Gah! I'm Bloody Tired Of Worrying

        I'm worried every month that I will pay my bills, I'm worried that hubs won't get a job, I'm worried the little blotch on the ceiling in the back of the dining room is the START of a leak that can be patched in the roof, and not the final stages of a cumulative effect that has reached maximum behind the scenes. Now I have my dad to worry about. NY is about to get pounded with a snow storm that will, if goes as expected, be one of the top storms ever since they started tracking theses storms in the 1800's. It's not Finland or Lapland, but NY. Snow is supposed to be pretty and make Central Park look like a fairyland, not cause buses and airports to close.  The suburbs where my dad lives, is inland so no tides to worry about, but electric can go out. He has wonderful neighbors who will watch out for him, I know this. One reason I'm not making him come here to live, but still, fuck, he's MY Dad. He worried about me all my life, now it's my turn. I worry about him, I love him. He could trip without lights, lots of stairs in the house. I'm a worry wort I know, but still, please don't fault me, I love him, he's my Daddy.
      I've been in a slump all weekend, gee could you guess? Lol I know life has issues and I'm trying to change them for the better, but it's hard sometimes. I did rework my resume and will upload it to linked in tomorrow and several agencies I know of. All I'm asking for is even 10K a year more, that would help so much. Doesn't seem like much but yeah it would take away so many financial burdens. Odd thing is, after all my balancing, and robbing Peter to pay Paul, my credit score went up. Lmao beats the hell out of me too. But yay, felt good when I saw that. I tell you, if I could go back in time, I'd tell myself 2 things....stay at that size 16/14 and pay all your bills on time to keep your credit good. It's so important.
     Hubs today has been sweet, trying to get me to laugh, he even went food shopping. He already said he won't be able to get me flowers for Valentines Day.  He sent me a photo of a huge bouquet of roses, saying he wished they were real. He's a good man, yes he should have been looking for work way before he did, but he's sorry about it. I am angry at that, I have a right to be don't I? But I'll get over it, I am mostly, just frustrating as I more than stated in the last blog. But I'm waking up every day, so new things are possible. I gave myself a nice facial this afternoon, as I felt, I've been ignoring my skin. Bad Mary!
    So peeps, herself is still in a bit of a funk, but I already see me coming out of it. I just would love one day of nothing to worry about, not one care in the world. Not soon, so as my sis told me today, put on my big girl panties and deal with it. I dud, they have little double decker buses on them, cute indeed. Lol so hope all is right as rain in your worlds and until next time, ciao for now.