I Don't Believe It!

     I am going through friggin' carb withdrawls (AGAIN!!!)  I did this last year and here they are and I just realized. I have been in the oddest of moods since yesterday and it makes sense. I know this will pass and thats the only thing I am centering on right now. I tell you honestly I don't like it but the only way to stop it is to keep at it or have carbs and I am NOT having carbs! Not now anyway, maybe in a month or so and very few even then of the "good carbs!"  
     When I started this blog almost a year ago I had illusions and delusions that by now I would be farther along then I am now, come the exact date of the year anniversary which is July 5th I will be a solid 50 pounds at least and I plan to have lost the 9 I gained back so that total wil be 54.5pounds gone.  Not too shabby but I would have been happier with at least 20 or 30 pounds more added to that. I didn't really excersise in the beginning and had I done that the total would have been highher I'm sure and of course my faltering has not helped me but I trudge on.  As Dedo states "There will be no white flag above my door" :-D   After speaking with Jo-Ann last night I realize my struggles are hard yet I am not looking to lose over 250 pounds but I am looking to lose over 100 and I must do this on my own.  I don't want surgery, the only surgery I will want is to tighten and firm me up. Which oddly enough my doc said that since I haven't yo-yo'd large amounts my skin should be pretty good in that area as long as I  excersise. Also of course I want boobs!! That may sound silly to you all but I want the boobs!!! I used to have my over full C almost a D cup. I will get them I will!! lol
     I don't know if it's the carbs or the pull of the Earth getting ready for the Summer Solstice but I have been so freakin' needy and want re-assurance in all aspects of my life lately.  I know that those around me are not there as my personal nursemaids or staff. They are family and friends. As of late I feel like I've been putting too much on them and I am sorry for that. I think I'm afraid of becoming something not that pleasant to be around as I lose weight, and I want those who know me and love me just say that I'm still me but in a smaller package :-D   How funny, that by fearing you will become something unpleasant you actually run the risk of becoming the very thing you fear.  I guess what I'm saying is hang around and I promise you will like what you see in the end, mentally and physically. 
    Tomorrows blog will be a lot lighter and more fun, I promise, as I've alrady penned some of it!  Oooh what has she got up her sleeves you ask?  Ain't tellin' (until nxt blog that is! BWAHAHAHA) So peeps, Ciao For Now