The Vampire Said - "Can You Please Stop This Coffin'"

     HAHAHAHAAHA   Coughing - get it?  Ugh I swear my cough will not leave my chest. Its giving me headaches when I have coughing fits.
Well today has not really changed but my mood is lighter. Its nice to know that some of the complaints I have are echoed by others here at work. bad enough we have a break board but we are supposed to wait until someone comes back from break if we have to go to wee. SERIOUSLY?! This has bugged me from day one. I am not 4 years old going to the potty. I am in an office yet now everyone needs to see when I need to use a toilet?  Mostly us gals have the biggest issue. Women should never hold it, it can cause issues.  UGH I am looking for a new job, if something looks good I will use vacation time to interview.  Hubs yesterday got the same song and dance as I mentioned. Its very disheartening when the first guy really likes you, then this other guy walks in and is fixated on one application and is upset that you don't know it. There were other aspects that hubs excelled at but all this one guy cared about was this one server application. Not because he is my hubs, but he can learn most anything with computers in a day, he's worked on servers, he knows how they work, one program would not slow him down. He would run rings around others at that place. I hope this is not going to prevent him from getting this.  He is not sure now.
     I went on Facebook tonight as I'm trying to limit my social media, few cool things, one friend posted a video of this man playing amazing guitar, and he had only one arm. Amazing! Also, my friends daughter got some new ink, very nice butterfly. My other friend put up a few pics of his ink, which is fabulous I must add, and put a pic of what he wants to get and it's really fine, but  I must ask him about it. The placement confuses me as I thought he already had done ink on where it looks like it would go. Personally I'm looking forward to getting ink later this year, but as soon as hubs does get a job, sometime in the summer I'm getting something done behind my ear to my neck towards the back. Delicate, flowers or feathers. I found an artist I want. They are in Brooklyn. I may venture into the city one day though. Speaking of....
     2 more sleeps and Im in NYC, my mood will instantly change and this is a very good thing. Even the sun has decided to come out for me to play on Saturday.  My Dad finally saw his ladyfriend in church on Sunday, did I say this already? anyway,  she kissed him and hugged him but he said her speech was not anything more than mumbles. Her daughter drove and I told my Dad I assume thats why he hadn't heard when he called her to make sure all was okay.  She had an MRI not to long back and now the speech issue, I think that she had a stroke. I'm not certain, but that would be my guess. Poor Dad, he doesn't drive so he said he may walk over there to visit her. Poor lady, she is very nice, hopefully she will get better.
I feel bad for Dad too, he loves going out with DA LADIES, the first one died, now this one had a stroke, 3's the charm maybe.
ah well , it was doctor this morning but tomorrow is 8am start. So until next time , Ciao For Now

Feelings for today

Call me if you want me, social media can suck it, emails are rare. Im tired of explaining things to employees over and over and then have them yell at me. I am not a whipping post, I am not a doormat for them or anyone. I want to go into my car and drive until I run out of gas and then start over there.   Im in a fucking pissed off mood. I love my friends but they are not available at this time. Plus I am not good company right now.  Hubs got the usual we will call you in a few days from his interview this morning. Sucks.  Today needs to end soon. Here's to tomorrow.

Chocolate Bunnies, Colored Eggs & A Cast

     So another holiday under out belts. Really not much of one for me, but my families on both sides celebrate Easter.  Its always nice seeing family (well usually LOL) Ive heard tales from everyone I know about love/hate relationships that we have all had through our lives.  So my niece and nephew must have been eating their veg. We walk in and my 13 year old niece is now taller than my sister in law ( not hard to do) ,and my nephew is just about as tall as my bro in law so thats makes him about 5'7 as bro is 5'8". So my nephew who was always the shortest has now equaled out with his friends.
     Speaking of my nephew. We get there and he walks out with this full cast on his arm. WTF?? Seems he got beaten up. He had gotten into a fight with a kid on his street, (he's 16 - going to happen) so he walks away from the kid after the word exchange then the kids younger brother (by a year and a half) comes and starts yelling at my nephew. let me interject as kids these days immediately start filming everything and this is what happened, its all on video,  So anyway the kid throws a punch at my nephew and my nephew puts him in to a head lock and they are on the ground. So then out of the blue the original kid comes at my nephew and does a jump and lands on my nephews face and upper body. His FACE!!  Long story short, he ended up with a broken nose, eye shut swollen, and a broken wrist. because of this he had immediate surgery and now he has a titanium rod in his wrist. My hubs was ready to go at the kids dad and I was like , back off, this is your nephew not your son and you need to let HIS dad handle it. They filed a police report and are deciding if they will sue. Um  yeah, he had surgery!! I would be sueing. Apparently the father has 3 boys and they are all very neanderthal(ish). The kid has had altercations before but since he is under age they do nothing but put it on his JV record. Ah they grow up so fast.....
     Im hoping hubs gets some good news this week, cross fingers and toes please. Things seem promising, but they have before too.  So im just hoping this is it!
     Just wanted to say hi, Saturday was quiet, watched Into The Woods, did laundry and read. Chill indeed.
     Oh, Spoke to myDad and his lady friend was at church on Easter.  She gave him a big kiss but he said it was like she was a bit out of it. Damn shame.

 So hope you all have a fab week. Until next time - Ciao For Now

Tomorrow Is Friday - Whoot 😎

I swear I have never been happier for a week to end. Work has literally drained all my energy. I'm sitting here thinking, oh I should write this down, or yes, they'd like to hear about this. And I look at my screen and pretty much say F it! I think possibly there are too many thoughts for me to put one subject down. I'm not complicated but some might say I am, I'm not selfish although I do use the word "I" quite often. I use that word "I" mainly because here in VA, I don't have many "we" times. So this afternoon, I decided to try and change that.  I went to lunch this afternoon, didn't eat, not hungry. I did finally have an orange. Lol there was a woman there who I know goes to NY often as she also has family there. Upstate NY though.  Well today we started talking and we started about Manhattan. We are age comparable, she's about 4 years older, but she is really funny. It's a NYC girl thing. BWAHAHA well we chatted for about 1/2 hour and we gave now planned a bar weekend. There are several very cool old haunt bars, speakeasy type, and rooftop places. I mentioned my sis and I were thinking of hitting up done this summer. She is so in to join. I know she and dues will get along as thus lady is like us. Similar experiences, so I told her I'd let her know when we go. Maybe we can get a city room and split the costs. How cool to hang out in the city and not go home. Love it! Can't wait.
One weekend count down until I do see Sis and friends next Saturday. Going to be nice. Spending the day with Sis then meeting up with the rest later that night.
     So nothing else, except a person I know put, on his Facebook page, put Holy Thursday! So I left a comment - Batman?       I thought it was funny. Hehehe. Yes it's Holy Week for Catholics. Tomorrow is Good Friday. I think every Friday is good :-)
     Ciao for now peeps.

Wow France - You Rock!!

     You are reading my blog big time this week. You have the 2nd top spot, right under US , well done  HAHAHA  Actually thank you , and a huge thank you to all who read my silly little blog.
     Well at work, its been busy as all get out today and still having issues with that new system I mentioned a few blogs back. Its crazy, its not working as it should and making more issues than one can think. I feel a bit better knowing that its not just me feeling stupid with this as even my poor manager is having trouble getting answers. She is awesome (despite my grips sometimes) and listening to managers calling in I am so glad that I have one that knows here job (as well as other's jobs)  Makes the day interesting I suppose.
     Well it seem that hubs is not getting Unemployment fro some reason, he is waiting for a letter to see what the issue is but so far nothing, he has emailed and phoned to no avail. He is sending out applications every day and I see his inner light (so to speak) get dimmer each day. Mine is too but I'm trying to be upbeat for him, as well as for me. I think positive, -  I have a roof over my head (for now) , and even though its uncomfortable I have a bed to sleep on, I have the love of family and friends so yes I have my riches ....but all that aside, I's still scared. I want to move back to NY, hubs is not a fan, he knows it may come to this but he is fighting tooth and nail against it.
     I went to a seminar to become a phlebotomist, oh yeah, I didnt mention. I met with the director of the school, I was thinking, hey its  a 6 month course, with assistance for tuition, I can do this, It would be classes every night on weekdays but hy for more money , its not very much to ask. Well today I get an email. Just one of those random ones that sees I applied at a medical school, and it lists the pay rate for the job I'm thinking of training for.  They make less than I do!!! Looked at all the lists and the range is showing the equivalent of what I make as the HIGHER end of the pay. WHAT???!!! I make squat, how the hell can they make more? I think I need to look at the schools offerings again. I wasnt going to say anything, wanted it to be a surprise but oh well. I looked once - so I will look again. I just need to do a bit more homework first.  I am not afraid of hard work and working for what I have. I just to be payed a fair wage. of course I would never leave the job I have now but one day  I will move on to bigger and better. I KNOW IT!!!!

Let the Day Begin

     First call of the day tends to set the day, for me anyway. I'm doomed LMAO   It's not even quarter to 9 yet and the day is in full force. They changed our company holiday schedule, we normally get 9 fixed days off, (Christmas, Thanksgiving day, etc.) but this year they made it 7 with 2 floating days that we can take anytime we like. I already took the day after Thanksgiving off so I can still have a nice long weekend. Thinking of taking off my birthday, which all kidding aside, is an actual holiday. Its Columbus Day here in the states.  I used to always have the day off in school. My mom loved it as she could have my birthday party on the actual day, instead of having to wait for the weekend. The kids i my class also loved it as they would come to my party and either the day before or day after I wold bring in the shirtbox full of cupcakes and milk for everyone. My Mom never did it small. She wold make up individual candy gifts for each child i my class. She would place a lollipop, standing up,on cellophane paper, then put candy all around it, gather it up and tie it with a bow. neat little sweet packages. But I digress. Where was I? oh yes....Day off using the floating holiday. Its cool that we can pick this day so we can give ourselves a long weekend and not use vacation time. Im hoping to get some long weekends in. My friends already are getting excited about us all going to the San Gennaro feast in little Italy in NYC in September. LOL I cant wait either truth be told. Miss NYC a lot!!
   
   

Interesting weekend

     Worked OT yesterday, spoke to some friends. That always a good thing, never long enough. I do need to expand my social group here, but it's so hard. I'm not in school, my job is not conducive meeting anyone. One girl and I have become quite friendly, she and I tend to work OT the same time, so we've bonded a bit. Yesterday afternoon we were chatting and she said to me that is remind her of her aunt. She is from CA and I said oh, how? She the said, she's so much like you, always smiling, funny, nice to be around and good to talk to. I just kind of starred as I was told recently just be myself, people will want to be around me. Here was a coworker saying just that. I think I gulped a bit. I just need to move back to NY or at least go more often. I miss it so much. I'm not truly happy here and it shows to those who really know me. I suppose from what she said, I hide it well. Or perhaps my inner self is just strong, I really never am upset at work. Spencer had a question last week, (he's new).  I knew he did and I held my finger up to basically say hang on. He was listening to my conversation as I was helping the person on the phone. I was done and turned to him and said what's up? He shook his head and told me he wished he could be that easy flowing and nice on the phone. I've done this type of job in so many ways, it's autopilot . The employee on the phone will never know I think they are a brainless twat, but you guys know they bug me, as I have bitched on here. Lol I told him that's the secret. He's pretty good, as this is his first job out of college.  He'll do well.
     I went to a party out in west VA today, wasn't going to but darn it these 4 walls feel like a jail cell sometimes. Was nice, met. Fellow witch, very nice, going up that way soon. There is a tea parlour they want to take me too.  Me - tea? Okay. Lol  The party was so country, it was like a bad movie in some ways. Gingham print was everywhere, it was cute but I felt like I was in a restaurant. The people, most I have never met, were really nice and ran the age gamut from about 20 to 60. It was a nice change of pace. West VA is very nice despite all the jokes about it, some I myself have said.  VA and West VA is horse country and when you go out this far, its easy to tell. Lots of sprawling land with old fashioned wooden fences. I will go out that way again, it was a great shot of fresh air for the mind. :-D
     Oh I pray peeps, I pray that the Mother puts a job in hubby's path. It will so help. :-) We need this, its getting critical, my ass will be back in NY if nothing changes soon.
      Just chillin tonight and still coughing like mad. So early for me tonight. So ciao for now.

FINALLY - Something Interesting Happened At Work LOL

    Oh man, I got a call today from a manager, he was saying that one of his employees sent nude photos to her office lover. He is concerned as they did this over WORK computers. Big Dummies!!!
Sad thing though is the one employee is showing other employees the pictures he got.  Bad form ole man.  I am a firm believer in TRUST. Thats just not cool to do. I trust a few people with all my being and I would never betray that and am sure they wouldn't betray mine either.  Its a beautiful thing!!   I wish I could see the outcome of this ticket I did.  Couldn't care less about the relationship but, I'm scratching my head that they did this on work equipment. UGH    We have flings her all the time,we've also had marriages. It's cool too. I met my hubs from work too. LOL
    Otherwise today has been decent, as I'm on emails so I get to listen to my music and that makes it much more pleasant.  
OMG - commercial for BMW just now, they said "hey weathermen while you were looking at your crystal balls"...REALLY  doesn't anyone proofread these so perverse folks, as myself, do not almost spit their tea all over the computer keyboard?!
      Okay I have an hour left until hubs comes to get me. I remembered this time HAHAHA  Its been a basic day nothing really crazy, but thats a good thing I suppose. So Until next time peeps, Ciao For Now

Hump Day Indeed

     I swear, its hump day, and I feel like I walked up that hill and I got over that hill -- about an hour before I was to go home. LOL Plus some employees kicked me on the way down. Not really of course but I really question how some of these people got to where they are. Their emails are snarky and sarcastic. I can appreciate sarcasm, I enjoy it and my mouth often says it way too quick for comfort sometimes BUT this is bad sarcasm so it comes across as just assholic. Is that even a word  lol  REALLY!?
     It was such a crazy day, and I cant imagine I am even saying this, but I actually forgot that hubs took me into work this morning. We were talking at lunchtime and he said I'll see you when I come to get you. The lightbulb went on over my head. Really I was planning things I was going to do after work  D'oh!! 2 weeks til NYC, I want it NOW!! (That my peeps is another type of NY whine (wine LOL)
      I rarely do this blog on my laptop so today its called showtime. Some pics of the last 5,6 months, England and Paris and various times with Sis. Boring for those who dont like pics, beautiful memories for me.  Enjoy I hope

So there you go, just a smattering of so many pics, Paris , playing hide & seek behind a candelabra with a dear friend, some Guinness with another dear friend. Halloween at work with our resident Rastaman  LOL  Gor hundreds more  DON'T WORRY not posting all of them  HAHAHAHA well peeps Im out, so until next time Ciao For Now

He Said I Was Pretty and He's 24!!

    Okay, I've been feeling in a funk with this damn cough that's not leaving me, so I promised myself I'd wear make up every day. Nothing evening heavy duty, just the normal day mascara, eyeliner, light shadow and lips. Well Monday my boy toy told me 2x how pretty I am. Then today he is talking and seems he was born in 1990 , so right now he is only 24. Groan. I said I used to go clubbing in Manhattan in the mid to late eighties. I am old. He wrote that I'm not old and I only look like I'm in my late 30's early 40's. Told me I'm pretty. He's 24!  I told him he was sweet, then we laughed about something else. The other guys and some of the chicks also told me that.  Wow all it took was mascara. I think I'm going to look into modeling for big girls of the seasoned variety. I mean I'm not 24, but hey, all they can say is no. I got offers from " photographers" on Tumblr all the time. Most sleezy, but some actually took nice photos. They were not near me though so I declined. I'm also married so I don't have the beauty of taking off for a photo shoot. Use my assets though. I just might. Lol I got big assets. Hahaha
     Other than that, pretty boring day, I got teased by friends. I'm loved, and I love them.  I'm just debating on a bath, some face exfoliation, I'm going to get my pedicure damn it. I've wanted to go the other week but I've saved enough for the 25 dollar loveliness of getting your legs scrubbed and feet massaged then goes painted pretty colors. Saturday maybe. My little sausage toes will be cuties.
So I'm saying good night peeps. Ciao for now.

BUGGER!!!

Bugger, shit, damn, fuck, and repeat this about 20X     Why are people so darn rude on the phones?  So peeps, how is your day going?  LOL   later taters

Made It Through Monday

     Man oh man, I do not know if it's tail end of my cold, or allergies, but about half ten this morning I had to drop an allergy pill. I had the worst sinus headache. Of course dealing with managers who don't want to do their jobs and want you to do it for them doesn't help. The new system we have at work is very proactive for the managers. They actually have to go in themselves instead of having their admins go in for them. This makes many of them angry. Poor babies actually have to work. It's weeding out managers who just float by vs. those who actually work. Lol. I don't mind helping at all, it's just that I can't help all that much since our ability to proxy has somehow been taken away.  Wasn't supposed to happen.  I should be able to go in and proxy any manager to go into their desktop sire and see what they see. Right now though, it's not letting us so we are going in blind so to speak. I was able to help a few of them but several I could not and had to open work tickets for. Makes me feel bad, I mean I'm supposed to be able to help.  Oh well hopefully it gets better sooner than later.
     The days seem to be holding steady in the low 50's degrees. Spring is finally here and I'm thinking it's safe to say, no more snow. Lol but nature is a mother so you never know.
I just know that I'll be in NYC on the 10th of April. Oh happy day. I need it. I'm meeting up with some friends that Saturday night and finally going to that restaurant I've been wanting to go to. It's called Sidecar. It's in Park Slope Brooklyn. I saw it on a TV show called Diners Drive-Ins and Dives. It's a bit hipster, but I like the looks of it. It looked friendly and the food looked great. Reviews are on the plus side, so we will decide for our selfs. The mixologist there makes his own infusions for his drinks and I have come to appreciate this a great deal. My friend, who is not a mixologist by trade, could very well be one. I had several of his creations when I was in England. All lovely,  but one was just incredible. He won first place for it, and I can see why. It's fun watching him create his libations. Such care, all for a drink you might question. But like any well drafted cocktail, the proof is in the taste. I'm hoping this restaurants Negroni holds up. Plus there are a few more on the menu that caught my eye. Good thing there is food as I will be driving. Burp. Lmao
     Not much else, went for a drive yesterday, love it. Had a filling dinner with hubs tonight, off to the gym tomorrow after work. Going to see how crowded they are. I should be there by 5pm. Figure to get in at least an hour, then home. Just have to find my lock :-D
     So I'm ending this boring blog, not much going on. I'm feeling better and better, allergies aside. I'm looking forward to smelling Spring in the air. Don't laugh, there is a smell.  It's that same smell that just makes you want to bury your face in the sheets you just dried on the line in the yard. It's a freshness you can't bottle. This will lead into Summer.  Time for beach and wine trips in NYC. I remember as a youth, playing in the sprinkler, drinking from the hose, and sharing a Popsicle with my friend while sitting on the stoop on the side of the house. Such great memories. Memories are the best, you can play them over and over and enjoy that feeling again. I had a good childhood, lucky me.  One day I'll bore all of you with life in Suburbia in the late 1960's and early 1970's. When my biggest care was did I want to ride my bike to the park or just lay in the yard and get sunburned while my bestie got a tan. Hey when you are 11 this us a big choice. Lol. On that note, I say Ciao For Now.

Jump

My friend did a bungee jump today. Was amazing to watch and looked like so much fun. Started my day very nicely. He looked interesting when he jumped, bit of a swan dive and freestyle. Lol Rest of the day was meh, then okay. I woke up after a really bad night, I had a bloody nose at some point, as when I woke up, there was blood on my pillow. Yuck. Hopefully not tonight.  I also

I so can't wait to get to NYC. I need it, can't explain it but if NYC is in you, you get it. Not in the mood to blog. Probably will at work tomorrow so until then. Ciao For Now.

VERY IMPORTANT TO ME

     Just want to mention that it both amazes me, and pleases me, that after all I've done and said, I can still blush.  I just did here at work, I felt my face get hot. LOL    Blush happens ;-D
     I am freaking giddy today! Seriously mental and I'm loving it!! I have not been this happy feeling in a long long time.  I don't know if its that Spring is tomorrow, or that its going to be a new supermoon and a solar eclipse all in the same day. I mean the energies are off the charts. I am planning a big working for tomorrow, which judging from my last big working will include the best of intentions and fatigue winning over and me snoring by 11PM conked out while my candle burns (in a glass-safety first)  LMFAO   The Goddess knows my thoughts though.
    Seriously mental today though, hoping this means good things are coming, or maybe I'm truly at the point of not giving a flying fuck! Either way Im good with it.
     Okay this is your afternoon report with mental mary  hahahahahaha
CIAO FOR NOW
Bye the way, the corned beef was outstanding if I say so myself. :-D. I was listening to the song Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding. It pulls at me, and when it was done, a tear was running down my check. Chills I tell you. It grabs so hard at me. I'm a jerk I guess. Lol
Okay Ciao again, I'm having a cup of tea and sleep. I'm tired tonight.

Does It Always Have a To End

     I was taught most things will at some point end. But all this time, I still want to know why? I myself have ended things, I have things end for me. I feel sometimes my (occasional) neediness has pushed people to end things with me. I hope not but I hear it happens. lol I hate when good things end. Sometimes ends are nothing but new starts. I like to think of them that way. We can change things and hopefully those we love in our lives stay with us as those changes occur. 

     My mind is all over the place lately, no surprise I know. My money issues are worse than ever. I tell you if I had to make a mortgage payment I would have about 20 dollars left in the bank. Fortunately I will have this weeks pay and next pay on the 3rd of  April in the bank when this happens, still going to have to make some sweet talking calls to make sure some needed things stay but I'm trying to really remain positive. I'm also thinking of calling our works life management group. I want to speak to legal. The whole pension issue that hubs dropped is still eating at me. It's not fair, we did what the paperwork said. Not our fault they sent the wrong forms. I would like to run it past those who know. I'm also freaking a big about taxes. We always have paid taxes, last year though we actually got money back. I'm hoping it's that way this year. Taxes being done tomorrow so fingers crossed. 

     I don't want to be a complainer. I'm a free spirit type of person, I love to laugh, go out and have fun. It just seems like it's been so long. November I believe it was. Lol. Ah well on this mote I'm ending this entry.  Hehe Ciao For Now 

Just hello

I am at work, and I just saw that NYC is supposed to get Snow on Friday. The first day of spring.. Oh mother nature you little minx!  I swear, this weather is crazy.  It was 67 degrees yesterday, and this morning I woke up to 29 degrees here in VA. I feel like my congestion is coming back too, SUCKS!!
Missing people today, wishing I could turn the clock back a couple of years. Happy enough just waxing poetic I suppose  lol  

St. Patrick, Friend Or Foe?

     Well tomorrow is the 17th of March. So many people wearing green, going out drinking Guinness because it seems the thing to do instead of because they like it. Of course this is not true for a lot of people, Guinness is good stuff, I like it, Sis likes it, it's going in my crock pot/ slow cooker so it will cook my corned beef. (More on that in a bit) it's very Irish, as I will also have my traditional shot of Jameson's at the end of the night. Not to salute good ol St. Paddy, but to toast all the people he tried to drive out of Ireland. You see it's told he drove the snakes out of Ireland. There are no snakes there. Snakes represent Pagans. He tried (and did a Good job) to turn the people towards Christianity. So drive out the snakes, get rid of those crazy Goddess loving folk. They worship nature those bad tardis, GET OUT OF THE EMERALD ISLE. For the last 26 years or so, this has turned my live of St. Patricks Day. Oh yes I have no trouble showing pride in my Celtic heritage, but Paddy himself? Not so much. So yes I will have a cheeky Guinness, some corned beef that's my own recipe (so good) I will toast my friends, my family and enjoy all the funny pictures on Facebook. I probably won't wear green. I'm a rebel, go ahead - pinch me. I like it. Lmfao.
     Now as for the corned beef tradition. Never came from Ireland. It's an American thing. Think about it. Corned Beef huge on the 17th. Also in any good Jewish deli. Hold up! Irish and Jewish fusion? No. Back at the turn of the century, in good old NYC down Bowery way, the Irish and Jewish areas were right near each other. So the Jewish folk introduced this fab cut of meat to the Irish pre foodies and it was a match made in heaven. I do mine in a slow cooker. In a bowl. Take 2 cans of Guiness add about a 1/2 to one can of water. The add 1/4 cup brown sugar, pickling spice, allspice, Coleman's dry mustard, mix it all together.  Put chopped carrots, potatoes , and a small head of cabbage ( 1/4rd) in the slow cooker, put the corned beef on top of veg, pour in the mix. Add some extra water to cover if needed. Cook on low for 8 hours.  Yum! Hahaha you just got a recipe. It's good, try it. My Grand Nan's Soda bread rounds out the meal. I make this for hubs once a year. If he's good I will make some homemade corned beef hash :-D.
     So enjoy the day, have some pints, tell some dirty jokes, Ciao For Now.

Humans, yep Complicated

     Talking with a friend tonight and she and I pondered a question that seems to haunt a lot of people.  See she's having troubles with her marriage and well, sometimes things just change. It's frustrating, I imagine it can be downright infuriating as well. Main question is, how can someone make you feel so special, so loved, then months or years down the line, just replace you? Or say they don't love you anymore.  What happened to the special? I think the wisdom of Solomon couldn't get this one right. People are complex, needy, selfish, loving, giving, wanting, get the picture? If we, within ourselves, have so many opposing feelings, how can we be sure about anyone? We toss our hearts in, take the gamble, and hope for the best sometimes. My friend?  She's a great lady, I love her to pieces, she's confused, hurt, but carries on. Her husband is also a really nice guy. Their situation kind of backs my feelings that perhaps we are not meant to stay with one mate forever. Forever is a long time people. No one person is going to be everything you want or possibly need. We are different at different stages in life. Can a person who filled our needs at 20, still do this at 40? Sure, but it's okay if they don't. This is what my friend is trying to figure out. She cares for her husband, but is it enough caring to still live together? I am here for here, I support her. I will never speak badly about her husband, as like I said, he's a nice guy. She though us my concern, she knows I will listen, talk it out with her. I have my sister from another mister to shoot thoughts out to, thanks the stars. We all need someone like that.
     Personally ( hey MY blog LOL) I am not sold on one person for life. It would be nice, it would be easier. Love fucks things up like nothing else can. But it is a good meter of a relationship. I love my hubs or trust me, I would not be dealing with half the shit I am now. I'd be in NY, going out, working, traveling more. (I hope so at least) I tell hubs that I am here because I want to be, not because I have to be. He loves me, and I feel he actually needs me. Doesn't that throw the proverbial monkey wrench in. Right now I feel we are worth the effort, if there comes a time when I look at him and feel differently I will let it be known. Is he perfect in every way for me? Nope, enough though that I'm here. That's what I mean. We are still worth it.  Now I'm also not including those relationships where one obviously just seems to go bat shit crazy. Sometimes a person does a complete 360 degree turnaround and you have to get out, for your own sanity.  I'm also not talking about physical or mentally abusive relationships. That's very different. This is just about 2 people choosing to be together?
     Society puts such a shameful view on divorce also. My friend mentioned she would be embarrassed to get a divorce. Why? Nothing to be embarrassed about. I know many divorced folks and they are all better for it. We renew licenses all the time, I think a marriage contract (and it is a contract) should be able to be renewed like every ten years. Want to stay married, okay renew. No? Then divvy things up and move on. So cut and dry you say. Why not. Better than high emotions and ulcers. Children of course is another consideration. They need love and a secure safe foundation to live and thrive. They also feel tension more than us smart adults think they do. So a "happy" divorce can maybe be better than a non happy marriage.  Truthfully, I do not have children so I can't really make any comments on this at all so I won't.
     I got married later in life, I experimented and played beforehand. Not much I didn't try, funny thing is, the things I didn't do, were what others would say, you've never done that? Never too late to learn or do. Lol. I had my share of one night stands, freaky meet ups at a clubs back room. Even a rather large closet at a NY music producers party one time. But as I got older, I was more picky. If I had sex with someone, I felt love for that person. I was true to that person. I am a romantic despite this early morning blog. I admit, I fell a little in love with my partners and several still and always will hold a very special place in my heart.
     To the original question (scroll up, you'll see it hahaha) I don't think we are made to feel special then replaced. I'm going to say we were (ARE) special. In that time we were with whom we needed to be. It's hard to admit it takes two to tango. Not one single soul us to blame. We are all guilty and we are all innocent. We just have to remember that if we at one time were special or made someone feel special, and we still communicate with them. It's perfectly okay to let them know they were and they gave us sweet memories. I've got some good ones boy. {deliciously evil grin}
     So like I left it with my friend, I told her, she is beautiful, strong, stubborn and worth happiness. She's a wonderful mother, and has raised very smart beautiful children, who for their ages, know the deal. ( they live there too) so love them, love herself, remember how she felt when she and hubs were first together and allow the emotions to go where they will.  Not a perfect answer, or even the right one perhaps. But I don't even know if there is a correct answer, surely not one set one.
Here's to love, as I've said before, that roller coaster that majestic you feel thrills and a little sick to your stomach
Ciao For Now

101.4 So Angry With Myself

        I have no idea where I got this. Today has been terrible. Only bright spot was when my youngest English pal facetimed me. She is growing up so beautifully. Otherwise today has been a day of coughing and I even hurt my back having a coughing fit. My fever peaked at 102.3 today, a fav radio station in NY. Lol.  I also would have benefitted by wearing diapers several times today. So embarrassing.  If my fever is not gone in the morning I'm off to the doctors. I haven't felt this bad in a long time.   So I'm going to try sleeping sitting up, the 45 degrees didn't work too great. Well it worked but the damn coughing kept me up.  So until next time, ciao for now.

Ugh. You have to laugh.

feel like shite, look like shite. Pulled my back whilst having a coughing fit. Fever is at 100.9.  I have no clue where I got this. Hubs been such a good nurse. I've now got mucinex, cough medicine, Vicks capo rub.  I wish I had that Lemsip stuff I had in England, that was strong. But then again, I wasn't this bad. Wrapped up like a burrito in my blanket, I just wanted to say sorry for the freak out lady blog. I spoke to my Sis and bless her, she reminded me I've been through some shit in the past and made it through. I'll get through this too. Love you lady. Xx. So I'm going to go back to bed. Later peeps. Ciao For Now