Am I Becoming THAT GIRL!? Plus Good Stuff Too lol

     Years ago, someone told me it was not fun being my friend. I was too much work. I'm scared that I'm becoming that woman.  In scared that I am turning people off where I used to, for lack of a better phrase, turn them on. Thing is, when I don't have interaction, or things are scrambled to me I need to speak to that person. This is not always able to be done, for whatever reason. Normally it's just my mind anyway. I overthink every fucking thing. I realize this and gods know I try to hold back and not get frantic, but the more silence I get, the more I push. I just don't want to push people away from me, that would kill me SERIOUSLY IT WOULD!!  It's this season, I want to be with everyone, I'm jealous of those I love when I see them with others. I feel so alone right now. I know I have friends who I love dearly and they love me but it's not the same, not being able to give them a hug or have a drink or a meal with them, is it? Maybe I just feel more, I never really learned portion control. Which led to another situation. My ample figure. Lol but that's cool, I'm okay with that. It's taken awhile to come to terms with that and maybe it will happen here too, it has too. But damn hurry up. I'm so delightful that this blocks that from being evident. :-D
     I found more gifties today for the young ladies on my list. My friends daughters and my niece. I'm loving what I got them just hope they like them. Think they will. Hope they will. Ack. LOL Made some cards today. Only making about 6. My special friends only. Boxed cards for the rest, picked them up on Saturday. I have to look through my stamp collection. I want to find my hedgehog stamps for my friends son. He wants one. He told me this today, he wants one more than anything. His words. Can't blame him they do look cute.  He has awesome reptiles. I was able to hold two of I them when I was there. Little Bo. He was so small and cute, then Shy. She is gorgeous, and has some weight on her. She wrapped on my arm and settled but kept wanting to go up in the crook of my neck.   She is so smooth, snakes get a bad rep.
     I'm feeling a bit better tonight but still not 100%. Must get better as I'm so looking forward to NYC next weekend. Needed as I'm being a loon about friends. I'm needy when it comes to friends. Guilty. But give me a gentle sentence please. Although sometimes strict discipline is needed. Ooh daddy. Lol okay I must feel better. I'm getting naughty. I like naughty, speaking of, the adult store I get stuff from is having a cyber Monday sale. Yes folks, stuff your stocking with a vibrator. Hmmm, not in my stocking.......stop that me. I'm a lady. Yes but I can get my freak on, haven't had the chance in a long time. Getting itchy. But I'm good at scratching my own itches. Another blog for another time. So let's see, I've gone from needy, to Christmasy, to deviant. Yep complete night.  Well I'm going to grab some tea. Then I'm off to bed. So ciao for now. X