What's She Going On About Now

     In these early hours of the morning, one tends to feel a bit like the God Janus. Looking at the day just gone, while pondering the day ahead. I find myself drifting from one to the next quite easily as if floating on a cloud. I like this time of morning when my thoughts keep me company. I am the Queen and while my subjects sleep I am free to behave as I wish, even if the actions play out only in my mind. There is nothing that stops me,  and in my thoughts  no one questions my reason or intelligence. I have full autonomy. My world is as quirky as a Mad Hatters, mixed with the grounded vision of any good philosopher. My connection to my heart is stronger and I feel connected tfamily and friends in a way that I wish I could express yet am never able to do. My words always seem contrived and overused. Maybe the pure love I have for these people goes beyond anything I could find in a dictionary. No matter what, it's obvious that I have an easier time of writing what I feel, as I trip over my emotions when I try to speak them.
     I want to be elegant but I'm not sure it's a good fit for me. I would just once like to ride in a limo to start a 5 star night. Oh how the beautiful people all know just how to hold their champagne glasses. How to say just the right thing and laugh just so perfectly and always at the right time. So not me. I'm boisterous and talk way too much, I spill things and have a knack for blurting out my thoughts without thinking them through. I'm the proverbial sow's ear waiting to be made into a silk purse. But truthfully the folks in steerage always seem to have lots of fun. So -I'm happy with me overall . I like who I am and want to share myself with family and friends but alas very few are nearby. So I get distraught occasionally. I found something today about missing people  that said it best.  It went ( and I'm paraphrasing here) "It's not who you've known the longest but its when you are in a moment that you think of someone who you want to share what's happening, that's truly missing someone. " I have the quote somewhere but you get the gist if it.  I have come across things in day to day that I think of people and know they could appreciate s situation or something the same as me. Something we would share. Love that.
     I want to share myself with you dear friends and love when you share back with me. That's worth more than gold. It's priceless. It's bedtime now. So I say ciao for now