I've Noticed

     Since I'm going back to the gym and getting back on track, I walk faster around the office. I get winded because hey;  I'm a big gal, and walking is not my forte since I started driving. LOL  BUT I'm getting better. I try to walk a little slower but I can't. I think since my legs are so short (24 in inseam) I always needed to catch up to others so I walked fast and now I just do! Think is I still have the pinched nerve that is slowing me down as its causing pain in my right side so it can hurt when I walk, but muddle through the pain right?  I try I really do! It's been so lovely out that the last few days I have been going out and walking my buildings circumference.  Just trying to do everyday little things as well as the gym. PLUS now I have lost 5 pounds this week and I am once again below the weight I lost, so I dropped all the weight I  gained and now Im losing again!  YES!! I am behind as I was hoping to be at least another 25 or 30 pounds since February but I had the set back then a platau that you would need horses to ride across. That has now changed again and my body is eady to lose more. I am ready to lose more. Once again my clothes are hanging on me.  I'm pleased, maybe more than I should be, but peeps, home life was extremely stressful and the fact I only gained perhaps about 10 pounds, all toll back is amazing.  It's so hard for me. I love to cook, I love sweets, I love to bake and I have to get the old habits to leave me. I am lonely and I admit food can be a friend at times. I really couldn't talk about home with anyone and the one person I needed to talk with finally talked so I think that was a huge help. I feel like a weight was lifted from me. So now I can once again concentrate on myself. With love towards my hubs and what will be.  I have to interject an amusing (to me ) story.  Oreo's have come out with a Halloween cookie. it's the vanilla creme sandwich cookies but the filling is candy corn. Now I haven't had it in at least 3 years but I love candy corn, nothing good in it at all, just sugar and more sugar but it tastes so good. Well I wanted to try these, I bought a bag and had one. I took a bite and spit it out!!! YUCK - it was so damn sweet!! I hated it! Brought the bag into work where it was devoured. I have not lost my taste for sweets but I've noticed I don't like things as sweet as I once did.  I am not having any cookies but if I were to have one, it would be a Jammy Dodger or a Garibaldi (yes I finally had one of those) they are very good and not overly sweet. 
     Okay I have rambled on about myself and my revitalized awareness, and sounding much akin to a little dog yapping for attention. Bringing this down a little, I want to say that today would have been my Mom's birthday if she was alive. I miss her all the time, and I spent some time today reflecting on my relationship with her. She was strict, but kind and fair. She taught me independance and self worth. That I could do whatever I set my mind to, but I wasnt special, so dont expect things handed to me. Work hard, love hard, play hard summed her up. She and I used to do weekend trips that were so much fun.  She bought me my first ameretto sour and we got drunk that night. She had just come off of chemo and it was wonderfull to see her so alive!!  She was awesome, so Happy Birthday Mom!!   For all of you I end this here, Ciao For Now