Tomorrow is Hallloween

     Well I was going to get dressed up as Mrs. Claus but I've been fending off the creeping grunge that has many in the office calling out. So I think I'm just going to wear my argyle dress and boots, go as a  customer service rep. Lol plus I'm working overtime 8am to 6 pm. Long day. OMG peeps the natives are getting restless. This guy gets all angry because he can't get in to the website. I reset his password and he is like I need to get this done because I'm leaving tomorrow. I say - well you have until Friday. His reply - I won't have a computer. So I casually say, yes a bit catty tone, that this opened 2 weeks ago. He says I was on vacation. Not that he had about a months notice of when this would happen. I said well it has to be done online by Friday at 11:59pm  or he is bound to what's in there. Tough titties mister. I swear you want to reach through the phone so engines and strangle them, bless. Lol
     I am having a cup go hot apple spice hot cider, sugar free of course. I know boys and girls, I am a wild child. 😀 well you know I am. I just got a really pretty dark emerald green and black lace corset. It's laced in the back and zipper up front.  I tried it on and I need to lies about 15 pounds to have it fit perfectly. I can just get it zipped with the ties very open but breathing is hard to do.  Lmao I want the laced up to be closer and be able to breath. It comes with a g string or eye patch as I call it. It's really so much prettier than the photo of it. I got it on Facebook in a group called fattoo!  I've gotten a few things there. I bought a very nice tunic but it looked so much longer in the photo. I have to find just the right skirt for it. I also need to find a reason to wear the corset. 😜. I like dressing sexy and trust me when I tell you as I lose more weight I will be buying more interesting items. Love fishnets under a skirt or dress. Pretty materials that have a nice feel and just "flow" heels baby I'm getting used to them again. Hehe. Okay I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm a work in progress. Stay tuned.
     There's a video going around Facebook I found interesting. I shows a girl, attractive enough, but nothing that is above average and then they take a photo and it gets photoshopped. The trim her belly (which in not large) enhance her boobs, elongate her neck, make her eyes bigger, lighten her hair, change her skin tone. Then do a side by side. Before and after. It really makes you realize what beauty is. They take a very nice looking woman and "Barbie " her. I don't feel bad after seeing that. Yes gravity has taken hold of the boo age area more than I'd like to say, but I don't have too many wrinkles and I can do my make up well. I'm no model but I do okay and no one thinks I'm the age I am. Even tonight one of the girls told me how old she thought I was and she took almost 20 years off me. Wow!!
     I can't wait to see what costumes show up at work. I've been good as I went shopping and bought grill chicken strips, salad, balsamic dressing. Also yogurt and fruit so I know I won't be eating the pizza and hero sandwiches that will be bought for the group as we barely will have enough time to wee. Well peeps this exciting wild child (hehe) is going to bed. My hot beverage had been consumed and I'm feeling snoozy. So I will say ciao for now 😀

Yes a new post - woo hoo

     It's been a hellish few weeks. Open enrollment and fighting a cold that seems to enjoy lying in wait for an attack. It tries in a few headaches, series of sneezes but so far I am winning. Yay lol
I have been on an emotional roller coaster. It's been mainly good, a few lies creeping in just to keep me in check, but on the whole I am happy. Oh man speaking of happy. Let me tell a tale. I was in a druggist parking lot and thus man in a pick up truck decided to yell out to me. Care to guess his remark. Well I can tell you it included the words fat bitch. Now it's obvious I'm fat, but bitch? I have my moments and I am female if using the canine equivalent, but let's just agree he was just trying to hurt me. It did hurt a bit, but not for the reason you may think. A year or so ago it would have wounded me deep, but it did no more than irk me this time. See, what bugs me is that what you can't see is that I have lost 56 pounds, that's a lot. That's a young child for Christ sake. He does not know this and yes, to look at me I am quite fat. But I am also stronger than I was. Thanks to those who stood by me, encouraged me and believed in me, and helped me realize that I am as sexy, love able and worth as much as anyone! I am and I posted a picture of me on Facebook in a pretty argyle dress that I recently got. OMG it got over 55 likes and so many comments. I really wasn't fishing for them, but reading them had me getting weepy. So many sweet words and comments. From people I wouldn't have expected. I was humbled, so very humbled. It helped me gain even more tenacity, more drive than ever. I want to do myself proud. I want to do this for me of course first and foremost, for my health as I personally believe beauty is not a size. But also for those who love me as I want to be around a long time.
      I am no one to pontificate anything on weight loss. Everyone to themselves and if you are happy and feel good, well then, good! Happy that the word that is probably number two on my favorite word list. Believe of course is number one. I do believe. I have to, as my goal is to lose at least ten pounds a month starting on Nov. 1.
      Ooh the last two days, lol. My dear friends daughter, also my friend, turned 13 on Saturday. Beautiful girl. I face timed with her and then, I went to start my car and it wouldn't start. Really !? Lol oh man it was early morning and I had no choice as I was freezing. I called the hubs and woke him up. Oh joy. He came and got me. I walked to Starbucks to go to the bathroom, and he bought jumper cables. My car finally started and now thinking on it I may have had my lights on the entire time. I didn't think I did but today I thought and yes, I probably did. Oh dumb bunny me. Lol. I got to the gym  and came home to a great dinner. Had rooks though.  I weighed myself as I felt so bloated but when I got on the scale I did not gain anything from 2 days ago. Yay. 😊 I've noticed when I force myself to get on the scale it usually is okay. Lol
     So tomorrow starts the final week of open enrollment. It's also Halloween on Thursday. I'll post pics end of week. Lol she not telling my costume. You will see. I'm going to sign off now as I've been wordy and a bit self absorbed so I say good night peeps. Ciao for now.

A Chill But Great Weekend!

     I'm really sleepy peeps so in a nutshell.  Got to Dads, made good time, had a cuppa with him, bed. Made breakfast next morning, did laundry, showered, met friends for lunch, spilled water all over me, went to get pizza. Then great FaceTime with the lovelies in England, OMG it was outrageous, I LOVED IT!
     Had light breakfast with Dad today, then brunch with some of the girls, great time, nice place. Will post pics tomorrow. 5 hour drive back, had some food. Watched videos , now going to bed.
      So there is the reader's digest version of my weekend. Sorry but my pillow is calling. Which is why no pics tonight! So until tomorrow, Ciao For Now.

Harvest Moon Drive

     Well I am in NY and writing this on my phone as Dad is easing his way into the new millennia with the additional digital channels on his cable service. So no internet at Eds lol
     The harvest moon was shining as I drove up the east coast , it was a very smooth swift trip up. The only hiccup was what looked to be a bad accident that was just a bit before my exit  so I was able to get off one stop before and just went the other way round. It was no biggie. Made it in 4.5 hours including stopping for fuel and to wee.
     I was listening to some new music that I am getting very hooked on. As the miles went on I was playing and replaying a cd I downloaded. I also had a few standby ones, I mean it was a 4 hour + trip. In a great mood. I had put a pic on my Facebook page of a pup that needed to be adopted. She was abused and used as a bait dog for dog fighting. She is fully healed but had a few scars. So sweet looking and my heart went out to her. Long story short - I put her story on my page for my NY peeps but a former co worker I'm friendly with is trying to adopt her. She's been looking for a dog. Fate perhaps was working its wonders and I feel good that I may have had a hand getting this fog a forever home. She's a good person and I think it would be a good fit.
     I also was thinking of all the things my dearest friends have done for me. Opened their homes to me, bought things for me that they thought I would like, treated me out to dinner, spent their money on me!! ME! Lol what did I ever do to deserve these wonderful people in my life? The Goddess had been very good to me by blessing me with these very special people. I live them all. Also I have a dad , who at almost 86, is going strong. Walks everywhere, goes to the city, able to take care if himself and even has a lady friend. That last part I tease him about but I'm glad he had someone to share things. He also had his great neighbors. Yes I am veryucky and very thankful
I was going to write more but it's 2am and I eNt to go to snooze so I will say ciao for now

I Am Scared. I Am Happy.

     I am very happy. I am going to be a full time working individual by December 1!! Yay. I love being at work, I feel productive. I feel needed.
     I am afraid of being stupid and doing things I shouldn't and the more I try not to do these things, I feel I tend to do them.   I feel good and yet I still feel a bit lost. I feel conversations should have kept going, I should have been more concise with my replies. I often wonder if what I say is understood. I just want to be all I can be for those I care about. I know I know, I'm overthinking again. Bad Mary shut the fuck up.
     Ah peeps, I really need this weekend. I need to get away, to reconnect with me. I like the new me. I'm looking good, well I think I am -lol. I feel better than I have in a long time and why yes I like getting looked at as I drive by some cars, lol - I just want it all at one time. Not too much to ask eh? Hehe 😉😜. Ciao for now - a big blog tomorrow when I get to dad's tomorrow - keep an eye out 😀

Much Better Day

Today was so busy at work but it was a good one. Helped my manager by calling employees back to let them know there computer errors were fixed. Not anything big but my manager really appreciates it and that makes me happy. Eating was good, went to the gym tonight. I wore my Up bracelet but it didn't seem to record the majority of my workout, and I see the 15 minutes on the treadmill. I did the circuit minus the leg press as some chick was using it. I'm wondering now if it will track my bike riding too? My friend has one so I have asked him. Waiting to hear what he says. At least I know I went.
     Last night I watched The Heat, it was good and I know there will be a The Heat 2, was set up that way. Was a nice to just chill and watch a movie. I need to get ready for NY. I'm leaving Friday night to spend some time with Dad and friends. Think I'm going to bake my dad an apple pie. I haven't made pie dough in awhile and I have a new recipe I want to try out. I love to bake. I love making pies and scones. I used to make different scones every Sunday for breakfast. I made cinnamon spice with raisins, orange, blueberry, all kinds. But too many scones made too much me. Maybe I'll make a pumpkin pie & brioche too. 🍰🍞
      Okay slow day as far as me. Some interesting stuff coming I think, keep an eye here. So as always I will say, ciao for now.

Just thoughts

I'm not in a good mood tonight. I've had a major headache since around 4:30 this afternoon. It's not my main issue, but I'm irritated. It's like a grain of sand in your shoe. You really can't see it but you feel it, rubbing at your heel. It didn't help that my last phone call today was a very rude woman, her name makes everyone cringe. As soon as I saw it was her, I was ready and I wasn't disappointed. She started right away. She was mad at the benefit carrier, and she started to yell at me. I said to her, "ma'am why are you yelling at me? She said okay okay. I said, I'm tying to help you, it ended with me doing a ticket for her but we are at the point where they want to ban her from the hr help desk. Then I go to Target, I park, come out and a car is next to me And it's about 5" into my spot! Really, selfish prick. At least I get home to relax, watched a movie. I just have to move. It was easier when I wasn't working but at least I'm eating better and yes I did lose 3.6 pounds since my last weigh in. Woohoo! 

     I just have lots of thoughts in my head. I just need to gather my thoughts. I'm good though and will only get better.  I just feel an emptiness in my home. It's just a void that I try to fill, but it doesn't. I am not about to burden friends with an oh woe is me. Because I have so fucking much, but sometimes it's not things we need. It's conversation. It's intersection. It's not being in the same room yet being alone. Oh I will get through it, I should be used to it. I sit and think and then overthink. I'm not stimulated, in more ways than one. Ah it's not as bad as I'm making it sound, it's no ones fault, maybe it's mine, I don't know anymore. So I'm going to sleep, I'm concentrating on things I enjoy and people I have fun with. Places I want to go. I will think of all these things, smile and feel blessed for knowing great people and for what I have. Goodnight peeps, ciao for now 

And So It Starts.....

.......open enrollment that is. The day seemed like a snowball being rolled along a hilltop. It went along smoothly but as it got closer to the edge is slide over and started gaining speed and going faster and growing. Thing is, it's only just starting. It's going to be one fucking huge snowball when it's done. Lol on November 1st herself will start her day at noon, and work up to midnight. Then it over!! Until the following week we get the calls like oh I had no idea it was over. Um, yeah.....NO! Lol
      You want to hear something funny? Yeah so would I. Lol I still have tummy issues and I'm feeling like a slug. I have to get to the gym this week. It's been a few days now and I feel weighted down. I weigh the same I did two weeks ago. I don't like this. I hate to plateau and the worse is that with my Up I see how little in the course of a day I walk. I should be doing about 10k a day at least. I drive to work, to my works parking lot. Into the office where I sit all day? I must go tomorrow and walk, it's not a choice. I am going directly after work. Was going tonight but I got physically sick when I got home. Bad time to get a bug. I can't not go to work. I may cancel my NY trip this weekend though. Go the weekend after. I want to go to visit my moms grave too. She'll be gone 16 years on the 29th of October. I have often gotten ill around Pagan holy days. Big one coming up. Must get better, and moving my sexy big arse will help me. I am going to bed early tonight. If I'm up early enough, well, I'll know more tomorrow. Will let you in on it then.  
      I touched on it, so I'll tell you. Next holiday is Samhain (Sow-en). It's more well known as Halloween. Although I don't celebrate on the 31st of October. Many do, but I use a more celestial way. I celebrate this day when sun enters 15degrees of Saturn. Either way, it's a time when the veil between the worlds is at it's thinnest. That's where dressing as ghosts and ghouls started. Thus way the real ones didn't try to take you with them to the other side. It's a time to honor our loved ones who have past on. I light a candle, to light my path. To communicate actually. Funny thing is I know my mother has moved on, one day I'll explain. But we leave an essence of ourselves that lingers and on this night we connect with it.  Don't I just go all over the place, hello my name is Mary and I love tangents.   I love my pillow too and I'm going to embrace her fully right now. So I will say ciao for now.

Another Year Older, We'll See About The Wiser

     So yes, happy birthday to me. As we celebrate the years we live, we are supposed to gain the wisdom of the ages. I am indeed smarter in many ways, but sometimes I often can relate to the phrase in the song by Don Henley. " The more I know the less I understand" it makes sense to me know.  Things happen and I tend to overthink. I do so well, then for some reason I backtrack. I had a conversation with a friend (briefly) on this. I had had the same conversation with myself earlier that day. I mentally slapped my head, to knock the sense back in.
      I realize people are going to do what they will, nothing I can do or have any right to try and sway. Thing is if they were any different I wouldn't feel the way I do about them. I love my friends just as they are. And I love them even more for staying my friends despite the way I am.
       I have to admit that this past Saturday, although not the day we planned, went well. We got up, showered and went out for breakfast. We went to a place called Cracker Barrel. It's a very cool place as the entire front is a cool old fashioned store, with old time candies and lotions. Plus of course cool toys and gadgets. They already had Christmas stuff up which took me by surprise, it IS October only. But found some cute things for Halloween. The food is pioneer family food. Lots of ham, sausage, bacon sides with eggs, grits and fried apples and don't forget the biscuits and sausage gravy. I mean buttermilk style soft scones not biscuits as in sweets. I ordered a sunrise sampler (2 eggs) with a side of turkey bacon. When they brought it to the table it also included were side orders of these grits, biscuits, fried apples, and a cheesy hash brown casserole side.  I ate one biscuit, there were 2, the eggs, 1 slice of bacon, spoon of apples, half the grits and ashamed to admit it but the whole side of hash browns. They were good. Lol but damn if I'm not paying for it today. Dinner was salmon, quite healthy with a salad but then there was the pumpkin creme brûlée (which they put a candle in for my birthday) so as I waddled home at the end of the night I was beyond full. I even got a free bottle of beer (for my birthday) from the guy at the wine and beer shop. So today I have eaten very little. Tummy not happy with me, I don't blame it. Lmao. Tomorrow us back to the gym.
      Oh speaking of the gym, I went Saturday and after my shower I forgot to put my wrist monitor on so of course I did not track my moves.  Tomorrow I will remember!
      I also had a bit of an issue with a friend who I have known for years, been through so much with. Talked all night with, laughed, cried and supported, yet I heard nothing from him to say Happy Birthday. I was hurt, I admit it. He texted me today and wished me a happy day saying he had no internet for any length if time. All good. But his hubby was on Facebook, several times. They go on outings together so I'm I'm a bit curious, but will speak to him as it's too much for texting. Ah I'm being petty I guess. Especially considering my old roommates whom I lived with for ten years didn't comment either. It's just me, I comment on everything. Lol but that's me, not everyone. See overthink!!! I'm weird just leave it at that, BUT,  I mean well in things.
       So there will be more but I'm getting up at 5 so I'm going to sleep. So ciao for now. 😄😄

Who Am I?

     I have no answer to that question. I am me, I am a short blonde round chick, who loves too hard, get jealous too easily, laughs too loud, cries at the drop of a hat and wants to do everything I can for those I love. This often puts me in a weird light. I says things before thinking, I seem so nosy but  I  doesn't mean to. I ask questions that perhaps I shouldn't but it's because I want to feel connected. I realize too late that I don't need to know everything. It's meant as harmless and I so hope those I love realize this. Especially when they have helped me grow strong, made me realize I am complete, I am sexy, I am worth being with. God love them! 

     I am home right now, watched some TV, and enjoying tea that came from dear friends. I'm looking at two lip balms from another dear friend, I am a lucky biatch. Lol I'm just enjoying the cooler weather that finally arrived tonight. I was in a fog all day today. Kind of on auto pilot. I don't know, maybe it's because my birthday is coming up. I'm looking forward in a way. Actually I'm looking forward to 2014. I feel it's going to be an interesting year. So just popping in, jotting down thoughts in my head, as usual disjointed thoughts, but thoughts. Lmao. So until next time Ciao For Now. 

What To Say

     Had a great weekend. Love my friends, concerned about one. Want to make everyone smile. Wish I had answers to all the questions in my head and in the heads of those I care about. Wish the weather would cool off so I can wear my new dresses. 
     I am tired, I'm going to bed. Ciao For Now peeps

Now What Will I Watch?

     Meaning that I saw the final episode of Broadchurch tonight. It was on BBC America. Excellent production. It's like reading a book. You get so caught up in the story that when it ends you feel a bit empty inside. Lol. We do that though don't we? Get so caught up in the lives of people in these stories, we use them to take away our mundane lives. I spent many summer afternoons with my nose in a good book. Or looking forward to the next installment of a favorite show. You have to be careful though or it takes over. Hubs is like that right now with the show Castle. So much that he  downloaded the remaing 4 books in the series. Remember I got him one for his birthday. So now he is either reading the book, or watching the show. I enjoy the show myself but it's getting obsessive. Glad we are going away.
     Oh yeah, we are going away. Lol. I am off on Friday. Saturday is our17th wedding anniversary  so we are doing an overnight in Lancaster  PA. It's about 2 hours from us and it's a nice change of scenery. We have no set place to stay but we will find something. One day I want to stay at the Lancaster Arts Hotel. It's a funky cool place judging from the website. Check it out if you're so inclined. Maybe a girls weekend, we all chip in for the suite. Always a good time.
     I feel a little odd. It's like I have been transported back to my dreary little world. The excitement of  a week and a half ago is now another beautiful memory. Life is good though. I can't complain. I just wish hubs would get out more. Filing for unemployment would be nice! He literally spends the day with his nose in the castle books or watching it on TV. Glad I'm working or I'd be a lot more upset. It's gets boring being home but that's one reason I was always going for drives. You have together out and mingle in the world. Staying home too long drives me bonkers!
      Aw peeps, I am going to bed. 5 AM is only 5 hours away. Getting to the gym early. Lots to do tomorrow. So until then. Ciao For Now.

Thoughts and Stuff

First a correction to yesterday's blog. It was just over a week ago not 2 that I had my amazing weekend. To you, still floating from it. Some people just have a way of making you feel so special. They ate a rare and wonderful breed. I felt special that's for sure. Okay enough. God someone shut me up. Lmao

 OMG today at work, I have a new dad on the phone. His wife had the baby 4 days ago and I'm walking him through the steps to add the child to his benefits, when all of a sudden, I hear his wife screaming! She's yelling "help me, help me," and she's got this fear in her voice. The man stops talking then she says quick the baby's got something stuck in her throat. The man starts to ask if he can call back I'm like go go now. He hangs up and I'm thinking to myself what could this infant have gotten into her mouth at 4 days old. This was their first child, I asked the Goddess to watch the baby and went on to the next call, but wow! Drama at the call center. Scary to imagine.
     Speaking of the Goddess, it's no secret I'm a witch, pagan, Wiccan, however you choose to word it. But to some it's still a frightening word. I wouldn't hurt a fly. But on Facebook I read an article by a woman who clearly had no idea what an earth based religion was as she kept referring to the devil. We don't believe in the devil. Satanists do, but not us. So how can I worship what I don't believe?  But I found myself laughing at what she was saying about Halloween. Basically it's the witches new year. The veil between the two worlds is thin so we honor our loved ones who have passed on. Christians gave All Saints and All Souls days. Also there is dios de la muerta. Day of the dead. It's not a crazy idea but she went off saying that don't buy candy at Halloween since witches pray over it and put spells in it. That we have time release curses, and that candy corn is the devils own .  OMG really? Okay I agree candy corn is evil, delish sweet evil.  And time release curses, for when the 1/ hour curses aren't strong enough?? And at what time do we start this praying over candy. I pray that I don't shove too many fun size bars into my gob! One person wrote on asking her if she knew the cut off time for candy buying. I was crying, so funny.
     Okay peeps, I can be a bear of very little brain sometimes. I am the type of person that on occasion gets feelings about people, that I lately have found to be accurate. It's kind of cool, and helps me tune into what's going on and what the pace is. It's happened at work several times and made for very easy fun days.  BUT  think a friend is hurting, and I can do nothing to help! I need to step back though because I finally realized the last thing someone wants, is to be reminded of is that they hurt, or feel bad.  They know I care, and if they choose to discuss it then I am there. They know that I am, I don't need to keep reminding them. So I'm bringing myself back to normal pace. Be the friend they know I am, you know, that cute lovable, sweet, funny, and modest gal. So that's it on that. Nuff said, 
     I found a new tattoo artist also a few days back. She is wonderful and I want her to ink me. Must save and also must be real sweet to a certain talented friend of mine who draws great, and it would be honored to wear another piece of his art. Maybe if I ask real pretty like, he will draw me something. He's got so much going on though with his football and work, but I'm not demanding. At his leisure of course. I love owls, fairies, moons, I would love him to draw something he thinks of when he thinks of our friendship. Now THAT would be interesting. Draw how he sees me. Oh that could be good or bad! Lmao. I wish I could draw. I can doodle but not the way he does and his daughter is just like him. She did a drawing of Ariel, and in her headband, she drew something. To me that was outstanding. It gave you another point of concentration. It drew your eye in. It's the details others years her senior forget to do. Brilliant!!   Well peeps, this overbearing, and sometimes annoying but always good hearted Baggins is headed to bed. Gym in the AM. So as always I say Ciao For Now 

I Wish I Could Select A Groundhog Day Of My Choice

     Well maybe more than one day, how about a weekend? I would have posted sooner but I was still floating on air from 2 weekends ago. Not going into too many details but I had such an amazing time. Sometimes someone takes what would have been a great night anyway and turns it into an amazing experience. I was so lucky to have this happen. I will eventually get over this. Maybe a year or two LOL 
     Today I got my arse to the gym again!!  Finally it's been 2 weeks. Today I was walking slow LOL  I swear it was like my body said,"its about time" or "oh hell I thought you had given this up" In the past it would have been the second statement. Today it was the first one. I have a different way of thinking, I missed going. Yes, it surprises me sometimes. I like how I'm starting to look and I'd be lying if I didnt say I enjoy being looked at. Not that Im going anywhere, I have my special someone, but it's nice to hear. I want to be so much more fit for when I go to England. I know it's happening and I can't wait to go. I have been forewarn that I will go mental when I see the tea aisle at the local Tesco.  LOL I am bringing an extra case with me for clothes and tea and Garibaldi's (a fantastic biscuit/cookie) I know aim not going to want to leave. Wonder if my friends would let me stay with them until  found a job. Maybe my friend has something I could do. Maybe be a maid for them  LOL 
     So lets reel it back in and talk work. I am feeling happy with my job, and funny thing today, one of the ladies who worked in payroll walked back in today. So it felt like old home week.I am back to my 8:30 to 5 schedule which is why I was able to get back to the gym. Oh peeps ever want to say things but really can't, I feel that way. It's all good things though I promise that. Well I just wanted to check in and say hi and I will be writing more, I am coming into my season. Love the cooler weather!! So until tomorrow I say Ciao For Now!

I finally have Something To Talk About

For over a year, the better part of two really, I have been trying to lose weight. That was my reason for this blog, I wanted to keep a daily log of my ups and downs, the emotional roller coaster that I was the correct height to ride. It went well for so long. I have readers who subscribe to my blog, I have people from countries that a year ago, I would have sworn were made up, reading my blog! Strangers and friends, all reading my words, for what reason, I really don't know. Who in Russia, what person in Latvia, no really Latvia? Well I finally can say after all this time I actually see a change in my form. A waist has appeared, and I can walk more than a block without feeling like I'm going to pass out. I actually have even pseudo ran across a street and "hopped" onto a curb. Look I have friends of all shapes and sizes and I care for them all. I am changing for me, I am no one to pontificate to anyone. I would never do that. I like people who look different, height, weight, different. We are all beautiful architecture created by whomever you believe, and we make up this neighborhood of ours. It's beautiful to see the differences, like lovely streets lined with interesting houses. Each with its own bits of special add ons, that add to the beauty and make each one unique. Look I'm not knocking cookie cutter houses, but when it's all the same, it can be boring. I refuse to believe we are created to be boring. We are created to live to the fullest of our abilities. I lived the first half of my life on the outer rim of my abilities. Some have said I wasted my youth, part of me agrees but what is done is done. I can only go from here. I'm no great scholar, I'm not a charismatic leader with a following of thousands. I'm just me, silly, short, animal loving, emotional dreamer me. I don't know peoples private thoughts on me, that's their secrets to keep. But I will tell you, I give thanks every day for the friends who stay by me, those that see past my outer shell, or as I like to call it my hard candy coating. The ones who see beauty where others see comical. Those who appreciate what lies inside and underneath.  Just very recently, I was reminded that actions speak louder than words. So very true, I hope my actions show the love I have for you dear friends and if I am lacking in this let me know. I always think it, but I can be a scatterbrained Baggins, and sometimes forget to say it , or I say it too much. Ah well, such is me.  I have a waist, go figure!!!

That's it, nothing great, just my thoughts, brought to mind by the cold medicine I've ingested. If it's all daft, blame Vicks NyQuill not me .  LMAO. Ciao For Now.

A Kind Of Thanksgiving

     Sounds like the title of a Nicholas Sparks book doesn't it? LOL I really have taken a moment today and I sat in a little par near my hose. Very warm out, more like summer than the turning to Autumn. I had just purchased my hubby's birthday gift. I brainstormed this one. He is so hard to buy for, he's a computer guy and I'm really not a computer gal. Oh I've learned quite a bit from him over the years but no where near his gift for understanding these machines. But I digress!  We watch a television show called "Castle". It's very good, cop show with a touch of humor, and he loves it. Boardering on obsession almost, lol, but it's nice to hear him laugh. Well I got two Rick Castle books and since he wanted cask I will put cash in the pages of the book fr him to find. Hehe. Taking him for sushi also. Will be a god night. Now today, I ran a few errands along with picking up his gifty. I came home and he was doing laundry. Does he do it the same as me? No he doesn't but he was DOING THE LAUNDRY! Lets focus on that. I got $65.00 in the mail yesterday from my dad. He likes to pay for my gym membership, as he's so pleased I go and he sees how much better I feel. I told him not to but he still sends it. It's a thing he does simply because he wants too. I can understand that! 😄 I have friends who post owls on my Facebook and Pinterest ages simply because they know I love owls. I have a job once again with people I like. Just know as I'm writing this, hubs put the kettle on and brought me a cup of tea. I ask you how lucky a girl am I?  I really am. I treasure all the little things that they all do for me.  I can be a handful, I can be jealous, I can be a total nutter! Yet they stay by me, and I love each and every one of them. I am so lucky to be urrounded by these people, who do for me, just because. Money? Wish I had a ton of it, not just for me, but for all these people in my life who are there daily, there for my ups and downs, these people who deserve everything good in this lifetime. I don't have that kind of money of course, but I would do whatever I can fr them. So yes this is a Thanksgiving of sorts. I am thankfull for them all.
     That's it for tonight peeps, it's been busy getting used to a schedule again. I will be more stray soon with my posts. Until then, keep looking, and thank you for reading. Ciao For Now

When Did This Become. Crime?

     I'm talking about flirting. I am a big 'ole flirt. I admit it, I enjoy it. It goes no further than that. Makes for relaxed time. Doesn't at long, and then it's bye. That was nice, see ya soon. I do it with friends, I've done it with strangers, I've done it on social meda. It's just me, I don't mean to but it happens. Well tonight I learned a lesson. Ths guy had said hello on a social media sight, saying he tought I was pretty. Well who doesn't like to hear they are attractive to o done, especially when you're not used to it. I replied thank you, very sweet of you. Few days later. I get, "so how are you" I reply and for a month or so we just chatted occasionally. Lately he's been more stronger in hs sexual overtones. Okay I can handle him, I'm savvy. Tonight I get asked what turns me on, what do I find erotic. Okay, flirting turns semi sarcastic as in I'll tell you what you want to hear BUT I'm adding me to it. I say I like porn (not a lie) but I find erotica in most things. The way velvet or fur feels on your skin, textures as you eat food, scent on a private place on a person so that when you smell it it reminds you of that person. That there's an erotic sense to most things if you look. It's not just sex, it's what stimulates all of your senses. Now please note that I truly mean this, I believe it fully.   Next thing I know he asks to Skype with me, tells me we could have fun. NO THANK YOU!! Not interested. Then he mentions 80's music and tells me I let my girly side show before. I write back yes I am girly, joked about Catholic upbringing. Then tell him a funny story about Duran Duran that happened to me.  He says he never got it. I not know who it went to. I texted a pal there to see if he got it. Don't know. But then I see I have a message and lo and behold its a pic of his junk , saying we need to stop talking, don't I want this? I wrote back no and I don't need that on my page. Don't do it again. Then he writes back, calling me a tease and a slut!! Saying I led him on, which I didn't do. I was nice, yes flirty at it times, but that doesn't  a slut make.  I immediately blocked him at that point. I have already deleted people for being too over the top. Hes the first full blocked. I've gotten lots of people asking for pics or to Skype or Kik with them. No no no!!   I was really upset, I texted my friend again, poor guy, only one I know on there, so he got the brunt of my freak out. Forgive me friend if you read this.
     Then right after I shut down my laptop, I started to wonder if maybe I portray myself  in a way I don't realize. Am I being a slut by being able to trump a guy in a conversation where he starts talking sex and I outwit him by replying in a more genteel manor and humor. I got so upset I actually cried for a few minutes. My friends those I love and trust , for a moment I thought I betrayed you all. I think I have no business messaging with people. But I have met some of you on the Internet, several of you who are now my closest and dearet friends, I know you trust me and I trust you. Has it changed so much in 5 years? Is it all just one big meat market now?  Look I'm not a prude but I'm not skyping or sending nudes to these men.they have raw porn on their blogs already, it's not me I can't do that.  I DON'T BETRAY TRUST, I DON'T SHARE ME IN THAT MANNER. There are so many ladies who post nudes but yet I don't see them as sluts. More power to them, I just wonder if they get ths crap in their inboxes?  I like to be sexy for a special person, not everyone out there. What's special about that? I think it's nice to do things for your special someone because they matter, and you want something  private between you & them. I guess  shouldn't worry about the social website but boy I wrote a rant on it! Now I guess I'll be a bitch instead, lol.  Guess you can't win sometimes. I'm just going to post pics of Star Wars and doctor who from now on. Maybe it was a good lesson, I'll say it again, I dont think sluts blush as much as I do. Lol
Ciao for now peeps.

Normally

I would be writing a new blog but I am a bit tired and feeling a bit rough. Not bad but just blah. I will write one tomorrow evening. I'm getting up early for the gym and then work. Do until then. Ciao For Now.

On being a grown up - A thought in my head!

I wanted to be a grown up so much when I was younger. Now that I am one, (at least chronologically)  I'm having second thoughts. I never realised how much my parents shielded me from bad reality.  Things like, Vietnam, having to hold down 3 jobs between them,  not doing for themselves so I could go to "good" schools. I'm sure just the daily grind wore them down. I never knew it though. 
      Now I am aware if such things, of money issues, of world issues, of all the "bad" stuff! I understand my parents so much better now. I'm scared of what is going on around me but because of them, I'm not making it my focal point. I will act accordingly as I must do as an adult, but I will keep my inner child happy also. I will have fun with friends, enjoy sports, go to parties and movies. Do silly things on occasion. Because the one thing they could not teach me is that to be a good adult, you still have to let loose. I never knew why my parents always had house parties and holiday parties. They would send me up to bed but heard laughing and glasses clinking. I now know it was at that time, they had morphed back into kids. Just having fun. Being an adult is not always fun. But it is interesting I suppose. Okay I'll be one! 

Almost the weekend

     First I want to apologize for the spelling errors in yesterday's blog. I was typing fast on my iPad and well, you read the results. Hopefully I do not repeat the offense in this blog tonight. Lol
      I am thinking that we may be getting snow! I say this sarcastically, because, hallelujah day, we have an empty yard!! I came home this afternoon and the lawn guy was getting ready to go. I walked with him to the yard, an when he opened the fence so I could look inside I wanted to pinch myself to see it I was dreaming. No overgrown bushes, no debris, no old lawn mower that hubs was strangely attached to. All that was left was our BBQ grill, two chairs and our very cool, wind chimes that's attached to our fence.  Oh and lots of gnats since everything was churned up. I looked for as long as I could because I kept getting bit by the bugs. Citronella time for the yard. At least now, hubs can go out, sit and have a cigar to relax. He does not smoke them inside.  Oh I have plans, but first we need to throw down something like a weed kill so nothing grows back. I want to do that on about half of the yard so we can put a deck.  Then try and grow some grass on the rest. I want to make it a quiet, calm place. So that I can go outside and do my rituals. Maybe build a little garden alter in the corner. Goddess or fairy statue, and stones. Hehe no worries, not building Stonhenge back there, but how cool would a mini one be? 😄
     Well tomorrow ends my first week at my job. I am on the phones. I was taking calls this afternoon and it feels like I never left. Like I mentioned,this is the first step in a very positive road.  More will be added to this saga I knw. Lol
     I am only doing a little blog tonight as I'm a little tired plus I'm getting up early to go to the gym in the morning. So I am saying god night, and as always, Ciao For Now 😀💗