Wax(ing) On, Wax(ing) Off

     Nights like this, when I can't seem to fall asleep, my mind wanders. Well not so much wanders, as gets on a plane and flies twice around the world, while jumping back and forth across the equater! A beautiful symphony of total chaos. I go off on more tangents than a physics lab at MIT! My life is, for better or worse, MY LIFE! I'm trying to fix things I can and come to terms with those I can not! I really was sheltered growing up. I lived in a neighborhood that although was fun and safe, also bordered slightly on the side of The Stepford Wives! White upper middle class men and women, mostly Catholic with a few Episcopalians and Methodists thrown in for diversity! It wasn't until I ventured into Manhattan did I realize what I was missing! At the tender age of 19 I found myself in Greenwich Village and Rocky Horror. Something snapped in me. It was like I broke free of some invisible chain that had held me down, not intentional, but it did. All of a sudden I was surrounded by people who experimented with drugs, sex, went clubbing, played music, acted. I was never the same again. Yes of course I experimented myself, I did things I never thought of before and no one thought ill of me. I wrote wonderful poetry stories worthy of any coffeehouse that had an open mike! I was alive and the most wonderful thing happened! I found I could have all these interests and still have my life at home. I found out that my parents loved theater, music, books. How the hell did I never notice any of it! They were never secretive about it, but I suppose I had to grow up and see them for who they were and as I did, the response I got back was different. I crossed a line and became a full person. To this day I dream like no ones business, I write poetry everyday, I sing everyday also. I am not what you would call vanilla sexually, but I can fly that freak flag AND cook you a meal that you will love! I can do all of it, mixtbe crazy and the serious and yes even the mundane! Where has this brought me? I can't say as I am not there yet! I have so much more I am going to do. I am a big tattooed somewhat naive at times big kid at heart kid of woman. I want to be someone that people will remember, even faintly. I hope this chaos that is me brings as much joy to others as I get from them.  See tangents , told ya! Well it's almost 2am and I must force myself to sleep. Hubs is snoring, meds made him sleepy. Jealous of that. Hahaha. Okay then.  Ciao peeps