Worthy Of A Read

     So I found my way to the gym yesterday after all. I couldn't let it go by me. I had to at least go ride the bike or do the treadmill, I ended up with the former. I rode about 35 minutes. I ride at a moderate pace and today I picked the mountain bike terrain option. Lol. No clue if that is any better or worse than the free style one I normally do but as par, at about 20 minutes in I feel the sweat on my head. My head! Body is dry as a bone, and it's just part of my weirdness. I then finished up with ab crunches. I added another 5 lbs to my reps so now I am at 40 on that one.   I have put it to 50 when 30 seemed way to easy, but 50 was doable but tough. I am a weakling really. I mean I'm starting at slug level. After the Chinese food Saturday night I couldn't let it go. I am trying to go every other day at least. I was there for about an hour. Kind of in stealth mode yesterday. Usually I check in on Facebook but I left my phone in the car and seemed dumb to check in when I was actually leaving. Lol. I don't want anyone to think I'm bragging either or even setting myself up for failure.  

     I make no promises, sans one. That is to try my best to accomplish this, what at times, seems a Herculean task! So yea there will be sesame chicken nights, or frozen yogurt afternoons. I can adjust my caloric intake to accomplish this without too much trouble. Bedsides, you work out, you get more calories. Now to me it seems almost defeatist if you use them. I mean shouldn't you just stay at your regular calories and not binge on the extra ones you get? Or is it since you worked out you need the extra calories? Can someone answer that as it confuses me. I can see both of them being correct. 

     I enjoy going to the gym. It's working its way in to the getting my hair done category. It's something I do for me that makes me feel good. Selfish witch that I am lmao I really see no difference in me or my body. As a matter of fact, my diminishing second chin seems purifier today than it did last week. What's up with that? I'm working this so different than last excursions into the gym and think in the long run I will benefit more. 

     Oh of course next Friday I will be meeting my friend at a tearoom for, get this....tea!

Can you imagine? Lol I have never in my life had clotted cream, or Devonshire cream or whatever they hell its called and I want some, on a scone, along with strawberry jam or lemon curd! I want the cucumber sandwich and whatever other goodies will go along with my pot of tea.  It's at 4:30 (divine right?) so it will be a dinner.  Then later if we get hungry, it will be salads late that night. I will be hitting the gym often and staying longer  this week and next as this communion on Saturday is going to offer little in low cal choices. So I will enjoy myself but keep to smaller portions. I am not shooting for thin, like I said I am doing for health. I'm tired of not being able to walk without getting out of breath or my back hurting. I am only 5 ft and my fame is weak from extra  weight. I know this I'm not stupid.  I caught a side view in the mirror recently and stared! I tried to really evaluate myself.  It was less Jabba the Hut looking but my damn tummy. I see ladies who I know weigh more but they don't have that issue. Now if I could only push all that up to my boobs, I'd be a happy bunny.  I am such a work in progress. I have a doctors appointment end of the month to let him know what I'm doing and make sure I have no restrictions as I want to keep building more and more.  

     This is the only place I alm about this really, I don't want it to consume me. I am vey mindfull of that. It's just part of my routine now. I don't want skinny. I want my size 14, I want to ride a roller coaster again, I want to be able to take care of a one the way it should be. Things you all take for granted I have red flags on lots of them. Now some larger folks don't have these issues. Bless them, like I've mentioned everyone is beautifully different. But for me I just have to. Trust me I love food too much not to eat good stuff. My friends are good cooks and I will enjoy what they serve, that's not changing. 

     This also takes my mind off my job situation. Still nothing. I had hoped something was going to happen last week, but no go. The recruiter said they were looking for a more specific person. She disagreed with them, but fine and dandy, they have the final say. She got me all hyped up for it too, and I admit I was quite disappointed to not even be considered. Next one right? I hope so! 

     Well peeps its 2:30 in the morning and I best get to sleep, or try too. So I will say ciao for now