Yep I've been Incognito

   The past few months (year really) has been very hectic, crazy, frantic, frustrating, pick a crazy adjective and insert as you see fit.   Through this all I've felt high and low and every single step in between. I am no the carefree sprite I care to be  LOL   I swear I am still fun but my mind is so occupied with dark thoughts and fears and hopes and well you get the idea.  I think its coming to a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, at least I hope so.
    Through all this I have to say that I am so thank full for my Sister, she is the light I need to see and my rock. She has been there for me in such a way that I can only say I hope you all know someone lie this and if you don't, ...I'm sorry about that,  She is what I call a pure soul. She is there for you through thick and thin. I am most grateful to have her in my life.
     I also want to say if this lean time, so to speak has done anything, its' strengthened the bond I have with my husband.  I know that there are some out there that are waiting for him to fail. Some since the day I got married.  To them I give my middle finger way up!! He is a good man, he has faults as do I.  I know shocking, I do have faults,  no no  stop its true!! hehehe We are working as a team to get through this and hes ever diligent on bargains and I am so much better at cutting costs and we have worked together on bare minimum,for months now.  I've noticed we argue a lot less and when we do its not frivolous, meaning its for real things , not petty things that often get drawn into fights with spouses.  We atre closer and I can't wait for the days when we don't have to penny pinch as much and can enjoy some of our spare time together. Things that we did "just because" now get looked at (like is spending the money for a drive on a Sunday worth the price of gas), I don't look at things (or people) the same anymore and that may be a good thing.
     I love my friends, they know this, but I may be distant at the moment, I'm not on that dear old facebook near much as before, if I am its because Im playing Alpa Betty
Life WILL get better, its better than many so I have no right to complain really, So lets see what happens from now on
I'll be back , ciao for now

I Felt Bad But It Was Not Working

...the trainee I had. We let her go tonight. It's been almost 3 weeks and still not quite getting it.  Never asks questions, takes very little notes and doesn't keep them with her , the few she did take.  I really hated doing it, especially with hubs looking for work still. I know all to well how hard it is to get a job.  But I wasn't going to waste time either. Well I'm sure I'll be training someone else when the time comes.

I wanted to have a bright and cheery blog, but I'm not in the mood. As a matter of fact, I'm getting frustrated. I miss Mary, she was a great gal. She'll be back one day I know.  Ciao For Now

I Should Be Outside

     But I'm not.  Tonight is a big night. It's Litha, the summer solstice, it's also a full "strawberry" moon. This hasn't happened in about 70 years. Two big events on the same night. But I'm inside here, writing for the first time in days.  I'm getting more and more upset when I go on social media. People are just downright rude. I know it's a silly thing to say, but I'm talking, non thinking, non caring rude. This upcoming election, well it's just ludicrous who we have to vote for, we can't say certain things in a country that was founded on freedom of speech all because it offends a person or group. I'm tired of the entire thing. Illegals are getting benefits and help and yet myself and hubby are finding us again scrambling to pay the mortgage and bills. I'm tired of crying and feeling helpless. I've sent out my resume now, have to look for ways to help. I know it doesn't magically come to you. If we were in NY, I'd drive for Uber, but I'm not as familiar with the area I'm in now. Hubs looked into it too so hopefully he qualifies. He has been going on interviews galore and getting nothing. So when I go on social media and see all the turmoil it just adds to the angst I have inside.
     Sis is good and she had me laughing tonight, oh the shit that goes on. Lol. I miss her and hate that I live so far from her. I am already looking forward to my next trip up.
     Ah I'm just bitchin, I'm not happy, I'm not angry really either though. I'm just unsettled, I'm touchy, things that normally would never bother me are doing just that, my hair sucks, but that will change this weekend (yay). I'm going to work on a really fun positive blog, instead of the crappy ones like this.   Peace out peeps, until next time ciao for now

Night and Day Indeed

.    So I'm sitting in bed, lights out, and it's delightfully chilly in the bedroom. It's a half hour until midnight. I may be done with this blog by then. Lol.
So I left to go to NYC on Friday night.  Left later than I normally would as the sun is setting later and people freak out and drive badly when the sun is setting. I don't know why, perhaps they forgot sunglasses but there was rather heavy traffic. Got to Dads and we chatted for a bit then went to bed. I was getting up early Saturday. Fast forward to Saturday. It's just after 9am and my sister gets to the house and off we go, out to the islands or breakfast/brunch.  We went to a place called Maureen's Kitchen. It's over in Smithtown out on long island.   So I was expecting to wait quite a long time as I've been told the wait is lengthy but worth it. The restaurant has even been on Food Network show Diners Drive-Ins and Dives. Well we got seated inside of 15 minutes. So we are deciding what to have. Sis gets a French toast croissant stuffed with cream cheese and raspberry preserves and a side of sausage, I got lemon poppy seed ricotta pancakes, with a side of bacon. As I watch other folks get served, I notice the portions are huge. Ours arrives and oh man does it look fantastic. I forgot to mention mine came with fresh strawberries on top. Lots of them. It was fabulous. I think these were the best pancakes I've had in years.  The lemon flavor was just right and the strawberries were lush! Sis said hers was excellent and it looked heavenly.  We left about an hour and a half later and asked, so what do we want to do. One thing we both enjoy us just getting in the car and driving. No plans, just go. So that's what we did. We ended out at a town called Orient Point which is the farthest you can go on the north shore without going over water.  We spent some time out there. It was a very nice day, but it always is when I spend it with my sister. We are two peas in a pod except she's way more organized than me. I try, I do and at work I succeed. It's personal life I get cluttered. Lol
     She gave me some clothes to try if I want them.  In the bag were several capri pants. Tried one on tonight and well they fit fine. I just wouldn't call them capris on me. My sister is about 7" taller than me.  So yep, I'm almost at a perfect ankle length on these babies. Sigh.  LOL
      So I go to bed last night in a fine mood, only to wake up and read of this horrific shooting in Orlando FL.  Such a tragedy. 50 dead and 53 wounded. Worst shooting in America. So it seems it was  terrorist related, but of course the anti gun lobby starts.  I have no issue with guns except that you do not need a AK-47 to go deer hunting. Problem is that the people who buy guns for bad reasons will always find a way to get one.  I don't have the answers but my heart goes out to them all. The ones who died and their families/friends.  Also too the wounded, that they all pull through.
      So on a somber note, I once again say, hug the ones you love. Tell them you love them and  because sometimes tomorrow never promised to anyone.
 ciao for now,

He Got 6 Months!!!

    I am sad, and angry, and frustrated at the judicial system at this time.  That little shit who raped that UNCONSCIOUS young woman at Stamford University got only 6 months. The judge said it may be detrimental for him to spend any more time in jail. WHAT!!  This judge is crazy, I know he was paid off , he had to be, because if he believed what he is saying he is certifiable. This poor woman is now scarred for life, she is putting it past her and moving on she says and I applaud her and I know she has the best thoughts and hopes and I hope this all gets locked into the deepest part of her mind where she can then move forward, because 10, 20 , 30 years from now something will happen and its going to flood back and cripple her. She will relive the event and the pain will be real yet again.  This is what happens when you get raped, yet the POS guy Brock Turner, who shows no remorse btw, is getting off with a slap on the wrist.  His father wants people to go lenient on him as his young life shouldn't be ruined for "20 minutes of action"  WHAT THE FUCK?? What about this woman's young life? His son is a criminal plain and simple, he deserves no special treatment, yet he is a young white male in a very affluent area and money talks. DAMN SAD!!! I bless the 2 men from Sweden who by happenstance were riding by and saw what was going on and stopped it.
    People have fantasies about things like this and whatever gets ya going, I'm not a vanilla person myself, but I know the difference, I have to know!! I feel for this woman, my heart goes out to her. I know karma is going to come to Brock but the fact that a criminal is going to jail for 6 months (probably get out in 2) just makes my blood boil.

I'm done, I'm outta here, I'm pissed off  Ciao for now peeps

Monday Morning Is Here Again

    I have started a new blog 4x so far this morning, Nothing is coming out the way I want to say it.  I have this problem talking too  LOL   I will be back when I can formulate the words well enough to have them flow onto the page.

Just Sayin

   In life we meet people and suddenly it clicks, you have a friend for life, you found the family you didn't have. What makes it better is when you see that others are just as concerned and care abut those you love as you do.  Some get jealous, and I have my moments but I am glad, as it validates my feelings n that this is a great person.

                                             My Friends just know this

If you want to laugh, I'll laugh with you , hell I'll probably be the reason you are laughing (I hope)
If you need advice - I'll give you all the free advice you can use (worth every penny )
If you need space - I will let you have it  (but know that I am there for you whenever you need me)
If you need a shoulder to lean on - I have two. no waiting
If you need love - I love you , I will give you a strong hug and a kiss and maybe even bake you cookies
If you need encouragement- I have no problem telling you your good points and even your bad and I'll buy you a pint while I'm at it
If you need help moving -  I'll tape and label your boxes and even call the moving men for you,
If you need help moving a body - I'll bring a shovel (JOKING!!! (maybe) )
If you need help cleaning your windows - I'll clean the kitchen  I can't reach high windows ;-)
If you need to know how great you are - allow me to be your mirror, look at how much you mean to me and how you make my life better and I promise you will have no doubt how great you are

The End Of A Holiday Weekend.

     I'm siting here with a huge lump in my throat. This has been a very unsettling news weekend.  First and foremost it was Memorial Day here in the states. We honor those brave men and women, who served in the armed forces and now lay in national cemeteries. They are the ones who allow me to write and rant about whatever I want without fearing censorship. May their sacrifices never be forgotten.
    I also read about a little boy in Japan, who depending on the story, was either left for 5 minutes on his own in a forest as punishment or was abandoned there by his parents.  Either way he can not be found. How can parents do this. If your angry at your child leaving a little child in the forest is not a proper punishment.  And if they left him there on purpose, with possible exposure, animal attack or worse, how the hell could they just throw him away?  Then there's that poor gorilla that was shot because a mother let her 4 year old out of her sight in a zoo, so the child got through the enclosure and fell into the gorillas area.  Okay how did the child get across grass and through bars and fall.  The gorilla in several accounts looked to be saving the child as he fell into deep water. But the zoo could not promise his safety so they shot him. One less endangered  silverback gorilla in the world. The parents should be held responsible. I'm sorry you take a 4 year old to a zoo, you hold their hand or watch them. They don't run around. No one is perfect, but come on, so many things could have happened. I'm so upset by all if these occupancies.  I'm fortunate to know children raised by parents who watched out for them. I hope the young boy in Japan is found. I hope the parents of the small toddler from the zoo learn to watch that previous gift and feel remorse for the loss caused by them in my opinion.
    Now, for me personally it was a nice rest. A moment to remember those in the service. Then a nice drive with hubs. Some good roadside BBQ. Always the best. One nice thing around these parts.  You will see smokers on the road and lines of cars that pulled off. So we had a fab meal of brisket, home made cowboy baked beans ( good flavor, not over sweet) and coleslaw.  Fresh watermelon, then ice cream for dessert. Burp.  Not a meal you eat everyday.  But so fuckin yummy.
    Spoke with Dad today. He's doing well. I'll see him the weekend before Father's Day, I could have waited but I wanted to see him. I miss him.   Oh I penned a haiku, I'll share it with you now
I just went outside
The sun is so very very hot
Screw it, I went inside
I hope you enjoyed my little bit of poetry. Lmao.
     Well back to work in the am. Elevator is still out. I think my company is going this as a wellness challenge for the employees.  Lol. Should be fixed Wednesday.  I'm not worried, I'm only on the second floor.  So I wish you all a good rest of the week and as always, ciao for now

May I Just Say

   I am sick to death of all the political posts on facebook. I mean this person did this, this person did that. hate this group of people, love this group. Spin doctors all around.  Yes there is proof of wrong doings and these are being overlooked, yes, some people follow blindly. I do not. I am a free thinker who will vote how I choose to, I am my own views and sadly no one I have seen yet really fits the ideal I think that we need as a country.  This will not stop me from voting, especially since memorial day is this coming Monday.  Kind of apropos that its calling for rain, the Gods are weeping for us all.    I know lots of people are having cook outs and get togethers, hubs and are are going out for a drive up to the mountains on Sunday. Leaving early and grabbing a bite out Shenandoah way. Look around at the farm stands and see if we can find some nice fruit. I'm hoping for nice strawberries.  Other that that , Saturday Im doing some kitchen and bathroom scrubbing, closet cleaning, etc. Monday since its supposed to rain, Id like to go to a movie. Few good ones out and it would be a nice way to spend the day. May even fire up the grill in the yard to grill some chicken.  
    I am also going to remember those who served this land. The one that's in decline, The one that needs to pull together again and be great one more time. If those in power would pull their collective heads out of their asses. Stop kowtowing to others who come to this nation.  YOU all come here then expect us to live by YOUR rules. NO we should never allow this, YOU don't allow it if we come to your country, Personally I wouldn't expect you to. If I go to a country I am going to abide by their laws as I expect others to do the same.  I don't expect my country to allow you to demand your rules be followed. They are your rules, don't like it go back to your country, Its not racist, its logical! My great grandparent who came from Ireland and Italy came here to America and assimilated in the rules of their new country.  Those who didn't want to went back to their homeland.  Current people should do the same.  Again, not racist, its common sense.  That's the problem, people have none. Pisses me off, especially that if anyone has some they get voted down.  Oh well , let me get off this soapbox, I'm not used to being this tall and I'm getting dizzy  LMAO 
Rant over, breaktime over too.  So I will say Ciao for now peeps, Later  

Under The Knife Day

     Today has been a good, albeit, odd news day. It started with a pal over in England. He has some eye issues and now they found early stages of glaucoma. Then a dear friend there is having a hard time, poor dear. I do hope she can get the help she needs sooner than later.  So here stateside a friend of mine is having a hernia operation tomorrow. She's had one before but still is nervous and lastly my dear friends mother had a hysterectomy today. All went fine, and she is home already.  It's amazing. When I had mine I was in the hospital for a week. Medicine is something, before you know it, it will be like in sci-fi movies. All done without even cutting you open. Amazing. That's it peeps, okay? No one else. All in one day, is what made it interesting.
     I got to tell you, sometimes I feel totally invisible. I don't mind, being ignored sometimes, but when you are singled out ( or at least it feels like it) it does hurt a little. Nothing I'm holding on to, but for a split second it's a real feeling. Maybe not overly important but yeah.
     Tonight I'm looking at the calendar and it's only Tuesday. Waaaa lol. This weekend is going to drag, I can tell already. Come on Friday....so until next time peeps. Ciao for now

Getting Excited About A Salad

   Going to order from one of my favorite places today.  First I'm excited about ordering some lunch in. It's been awhile but I have nothing as we didn't get to the store for the week's groceries, hubs is going today.  This salad is "da bomb"   Its got grilled chicken, romaine and tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, avocados. Its very very good and I love it drizzled with balsamic.  I'll get two lunches out of it also which is a plus.  I know I'm a knob getting excited over salad.  
   The sun is out, whoot whoot, its supposed to be nice the next few days. It's about freakin' time! I'ts been so rainy and I love the rain but even I was hoping for some sun, at least on the weekends. 
I tellya, with all that's going on the lack of sunlight is not helping my moods. I'm having trouble sleeping also.  My Dr. said she will give me something to help and I'm going to take her up on that. I tried calling earlier but they are closed for lunch. 
    I'm ready to do some yard work this weekend. Little things, I'd love to buy some plants but I'll wait for the fall on that. So I will be be repainting the fairy statue I have, she's only about 8 inches tall and she's looking poorly. Her paint is faded, so it's time to give her a make over.  LOL The plant holder next to her needs to be de-mossed. Although it looks rather pretty that way.  I also am going to re-do the adirondack chair out front.  I want to spray paint it blue to match the house. It's also faded over time.  I am going to use rustoleam as it works well for outside furniture. It's a holiday weekend so I see a few cocktails in my future. Nothing fancy, some bourbon or rum & cokes.  Probably the latter. Hubs doesn't care for bourbon but he likes rum.  Nothing exciting going on really,. 
    I had two people send my the video of the woman in Texas who wore that Chewbacca mask.  She was so pleased and it made me laugh a lot. I tell you, it was nice seeing that much joy and you had to laugh along.  She was sweet. AND Kohl's, the store she bought it in gave her kids more Star Wars toys and more masks, and also gave her $2,500.in Kohls cash to use in the store. First good for her and second I think I may have to go shop at Kohls more. HAHA  I'm glad when nice things happen to nice people. 
    Well peeps I'm going to go for now.  Will she be back or not, I'm sure you all wont loose sleep over that questions.  :-D   Ciao for now 

It's Friday Bitches!!!

   It's gorgeous outside, figures as its supposed to rain all weekend, and I totally forgot that next weekend is a hols so I am off that Monday the 30th of May. It's a laid back here today, looking forward to the weekend.
     Looked at a website called CowCow, lots of chicks from the fatToo group on Facebook get dresses there.  Actually some pretty florals but getting big girl stuff from CowCow?  Hmmmm   have no cash anyway but its nice to window shop

    Well not much today peeps so ciao for now   Check you on Monday

I had No Lunch Yesterday...

 ... because we were all stuffing our faces with ice cream LOL   It went off well and as i type, in the freezer at work, there are 3 more containers of ice cream.  Lets do this thing again!!   NO!!! I had a waffle bowl with a nice scoop of neapolitan ice cream, a spoon of pineapple, a squeeze of chocolate syrup, a drizzle of marshmallow sauce, then a little whipped cream and not one but 2 cherries.  It was gorgeous, and I enjoyed it so much. I can't remeber the last time I had something like that.  But that was enough, and I didn't even have half of what was there. There were also brownies and crushed cookies and candies to put on the ice cream also. Some people were piling on the toppings and scoops of ice cream, bless them skinny people who can eat like a starving man.  I don't look on with envy I enjoyed seeing everyone laughing and chatting. Its so tense here lately and this was a much needed bit of fun for everyone.  So yes this was a success.
    Its quarter past 8 right now and I am enjoying a lovely cup of Illy coffee. My friend turned me onto it.  I have had this can awhile and when hubs get a job I will splurge and get another one.  So good! lol
    Feeling tired today, I took a bath last night, was all snuggled in, then had a rough sleeping night. I was planning on a quick follow up shower and a hair wash but the alarm came and went and I woke to hubs alarm at 7am, freaked out,no time to wash hair. Good thing I had that bath , was out the door at 7:25. Got to work at 7:37. Can I get a hell yeah for living close to work! LOL    Slow day so far, knock wood.  Its starting the vacation season here, its the norm until latter part of August.  Its thowback Thursday on Facebook today so here is a pic of myself along with two friends.  We were in Lancaster at the Julius Sturgis Pretzel factory.  We had a trailer trash weekend, literally stayed in a trailer home. We ate our way through Lancaster I swear. Not really but damn well felt that way.  HAHAHAHA It was a great 4 day weekend. I got to stay in the smallest room as I was the only one short enough  :-D  
Yes my hair was red and there was a lot of it!! LOL

So with that I will leave this for today, I may be back, you never know, so ciao for now peeps 

So It's Been a Year

    I went on Facebook this morning, didn't post anything to my page, but my memories came up.  Seems that it was a year ago I was in the hospital for blood clots in both my lungs. & Mad Men was having their final episode and it was 7 years ago that I got ink behind my left ear. I have often said I want to get that fixed. It needs something.  I am in no rush as it's not easily seen, unless I wear a headband or the wind is blowing my hair, LOL  ood stealth ink!  HAHAHA 
    Fast forward to today and it's a rainy Tuesday, how new and different! I say this tongue in cheek as it has been raining so much in the last 2 weeks. It's at the point where if there is a bit of sunshine, even those that don't smoke are going out for a break just to enjoy it.  Yesterday was gorgeous though. Hubs tamed the jungle that was our lawn, I had mentioned that their were these tall fronds that came up to my shoulder that needed to be cut. So he then says , okay so they are like what? 5 or 6 inches high. Cheeky monkey!!  My big excitement last night, was that on television, the show Castle ended it's 8 year run.  I am sorry to see it go. Someone on one of the fan boards online made a great point. They equated it to a book that you reached the last chapter to.  You hate to finish it, but you can always re-read it.  And so it lives on in reruns and of course we have almost all the seasons on DVD.  This Christmas hopefully we will get the remaining ones. I also hinted to hubs that I want the box set of Mad Men.  Amazon has it that you also get coasters and two hi-ball glasses. The ones like they used in the show (early 60's style, love them.!)
   They are having a huge 65% off sale at one of the stores I like (some even more % off), and I went online window shopping. Getting basic items, 2 pair of work slacks, 3 blouses and a pair of work appropriate sandals (they have a bit of bling on them so they look pretty) The total would have been over $275.00 full price, The total with shipping would be $103.78. I am so tempted. I don't get paid until next Friday.  I don't want to spend it on clothes. I have no right getting new things really when cash is so tight but I do need some things for work.  I don't care about leisure time clothes I can make do for now with what I have. I am keeping them in my cart for now. I'll visit them in a few days and it they still appeal to me by next week, maybe I'll bite the bullet.  Maybe!! 
    Tomorrow is the ice cream social, should be interesting. Other than that not much going on, Wedding this weekend, more on that next week.  So ciao for now peeps. 

There Were Some Good Laughs Today

    I must say,  had quite a few giggles today, and one was the result of herself. Yep, about half 9 this morning I see this bug flying over.  This was no little fly, this mother was huge.  And loud!   It was a very large yellow jacket.  The one guy says, no it's not a wasp, it's a yellowjacket. I'm like I love jazz. A few hot the reference, but the real giggle came when he asked if anyone had anything he could use as a fly swatter? Well, I realized I had the perfect item in the top drawer of my desk. I said yeah, I do. I take out a riding crop. Well it had a nice wide leather paddle. Lol. So I had it to him and he's like, oh Mama. What are you hiding from us? He proceeded to show it to a few people and everyone is laughing so hard.  I just smile and shrug.   He got it in one swat.  I said well now, you handle that really well.  He said you know it. He then starts to wipe it clean, then saying must make it clean, must make it shiny for madam. Lmao. He kneels down, lowers his head and offers it back to me.   I was crying. I mean you had to be there but it was hilarious and a nice change.   The second giggle happened after lunch.  Almost an hour goes by and not one call came in. We find out that the phones, when you call in, are saying the office is closed.  HA! So our manager calls out, guys no one told me. We all laugh, and a few say, why would we. He starts laughing, and says next time it happens would someone check? It was funny. I was on emails, so I was groovin to my tunes, for most of the day. So all in all a good day.
     Two friends are having birthdays this weekend. Wish I could be there to give each a hug and kiss. AND USE THE CROP FOR BIRTHDAY SPANKINGS. lmao. Seriously though, I love them both and hope this coming year brings them all they wish for.  They are dear, and deserve much happiness.   Hoping to get my cute ample ass up to NYC soon.  Speaking of ample ass, hehe. I've been trying to be good but damn, things get thrown at you.  More veg though has been helping, BUT, and it's a big but ( hahaha no pun intended, yeah tights! Snort). We are having an ice cream social at work. Guess who had to make the flyer?  Yep, turned out really well. Got some photos of ice cream socials, chose an old fashioned font, thought up cute wording.  They really liked it. Sent out the emails today.  Managers are supplying all the ice cream. We are being asked to bring the extras. Sofar we have waffle bowls & cones, rainbow sprinkles (that's me) caramel sauce, cherries, mini m&ms, mini chocolate chips, strawberry syrup.  Lots more to choose. Chocolate sprinkles, walnuts, marshmallow sauce, pineapple sauce, hot fudge, health bar pieces, gummy bears, whipped cream, etc.  oink oink. Lol
    Well that's it for today peeps, ciao for now.

Rainy Days and Mondays

So today was a home day. I think it's stress, but oh my intestines were not thrilled with me today.  So I took a sanity day.  Ha! I think a sanity millennia might be better.  But I slept, relaxed, actually meditated a little. Felt a bit better, but now I feel like shite again.  No pun intended. Hahaha The air feels stagnant. Hubs is being sweet, I want to feel better. He has an interview tomorrow and also on Wednesday. I don't want him to worry about me.

I'm not in the mood to write peeps. I'll be back in a few days.  Better than ever.  Lol so ciao for now

Pissed Off

     Just pissed off today. I need clothes and can't find anything I can even get.  I love my hubs but im getting a little resentful.  I hate to say that especially since he's been going on quite a few interviews.  Why is he not getting hired? It's a mystery. I've watched my credit go down the toilet. Thank the gods there are no more debaters prisons.
     Add on that I hate being fuckin ignored.  People who say they care and are friends, don't even bother to call. I'm making the calls or posts.  I have been there for every one of them when they cried to me or needed to vent. I see them commenting online but nothing on my pages. Not even a hi just thought I'd see how you are unless I make the first move. Im not asking for a two hour conversation. But when you talked and wrote and now you stopped yet you're still responding to others it makes one think  well then I've outlived my usefulness. Be honest with me.  This is not about any one person as there are quite a few who fall into this.  Problem is they won't see this. But at least I can vent. I'm not in a good mood, I miss my mom, I miss the fact that I couldn't be a mom.  Ack   I'm just frustrated in that this is a time I could use a few fun conversations. It a funny thought shared on a stupid social page.  Instead I feel cast away.   I just wish those people realize how it hurts to try and get nothing back.  Just going to stop trying.  Thing is I don't think they will care. I guess that's cool. More time for those that do care.  My emotions are high.  I'm on edge who knows what's going to be.
Going for a drive - that usually helps.  Ciao for now

Good Hump Day :-D

     Today has been a relatively quiet day so far, lunch time is here, but I've been working in the email queue today, which I love as I get to put on my Itunes and chill out to tunes. Today its been an 80's throwback, of course my Duran Duran but for a good 2 hours it was a ll Depeche Mode. I think they are second to Duran for me. The rest were all good (Yaz, Thompson Twins, Blondie, all other new wave bands, etc.) but they ruled high.  Other like Massive Attack and then then starting of rap like Run DMC, LL Cool J, were there too. And of course the classics, Eagles, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin (#1 in Rock for em) etc  HAHAHA  I like pretty much all music okay!?  LMAO  And while doing the email queue, you tend to get a groove going. Well being in said groove, I'm typing my heart out in this one reply and I go to proof read before sending it, and well damn if it didn't look like I was mimicking a section of James Joyce's book Ulysses. (if you read it you know what I mean , if you haven't - one word - PUNCTUATION! LOL )
   Hubs is waiting to hear back on some interviews he had and he has 2 more tomorrow, poor guy is trying so hard, something has to give. I think it will soon, just a feeling. 
 We have been invited to a wedding reception this month, casual affair as the couple are already married but this will be the party. They got married late last year so they could do their medical benefits as a married couple (it's cheaper for them) so I'm thinking of wearing the dress I wore to St. Helena's in England, or the one i bought at Torrid.   Its a early evening affair, I'm not sure.  i was told its dressy casual.  I leave it to you guys to help if you will.  Just pick A or B 

This is A 

AND NOW 

                                                                      This is B 
So I know the first pic of B is not a great pic but its got OSCAR the VIP looking at me (love that dog!) 

So thats all for today peeps, Ciao For Now 

Interesting one

   This morning I was at work ungodly early as I brought my car in for inspection, Its at the dealership and all done waiting for me to pick it up later today but since I was there so early one of my co-workers was there and he came over to say morning.  He sighed and I asked if he was okay? He mentioned that he recently broke up with his girlfriend. I knew this but I have good sense not to bring it up nor interrupt when I heard him talking to another person. Well he went over the entire tale and a few things he said hit home.  He has no clue why she she started acting differently towards her and he still loves her. He cares about her also as they have been friends for years but he said she has grown distant, not emailing or texting him back as much. I had to smile to myself. Now one thing is that the girl suffers from depression. I let him know that it is possible that since things were going so well she more or less ended it before it died on its own. Not that it would but she may feel she doesn't deserve to be treated so well and why her?  So many people feel that way whether they suffer from depression or not.  he did say that sounded right from what she said to him. I could see in his face how much he still cares for her and I felt so bad.  I did let him know that if he didn't do anything then don't try to find out what he may have done.  Its the worst feeling when you think that you did something wrong, you are not getting feedback to either prove this right or wrong. You just sit and think and over think the entire situation. He looked at me and said I hit the nail right on the head and how did I know.  I told him, been there did that (kind of )  but I also let him know stay close, be there if you can and in time she will hopefully tell him the real reason she is pulling back from him.  He has seen her with a guy 2x now (they live near each other). It may be that, may be something else. But she will tell him when she is ready. He just needs to know he is not crazy. he has lost some of his trust he said and he feels a little played, I can understand the feeling played a bit part but I know this girl and I don't think that's what she is doing.  I do know that I will lend him an ear, but I am not getting involved or giving any hard advice as they need to work this out together.  If they had a strong friendship, it will hold, it will be different but it can be just as awesome if they both want it. Hopefully they will. They may even get back together, it may be her depression, he said she has done this with other relationships. Its possible this is how it is, like I said, some folks just want to destroy things first before an outside force can do it to them. I wish them well.  I think he felt better after we spoke, he realizes that he is not crazy now for wondering what he did, so that made me feel good.
     Over the years I have felt like I did something wrong as I felt things changed in relationships and they had. BUT and its a big but (not quite as big as mine  lol) I knew our relationships were still strong,  just changed , and I just wanted to know what the fuck happened. I found out and its all good and even better in some ways. 
     Often times we overthink something and cause issues that aren't even there, I used to be the Queen of this  LMAO  No More. I know if I did wrong or right now, I tell folks strait on, and yes I still may call too much or email too much but that's my nature. I am not freaked out if i don't hear back right away anymore.  I chat with Sis and my closer friends often and that's fine enough. I recently spoke to a dear friend out of state, hadn't seen her but we connected right back and had a great chat.   It's like that, we all live our lives.  I'm much more secure in myself due to doubt of myself. Weird I know but it worked for me.  Mine life is topsey turvey right now, it will smooth out eventually.  Oh the party we will have!  HAHAHAHAHA
 Well I'm out  peeps as I used my half hour lunch break to write my blog so back to the grind . 
Ciao For Now 

Memories

     I was looking through mine and friend's pages and pictures on facebook, as I was on a  break and bored. LOL  It was so fun to see all the fun times and different looks, and how interesting at how much the men have aged yet us ladies look even younger! LMAO   

It was nice, brought back nice memories and lots of laughs.  I think that's why I like photos so much. I know lots don't, my hubs included,  I do though for just this reason. 

     Not much going on my friends but just wanted to say hello, hope your having a good Monday.

I'll be back soon, ciao for now