Do You Remember?

     First lets start with hubs and I had a lovely anniversary weekend.  He surprised me, as when I went into work, I found a box that contained 3 dozen gorgeous red roses, they are still here on my desk and smelling divine. We spent the night on Saturday at a lovely resort and had such a nice time. I was up early on Sunday for some reason and hubs was too so we had a sunrise breakfast, we talked quite a bit and it was so nice I didn't want to leave. LOL But today was a work day and we needed to get back to the real world of laundry and cleaning a litter box. LOL I would love to do this kind of thing once a month if we could :-D  
     Today has not been a good one for me.  I need to go to the doctor this week and tell then to fix whatever is wrong. All I can say is that as of yesterday afternoon walking was something I could only dream of. My lower back was and IS killing me. I have no more pain killers, so I took about 1200 mg of Ibuprophan (sp?) this morning just to be able to shower. They need to do something and I have no idea what, but when hubs rubbed my right hip and yes butt (hehe), I felt tingling in both my arms and across my back. WTF?? So I am not as sympathetic today at work as I should be and I feel terrible about that but I feel like little knives are being pushed into me. I was actually crying last night as I went to go to the bathroom to take off my make up and I couldnt stand up straight. Hubs had to hold me like a child, the frustration makes it all the worse.  SUCKS!!
     Speaking of acting like a child, like that segue, was good huh?  LOL  I am not perfect and I do fook up and I have to say if I have one flaw (of several ) its that I tend to over-do, always have, but sometimes I even over do my over do-ness!! Do you remember when you were a child and you were playing a board game; you rolled the dice and sometimes it would hit something on the board, or it might fall of the table and you were allowed a "DO-OVER"?  Why the hell is that not allowed when you grow older? I wish there were a few things I could do over.  I will not dwell on it though, (another thing I do - see I'm learning), I can beat a dead horse so much I should work in a dog food company - ewwwwww LOL
     ANYWAY...haha..... my problem is that I don't always think things all the way through and it can cause issues. I don't mean them but it may inadvertanlty upset others and that just rips my heart into pieces. Fortunately for me, they know I mean no harm but for fooks sake I really need to think more. I am quite a cool person but I have said it before - I can go overboard. I am working on it, I really am!!
     Work is crazy as well and I find myself wanting to reach for things I shouldn't. I was bad enough this weekend as hubs and I had dinner, we also enjoyed a pumpkin cheesecake as desert, it was so creamy good LOL  Enough though, I dont need anymore goodies, not yet anyway, but it's like an alchoholic! It's a crutch of sorts for me. Thats the hardest thing I have had to work on. I'm not stupid, I know what to do, it's just that when you are stressed out you do things. Hear tell tales of people who, when stressed out, actually go TO the gym to work it out of their systems. Interesting concept. LMAO   I am waiting for my new Nike Air Walks to arrive, I'm so excited to get them......
     Ah peeps, I find myself at a crossroads kind of. I can go in any direction I want and each has its own rewards and pitfalls. I choose the one where I need to try the hardest. I want to improve on my faults and work on my body AND my mind. I am writing again, wrote that Mask story and I wrote a few more short poems that I will share over time. Two years ago I felt on top of the world, and now even though I'm not under it, I feel it slipping a little. So I am getting a good grip, going to give myself a much needed kick in the arse, (sorry to those I'm taking that pleasure of doing that away from LOL) and not fall into the stupid traps I lay out for myself. I know it's me, no one has changed so my world of Mary needs to refine her doctrine. Tomorrow I swear I'm talking about low cal food and low carbs, and puppies, and music, and happy things , as I'm sure this blog has worn you out!!! 
     So my friends thank you and I say Ciao For Now