Lunch Ramblings

     Hello lovelies, well as I stated I am at lunch groovin to some awesome choonz ;-D   Crossing fingers not to jinx it but the day is going decent. Plus it's Friday and a payday so its a double good day there.
     I love listening to music on break and lunch, it takes you away to a place that only you go. I turn it up loud and immerse myself, as well as I can do since I am at work. LOL  Right now it's a compilation group of recordings and man is it ecclectic. It has LL Cool J, Run DMC and A Tribe Called Quest, then it switches to Duran Duran, Phillip Phillips, Lady Antebellum, then to Led Zeppelin, RHCP, and Black Sabbath. PLUS a few new songs thrown in like Sam Smith and The Script. LMAO yep quite a group. I know I look dumb chair boppin but well, dont care :-)
    I was naughty and bought a new pair of dress shoes to wear with my new dress when we go out in England and of course I bought hose as well LMAO  Now I just need to find a nicer black wrap to wear that evening as my jacket won't do. I k ow Im obsessing, but I want to look nice. Its my female prerogative right?   I've lost another 4 lbs in the last week and a half.
  OOH Angel by Massive Attack just started hehehe, I know my posts have been fluffy lately but I hesitate to rant on as from whats going on in the world today i may come across as a bitch.  Plus Ive been fighting off a cold and I'm winning but its doing its best to try and get the upper hand. Not letting it, no sickness until I get back at least.   Well lunch is over so back to rality of the workplace, be back later peeps. Ciao For Now

I Refuse To Panic

     I really hate looking at the news right now, even Facebook, normally known for crazy pet videos is going alarmist on Ebola. It is frightening, I admit this, but dear heavens please stop all these postings, its getting ridiculous. I am not going to freak out if I pass someone who sneezes  more than I already do as I don't want to get sick. lol  Use sanitizer, cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough, and wash your hands! Driving me to cake i swear. ;-)
     So I'm writing up my list of things to do before I leave for England. Hair, nails, waxing, get new makeup that is wearing out. I'm going through clothes and a few new items will supplement my older ones. I was hoping for a brand new wardrobe but ain't happening. Lol
     I'm feeling a bit rough, so I'm having some tea, watching Bones, then sleep, so until next time, ciao for now.

They Call These Benefits?

     Well benefit time has arrived. Where normally I and about 12 others would be prepping for this, it's a bit different this year. My company has outsourced this to another company. So because of this I will be training shortly in the payroll dept. I don't mind, I like learning new things. I know a bit just from my own willingness to ask questions when I get a payroll question. I try to get the answer instead of transferring the call. Just how I am, always questioning. Always nosy I guess. Lol
     Bad thing is that the costs are astronomical this season. Case in point, if I stay with the same carrier and get the same coverage, or at least close to it, my costs will go from $194.00 bi-weekly to $330.00. If I change carriers I can bring that to $239.00. Still more but accessible. Problem is, does my doctor belong to this benefits network. I swear, it's so costly to have insurance but yet it's more costly not to.
      Well I have bought a few items that I needed for my England trip. A jacket being one of them. I got it for a final cost of $45.00, originally 139.00. Amazing deal right? It was nice when I went to look at blouses and tried on my normal size and it was too big. Got the next size down. Still too fat but I'm still working on me. This us life. I'm going to mention it sometimes and sometimes I won't. I've been lax and not the weight I wanted to be but this gives me reason to go again. One day. Maybe hubs will go next time, doubt it but you never know. I look at me this way, if I am a overweight short chick I'm going to be the funniest, sexiest, prettiest, nicest fat woman I can be. Everyone has things they want to change. I'm in good company.
     I can't believe how fast the time is going, how much is going on with everyone and that I'm probably going to be screened for Ebola when I go to board my flight. I try not to think about the world but how can you not. It's frightening so that's why I try to live life with fun. Glad I'm going to England. I mean if you read the papers and the alarmists the world is doomed. So we need to try new things, enjoy the days. Live and love our families and friends. I'm trying to and I am! I am also going to stop here before I start to mouth off and rant.  Haha you're welcome. Lmao. So as always I will say. Ciao For Now.

Old Enough To Know Better?

     So as I sit here I am feeling quite warm and fuzzy. See today is my birthday and a lovely day is coming to a close. On Friday I got into work and a co-worker and decorated my desk. This was the first time anyone has done this for me. Another one made a delicious coconut cake.The card was signed by everyone there and even the phone calls weren't to bad. Early afternoon, I am brought a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Lilies and roses. It was gorgeous in shades of orange and reds, fall colors that I love. It was from my friend and his family in England. So thoughtful of them. I will be there in just over 25 days, yeah still uber excited. LOL

So Saturday was sweet as I was able to get an outfit at 40% off and then we had an excellent meal and early to bed as we got up early this morning to start out trek to the mountains. We walk into the restaurant and low and behold an entire table with firemen. About 14 of them. Happy Birthday to me :-D bwahahaha  Out to the mountains, it was a very autumn day, cool temps and a little overcast. Perfect weather for a drive with the windows open. So on Facebook, almost 100 people wished me a happy day. WOW!! Did not expect that, how sweet of them all. I know tomorrow I have to go back to the real world and work but Im drinking a hard cider and hubs prepared a hot bath for me so off I go to finish the night. Hope you all had a great weekend, and until next time ciao for now.

Warning, Bored Round Chick.

     I've had dinner, taken off my make up and put coconut oil on my face, arms, and legs. Now I'm craving a Bounty bar. Lmao 
     Pretty much status quo except tomorrow news of open enrollment will be emailed to about 60,000 employees. OH JOY See, we are not doing it this year. This is new. Employees don't like new, is I'm thinking we are going to be swamped with calls. Yes the day goes fast but I'm going to be a broken record, saying the same thing over and over. 
     We are having a Harvest pot luck in a few weeks. It's going to be tough with all the good food but. I'm in the homestretch, time for decadent nibbles has passed. It will be nice to hang out and not answer phones for an hour or so, just talk and socialize. I'm bringing tiramisu. I make a fabulous tiramisu if I say so myself. :-D. I like to use dark rum in it or sometimes amaretto instead of kaluha. Going be a fun time, get the office tipsy. Hehehe.  Thoughts are going through my mind but I need to gather my thoughts.  More to come, like fear of fitting in an airplane seat. Eek! ;-) 
So ciao for now. 

Major Thunderboomers

     So much for waking up early to see the eclipse of the full blood moon. Pouring rain at the moment. Feeling decent, although my thumb is still hurting. Not sure why, but when I wiggle it it cracks, so I don't wiggle it. Lol ah well. Not a whole lot new going on, oh I did get new glasses. They look pretty nice. I put a pic on Facebook and I'm quite surprised it's gotten so many likes. What's even more surprising it's from people who rarely ever comment or like any of my stuff. Not sure if that means the pic is good, or is it bad. Lmao
     I have two birthdays this week. Well 3 if you count mine. Lol lots of Libra ladies. LOOK out. haha
Great women, both of them. They deserve great things. I wish I could get them uber cool prezzies. Hubs actually asked if we wanted to try and go out for my birthday. I told him no. Things are a bit tight at the moment. I told him no gifts, no cards, no flowers. Just him and me , and the cat of course. We can maybe go for a drive up to the mountains again. Not the cat though hehe. I told him print out a pic of the flowers and I will tape it to my desk Friday. Lol Yes I love getting flowers and gifts but there is plenty of time to do that next year.
Besides, all those candles on a cake would be a fire hazard. (Wink wink)
Oh well peeps I will be back tomorrow, getting a bit sleepy.   So as always, until then. Ciao For Now

Sunday Eve

     So as I sit here blogging, my cat is lying right next to me. Normally when I get back from my dad's she pays me no mind. This time Hubs came with me so she was all over both of us. See the nice things about cats, like teenagers, if you leave enough food & water for them they're fine for a few days. LOL
      I was supposed to go see a Red Bulls soccer game Saturday but funds being what they are, I sold the tickets. My friend understood, so we all went to this cool BBQ joint and watched the game over the TV.  Thierry Henri made a great goal. Good game. Despite this, it was nice surprising my dad. He couldn't believe hubs was there. Was really sweet. Our neighbor came over and was like, well he really does exist. We were there hanging in the dining room, just talking, and his wife calls him asking where he was. He tells her, I'm at Eddie's and guess what? Mary brought her husband. From the phone, clear as a bell we all here her yell out.....NO SHIT!!  Oh man we were crying.
      Today I went over to the neighbors to color the wife's hair. It was nice to have someone to do that with. I used to do a friends color years ago. I'm pretty good on dark colors and gingers. I can't do blonde so I do not do mine. Next time I'm going to color her hair and do highlights too. It's girly stuff but I love it. So after I did that I drove my dad down to church. I came home to find hubs in the shower, so of course I joined him.  Our shower at home is too small. I would love to remodel, but since that's not happening any time soon. We took advantage of the bigger facilities. It's actually a whirlpool tub but I want to flush out the jets before using it that way. I cleaned the bathroom. Left instructions for dad to reheat the food I left him, and off we went. Leaving about 2 hours later than usual, didn't make too much of a difference, meaning traffic was status quo. We went out for dinner when back in our area.
     Halfway through we stopped, checked my phone,  and I found out a friends son was injured playing football today. Poor boy, not a fun injury. Hope to speak to my friend tomorrow to find out how it happened. I tease that I'm nosy but I'm truly concerned. That sucks - at least they won.
     Well tea is finished, it's half 11 so I'm off to bed. Until next time, ciao for now.

See You All Sunday Night

Headed to. NYC. Be back peeps. Ciao For Now

Shit Happens - Life Goes On

     Was in a stoic mode all day today. Steady as she goes, do what you must. Not much chatter. Just lots on my mind. It's cool, shit gets put in your path. You either walk around it, or walk through it. Eventually you find another place to walk. I've been up and down for a while now. It's getting to me. So much that I was willing to do a leave without pay for the final Friday of my two week off jaunt from work in November. One days pay offered up for the sanity of taking a vacation day this coming Friday. Well worth it in my book. I love going to NY. I get a sense of renewal. I'm literally going back to where my story begins. Ooh how profound this ole gal can be. Didn't even try to be. I'm a natural. (And the crowd goes wild).   This time though, a big change. Yes you DO sense a disturbance in the force. Hubs is going with me!! Yes, you read correctly. We leave mid morning and I hope the road gods are kind enough to allow us to get there by about half 2. Dad doesn't know, surprise! Lol Hubs is well aware of my funk and I'm sure this is a shot at cheering me up. It's working. I'm delighted he's going. A friend is coming over for dinner and the 3 of us are whisking dad away for a meal out. Great place. Called Umberto's. I'd say local sans the fact that it was on the Food Network. One of the chefs loves their pizza. Rightfully so, it's so well done, but ooh their linguine with clam sauce - heaven in a bowl. Carbs be damned, homemade hot out of the oven Italian bread. No one can resist that! Repeating mantra - moderation moderation moderfuckingration! Yes I'll be diligent but will be a nice night. Dad will be so surprised, hope it's not too much to take. Don't want him ill from the shock. (Nervous chuckle)
We are tightening the belt here so this will be a slight loosening up a notch. I need my NY. I need the sound of the waves, the home I grew up in. The familiar all around me from the moment I step foot in that house. I remember the feel of those footy pj's I had. I can actually remember them. I remember the feel of my garnet red wool blanket that covered my bed and the warmth I felt on cold nights. The sounds, even the smells. Funny stories, like the time a squirrel came inside. He must of come in through a hole in the roof. Well I was about 7 and I was in the bathroom with my Nona. My mom said to stay in there. I could hear her and dad trying to get the squirrel out the front door. Well I couldn't stand it any longer. I open the bathroom door and starring right at me is the squirrel. I was startled so I screamed. This scared the furry little rodent and he turned and high tailed it out of dodge. Yep, right down the stairs and out the open front door. Score one for the chubby kid in the red footys. Which by the way were too long on me. Sigh......
      This whole home thing is heightened by the fact that the colder weather is coming in. I get a terrible nesting urge this time of year. I want to do all these DIY projects and in good faith scour Pinterest and like minded websites. Get fabulous ideas, do nothing. Well that's not entirely true. But I have found out that when I shoot for the shabby chic cottage look, it just looks like a rummage sale. But I also bake this time of year. I wonder if I can bake when I'm in England. My friend uses special flour, because, well just because . No need to explain, but I have done good recipes using that kind of flour and it would be nice to make a treat for the family using it so he can indulge as well. Oh I'm sure we all will be indulging plenty but something homemade just feels right. To me anyway. I'm odd that way. Well that's one way. Lol ;-)
      Tangent alert! Friends father died today. He was with him he said when he passed. No pain, just peace. Sad and beautiful at the same time. Told ya, total 360 change of subject. Thought came into my head so I acknowledged it. I am sad for his loss. It happens to us all. I lost my mother 17 years ago this month, I hope I'm sparred my dad for some time. He has good and fond memories though he said.
      See that's the beauty of memories. They can hurt sometimes, but moreover, they are a comfort. A giggle and sometimes, even a turn on. They wrap us in emotion, sometimes at the wrong times, but I would never give them up if at all possible.
     Okay, thoughts are not staying focused,  as evident in the last few lines. So before I go completely James Joyce and stop using punctuation altogether, I will sign off.  So ciao for now.   Oh - do you like how I hinted that I'm freakin well read by knowing that Joyce wrote the last part of Ulysses with none. Check it out if you don't believe me, and he wrote some naughty saucy tales too. That crazy SOB. Hahaha.

Rainy Days and Almost October

     I can't believe it's almost October. I also can't believe in just over a month I will be traveling to England.  I was also hoping to be about 25 pounds less than I am. Now I do weight less than I did this time last year, even hubs says I look smaller , but i wanted to ow them! Then I come to my senses and realize - hey they see my pictures they know I'm fat! I'm not ashamed of me, I'm fun and then I feel okay about it. Its just that so much has been going on at home. I'm really looking forward to going, to meeting everyone, to letting go with no work or home to worry about.
     I feel bloated today so i just want to go to the gym and work out a little.  I'm feeling a bit disconnected from folks today and the weird thing is it doesn't bother me as much as it usually does. I think that's a sign of growing and learning that I don't need to be there 200% and still love them and have them love me.  Who knew  lmao  
    I'll catch up later peeps I want to talk a walk around the office  Ciao  For now

What I Learned Growing Up Fat

People can be cruel for no reason - so I learned kindness early

People judge without knowing you - so I learned to know a person and not pre-judge anyone!

People tease you - so I learned humor, first a sheild then as entertainment

People talk behind your back - so I learned to be upfront & speak my mind

People will lie to you - so I learned to be truthfull

People will ignore you - so I may at times push too hard but only because I always had to

People will use you - so I learned to love & appreciate those I call my true friends

People don’t want to be seen with you or are selfish - so I learned to depend on myself and was always willing to share. 

So here you have a woman who will be honest with you, share what she knows (sometimes when you don’t even want to know lol) Can speak about current affairs and will laugh up a storm with you. In retrospect I suppose I should be grateful for these people as they made me the person I am today. I love myself and moreover I LIKE myself. I am not perfect and I’m working on changing what I don’t like. I don’t expect anyone to help me, although I do like support from those I care about. Hey, I’m human. It's taken me a long time to be almost,  I dare say, proud of myself. I'm not fully there yet but I'm on my way. Closer than ever before.

Ciao For Now. 

Ah Social Networking....

     So as it turns out my Husband is now on Facebook. For years he swore against this. I have a feeling it was a bit of "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em " pressure but I know he is enjoying it. He's connected with an old friend. A very nice gal who used to be his roommate years back. Of course there is the added amusement of mocking me and I don't mind. I'm not that insecure - maybe. Lol
     Well babies. HAPPY AUTUMN. The first harvest festival us here. It's called Mabon. We celebrate the offerings of the earth today. The day is split between light and dark and the darkness will slowly creep in then finally settling into deep winter slumber. I was noticing while driving tonight that it was only quarter past 7 and the sky was streaks of pink and darker blue. The pale gold and orange off the horizon as the sun set earlier, causing cars headlights to turn on. Last Saturday I went into a store about this sometime and when I came out it was proper evening. Last widows of light blue but the sky was deep blue. There is a crispness in the air. To say I love it, is an understatement.
     I'm off to sleep perps, been a rough day, but at least I'm going to get my haircut tomorrow after work. It's getting long. So sweet autumn dreams, until next time. Ciao For Now

Feeling better and I really mean that.

        All it took was someone saying it will be okay. I guess I need validation on my thoughts and hopes.  There ARE worse things people go through. Made sense, so thank you.
        So I found out that U2 has their own hotel in Dublin. Wow. Yeah a friend looked it up today. Wonder if U2 music is in the elevators. Lmao. I'm sure it's major money to stay there. One day? Nah....
       Work was busy but but less crazed thankfully. I went to the gym tonight, just feeling better all around. Another friend has her situation cut out for her. Lots of hard changes and I'm sending her lots of hugs and positive thoughts.  
        Well nothing really. This chick is going to sleep, I am tired!! Ciao For Now
       

In The Wee Hours

It's half 2 in the morning. I used to love this time. The stillness, the calmness if it. But right now my mind is cluttered. I'm having setbacks. Much like an alcoholic who decided to have one drink. I are yesterday like I was having my last meal. I had chips and donuts and lots if wine. The stress is getting to me and I caved. I'm furious at myself for being so weak. For giving in. My own body is fighting me as right now I feel quite ill. It will pass but I'm still angry I did it.  I'm scared!!!!!!
     Things I keep secret, they are eating away at me. Im trying to put up a good front. While I play magician in the shadows. I don't know how much longer I can. Like I said I'm scared.  I cry every night and let me tell you as queen of selfies - it's getting harder to take a flattering photo. The circles and bags under my eyes are getting worse.  The horror  haha.  See trying to make light of it. But I really can't.  I don't know if any if this is cohesive - if it reads with any sense. Sorry perps. Like I said before.  I'm scared! I will smile and be cheerful as no one wBts to hear depressing stories especially when there is nothing they can do. But sometimes I just need a hug. I'm going to go find the cat for a cuddle now.  Good night. Or morning depending where you are. Until next time

Well...

     All in all, a decent day. Things could be better, but everyone has got some shit going on. Like I said to someone today on Facebook. If you wake up, it's always got the chance to get better. So on that note I'm ending tonight's blog.  Ciao For Now. 😄

Wow. It Got Hot In Here

      I wrote this a while ago but never posted it! Whew I was on fire!!! Must have watched a great movie or something. Oosh!!

The touch of your hand, the taste of your skin
The way you work my body
I respond completely
Use me, mold me, take me
I am your toy, play with me.

I want you inside me, I want you completely
I want to devour every inch of you
Past desire, to the deepest part of the soul
Meet me there as we fly together.

In ecstasy of each other
Perfect feel, perfect fit
That perfect moment in time
The look on your face as you look at mine
The dark demon of desire
Releases us as you move inside me

Don't stop, don't ever stop
I want to burn in your fire
I want to be part of you
Blood running together
Lick me let me lick you
Feel me inside you, that special insertion only for you
Dominate me and let me explore
Be so in control of me that you allow my probing
To take you in kind
So intimate the angels blush
Perfect moment in time
In that moment it's only us as I come over you
And you come in me.

Somber Day For So Many Reasons

     First and foremost of course is that today marks the 13 year of the attacks on NYC Twin Towers World Trade Center.  I remember these towers being built as a young gal. The company my Mother worked for quickly moved into them and she worked there for years. Oh how I loved to visit her -  to see the clouds beneath us as I looked out of the window. I know people who lost friends there. These people are NYers and English. This was not just an attack on America, yes that was the main focus, but it was an insult and terrorist attack on countries all over the world. It was felt by everyone. I am looking at tributes today and I am fighting back tears.
     I was reading last night about the people who "jumped" out the windows. They were gasping for air. Now I ask you this? If you had the choice of breathing and falling knowing the end would be instant OR falling into a fiery furnace that was eating away at the floor whee you stood what would your choice be.  I know what mine would be. I would want to fly out and breathe in air. They say the speed of the fall was not enough to lose consciousness but was enough to positively say that you would be dead on impact.  I'm getting teary at the thought of having to make that choice. The fear these people must have felt, its beyond horrific. I will never get over this and each year its like puling off a band aid to reveal the sore again only to put another band aid on until next year.
    My next reason is that today I just found out that someone I worked with here for years, committed suicide. His funeral is today. he was a bit of an odd duck, walked to the beat of his own drum for sure. I got upset with him on several occasions but then finding out that he had OCD and AHAD and then it all made sense. He really tried in his way.  He had a bad leg and walked with a limp yet he would run for cancer or run for other awareness groups. You had to respect that. I asked him once and he said why not I can run? Why nit help those that can't?  Yep respect that. This sad news was the cherry on the sundae so to speak. Hopefully we have god news later on, wil inform you all after the fact as not to jinx it.

So on this day of remembrance I want to say to those I love. You all know who you are. That you are important to me, you matter to me, your health and welfare matter and that I love you all. So if I'm too pushy or crazed at times it's really just a weird sense of affection because I cant be there with you all the time.
 Ciao For Now

Fucking Tired Of It!

     I tired of constantly walking uphill. Even good things have to get shadowed. Most recently my returning flight home from England. Instead of being able to zone out for hours I know have to change airports. Yep not non stop now. All because of cut backs during winter months. Yes I understand but couldn't they have chosen another flight? At least my lay over is at Kennedy Airport. One I know. Although I won't be able to leave. So I suppose I will just get drunk and the connecting flight is on Delta! Sir Richard I have a complaint. It's really stupid I know but I'm graciously told I won't have to pay any fee for the switch in flights. I so hope not. They canceled my flight. Another thing that is effecting me that I had no hand in. At least it's only another hour from NY to my final destination. {rolling eyes} I know pity party. But I'm tired of not sailing  my own boat!
      Another thing that really pissed me off happened last night. I was on Facebook (I know surprise!) anyway....a friend made mention that his kids wanted to watch his wedding video. Now thus friend and his wife also, had gastric bypass surgery. He lost over 200lbs I believe since then. So this other girl (who also had the surgery) commented on how fat everyone looked and thank heavens they are all skinny now and sexy. Mud look how much hair all the men had then. WHAT!  Superficial bitch! I was seething.  How dare she make a commenting that and I know it was just that she's petrified of being fat. It's not a bad word. Christ I wanted to scream at her. She had surgery and got to the weight she wanted and fast! I'm struggling every fucking day with a snails pace. It's been two years but I'm down from a size 30 dress to my latest purchase of 22!! I did thus on my own, with love and encouragement and I know my friends love me and I daresay may even think sexy. At every size even when I couldn't see it. She has no idea how cruel that cut me. She has not learned about nutrition or exercise. I've seen her chow downtime someone with an over achieving metabolism. I mean we know what's bad to eat but I'm not going to condemn anyone for being human. But she does and says this with no caring about anyone's feelings and that makes her a selfish bitch. Even the men weren't safe. Do they have list hair. Who the fuck cares?! I know it shouldn't bother me but it does. I don't like cruelty at all. I've been victim enough and I wang to smack her.  AAARRGGGHHHH!!!
      Oh well. Peeps. I'm headed back to prepare our dinner. The veg part anyway. I already cooked the chicken at 7this morning - was up early .
So until next time. Ciao For Now

Sometimes

     Okay, been a not fun few days. Some sort if stomach virus decided I'd be a great place to hang out and halfway through the day on Thursday made it impossible to stay at work. This is still going on today, 2 days later. Not much you can do for this other than drink lots of water. I've lived on soup the past few days but ventured into eggs this morning. So far so good. So what's been going on?
     Not a lot really. I had to laugh as a person I spoke with lady week wNts to meet and have coffee. She said she liked me and thought I was funny. She was very nice and I'm sure it's all innocent. But it amused me. Work was crazy busy Tuesday and Wednesday. Not much time for anything. Not even Facebook. Shocking I know! Lol. I have lots on my mind, things are still up in the air about previous issues and it's taking it's toll on me. I swear the bags under my eyes could hold a weeks worth of clothes. Not sleeping well but in comparison with what's going on with some folks I know and what I've read. It really matters very little. Yes I'd love to hear from people but part of me is just as happy not to. Who ever thought that would even be considered by me. I love my friends, love talking with them but right now I'm kind of in a state if flux. It will change an doing I'm going to be in England in just over 2 months. A dream come true. But right now, although I've lots of thoughts, they're not making it to my blog. Hang around guys. They will be shortly. Ciao For Now

So Okay It's Been Awhile

     It's that I really have not much to say. Lol all is pretty much as it has been. So I will be back in a day or so, but if anyone has questions, bring them on.  I think I may regret that. Haha. Ciao For Now