So Far

    Not bad....lmao.  So it's now almost 5 am, I just can't sleep tonight. Hubs is having a time of it and I think I'm having sympathy insomnia. It's only Saturday, and that's good. Why? It just is, no reason needed.  I think today calls for a glass of ice cold lemonade. I know it's January, cold out, and others are thinking hot chocolate or coffee, nope not me.  I want something super refreshing. None of that fake powder shit either, I'm talking real lemon juice, ooh my mouth just puckered thinking of it. Ha! So as you have seen, I'm all about me.  I did some soul searching about 2015.  It ended better than it started. Dare I tempt fate and shout out I made it through a holiday season without residing in a hospital bed. Fingers crossed as I say that, I am most grateful to the powers that be, this has not occurred. Going to do my fucking damnedest to not have it occur again. Oh and I'm going to say FUCK a lot more in 2016. Fuckin' ay, Fuck off, Fuck yeah and Fuck you!! Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck :-D
      I've decided that in the last few years, I was hurt by things. Not the actual occurrence, but the way it was handled. I have a right to be a little angry about it too. But in the big picture, and I always like to take in the big picture, things went as they should. Lesson learned, I passed - move on to next level.  We all hurt each other at some point, we try not to, but it happens. We are such fragile beings. Oh don't give me that I'm not fragile bullshit. If you have a pulse and a conscience, you are fragile.  The strongest person on this planet, at one point in time is alone in a room and will allow a shadow to cross their minds, a moment of weakness we say. It's allowed and it's our right as humans. Over the course of the last month, I've had more than a few people tell me I'm funny, and one tell me I'm special.   That's another tale, as I think someone may be crushing on me. How the hell do ya like them apples!?  On me!! It's helped put a few things crystal clear to me. Interesting to look through the mirror to the other side. I'll say that for sure.  
     It's so weird. I'm tired and wired at the same time.  I have this energy running through me, I can feel it. It's not for this moment in time, later today perhaps.  The upcoming week it will be needed.  Work is going to be crazy. We had issues with the new timekeeping system. Total SNAFU. Between that and the fact that this Friday is the first payroll off the new year, the calls will be nuts. At least I may get some overtime out of it.  I can use it, it offsets the garnishment. Which will be over in 4 months. It's fine, one more bill I can then say good bye to. It's for my lady hospital visit, last December. I know, how the hell did I not pay it.  Well, when you have your little pay and hubs used to bring home more than double your pay and that one stops then severance runs out and you are now trying to pay all the bills, plus whatever fun house issues pop up all on one little salary, it happens. But now there is another income. Not what it was but it's still another income. I want to zero out bills, get my credit back in good standing. It's still poor but at least it's not very poor anymore so that's the right direction. It's orange now, soon, yellow, then green, eventually blue. Lol color codes, they dumb down everything these days.
       So food, remember how thus all started. It will be lifelong, I'm down with that, I'm down to being a big girl the rest of my life, just want to be a bit less big and feel a lot more healthy.  I am feeling less sluggish, yay, and I'm not giving in to bad choices, BUT,  I will live my life as I need to. Do what I can, for myself. I need to gain strength as I think I'm going to need it towards the middle/end of the year.  I also need to walk better in heels. My friend, he walks better in them than I do.  Sigh....bwahahaha.  Bit of levity thrown in there.  Seriously though, I have to get this ass to the gym again. My back tits are better than my front ones at this point.
     So, it's now half 5 in the morning and I've been rambling about 40 minutes. So now that my brain is fully awake, the it's time to go scrub my face and great the day. So peace out ( I'm so street LOL) and Ciao For Now