Weight What Want Not!

     So I finished my first week of Weight Watchers. It's interesting that now I am logging into 2 websites to track my food. It does make you very aware of what goes into your mouth.  I am able to reach places I had lost touch with, and now reach again and a tad bit better. Onward I go. I am delving into the land of green smoothies. I have been having an egg or two (depending on my appetite in the am) or a Greek yogurt. Fage being my personal favorite. So thick and creamy. But in reality, aside from my morning caffeine, I'm not always hungry. I have found myself under my calories for the day at almost half. If I figure 1200 a day I have been coming in at about 900. All fine and dandy but I know that if you don't eat enough your body hangs onto your fat. Like old friends that just don't want to leave a comfortable get together. Well I want to get closer to my goal and 1000 calories to 1200 sounds okay. So in order to get nutrients and yes even calories I am going to make smoothies for breakfast. Thank you for staying on my little tangent there, hope you kept your arms and legs inside during the ride. 😀 I have purchased a small but mighty personal blender for this purpose. Wait! Did I tell you all this already? It feels like I did. Well so as not to repeat myself, I did some smoothie shopping. Got some kale, stevia all natural sweetener ( no more equal or Splenda) Stevia is a leaf that just happens to be very sweet. Also some fresh frozen blueberries. Bananas and carrots.  I'll let ya know how it turns out. I'm actually really excited to start. I get weighed in tomorrow so we shall see how my first week went. My weight loss journey can be described in 2 old songs. First is " The Long & Winding Road" by the Beatles. Second is "what A Long Strange Trip It's Been" by The Grateful Dead.
     Well spoke to my friend, the ones whose had a family loss. He is okay and I was relieved. I figured I did enough, I'm sorry. You have to keep going, maybe even laugh. It's okay and he's a smart man. He knows my deal, and bless him, STILL calls me friend. Lol
     It's raining, and I don't even care. I'm thrilled again, as I was telling my dad about my upcoming trip, I mentioned going for my passport. Oh did I ever mention that it arrived!? Yep it did. So of course I now want to get a cute little "purse" with a shoulder strap. To hold my passport and some cash, etc. I've seen them and now I get to buy one. Lmao. I'm so bad hehe
     Speaking of my dad, I finally met his lady friend. She is very nice, very sweet. They do look cute together. I have to admit. I know I tease a lot about the entire situation, but in truth, I'm very happy he has someone to share things with. They go to dinner and next week, hold on to your hats, they are going to a movie. I'm very glad he's getting out.
      Well my peeps, it's almost the witching hour and I've done quite a bit of driving today, is I'm going to bed.  Ciao For Now.

Write On Baby😊😊

     Well got my hair done tonight. My hairdresser is a hoot, we get along very well.  I told her what I want done, she does it and then it looks great for a few days then I get to do it myself and ....not as great. Not terrible but, well fuck I need to use my straightener. I have thick hair and was told tonight, it's extremely soft. It does feel nice but I think it's the added bonus of my Paul Mitchell shampoo. Lol she made my hair a deeper red, with there separate layers, of lighter shades mixed in, looks funky fun. I may go back to blonde as I loved it, but I like the shorter sleeker style. It's kicky and kind of sexy. Let's not forget easy to shampoo and dry. Dear friend, you suggested a haircut, get rid of the rocker hair, and I am grateful for the honesty as I was stuck for so long. I like this look MUCH better. Lol.
     Well yes I went to weight watchers and was not as terrible as I was fearing. Isn't that always the way, you get so nervous then pony up to the bar and well damn, it's not as bad as you thought it would be. I knew I had gained weight, I knew I lost weight and my bathroom scale alternated between 2 weights depending where you stood. Ha! So I can now say, I am almost 3 pounds less than I was last August. Okay, I can work with this. I can be at least 40 to 50 pounds less by the time England trip gets here. Plus I have someone at work I can swap recipes and chat with. Also my friends are so supportive, thank the stars. All this and it hopeful The NY Rangers may win the Stanley Cup this year...ah yes.....deep breath....it's all good right now.
     Two birthdays happening. My friends son, and my friend in NY. The boy is 16, and a very handsome young man. The lady is a beautiful gal, who is so lovable. Happy Birthday to you both!
Headed to NY this weekend to celebrate the lady's birthday, and so looking forward to seeing my friends. Of course I get to see Dad. Always wonderful. Still trying to figure what to get him for Father's Day. He's hard to buy for.  I do t have much to say at the moment but stick by me, I'm sure something will come to mind. Lol
     So before I fall asleep at the computer, I will say ciao for now.

Ah Carbs, You Sneaky Bastards lol

     Been good all week. Today though was a bit of higher than normal carbs, and was it cake? NO Was it muffins? NO Was it bread? NO! It was BANANAS. Sneaky bastards, I had one as a morning snack, then I had one for dessert tonight. Wasn't feeling fantastic this afternoon, so I had Greek yogurt and fresh raspberries for dinner, all was well. I was full and felt better. Hubs decided to fix himself some beef hot dogs, and I like a good wiener now & then (hey hey keep it clean. Lmao), but the thought of it almost made me want to hurl. But I got peckish around 9 so I ate the damn banana. Still came in at just about 1000 calories, under my goal of 1200 , but not too far under as to make my body hold onto the weight. So I'm cool with it.
     I'm loving the onset of summer. NOT for the heat that comes with humidity, but for the fruits and produce I'm starting to see in the stores. I adore berries and peaches, plums, citrus of all types. Watermelon whispers sweet nothings to me and I must answer. I could forgo meats and just eat fruits and veg all summer. But I know I am not schooled in being a proper vegetarian, so I would not get near enough nutrients I need so I will have eggs, and meats too. Then there is the wonder of it being too hot to cook. My mom went through this when I was growing up. I don't really have that issue here as our home has central air, but in NY, as a child and into my teens, the summer meant cooking on the grill outside, or stovetop meals. Mom was clever and if she knew she was going to cook it happened on weekends very early in the morning or late at night. Then she would freeze the food and serve it after it thawed and was heated, yep, on the stovetop. Her meatloaf, well she would slice it, then simmer it in brown gravy. She even had a dessert recipe that was from when she was a girl. She called it ice box cake. I've seen it still with added tweaks that call it eclair cake. But I prefer it in it's original simple form. You basically cook Jello chocolate pudding (on the stovetop hehe) the you take a 9x13 pan and line the bottom with graham crackers. I suppose if you can't find them, you could use digestives or something similar. But the graham crackers taste the best. Then after you line the bottom of the pan with the crackers, you pour the pudding over them, then another layer do graham crackers, then pudding, and so on until done, ending with the graham crackers on top. Put it in the fridge for about 5 hours and the magic happens. The crackers soften and caress the pudding into a cool creamy lovely dessert. Mom would whip up some heavy cream with a tough of sugar and dollop it on the squares she would serve up. Simple and delicious. I would think if you used sugar free or low sugar graham crackers and sugar free jello it could be made as a low calorie dessert. Hmmmm, may look into it. BWAHAHA  I have a voracious sweet tooth, I'm trying so hard to curb it, so far okay, but god damn it it's hard. Eye on the prize right? Ack!!
      Had a wack- a- doodle on the phone this afternoon. She started screaming at me and wouldn't tell me her name or I'd number, nothing. She kept asking me why I needed those? I told her it's for her own security, if I can't verify who she is then I would be giving out information to a person who may or may not be her. It's the Schrödinger's cat of employees. Sheesh, she got so volatile I actually put her on hold and went to my director. He agreed to take the call of course, almost 45 minutes later he came to me and said I owe him while he was laughing. I think a drink was really what he needed. It happens I guess. Over 80,000 employees plus retired and gone ones. I should be grateful it doesn't happen more.
     Well peeps I'm heading to bed as it's just past the witching hour and this witch needs some rest. So I will say yet again, ciao for now.

Well Hello Tuesday Masquerading As Monday

     Well how do peeps. Yes it's the first day back after a long weekend, and all things considered, today was a very decent day.  It went really fast too. I was excited that my Tupperware order came in today. WOW,  that sounds even more lame when seeing that in print. LMAO I mean  I can now microwave eggs for breakfast, part of my plan. 😊
      Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath, and remember all you have. You know I am a frustrated poet/writer. I've been working on a story for my friend's daughter. Kind of a trade off. She is going to draw me a piece of art for me to hang in my NY bedroom, and I was to write her a story. I started it, and got about halfway done. I kind of painted myself into a corner with the tale and it's been harder than completing a Rubick's Cube to get myself unstuck! Fuck me, but I will get that cool twist and finish, just hasn't knocked on my minds door and walked inside yet.  I should get myself a journal of sorts and carry it with me. Oddly enough I do have the app notes on my phone, but it doesn't seem the same as a cool old fashioned bound journal. Pen to paper, old school, the way they used to do it. I envision the likes of Yeats, or Thoreau, sitting and looking out at the surroundings and words coming into mind, then onto paper. Filling this tome, this collection of thoughts copied onto pages, to keep, to cross out and re-write. Yes one day I will wander into a store and purchase a proper journal.
      Expect lies, but be truthful
      Know there is sorrow, but share joy
    Silly little lines like those just often pop I to my mind. So fucking profound, I am. I'm sure one day my red shoe story will be told in front of fireplaces. A modern Aesop she fancied herself, they will say, as they repeat my little tale. Wait, you've not heard it? Oh peeps, gather round and listen to this.
" I had been in a store with friends, feeling a bit of a clunky cog in a otherwise smooth gear. Well we ended up in the shoe department. We were drawn to all the beautiful shoes, heels, wedges, all colors and materials. Then I notice off to the side a funky little pair of red shoes, not really shoes, more of a cross between an oxford and a hi top sneaker ( or trainers if you will). As you can guess, they were nothing to look at, but I felt drawn to them. I asked to see them in my size and yes, I bought them! They were my go to shoe. They were comfortable, they fit me well and they were sturdy on all terrains. Then I said out aloud one day that I wanted to be like my shoes. My friends thought I was crazy, of course yes I am in a way, but not in this. Here was a pair of shoes that I'm sure were overlooked by many people. But given a chance, they turned out to be fantastic. They didn't hurt my feet , they were dependable, and they were actually cute, even though initially you may not have seen it. I said oh to be a little red shoe, and surprise everyone!" End of the tale. I know it's very Ugly Ducklingish, but I never said it was an original thought. LMAO.  See I need to come up with original things
     Why am I so awake at half 12 in the morning. I will pay for this I know. I will have to use my concealer from Yves St. Lourant (sp?). I also have, for under my eyes, a de puffer.  How I wish they made a huge version that I could roll over my body to de puff. Hahaha, yeah if only.  I took off my make up and brushed my teeth. I applied my moisturizer, then took a good look in the mirror. I liked what I saw. I looked okay, shiny, but okay. Actually I looked better than okay, I looked like me!
Ciao for now peeps. :-}

And That Quickly It Over

     Tomorrow is back to the grind and it's been a good weekend. I'm a bit tired so I'm headed to bed, but I will be back tomorrow night. It was a driving, good conversations, good eats kind of weekend. Details and more thoughts to come.  Oooh on the edge of your seats I betcha.  LMAO. So ciao for now peeps

And I Ran ......

      With my director - at work - today!! Lmao. I was coming from one section of the office and he was approaching from the other and then we met up and I said, " come on Jose, let's run" so we sprinted off towards the end of the office. My manager was starring wide eyed. Number one - I was running in the office and number two - Jose was acting silly. Running, me! What the hell came over me. I just blurted it out and he ran, I tend to make him laugh.  I'm sometimes goofy and I guess people get amused. I like that actually, I enjoy making people smile. Lots of youngins at work and they love to talk about the Eighties and Nineties. I bring in candy and often bake on the weekends. I have been known to bring brownies and cookies. So mama Mary comes out. It's comfortable, and like I said they are happy with me. Just want another position where I'm not on the phone all the time. I'm starting an excel class soon offered by our work. It's in one of our systems that list classes and they are free, so why not. I know very basic excel, but I want to learn all of it, spread sheets, power point , etc. it's free, I'm stupid not to take advantage of it.
      Well I've been looking at getting some nice fat girl clothes. I have some decent new blouses but I want some dresses. I have my eye on a few shoes, in bone, black and print. Now shoes aren't cheap, not decent ones anyway. Bigger size clothes can be really expensive. I was turned onto this site called Gwynnie Be.  Basically you pay a yearly fee and you can get outfits from dozens of stores. Now you wear these then return them. If you like them, you can buy them at a discount cost. I was looking at the dresses and tops/bottoms, they have some amazing things. They wash them and get them ready to wear again. So I'm thinking of trying it. There is one place called Igigi, they have stunning outfits but not cheap. $108 is a dress minimum. Using this service I can try them and see the fit and comfort. Game plan on for the long weekend.
     Yes speaking of the long weekend. Here in the US it's Memorial Day. A day of remembrance for those who gave their lives in service of our country. Oh a throwback to the last paragraph. I found a pair of walkers on the Tom's shoes website, kind of espadrilles bottoms with canvas body with a stressed American flag motif. So cool. Want for the 4th of July hehehe. Also want to get a few odds
and ends at a store called Home Goods. They have...um...home goods. Lmao
      Oh sitting here in my bedroom, sitting semi crossed leg on my bed, kitty snoozing near me, hubs is is in the computer room across the hall. I'm burning a Yankee Candle, the scent is beach plum. It is my all time favorite scent of theirs. They have limited supply on their website, but it transports me to Long Island.  The beach, not the busy commercial ones, but the ones you find out in the Hamptons, or Montauk. Cape Cod houses in slate blues with white shutters, very serene. Calm breeze, surf in the back and along the beaches the scent of beach plums in the air. I adore it. They are found in said Cape Cod and Massachusetts coastline also. It just amazes how a scent can calm me, makes me want to feel sand on my toes. 😀 beach plums are more like a blueberry. Similar taste, but the flowers, oh the scent is divine.
      Well one more day, then nothing to do for 3 blistfull days. Gym is one of them for a few hours, but then FREEDOM!! I would love to go see the X men movie, but doubtfull. Will drop in on in-laws at some point, maybe all go grab a crab dinner. Fresh crabs at Tims. Waterside, nice views, hot fresh crabs, cold Peronis. Sounds like a plan. Tim's Rivershore Restaurant and Crabhouse in Dumfries VA. Check it out and be jealous. BWAHAHA
     It's now almost half 9, I'm putting the blog away for now. Some thoughts for the next few, but it's smelling soooooo good in here, I'm going to make a pot of tea for hubs and me, then go read the book I'm into at the moment. Love reading, have about 5 books for my summer reading all set to go. So as always, ciao for now 💋
   

Yahoo For All People

     How do you think of what to blog about? Sometimes you just can't, which is why I'm doing it so infrequently as of late. For this I say sorry, and also thank you for checking in again peeps.
      Well today I felt I had to take a stand on Facebook of all places. You see as a fat girl I've dealt with stares, cruel words, and taunting by strangers. Look, I'm as human as the next person, and on occasion I have laughed at a photo or words that tease overweight people. Like the dog under the fat ladies chair that looks very nervous. Okay that's funny, I can appreciate it and smiled and I will kid about pics saying where did you get my picture? Lol of course theses are often posted by people I know, and no harm meant but it's funny that a post was done today in the opposite way. A chubby girl was holding a sign against thin people. Interesting to see the other died of the issue. To me it was just as bad as saying something against a fat person. See thing is, people are fucking people. Seems that everyone has their "thing"! Who feels fat, who thinks they are not pretty, too short, too tall. Media makes you feel like you will never attain perfection. Of course you won't no one is!! Getting to my point, what upset me were the comments. Some were purposely hurtful. Why, why do people hide behind the internet and shout out such remarks that can make you, in a weak moment, get chocked up ?  I felt I needed to reaffirm, that I am me, this is what I look like, this is who I am and I make no apologies for it.  Don't like me, well I don't care.  It just makes me sad that people still feel the need to tear down to make them feel good.   Fat and fabulous plus sexy as fuck= ME!! Lol
     I'm pleased peeps, I got a really good review at work. They were telling me how happy they ate I work there. My director and manager both said personally and professionally they are glad. It felt good, I won't lie. I often wondered if they were glad I was back or did they regret their choice. So now I know.  I admit though, I hate that I am tethered to a phone. I miss being able to take calls when I got one. I have had times when I had to leave a good conversation with good friends to start work. Hopefully one day soon I won't have to do that.
    I will be back tomorrow, I want to get this blog going again, until tomorrow I of course say, ciao For Now

So, What The Hell Was That? The Weekend Of Course.

     Well Friday was a day from hell. I woke up barely, by that I mean my head was throbbing. I don't mean headache, I'm talking ice pick through the brain, dizzy when I stand up, want to throw something across the room. So I called in, and about 4 hours later, I had hubs drive me to the doctor's.  He gave me a nasal spray that did help. So as the day progressed, I felt a bit better. By Saturday I was better and did some window shopping for backyard furniture. Hubs felt bad so he booked a room for us for the weekend AGAIN! Lol. We we had a lovely day, and I made the most awesome burgers for dinner. Truly, we experienced umami. This is a Japanese word meaning the six flavor, meaning divine. I buy extra lean beef, and often use Worcestershire sauce but didn't have any, so I used tamari instead. Along with garlic powder and minced onions, it added an amazing flavor. I was very pleased. Lmao. Then we had drinks and well the night went well. Until. The dog! Poor little pup was in the room down the hall. His owners may have went out and left the poor little pup all alone in a strange place, he started to whimper, it got louder and louder. Now hubs can't stand any animal in pain, he broke a window many years ago when someone left their dog in a car in the summer on a very hot day. No he was not arrested but the dogs owner was. Hehe. Well anyway, he was very drunk and kept going on about this poor dog, who was obviously upset. I held him tight and he was clinging so hard, he started to actually cry for the poor little dog. I must say, I felt such emotion. Well hubs fell asleep, my hair was wet from him tears. I woke up at half 5 in the morning to the dog barking as his people finally got home. I wanted to beat the shit out of them. Thankfully hubs was out like a light. So we slept in. Got up around 10, fed the hubs. Headache was back so I did some laundry, hand wash of course as we were at the hotel. I went for a walk, then came in to marinate dinner and bake cookies for work.  So as you can see the weekend was BORING for reading about. Work today started oh so fun, as I was not there Friday I could not change my password as we were instructed, so it took 2 hours on hold with tech, so started work at 11 today, but the day went okay. It's been a boring weekend, but I did get in a nice walk, and pup aside a calm enjoyable time, even caught a film. "Saving Mr. Banks". Good movie, check it out.
      So sometimes even boring is welcome. Hope you all had a good weekend peeps. Ciao for now.

Mom I love you!

Mom, you taught me to be independent, that being my own person was important and to speak my thoughts even if I was afraid of not being liked because of them. You taught me that true beauty was how you treated others, but the right lipstick shade could change your entire outlook on life. If you helped someone, you did it out of love and caring, and not what you could get for it. You were beautiful, you loved unconditionally.You taught me how to cook, you loved to share your culinary skills, you taught me the "right" way to iron a shirt. You also bought me my first amaretto sour. LOL I just wish I had more time with you as a married woman. To show you that I had listened to all your words. Happy Mother's Day Mom. I miss you every day, I hear your words in my head so very often, and I will love you until my last breath.

Tidbits

     Well let's see
It was very hot today - no like - too soon
Down a size in panties
Bra is the same. Good don't want the girls getting smaller
Had some pizza for dinner, had a craving. Didn't eat much. Yay for me
Man, it feels good taking a shower the laying on the bed totally starkers with the fan on.
Day went smoothly, but very busy
Quite tired, going to bed
Ciao for now

Back in VA

     As always, I feel wanting when I get back from NY. I just miss it so.  Had good chats with Dad though, took pics of old pics he has. Put them on Facebook in an album I have there. He told me that when he was about 16 he and his friends all went to Coney Island. He asked a girl if she wanted to go for a ride in the tunnel of love. She said sure, but not with YOU! He got all upset he said, no girl had ever turned him down. (Holy shit! Lmfao) he asked why and she said I've heard all about you.  Oh god, dad was a player! I was crying, never heard no from a girl. Crap, dad was the hottie of his group. It makes me laugh, and cringe a bit too. I'm more like dad than I ever knew. Hahaha
      Had fun teasing him after that. Took him for a drive in my new car. He really liked it. It said it's so roomy, and after our trip into New Jersey my friend T said that it suited me and I made a good choice. I agree with her. It's an awesome car. Her name is officially now, Tink! That suites her too, I think. I already have just hit 1000 miles. NY trip was about 746 all on it's own, as we ventured, as I said, into Jersey Saturday night. We had a really nice evening. The food was outstanding, and I fell in live with the mango peach salsa. Had some sweetness and a medium heat that was perfect. Had a soft taco then took the fillings and had it on a plate. No reason to add all the taco shell calories. Then Sunday Dad's neighbor came over. Thankfully he did not have to put his dog to sleep. The pup is responding to the medicine and the vet is hopeful.  Little pagan me is praying to St. Francis to keep the dog healthy and strong. He's a member of the family, those of you will fur babies you love can understand I'm sure.
     So today started my 60 in 6! More if I can. Gym in the am. Today was okay.  Tomorrow will be better. It helped that a co worker told me I looked like I lost weight, and an worker who used to work there, came for a visit and said I looked great.  So I have lost all the weight I gained since I started work there again so I'm happy again. Will keep you posted every now and then as it's not my main focus. It's just my life. BWAHAHA
     I did have a mini panic attack. I had printed out my E ticket for my flight, I had even taken a pic to send my England hosts but I thought I had archived the email it came on.  I did not. So I went through my drawers at my desk in a mad dash but I found it. Whew!!! It is now where I can get to it.
Dumb bunny I know.  Hubs was looking on line for me and showing me all the 3 ounce bottles so I know what to get to put my face lotions and potions in. Lol
     Not much else, few odds and ends but I'll save those. Oh goody, I hear you say to yourselves. Lmao. Well peeps, I will leave you, saying, as always, ciao for now.

New York - early Saturday

     I mean early. It's 2am, and I've been here just over an hour. My numbers were not so great on my up today as I spent 5 hours driving up to NY tonight. The new cars first big trip. She did great. Baby has lots of oomph,  and looks good. Just like her driver. Lol I was making great time then on the last leg of the journey as I was coming off the Verrazano Bridge, the traffic to the Belt Pkwy was backed up all the way to the exit on the bridge. So I was able to get out of it and I took the Brooklyn queens expressway instead. Through Brooklyn and not always top rate areas but I have driven these roads many times. Instinct took me home.
     As I lay here in bed listening to the noises outside my window, I can imagine being transported back in time to younger years. I still hear the traffic on the Grand Central Pkwy.  It's a good 2 miles away but sound travels this time of the morning. It's still a quiet block. I almost think I hear Michael's car go by. A past boyfriend. Who was a friend and still is. His mom was from England and she watched me often. So started my love affair with England. Mike would get home then take Brandy got a walk. He would wait for me to come outside. We would talk and make out and quiely laugh for hours, while Brandy just waited. She was a Dalmatian and a good girl. It was sweet and is a pleasant memory.   Mike and I have  known each other forever it seems. This room, this house, my dad! They all are slightly fading. This house needs an overhaul (hell so do I lmao) but my Dad was saying he cleans, he polishes the furniture and he cleaned the bathroom. I look around and wonder where? But he is 86. So I say nothing as I pick up the sponge and give the sink a scrub. I did the dishes he had there also. I wish I had more time to spend here. To give it all a good scrubbing. As for my dad. He's getting thinner and he seems frail. Not in the sense that he'd break if hugged to hard but in a way I can't explain. But those of you with older parents know what I mean. To the world they think themselves forever 25. Able to do it all still, but when you watch them, it seems even a tea cup
seems  heavy for them. He's got lots of fire left in him but the fireplace is looking tired. I love him dearly, he loves life, always has but again I am sensing something. Just a feeling. Not bad. Just nature.  This I can't explain. It was this way last visit too never was before. I am not sure why I'm getting this vibe. Sorry for the downer but it's almost half 2 now. I love him, he is my Da! Shaking this off now.  Busy weekend. Visit friends in their new home. Partying Cinco De Mayo style. Then a friend's little boys birthday when I get to VA tomorrow. I am not sleepy but I must try.  So have a fantastic Saturday make it a funky one. Ciao for now

A Quickie Before Work.

    Well hello peeps. A rare early blog for me. It's not even 9am yet. I'm in the parking lot at work. Today is May 1st. Beltane. A fire festival for Spring. Still celebrated with the most known tradition if the maypole. Yes a very sexy image and fitting too, as this holiday is about rebirth. Yes and sex is a part if that. It's natural and fun. Lol always on my to do list {blush} I feel recharged today. I wish that for all of you as well
     Just chillin before work starts. In my car listening to Bruno Mars. I think I may have a bit of a crush on him. But methinks I'm going to head inside and get a yogurt and tea before the day formally begins. So I'll be back tonight peeps, so until then. Ciao For Now

Well La De Fuckin Da

     Was a lovely weekend. Very chill, but got things done that I wanted. New things. Like yoga. Oh yes peeps, herself found herself in a room with other ladies, all of us in various stages of roundness. I was not sure what to expect. It was stretches, and loosening ourselves up. Simple stretches that limber you up gently. Moves I wouldn't have thought possible from this short round body. Some were not done right I know, but I've got things to do.
     I started work in August. I was going to the gym like a good girl. I looked and felt great. I was sexy, it showed I felt it. Then work started. Thrilled to be working again. Yet the side effects of working everyday with a schedule smack in the day, left me figuring when to work out. I've made it to the gym, not anywhere near what I should and sat on my ass all day. See my work ethic is a good one. I stay at my desk, answering phones and do it quicker than some, so although I get more calls done, I am quite stationary. Well I got this bracelet that measures my steps. Yes my circuit does not show up but I need to gain leg stamina so I can walk a lot. Now in the last few weeks, I've changed things up a bit. I'm not booking at the 5k a day steps I want, but I am over 1k and keeping steady around 2k. I almost got to 3k one day. I'm getting up and even just to get water from the kitchen, the walking at lunch is giving me more walking in the day. I drive to work, I stay at my desk. All day nothing gets done at home, one would think it would, but I know the depression that being out of work does. Hubs is buried in it, even if it seems okay, I see it. What makes it worse is that he gets paid the same as when working so now I know he's scared. Scared he's been out too long, scared he's older than the others, scared he's washed up. It makes me sad, so I tell him all the positive things I can. They are not lies, he truly is brilliant with computers. Well anyway, nothing gets done, so when I come home at night, it's picking up, it's getting dinner. Weekends when I should be out, it time to clean, to do the things that should be getting done. I'm not making any excuses, well maybe a little, but no more. I'm down to the wire, 6 months, 6 months until a lifelong dream will come true. I can't disappoint those people that have burrowed into my heart. They are planning a party for me, for me! Nobody me!! I'm gobsmacked by that. I can't let them down.  I can't let ME DOWN!
     Time to get serious, I will be damed if I will trip myself up, as I've done so often in the past. I am going to board that plane, have amazing adventures, then come home still feeling like I'm flying from the rush of the week and a half that just had happened.
      Truth peeps, I'm scared, I'm getting nervous, I feel like I'm not living up to what's expected and worse I'm feeling very needy. I feel ugly, not desirable and when push comes to shove I feel I disappoint when I try. I know this will pass, as I get stronger, but for now, I needed to confess my thoughts. It's been awhile but please don't let this turn you off my blog. More fun to come.  Ciao For Now.

Well Here We Are In The Office

Its now about 3:46 in the afternoon and the wave of calm that always happens this time of day is here and it is not doing me any favors boy! I went to sleep at a fairly normal hour, half 11, then I woke up at about 1/4 to 4 and couldn't sleep for almost and hour and a half, so very little sleep fo rme. I feel it too. Yawning evey few minutes, tacky I know. LOL Well my new car has arrived. It was such a thril to look at the odometer and see 45 miles insted of 96K. I will miss my Pony but it was draining me dry in gas. She needed high test premium and gas prices are high again. The gas milege wasn't very high either, ranging about 25 mpg on highways. This now one is at 39/40 highway. I look forward to visiting my dad on half a tank. It's nice to be able to use the bluetooth to speak through the car. I am just learning the bells and whistles it comes with and once I figure it all out, Bruno Mars will be singing his heart out as I drive the roads. (I'm getting a weird fangirl crush on him LMAO hahaha) My biggest heartbreak this weekend came in the form of my friends Mom dying. I have known this woman since 1980 when I met my friend. She was a very lovely lady who used to spoke French with my Uncle when ever they met. She was from Hungary and actually spoke 4 languages. She unfortunatley had a very hard young life as she was jewish and put in the concentration camps as a young girl. She survived and I have to tell you her stories were mezmerizing. They gave you chills! She was friends with Sidney Poiteir (wrong spelling I know)but she is now at rest at least and I now it will take time but my friend knows this too. So here's to life! I'm a very boring gal, I have nothing new going on (other than my car of course but I dont want to be a pest with that) BUT I IS ONE HAPPY BUNNY! lol okay no more, squeal!! lmao I do have a yoga class this weekend at my gym THIS shoud be interesting for certain. It's called lower body Yoga and I want to decrease my lower body without taking anything from my upper. HEHEHE I dont know , when you think of yoga, maybe its just me, but the downward dog position seems futile if thre is not a hot partner behind you,with some spanking, some wine and Maxwell playing on the Ipod. BWAHAHAHA I'm wicked I know, that ain't changing anytme soon, I can promise that! ;-) I tell ya peeps. I am ready to go home, after I drop off my title at the dealership as I forgot it yesterday. I am looking forward to snuggling up on the couch and reading my new book as I drink more than enough tea. Quaint right? Im headed to the gym tomorrow night as I already told hubs I wont be home right after work. Well thre is my boring day peeps. Ciao For Now.

Readers Digest

Friend broke her foot, Dad had a date, Hubs has a slight ear infection. I bought a car, dear friends mother died. Had Easter at the in-laws. Just had a very strong night cap. Sleepy now. Ciao for now peeps🐣🐰

It's Been Awhile I Know

     Well let's see what has been going on in Mary land. Not Maryland, that's a state sillies! Lol life is as we go on day to day, the same basically with little notches of funny. A surprise too this week.      Hubby sent me a lovely orchid, that came in a very vintage looking tea cup & saucer. So pretty and it looks great on my desk. I also got the fall fairy I ordered plus an added surprise of a beautiful necklace as a gift.  I was touched. I also got an early birthday gift for a friends daughter. I am actually thinking about other items I may order. I mean one of a kind cool gifts are the way to go I think. I love when I get a handmade gift. A couple of years ago two of my English friends made theses awesome tea cups for hubs and me. We use them quite often. Hubs really was taken by his, and my creative artist was a young lady who has such talent that is developing and I smile every time I use it. I've had some good laughs with my old girlies. Looking at mine and hers wedding pics, we just laugh over what happened behind the scenes. Just good memories. 😂
       Well on the car front, I am getting more and more frustrated. I just can't find the car I want in the color I want. Looking at other colors now and the selection is not really giving me warm and toasty feelings but I will have a new car, hopefully before I go to England. Hubs is asking for me to wait until he starts working again. Fair enough I suppose.
      I was talking to a co-worker today, and he was sweet. He said I should not worry about social stigmas as I am a one of a kind. He's a really nice guy, and very intelligent. It's nice to know you can have a good conversation. Actually there are a few of them in the same pod, and the conversations that happen would make The Voice pale in comparison. Good group, we had all hung out on our snow team when we had a in room party one night, as the snow came down heavy. Speaking of snow team, another friend from work, will be leaving us tomorrow. Him and his partner are moving out of state. I'm sad that he is leaving but happy for him, and all the new beginnings. I bought a little something for him as a going away. I will miss him terribly.
     Sunday is Easter so we will be headed over to the in-laws. Love them and there may be lamb.  Yummy!!! Lmao today was Holy Thursday and all day today, when someone said Holy Thursday I so wanted to shout out "Batman!"  BWAHAHA.  I'm so sarcastic 😊😎
     Not much of a blog but life is steady decent so I'm not complaining. So until next time, ciao for now.

Just Give Me The Night

     Hello once again peeps. It's Saturday night, just about 11 pm. Hubs is nodding off and I am doing a crossword, but I needed to give my mind a rest from it as it was making me cross eyed. No pun intended. I've had an enjoyable day, went for a lovely drive as the weather was stellar. I went to the gym and did my circuit, on that a side note of frustration. I am wearing my jawbone again, but it doesn't measure anything that doesn't not include walking and the circuit doesn't, so it looks like I sat on my ass all day. I try to reserve that for work. Lol ah well I know it at least and I put it on my fitness pal to keep track of it. I did have some gelato this evening. It was super yummy, but I limit myself to a little even though I could have had more quite easily.
     Going to a brunch tomorrow, and making traditional English scones. I haven.  the recipe from a woman who married a man from England. I found it on Pinterest. Had very high ratings and they looked lovely. Not overly sweet, which I like. I am stopping at the store to pick up strawberry jam and clotted cream, or maybe Devonshire cream. I have put the question to my friend hoping he can explain the difference and suggest which one based on his preference I would imagine.
     Spoke to my friend today who was moving into her new house this very day. I am beyond happy for her. I love when I hear good news from dear friends. I like to know they are happy. I can't wait to visit her. It won't be for a few months as she wants to paint and arrange the home as she wants it. She has quite a decorating flair, and her home will look like a magazine I'm sure. I've seen it in the house she rented and in her apartment also. She's very good, good eye!
     I have to say I wrote a blog yesterday that I erased. It was a bit maudlin and I wrote it in frustration as I had no one to speak with. Just a bad night. As what usually happens, with the coming of the sun, it was better. I try to keep calm, for my health and my sanity, but on occasion, it's gets a bit much. The worst is hearing the words said that sting me, knowing they are not meant I try to let it go. Hell, most of the time, it's not even remembered. But today has been lovely, I'm feeling good, in a great mood. I was in such a good mood that I didn't even bug friends on Facebook although I know they were on. I am not the sun and their lives do not circle around me. So how selfish of me to act that way. I'm looking forward to tomorrow as brunch will be fun, the day is supposed to be as beautiful as today was. A friend at work gave me daffodils and I am planning to plant them around the lamppost in my front yard. They should look pretty there. So that is on the list for tomorrow as well.
     The tea cup is now empty and that is my cue. Party animal that I am, I'm heading to bed at half 11. Lmao I will be up early as I need to get an early start. So I will say to you all as I always do, Ciao For Now.

Well Ain't That Just Perfect

     I'm talking about the news I got this afternoon at work. Now my credit suffered quite a bit when I was out. I was making about a third of what I was making when I worked. So I have been trying to regroup and get back in Fico's good graces. Well today I get an email saying the credit check that is given prior to working was not done for me, and 4 other people. I am a little freaked out. What if I don't pass? What happens? Will I be let go? I can't be, I need to work. I wasn't in yesterday and today I was on the verge of barfing more than once. I just started to feel better than I saw this. Not happy at all! Oh well no use worrying about it. My bills are all paid, car is paid off , that should help. Fuck fuck fuck. 😄😂
     I'm just still tired. Headed to the gym after work tomorrow. Going to get in early at work and do a few things. Concentrating on day by day. And the time will go. I'm going to worry about what effects me, help those I love if I can, and keep my eye on what I want. We shall see.  Signing off peeps, not in the blogging frame of mind. Sorry. Until next time, ciao for now. 💗😎

Days Of Future Passed

     Ever feel like you are somehow being tested? That's my last few days I tell you. My memory has been strong lately and I find myself longing for adventures that occurred and even more so the urge for new memories. Not happening I know but one can hope that those involved think back occasionally and long for them again.
     I plan on making some awesome memories later this year. I will have lots of pics to share so I will do thus on my laptop so I can share them. 😀
    I must share, my friend over in England had my peeing I was laughing so hard. I had mentioned my perfect length slacks, well he teased me and called them shorts, I said they are not shorts! Then he messages - belt? I burst out laughing. He just cracks me up! Thanks for that my friend. Even hubs audibly Lol'd at that one hahaha
     I promised some poetry, and here is a snippet of what I'm working on:
She awoke from Winters slumbers
Ready for new adventures
Her body ripe and wanting
Ready to feel her destiny once more
She had prepared all through the cold and darkness
Knowing that the time would come once again.......
That's the start of it, more tomorrow or maybe I'll just for Sunday and post the whole damn thing. 😌
    Another weeks close is upon us and I'm happy. It went rather quickly but I find myself sad as the lady who is leaving work thinks she may make tomorrow her last day instead on next Friday. Must stop and get flowers on the way to work. I am running on a high energy but I feel it stabilizing. I am not writing long blogs peeps as nothing is going on. So I will say night night. I really want some long chats with friends this weekend, hope it can happen. 😳
Ciao for now