Well I Promised

     I said I would update you about once a month or so. This is the day. I am going to be honest. But first the weekend.
     Hubs and I stayed at a hotel, hubs has gotten into this weird habit. It started when we had issues with our water heater, this past winter. He rather likes staying in the hotel for the weekend. We have several by us that are like actual little apartments, complete with full kitchens so I don't mind. I think staying in the house all day is getting to him.
      I have started doing my cards again. I took a watercolor class as I mentioned in my last blog. So it re-awakened my crafting wants so to speak. Well I was at Michaels craft store looking through the artists section and this woman came over and started talking with me. She was very sweet, we spoke about acrylics vs. oils. I told her I had not used oils but I do know about different mediums and I mentioned that should she decide to go that way she I will have to seal the painting. She had no idea and then said she will go with acrylics.  Lol. It was nice chatting with her.
     Okay onto weight. Well I am spot on in my quest to lose 60 in 6. I have to tell you though, it's fucking hard. I have weak moments I won't lie. I mean I get moments when I would kill for pizza. But it's my own doing. I've been lazy, I can't be. I've been eating healthy, cooking healthy, going to the gym. Measure my food, have basically given up carbs for now, and don't drink dairy anymore. If I do it's almond milk. I also have not had any hard alcohol. I miss rum. Lol I do feel better but it gets frustrating sometimes. I feel I don't loom any different, how the fuck much do I have to lose to feel accomplished in even the smallest way. I want to be fit for my trip, I don't want to be standing in Buckingham Palace and see if the Queen has an extra throne I can sit on as I'm out of breath and tired. FUCK!!  A small part of me doesn't want to embarrass my friend either. I know he would be the first one to say that's just stupid on every level, but it's a feeling. I guess until snickers from teens I walk past stop, it will always be a small part of me that gets nervous. I'm confident in myself. I have a lot to offer. I know, of course non of these people will care, they are lovely. It's totally on my shoulders. God this is so hard. Sometimes I find myself crying, a little angry at myself, for not doing it sooner, it's not like I wasn't planning on traveling. Hell even before that, I'm not stupid, but damn can't I be that way .
      So at least right now I am on the right track. Today was a hard day, I went to target and actually put a box of pop tarts in my cart. Planning on just one then throw the rest away. I ended up putting it back after arguing with myself. Enough of just one, and plus I want to enjoy my trip, I will be eating there and yes drinking! I am allowing this because when I get back it's back on track until I get into a size 14. By no way, thin, but lots thinner than I am now, and hopefully more fit, although I'm sure that will happen. So yeah, I did the right thing. There are going to be days like this again, I know. I'm determined and like everything else, if you want something you have to work towards it.
      Work is not helping, I want to strangle some of the callers sometimes. The stress of thinking it will only be my salary for a little while scares the shit out of me. I try every day to just do what needs to be done. Same as everyone else, nothing special, but like I said it's frustrating sometimes. So to sum up. I'm doing well on the weight. In 2 months I've lost 24.3 pounds. Yay, on the right track. So until next month or so I will now shut up about my weight on here.
       I am going to go give myself a facial and get ready for work tomorrow. As always peeps, ciao for now and thank you.