Just thoughts

I'm not in a good mood tonight. I've had a major headache since around 4:30 this afternoon. It's not my main issue, but I'm irritated. It's like a grain of sand in your shoe. You really can't see it but you feel it, rubbing at your heel. It didn't help that my last phone call today was a very rude woman, her name makes everyone cringe. As soon as I saw it was her, I was ready and I wasn't disappointed. She started right away. She was mad at the benefit carrier, and she started to yell at me. I said to her, "ma'am why are you yelling at me? She said okay okay. I said, I'm tying to help you, it ended with me doing a ticket for her but we are at the point where they want to ban her from the hr help desk. Then I go to Target, I park, come out and a car is next to me And it's about 5" into my spot! Really, selfish prick. At least I get home to relax, watched a movie. I just have to move. It was easier when I wasn't working but at least I'm eating better and yes I did lose 3.6 pounds since my last weigh in. Woohoo! 

     I just have lots of thoughts in my head. I just need to gather my thoughts. I'm good though and will only get better.  I just feel an emptiness in my home. It's just a void that I try to fill, but it doesn't. I am not about to burden friends with an oh woe is me. Because I have so fucking much, but sometimes it's not things we need. It's conversation. It's intersection. It's not being in the same room yet being alone. Oh I will get through it, I should be used to it. I sit and think and then overthink. I'm not stimulated, in more ways than one. Ah it's not as bad as I'm making it sound, it's no ones fault, maybe it's mine, I don't know anymore. So I'm going to sleep, I'm concentrating on things I enjoy and people I have fun with. Places I want to go. I will think of all these things, smile and feel blessed for knowing great people and for what I have. Goodnight peeps, ciao for now