Chrsitmastime Is Here

     Well since the world did not end, (Did anyone really think it would?), here I sit. None the worse for wear really. I have my PICC line in, my antibiotics administered 2x a day, and truthfully energy levels at an all time low but I am here. I admit this infection was bad, worse than I thought it would end up being and of course my stubborn system is resilient to most antibiotics so they had to change the "blend" 3x before they came upon this one. So as I assimilate back into normality I find myself so behind in Christmas preparation. I was ahead of the game, I had 96% of my gifts bought and in hand the week after Thanksgiving. It was smooth sailing, and then...DA DA DUM!!!!! just under 2 weeks in hospital pushed it all back. I had apologized to those I felt so bad about not getting their cards and gifts to in time as all had the same response. "Shut up, don't be daft!!" LOL  They are right of course, but years of holiday shows and movies put these images in our heads. Of course everyone putting up pics of their decorations make me a bit jealous in a Martha Stewart kind of way. I want to show my tree and all the neat ornaments and retro balls that I would be hanging on it. I finally can say I am now resolved that this is NOT HAPPENING!! Not this year anyway. So I will send out the prezzies when I can, and those receiving them know that I love them and wish them nothing but all the best. At least I got my dad's cards done, whew!!! That in and of itself is a Christmas miracle.
     Ironically enough, everyone was like oh you will be out for Chrimbo, not realizing that I celebrate the Winter Solstice or Yule if you will. I arrived home that very night actually and as the hubs lay sleeping, and I was enjoying a cup of tea, I looked over at the lamp in the corner of the room. Hubs had bought Christmas lights and strung them around the lamp as a surprise for me. I could have cried, it touched me deeply. This, I realized is the whole thing in reader's digest version. The feeling that I felt looking at those lights, hearing him snore gently, and to be back home was as much a celebration as if I had done a Yule alter to pay homage to the Holly King. I did silently offer prayers of thanks to him and to the old Gods to guide us through the night and to herald the coming of longer days and to when the earth will once again be reborn in the Spring. This too is Christmas, for those who believe, a new birth to bring life back to the world. Nature is my religion, feelings inside guide me. I am so grateful to the ones I love. My family and friends mean so much, and if I dote on the fact that things are not there in time it's just that I want them to have what I got for them. I will see my in-laws on Christmas day and that is fabulous. I will call my dad and have a nice chat. I told him next year he's coming to us for the holidays, he just says "we'll see".  LMAO
      I did miss my office party but what are you going to do? I will be out of work until at least the 1st week of the new year then it's up to the dr.s to see if I can go back to work. They are just scared that if I go back to soon I may relapse. My hubs wants me like the boy in the plastic bubble. He is so afraid of me being near any germs. I told him that to remove all germs is not possible and I mean I have almost 3 weeks worth of antibiotics in me right now, not temping fate at all, but that's a lot of antibiotics, so I should be fine. 
     I had a dream one night in hospital and I had gone to sleep kind of pity parting myself (BIG surprise lol) about not being able to prepare for Christmas. In my dream was both my Mom and my Nona. My mother told me that is okay and all would be fine and not to worry. I remember waking up from that dream with tears on my face. See Mom and Nona were my nucleus in regards to Chrimbo. We would stay up all night cooking, and baking. We would light a bayberry candle that burned in the sink all night. We would drink spiked egg nog and just laugh and yell too but that was all good. 3 generations of women each telling each other what they are not doing right. HAHAHA So much food for a lot of family coming to eat Christmas diner. New Christmas corsages on our coats. It is engraved in my mind and how great that I can relive those time over and over. They are both gone now but I always think of them the most this time of year and its a gift that I open every year with relish!!
     If I keep going I am going to turn into a soppy sausage and start sprouting how I love all my friends so much and want to be with all of them and hug and kiss them and just feel them, flesh & blood in my arms. So before I do that ;-) I am going to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Enjoy yourselves and the love of family and friends and in the spirit of the season I am not signing off with my usual, but I will copy from one of the best Christmas stories ever and channel my inner Tiny Tim and say "God Bless Us All, Everyone"