I Try So Hard, So Fucking Hard

     I can't do this anymore, I'm at my wits end. I have no one to talk to, no one can truly understand this living hell. I want to run off somewhere, alone, live my life, but damn this sense of responsibility. It's now just after 2am, he's on his back in the bathroom, fell, grabbed at something so that now everything on the vanity is strewn on the floor around him. Just missing the edge of it that would have slashed his head. I can't lift him at all, he's telling me he's broken, then he's telling me to sit on his face, funny fuckin world we live in. Any other time I'd climb on but this is not one of those times. I'm scared, for him, for me. But like any drunk, he's now just sitting there like nothing happened yet I'm going to be shit at work tomorrow as I'm not going to sleep much tonight, now look I've been drunk, I've tripped over my own two feet, this is not the effects of a fun party, I understand that. This is a cry in the night, and one I'm truly scared I can't answer anymore. For better or for worse right, but god damn when does it get better!?   Oh peeps I am tired of crying in the night, I want to run away
I'm not making sense maybe, forgive me as this is my outlet.  Ciao for now. X