Too Much Pity Time On My Hands

     There was a song in the 80's with that title by a band named Styx, I dug it back then and it makes sense to me right now. This is DAY TEN!!! 10 that I am in the hospital. I look around my room and I smile at the little pink teddy bear my hubs gave me, yes a small child's toy but there were a few nights I held that poppet very tightly. 
     WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY DOES NOT INCLUDE THOSE OF YOU WHO DID CALL, AND KEEP IN TOUCH (SOME EVERY DAY) YOU ALL KEPT ME GOING WITH YOUR JOKES, AND SKYPE AND JUST HEARING YOUR VOICES. SO THANK YOU HUBBY, MELISSA, MATT, MATT'S TRIBE, TRISH AND LESLEY.
     I don't know what it is about me? Do I have a "boy who cried wolf" air about me? or am I just a drama queen that when something like this happens people don't take it seriously? I had (have)a really really really serious infection, I ran 103.8 fevers for 4 days. Had to up the intensity of my antibiotics too, I got nothing but texts from work not one phone call. I know they miss me (I hope so LOL) but texts are so cold. I got not one card either, they are all close to the hospital, would have been nice. Didn't even get flowers from them. Just the obligatory ones my company sends out but nothing personal. Not that they are expected but I guess if it was a reverse situation I would have had blooms and a card sent out their way in a heartbeat. But I will see them Christmas hopefully as they always have us over which is appreciated. There is the issue I think. I guess since I can go overboard I think others will a bit too. Just because I am on facebook as a major diversion to boredom and pain does not mean I am not ill. Most times I was on but not on. 
     I guess I just had a hard slap to let me know I am not that important in the grand scheme of the earth. It hurt. I don't expect 24/7 undivided attention but a call or card would be nice, not like this was an overnight gig. I still don't know when I'm getting out of here. I can tell you I have a PICC line now. They put it into me yesterday afternoon. It goes in your upper arm and around your heart to the big vein that's right above it. I have it because when I leave here I will still be on IV medicine. Pills are not strong enough. I am on morphine for pain and I have no clue what they will be sending me home with for pain. I don't know what I mean.  I read what I wrote and it sounds like I'm a big baby who appreciates nothing yet that's not what I'm trying to say. I love my friends so much and I guess in my mind I see things so NOT reality. I live in Mary world I guess and lately its been very lonely here and I just need a fuckin hug. (poor hubs I hang onto his hand when he has to go at night, I hate watching him go home, then of course I call him 10 minutes later once he's home) I just one needy bitch at the moment and I'm sorry but I can't help it!!
     If this offended anyone I didn't mean to and I love all my friends as much as I ever have but they take my blood pressure every 4 hours here and I need to vent so it doesn't go too high  :-D