lately if it goes past me, it ends up in my mouth. Gym on Saturday, but writing new gym schedule for after Chrimbo. See, I'm hoping now that Katie left, oh yeah, we're down one person now, that I maybe can get the 8 to 4:30 schedule. This would help in two ways. I can hit the gym after work and still get home close to the time I do now, or I would get out early enough if I wanted to get a second job. It's a thought I've had, but my current hours are falling short of what I need to start a second job. Plus being the one in closing shift, I do not leave at 6 on the dot. More times than not I'm out of there, quarter past or half past 6. This can hurt if I need to be somewhere by 7. We shall see what happens. Unemployment will start soon I hope for hubs so that will ease things a bit.
     Back to my original start, yay no work AND Christmas. Will spend Thursday with in laws, then home for a night of cuddles and the Christmas Doctor Who special. Yes the geek comes out.  Lmao today was good albeit busy. I got a really funky hoodie from my managers. It says " You can take the girl out of NY but you can't take the NY out of the girl". True words.
     Had a giggle with a co- worker today. A ex spouse called yesterday to report the death of her ex because she was helping out the current spouse who didn't speak English well. So my work friend got her on the phone and then he said that must be a bit awkward. Husband, spouse and ex. I was saying, maybe they all get along. Then my evil sarcastic side comes out, I say maybe he offed himself, with the spouse screaming in one ear while the ex screams in the other, he figured death was better. Oh so horrible I know and I did say may he RIP. But I know somewhere I got a check next to my name. Lol seemed like they both cared and then we started talking on how we would like to be remembered. I'd like people to remember me fondly. When overseas, my friend was relaying a memory of a relative. You could see from the misty look his eyes had and the half smile, he was reliving a lovely person and great memories. I really would like to think someday, someone would have that same look while remembering me. I have some I will remember that way for sure.
     Seems we have one of those Mary tangent, all over the place blogs. Of course, there's no work tomorrow :-) ah the magick of Yule/Christmas .   I found some pannetone wrappers to bake these gorgeous Italian Christmas breads. They have raisins, orange peel, stand tall. I have a recipe I want to try. I think I'm going to. Use a select few as guinea pigs. BWAHAHA to whom will they go??? We will see. Cookies are being made as well - yes gym on Saturday.
    Well again I end the musings and wish you all a good night or good morning. Ciao For Now
   

I hate customs - lol

I swear I got so angry this morning. I know I should let it go, and everyone but me is being amazingly cool, but well, I'm sorry. I specifically asked if customs charges would apply. I was told no if the amount us under $100.00. Believe me it was. Today I hear there was a customs charge. BUGGER!! I listened and looked to try and find things I thought would work. I'm embarrassed. I will make it up when I'm not so skint. Which I'm hoping will be soon.
     Tonight was kababs, yes I said kababs. I give in, and now call them kababs and not kabobs. The new restaurants call them that. He was right....AGAIN! Grrrrr. Lmao
So happy not having to cook. We have been so busy, I think I went to the toilet once today. Seriously, the questions these people are asking. Hey tell me about the new vacation policy, oh you mean the one we got the emails about in JULY!! Ugh! But it does make the day go fast, I'd rather be busy. That's all I'm in for tonight peeps. Still in a positive mood, just what's going on with the police being attacked, it makes me sad. But I've got to believe, the good will win.
Sweet dreams or good morning peeps, until next time, ciao for now.

Well That Was Really Good.

     Happy Winter Everyone!! From this point on the days will get longer, which always made me smile as it seems we get most of our snow after the new year. I have good feelings for the new year, it's been so fucking long since I felt truly positive. Funny thing is, I'm not sure why, but it's a great change.   I think it's because I had a nice chat with hubs tonight, we discussed the future and what possible outcomes we may have. He's talked about us getting an apartment and then a duplex condo, or at least two bedrooms and a den. As you all know, I'm not fond of my current home and this thought of a new place with granite countertops and a soaking tub appeals greatly. Then of course, we spoke about moving back to NY if need be. I would love that, but I know hubs would not be thrilled. He knows he needs to find a job soon. He looks every day, and only recently has started getting results. An interview last week, that went well enough but they are not making any decisions until after the new year. He also got two call backs, both from recruiters who had more questions for him, as they both had jobs they are trying to get lined up for him. So fingers and toes crossed. He said he will call the mortgage company to see if we can skip a month for January. My friend at work did this and we have auto pay, so we've not missed a payment in 10 years. This does not count the fiasco with the small second loan, but those close to me know that hell. Oy vey. So hopefully there is light at the end of this tunnel. 

     I've decided I need new earbuds. So as soon as the account goes up, a few months from now, I will get them. How random am I? Hehe Hey, I know I can be a brat, but I know when I can shop and when I can't. Things will come, just need to work a bit more at it, and I'm fine with that.  One thing I will work harder on is me, 2015 changes started late this year. Eye opening situations that made me realize I must change certain things in my life. Perhaps this was solidified tonight, new stirrings going on, that will produce new fruit so to speak. Bit exciting, bit scary as hell. That's how you know you're alive though, get that adrenaline pumping. Right?  

      Well I'm going to get myself settled in, tea is steeping and will be gratefully consumed. I've sent a request speaking of tea. But that's a private matter, was just a thought that escaped me. :-D God I love the stuff. Lmao. Until next blog peeps. Ciao for now.

Merry Solstice and other stuff

     I am sitting here in my robe, just having had my cleaning bath for my ritual tonight. I will be using my favorite incense tonight. It's the Amethyst from the jeweled collection by Shoyeido. It's japanese and very delicate compared to most incensed that I find rather overpowering at times. Especially indoors. I like that it's all incense too, no stick. I have a pretty holder for this as well. It's called balance and it's divine. Lol it's as much a part of tonight as my candle, my pine tree little limb, me. My names of those I will remember, present and past along with hopes of what's to come.  Along with this, one might also mention things they want to change and drop about themselves.  Believe me. I have several of those. :-D. I just wanted to pop in and say hello. Not much went on this weekend on a personal level. Good.  Just trudging along. No drama is a good thing.
     My friends I love you. Just in case I haven't said it a hundred times lmao. Ciao for now.

I Heard The News Today Oh Boy

     My heart is saddened tonight. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of two innocent police officers, on overtime no less. Just sitting in their car and some idiot walks up and pops them both in the head. The killer put it on his twitter and Facebook. Saying that tonight he was giving some pigs their wings. He then ran to the train station and killed himself.  What the hell is happening?  You have people like, Al Sharpton bringing race relations back to the 60's, the president basically saying he agrees by letting that hate monger through the White House doors, professional basketball players wearing tee shirts supporting a person who was a thief. Look there are good cops, there are bad cops, but all hell is happening. The mayor of NY is horrible, in the short time he's been in office he's proven he has no right to be in office. He is now being petitioned not to attend the funerals of these list officers. Good, people finally had enough. This has to end. I am sick and tired of race being an issue. Assholes come in every color. So do thieves, criminals, rapists, child abusers. I'm never going to treat anyone bad just because of the color of their skin.
      On this Eve of Yule, I am adding prayers of tolerance and peace to my Yule working. For the world as it's hurting. I stay positive as I truly feel it will get better.  I will be back tomorrow or Monday as the Wheel of the Year turns, I then look to Christmas. Spending time with my family , wishing dad was with me but happy knowing he's with the neighbors safe and loved. So until next time, ciao for now

2AM I Should Be Asleep

     So, I'm still awake, hubs is still awake, cat is curled up on the bed BUT awake. Seems like the sandman skipped our home tonight. I'm on a sugar rush. I've been so bad this past week and a half, fucking eating everything bad I come across. Now I don't mean I'm not eating veg, or protein, but a cookie here, and a cookie there, not to mention the office dessert party. Too much sugar and I feel it, I dig that though. I know to be good and detox of sorts. Was a time I couldn't read my body so well, I'm sure it said the same things but I was deaf to it back then. I'm more in tune with it now, more than ever. I lost weight on vaca and then lost a tad more but I'm sure I've put a few back on, at least I think so. I haven't been to the gym this past 12 days either. Just running around getting things done here and there.
     I'm really trying to get into the Christmas mood and I'm slowly getting there. I've been a bit of a Debbie Downer, but the office do got me a little more into the season. Yule us this coming Sunday and I have my candle ready and know what my little solitary ritual will be.  I enjoy marking the seasons. I like the changing weather, although it's getting hard to tell theses days.
     I get nostalgic thus time of year, I miss my mother, I find myself looking online at photos of Christmas decorations and get a tingle when I see one that we had. I get a muck that other people, those outside NY had them too. Of course they did, but well, it just makes me happy. There's a lot of good to come, I believe this, and I've found that things do have a way of working out. I think I finally have a handle on thus being frugal thing. I tell you, if this has taught me anything, it's taught me to be a much savvier shopper. This is a good thing. On e hubs starts getting unemployment and better yet a job, when more cash flows and we can catch up, we said we are going to our favorite sushi restaurant and having a good meal. It's not terribly pricey. With a drink each we usually get about an $85.00 bill.  We are not exchanging gifts this year so it will be our getting back to being us treat to each other.
     Speaking of dining out, my friends in England went back to the restaurant they took me too whilst visiting. Wonderful place, warm, friendly owners and great staff. I left a review on Yelp,  and my friend texted me the owner said thank you. I was confused for a moment then he reminded me. Duh!!! I'm thick sometimes lol
      I guess I should try to get some sleep, hubs is nodding off, cats now snoozing, and I will admit, I've kept a few yawns slip out. So yes, I'm going to get horizontal, shut my light and curl up under the covers. Going au natural tonight so I get to feel the warmth of the quilt, and I love that.  I want heated bathroom floors like I was treated to at my friends house. So that's getting put on my would like list, really if you've never had them, go get them. Lol. Well then off I go to the land of Nod. Ciao For Now

Gobsmacked Yet Again

     Today was our office dessert Secret Santa party. I made out pretty well actually. I got everything I asked for on my list and that went over the spending limit by about 10 dollars. I tunes card and lovely scented candle and lottery scratch offs   The itunes card alone was $20.00  limit was supposed to be $15.00, oh and I won $5.00 on the scratch off lottery tickets  lol   No, what got me gobsmacked was a card I got on my desk from the lady that sits next to me. When you sit right next to each other you can't help but hear people talk and she must have heard me talking with the hubs how I need to get food for dinner but have to be careful as we don't have a lot to waste, just needed items KWIM? Well in this card was $50.00!!! She said she hoped it gave me some fun money to have, I put it back into her purse but it ended up back in mine and finally I said okay. She told me that I have helped her so much and always listened to her and was there for her when she found out her dad had cancer, that this was the least she could do. Interestingly enough she is leaving the company next week as she will start a new job closer to her home. I wish her well, I didn't do anything special, I just listened to her and offered her a shoulder, told her how I dealt with my mom having cancer and that it was positive for her dad as they caught it early. I guess its true, you don't realize that sometimes letting someone talk it out with you means a lot to them. It's just something I do. I also have a friend who lets me ship with his UPS number so YAY that helps me and I bake him cookies   LOL barter is awesome  but I really was so surprised.
     It was a nice break, as today I started training one of the payroll guys in HR because the other lady is leaving. I will be learning payroll after the new year which I've wanted to do for some time now.  I really have no clue where this will all end up, but like I said I am gong to keep my head up and smile. Sometimes I just want to shake my head at people but why bother. People are going to to as they want, and as a friend said to me years ago when he went to therapy, you can't change people you can only alter your reaction to them. YES!! Focus on you - My mantra for 2015. Even though I will always be there for anyone that needs me, whether they want me there or not. LMAO
     So stay cool peeps and until next time Ciao For Now

I really do

     I believe. I really do. It will get better. I can't let it get to me. I won't let it get to me. I'm well off compared to some. I have no right to whine. I'm really trying to think positive   Thank you friends for the laughs. I am just having a hard time getting into Christmas this year. But it will get better. Believe.

Yeah! LOL

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

One Of Those Boring Blogs. Lol

     Just finished doing my nails. I'm actually very pleased with the outcome. Look I know 30 dollars every 2 or 3 weeks isn't much but when you have to watch the pennies you cut where you can. So I cut my nails down, they were getting long, and I got all the acrylic off them since these are my nails. So I trimmed, filed and did them up with Christmas glitter. Looks pretty damn good if I say so myself. Lmao.
      You know, it's just a day gone by, but sometimes you look forward to ending one so a new better day can start. We were so busy today, I even stayed late. But I don't mind that, what I do mind is someone who doesn't know me from Adam telling me I'm not doing my job and I'm lazy and pushing it off on others. Well kiss my ample ass in Macys window Jack ass! I called my manager and she ripped him a new one as nicely as she could without getting loud. The entire time talking to him she was giving the phone her middle finger. Lmao. As much as I was glad she defended me, there was a time I was the one defending my reps. It just reminds me I am in need of an overhaul, oh trust me as soon as hubs gets a job, I am going to look. There are bigger and better things out there and I'm going to get me some.  Ah peeps, I'm out. Ciao For Now.