I Still Look At The Stars And Make Wishes

     I really do still look up to the sky, and marvel at the vastness. I try to gather hope, and believe good things will come. It's getting harder and harder. I never begrudge anyone good news, or good things happening for them. That's not a good thing. Plus it's not who I am. I just really wish I knew how to bring some of it to me. I am not lazy, I go to work every day, I work all the overtime I can, and yet I can't get my head above water. I am writing this down just so I don't freak out. I have to get this out of my system. I'm not doing this for pity, or any other reason. I'm so frustrated. Weird thoughts go through my head. I got paid on Friday, thank heavens as the mortgage hit too. So bye bye check PLUS a little more. I'm trying to work at least 10 hours OT each week so at least this should not be an issue. It's the electric, car insurance, HOA fees that make it a bit of hell for now. I was able to hold off my car payment for 2 months but it's back this month. Ford is awesome this way, thank you guys. But I'm not pushing it. Part of me was thinking of selling it back, unfortunately it now has a dent in it. Plus as hubs said, I need it for work.  Hubs had an interview that he believes went well, but with the bad weather the man he was supposed to hear from was out of the office when he called on Friday. So fingers crossed for next week. I'm hoping that we are getting tax money back this year again. If we have to pay, we can't, so will have to make arrangements. It's okay they will do that. Yay Uncle Sam.
     Again I'm sorry to vent on here
     So yes I still look at the stars and pray. I pray the Goddess hears me and sends me the information and guides my path to get some relief. I'm looking for a second job. You got to do what you have to do. It's getting critical, I never thought it would ever be like this.
      I will still laugh and smile when I speak to those I love. My Facebook page will have cute pics or funny thoughts. It helps me believe it's going to be fine. It will be, it has to be. I do truly believe it will. I just wish it would get a move on. Hubs is putting out resumes every day. I admit I cry at night often. I ask for nothing but what my effort will bring me. I do though, welcome good wishes and thoughts. Most appreciated. Thank you for letting me have my little breakdown. It won't happen again.