Today was hard PT.2 (the after story)

     Well its been several hours since the last blog. (which I had to correct with all the errors LOL) After I got home from the gym and showered, I felt much better. I was happy I pushed myself and will continue to do so. I of course look adorable in my workout clothes. LMAO  Hell no I look silly but everyone else did as well.
     Tonight had some turmoil that I am not posting the details but I am just so emotionally spent right now. It's ongoing, but tonight it took a very odd turn. Suffice to say there were lots of tears and soothing talk and frustration for several reasons. Its all calm now but I have a lingering sense of uncertainty. I pray the Goddess watch over us.
     I try not to get too personal on here since most of you do not know me and would have no clue as to what I'm talking about. But feelings are universal. I have several friends who it seems have wonderful personalities but always seem to have it together. Never need that shoulder to cry on, not really, not like me. I would gladly listen to any one of my friends and do what I can to help, even if it's just to be there to let them vent it out. Me on the other hand, I keep things to myself to where I feel like I could buckle at any moment and just scream inside a crowded elevator. I can't bring myself to really tell anyone and yet I want them to know. I start to touch on things then back off. I don't know why? I want to hear all about them yet I keep so much bottled up. It's the same old shit story. I'm just spent AGAIN. Something is going to give and I'm just afraid as I see a good possibility but it keeps getting poo-poo'd  I know this makes no sense to most of you, it may make some to others, a small group who can piece things together. Pain comes from all angles, but its so intense when someone you love is in pain and you are helpless. I've never had children but I'm thinking it's like that. It comes from deep in you and , wow, Im really tired all of a sudden. I may end up deleting this and you will never know I wrote it. Maybe, I dont know. Life IS good and worth living, some just need more proof of that.Goodnight peeps. Tomorrow is a new and wonderful day :-D