Life It Changes

     Yes herself has finally realized no matter how much you want to keep things the same things will change. Hopefully they change for the better and if not they at least serve as a learning experience so you do not repeat your offenses.  I will admit there is a bit of me that hates change, I am very constant in what I like, in some cases to the point of being obsessed about it. I do dwell in the past sometimes, and yes I know its not always good, but those memories, well, they make me smile. I feel instantly better and in times like now, when things are a bit hard on me, they give me a small release of tension, a mini vacation from the daily grind if you will. I am not sure I can change this, not sure I ever will want to.
     The secret is not to let it get in the way of evolving each day, as we all should do. I know I am not the same person I was a year ago,  better or worse for it, hard to tell sometimes. LOL  I see small nuances that let me know I have changed,  Very recently I was informed of something that a year ago would have really gotten to me. I got a familiar twinge but let it go. It didn't come easy but it did happen. I let it go with the realization that no matter how I felt (feel) about it,  it was (is) what it was (is). Nothing I can change there, nor do I have the right to even try. I have the right to change me but not anyone else.
      Those I love I would never want to change, I mean I love them for who they are. That's not to say that I don't get upset,as I'm sure I upset therm sometimes. Thing is I can always discuss things with them. I am known to beat a few dead horses but eventually I learn. I know things change and situations change yet please dont hold it against me if sometimes I wish things were like a year ago or even years ago. Its just that I treasure experiences and I always want to continue them but as things around us change, those experiences sometime will only be a memory going forward. That's alright now, Im realizing that patterns change into more comfortable times, closer in many ways. But I never want top get too comfortable as thats when things can fade. I want to have some fun shake ups in future times to come,  to refresh, so to speak my experiences with my friends.
     Its now quarter after 6, I'm getting ready to leave work. This has been a rough start to hopefully a smoother week. Worked straight through the weekend, cooked last night when I got home for the coming week. Hubs did the laundry - bless.  So I will possible come back later,  and until then,  here's to change! May we always experience good change, and find a little extra change in our purses too
:-D  Muah Ciao For Now
     Well it's now almost half 9. Dinner has been consumed, cat has been worshipped to her liking, now just chilling waiting for Castle to come on TV at 10:00.  I'm sitting here and I open a envelope from my dad. I had called him last week to let him know I wasn't coming up due to the opportunity of OT this past weekend. Plain white envelope, I open it. It contains $100.00. The note says  just some walking around money for you. I'm a grown woman, we have some hard times at the moment but this just had me breakdown. Hubs got somber too. I want hug my daddy like I did when I was a little girl, he's still helping me in his way. Still trying to take away my hurts.  I know my hubs is blaming himself and well, there is a bit of truth to it, but I'll not dog him. We are in this together. We will get through it that way. But well I am personally hurting due to thus. Oh not in superficial ways, like oh dear I am using st.Ives body wash instead of Molton Brown, more real ways. Not using charge cards, cash only. Not so much as hurting but really cutting back. I so want to go out to a nice restaurant, hoping we can on Valentines. We stopped trips to Outback, or sushi place. Even the kebab shop. I'm cooking for the week but I love to cook, I'm not crying really, just natural things are now window shopping. I guess the hardest thing tonight was that I cancelled my American Express card. It served me for a few months, caught up the slack so to speak but it has to go. I'll get a new one at another time. I'm not helpless, I'm not weak, I will get through this. God, I've survived a blood clot in my lung, uterine cancer, some weird infection in my leg, so yeah, this is child's play. When I'm flush again, I have some people I am truly going to spoil. I budget really well now, as I've mentioned before,  so this is a very good by product of this penny pinching experience. Those of you who know me, know I plan wisely to do special things for special people. I'm fortunate to know a few. Hehehe.
Ah peeps, I'm with the hubs, Harley-Fang the wonder cat, enjoying some tea, watching my tv in a dry  warm room. Will sleep in a somewhat comfy bed ( we need a new one lol) and go to a job in the morning. At the end of the day, I'm a pretty rich gal in what matters. So again I will say, night night and ciao for now.