Shine On You Crazy Diamond

     Well today I ended my pity party - the roar of the crowd is deafening LOL   Oh peeps, those of you who dont know me, let me tell you I made myself, and pretty much all the people I know, bonkers! I really fell into a funk, I cried, watched sad movies, wrote dumb poetry to my friends asking them to stay with me.  N-U-T-T-E-R!!! Today though I did come to a conclusion that I am worth it. I am not stupid I have a lot to offer and out there is a company that deserves me. I know I have said this a few times but today it really hit home. I was standing in line at the store and this lady and I were chatting and she told me she was out of work for 5 months and finally got a great job. Like everything I do I wanted it yesterday. I need to realize that it's not going to happen overnight. So I am trying to stay away from this pity party if mine.  
     I have been focusing on my weight and eating better and it's working the way I hoped. I called my gym today and set up my appointment with my amazon again. We are going all out and getting out the measuring tape. I hope they have a large tape measure LOL  I have no idea what my numbers will be. I'm kind of like the way the prices for gas (petrol) goes on the signs. Big, bigger, biggest. All premium of course ;-)  I was talking to her on the phone and she was either new or I hadn't come across her there yet. When we spoke I told her that even though I have been there, I still consider my work out level at "slug"  She started to laugh and said sorry but that it was funny. and she asked if she could use that one, I was laughing too and told her sure just give me credit  LOL  So I am going Saturday at 9. She said "see you then, and we'll get your rolling" To which I replied, Oh that's no problem, I have no trouble rolling, I'm built for it!  I think she pee'd she was laughing so hard. LMAO
    It just made me feel better for some reason. I just feel so good at the moment, so I'm hoping that I will actually sleep tonight. I have been up all night for the last 4 nights, which Im sure hasnt helped my outlook.   
     I am actually almost laughing at my rejections, I got one from a placement company and they sent me a rejection notice. I was like WTF? This company looks for work and they wont see me? They did have a questionnaire that one question was if I had a security clearance and I don't, so I'm thinking that's why.   I also made an appointment to get my other bridge done so I can smile pretty like!! LOL Now when I laugh I try to angle myself so people are on my right, where I already have a bridge. 
     I have been telling people that I am boring lately and you know what? That's bull. I am making myself boring. I am still me. That lovely, adorable, funny as hell , sexy beastette of a gal. I am going to PA soon for more ink. I am going to NY in May for a party for a friends daughter, which so many friends will be there. Dancing, music and karaoke, free drinks and food at the VFW hall. So retro so fabulous. I am really looking forward to it. I have allowed myself to slump and calling on friends to pick me up. It's not up to them to do this, it's up to me to be the best friend I can. The one I am.  If I lose the 20 pounds I want by the end of May, for the party, (ambitious I know); I am buying this dress I saw, casual but flowing and I have new sandals I can wear with it. Love the flowing skirt with sandals look. Some jewelry, lots of bangles, all silver of course. Kind of a gypsy look which I always loved. 
     Time for this free spirit to allow herself to be free again. I'm going to visit friends, I'm hoping some friends come to visit me, and then Europe will be here before I know it. Time is going by fast and damned if I'm going to just watch it. I have deep respect for my dear friends and they all have one thing in common. They are doers, they dont just sit back. I admire them greatly for this and need to put a little more of that in my life.  I am going to stop because at this point its about the doing, not talking about it. So I say Ciao For Now and see ya tomorrow