I'm going for it

I'm getting my hair cut short!! My hair is not in the best shape, my hairdresser said red is hard to take out, but I told her to go for it. So now the middle and ends of my hair are shot. I want my natural grey white to grow out so I can tint it funky shades and not actually dye it. So even with high end conditioners my hair is not feeling how I want. It's white, I look like a Malfoy and I can rock it but it's annoying me. I'm not working so as long as it looks styled I don't care if it's a pixie style. I've had them, I actually look good in them and it will give me motivation to keep losing my double chin. Lol . I made my choice HEAR YE HEAR YE LADY MARY SHALL CUT HER LOCKS.  Too much? 😂😂 So I'm calling my hairdresser and making the arrangements. I'm not worried, I can rock it as I've got the right 'tude for it.  I'm stressed as to where unless you're going through it you have no clue. So I gave a bit of a fuck off edgeness to me. I love my friend family, you know who you are, but people who don't know me, you're going to get what you give with an added slick sarcasm on top . Ie: call me an ass, that will be Queen ass minon!
I worry every night if I'm doing this right, making sure Dad's needs are met and also making sure hubby's needs are met. I have doubts about me being a caregiver, but then I have moments where I know I shine. So worrying about my hair is on thing I don't need.  May sound odd to you but it's a lot to me.  So yep short hair for me. Maybe I'll blow some pixie dust your fucking way
Ciao for now peeps 😊

Me and my thoughts

This is often a scary time, my mind wanders and if you know me there's no telling where it will go.  It's now 11pm and I've been in the living room and alone since 8. Dad always goes to bed at about 7:45 and hubs went into the bedroom to read about 8:15, so it's been my and HGTV for a few hours. I also have my phone so I surf too. Cat came out to join me, but she's asleep and not in a talking mood. Lol
So I'm just looking around the apartment just thinking of little odds n ends I want to get .Not need to get, as I've got my basics. This weekend I'll be hanging some pics I got. 
Tonight Dad asked me to tuck him in when he went to bed, hmm this is new. So I did and he's all I love you, so I reassured him, we love him too and he's safe and doesn't have anything to be afraid of.
A picture of him from just 4 years ago, he was living on his own and had a lady friend. Time moves on.
So today I cut all my nails off, super short claws now. I gave myself a manicure with hot coconut oil on my cuticles. I am doing the home pampering, hell I gave the time  😃
I'm not feeling great, it's ongoing now for a few weeks, underlying grunge. Hubby had it and it's going back and forth. I'm not as bad as he got though. Slight fever for me but he had a really high one for a few days. I also had a flu shot so who knows.
You know I had more to write about but all of a sudden I'm tired . So I'm heading to bed. Ciao for now and muah

Monday morning 2AM

And so it began, hubs went to bed early since he still has the remnants of the flu that hit him hard last week, but it seems to be leaving him quickly also thankfully. I have the cough and slight chills at night mainly. But I got a flu shot so I'm okay, so is Dad.  Speaking of Dad, he called out about 2 am, so I got up, (we have a baby monitor for just this reason), and found him standing up in his room and he asked me if he could go inside. Inside where??? I explained that we are inside, we're in his room and he was very confused.  So I got him to realize that he's safe and in our home. Also that it's raining out and if he was outside he'd be soaking wet. He needed to use the urinal that we keep on his bedside table, so while he did that, I went and got him a Gatorade Zero (no sugar) to help replenish his liquids. He's not as bad as last time, he knows me, remembers I promised to give him a haircut and shave today but he keeps thinking he's outside for some unknown reason. So fast forward to about 3:30, he's up again, still thinking he's outside, when he realizes he's inside he wants to get up and go into the living room. I explain that he'll be alone out there, so he lays down again. Of course Hubby is up by this time, he comes to dads room. Helps my dad get into bed and tucks him in.  He gave me a huge hug and kiss and a look that says I'm so sorry, so I nod then he squeezed by boob. He makes me laugh. I'm reading my book and here we are at 4:15 am, Dads up yet again, I need to call the doctor in the morning to see if I can get a gentle sleeping pill to make him drowsy, nothing strong. Again we go over the fact he's already in the house. That he's safe and that he's loved. He keeps apologizing for keeping me up. Sigh, I settle back and hubs comes in with a cup of tea. God I do love that man! I am worried about my dad, I really wish I could see inside his mind. I mean, I can cook for him, keep him warm, clean and talk with him, listen to music and play name that tune with him, but when he leaves and goes into his own little space I don't know what to do. First time it happened I freaked out, now I'm much calmer. Meaning I don't raise my voice with worry, I keep my voice steady and low. I know what to ask to gauge the extent of his disconnect. Right now, thankfully he's 98% here. He knows me, knows hubs, just that teeny part that's not comprehending his being in the house.  Ugh, I can hear hubs coughing, poor dear, he needs to get up in an hour to go to work. He barely got any sleep tonight. I'm able to nap if need be later today, although I'll be watching my dad like a hawk. I know this is my life now, I know I don't want my dad in a nursing home, but I'm afraid if his mind goes it may come to that. That scares the shit out of me, how will I know if he's okay, what if he gets scared? They won't sit in his room with him all night making sure he knows he's not alone. I know it's selfish but if it looks like it will come to that, I'm going to pray real hard that he pass to go be with my mom again. He deserves peace, not turmoil. Oh man hubs is coughing up a storm. I swear I don't know if I'm coming or going sometimes between them. Here's little ole me in the middle just trying to get a handle on what life has become.
Weird blog I know, nothing cute nothing funny, just my night in a nutshell. I just needed to get it off my chest. Well it's now 5:06 am and I promise a more upbeat and groovy blog next time. And until then, ciao for now

TGIF. (toes go in first)

When a dear friend of mines son was learning how to put his shoes on, she used to say that to him.  Lol It was cute and he remembered it. 
So lovelies, it is Friday, my right hip is a bit sure from sleeping on the sofa last night. It's actually a long loveseat. (It fits 3 across - lots of love hehe) Reason was the hubs has the flu. His temperature was 102.8 then down to 100 now this morning it's back up to 101 something. I've got a slight runny nose and cough but no fever or body aches. Perfect example, I got a flu shot, he didn't. Needless to say I've been playing nurse and eating little. What I do eat is crap which is why I'm craving a soft boiled egg I suppose.
Looking out my window, I could be looking out onto the Moors. I like it. It's the kind of day where you pour your tea and get comfy in a chair with a good book.
I'm trying to maintain a sense of calm, for my health and for the protection of those around me.  It's just that life is finally starting to develop into a flow that's pleasant, instead if a flow that resembles a lesser tsunami. For this I'm very grateful. It's nice not having to decide if you want to pick up the phone or not, because it may be a debt collector.  I'm not greedy,call I really ever wanted was to have no bills, and to just be able to start with a clean slate.  It's a wonderful feeling. 20 years coming but here it is. It helps you to make choices in other matters. So if I was to wish you well, I wish this feeling, I wish you no burdens on your shoulder.
We know that's truly never going to happen because life is balance. Light/dark, day/night, good/bad. I'd be stupid to think I'll never have issues or bad times but I'm more prepared to face them.
A blog of nothing today, much like Seinfeld's show when Jerry & George were promoting a tv show about nothing. Lol
I really just want to get back into writing my blogs. But for now, I'm going to go mix up some pancake batter as Da requested pancakes for breakfast today. The man can eat!! I'm happy about that, but I wonder if they make adult bibs.  Instead of duckies or bunnies on them, maybe pin up gals or cars for men, and buff firemen and vacation scenes for women. Ha, I think I may have it on something here.  Hmmmmm 😁
Okay then, I'm off, so until next time....Ciao for now.

Well Happy New Year (a month late shhhh don't tell)

Here we are, the 5th of February, it reached a rather balmy 67°F today. Don't thay beat the tits!! I'm not ready for the beautiful weather just yet. I need new bras. Little secret, when you don't have to work or wear a bra it's Fab to be able to put on a coat and hide the fact you're not wearing one, but in warmer weather, you need to wear that sucker. Well maybe you don't but I don't care for my nips to be scraping pavement. So I found some way in the back of my closet. They were lovingly hand washed and now hanging back in my closet in a much more noticable spot. All ready for operation Mary. Yes you read that right. Taking care if my dad these past 7 months has taught me a great deal. About what's needed, what's wanted and the duffediffe between them. As humans our needs are basic. Food, water, air, take them in and expel each as our bodies are made to do. I've been focused on the needs of my dad. I make sure he eats well, gets rest and know he's loved.  This is going well aside for a few fubar moments. Myself, I've not really paid attention to. So much outside stress to deal with. Not working put a financial strain on the household but we got through it, with great juggling accounts acts and the help if family and a dear friend who is family truly. So here now I find myself breathing a little easier. The NYC house is sold. There is a little money to ease all the calls from creditors looking to be paid and a few perks. Some reasonable if not modest new furnishings, a car now paid off, and 2 new purses, that's it. But for me the change I've decided on is to not color my hair anymore. Well not blonde or red, it brunette for that matter. I'm dying it grey, yep, this way it can grow out and my grey will blend. It will probably have a slight mauve/lavender tint to it. That plus a rocking cool haircut and I'm revived. I'm not hiding me, I'm learning to embrace who I am. I've been pretty in touch with myself over the years but this is the total no bullshit me.  I'm at the point of I don't give a fuck if you like me it not. I'm going to like me. I have close friends I know love me. Gone are the days I need to speak with them constantly, I'm content in knowing they are there, and I'm there should they need me.  So Saturday I'm back to my roots, figuratively and actually 😂
I'm making my home a place where all are welcome, I sick of drama. Been there, done that. I'm a nice person. 
Which brings me to something that's been on my mind. I wonder if I'm any kind of special.  Im not sure in what manner I mean. I can sing quite well when I want, I can cook and damn I can bake!! Oh yeah, I'm a good driver too but am I special in any way.  I need more time to ponder this. Maybe this is my Sidartha time, trying to find the real me.  It's such a selfish thought yet so unselfish at the same time.  Yep that sounds like me, a total dichotomy. Two totally different mindsets constantly pulling at each other.  A modern gal, doing her own thing yet quite old fashioned in her way of tastes and needs. Libra was the perfect astrological sign for me. So how to bring the two sides together in harmony, that is the question. I'll figure it out .  Don't get me wrong, I'm no Sybil, I don't have 20 different people living in my head. Lol But the mind of a soul filled with wanderlust can feel that way I suppose. 
Where is this blog going? Who the fuck knows, who cares? Im just awake and can't seem to sleep, so my mind is spewing out psuedo intellectual queries. I'm quite interesting to talk with, I love getting into deep conversations about life, love and the universe while the Grateful Dead are playing in the background.  Right now I'm listening to them on my headphones, so I don't wake my sleeping hubby. I'm sitting naked on my bed, I just ate a small piece of naan that was left from dinner, and drinking a low sugar Gatorade. Groovy baby. So when I wondered if I was special the answer at this moment might be yes special ED!! I'm perfectly sober yet I feel high AF. Why????  Maybe I should get under the covers and try to sleep.   Oh I lost 14 pounds for the month of January. Hope to do as well this month. Remember why I originally started this blog? Still doing it but now it's going to just be part if my life, not the entire life.  So if you've read this far, all I can say is, are you bored or something? Go to sleep. Hehe .Until next time. Ciao for now

Let's Get Real For Several Moments

Okay this weight thing has really taken a nose dive since my Dad moved in. He has to have a sweet every night, I don't want him eating crap so I bake. It's here and I eat it. I'm so stressed out that I don't care. I'm just now re-starting to somewhat care a miniscule amount. Let me be fully Frank. I love my father with all my heart, and I don't want him anywhere but with me. But in doing so I've lost me! I was getting a bit stagnant but now, I'm downright petrified. Metaphorically and literally. I miss human interaction, nothing new happens anymore. I miss work, different things happening each day. I don't care sometimes if I forget to take a shower, no one sees me. Going to the grocery c store for a few hours is like a fucking vacation. Maybe if I had had children I'd be better at this. I make no contribution to the day. Hubs goes to work at least, gets out.  I know I'm lucky that my dad needs minimal care, we're not at adukt diapers yet and he is still decently active. But every day I notice tiny things. He's getting forgetful, not his usual, this is more short-term. I have been reading online blogs to see what I should look for. He can barely see, he needs to see a spdcspecia we've been told but he's stubborn and refuses to get any surgery even if it helps him . My day is this, take hubby to work, get home make coffee, call dad, prepare breakfadt. He's a good eater luckily. Do the dishes or add them to prior nights dishwasher if not run already. Then straighten up the house. Laundry if need be. He wants me to stay near him, get him more coffee. He hates being alone so I sit with him but he doesn't know what to talk about. We talk about the NY Yankees and he will ask every day are there bills or do I need to go to the bank. Then he wants to know our bills. I keep explaining he has only 2 bills and I pay them online. He's like what about electric, etc. I tell him he doesn't have those bills anymore. Then an hour goes by and he'll ask again. I get it , not only forgetfulness but boredom as well.  Boy do I get it .I do my best to create conversations. We do walk, then he stays out a little while.
I make lunch, he eats the same thing, dinner I have to think of what he can chew. I make food for him which has carbs. I never met a carb I didn't like so I eat that too.
I'm venting so go ahead and go if you want, I'm on a roll .ha another carb. Lol
I just feel like I should do more, I just don't know what! I need a haircut, I need to moisturize.
At least the house is sold but before that I need some extra cash and I have no idea how to get it. I stopped wirwork to take care of Dad. We have an apt that brings up very little throw away cash. November can't cone cone enough, I'm getting physically sick due to stress and worry. I feel very alone. Stupid I know but I can't think of any night within the last month I haven't cried before going to bed. For someone who didn't look their age I now look 10x worse.
I hate when he talks about his death benefits, I don't want to think about it. I'm very aware of it. I get short tempered and instantly feel bad.
I'm a fucking mess, and I know my friends think of me but I'm not fun right now. I hope to be again. I'm so stressed I really don't know what to do. I feel stupid and selfish I know there are people way worse off than myself but I feel those tears come at night. I love him so much I don't want him to want for anything. I'm very lucky that my husband is there he tries to comfort me, give me time alone on the weekends. I adore him for it.
I'm fucked up right now, I need to find my way back. I will, but when at what cost. Unless you've experienced it this makes no sense but I needed to vent.
Ciao for now

So He Fell

Yesterday was not the best day. My back, which I pulled in the move, was starting to feel better but yesterday morning I heard a thud. Dad fell in the bathroom. I have no idea how, but I ran in and he was on the floor. So it took 10 minutes to get him up. Did a check, all was fine, no bruises. So the rest of the day went as usual. Today was better.
I can't go crying to people, it's my deal. I don't mind but I am already so tired. Hopefully it will get better.
I just have little mini crying fits. Nothing more than stress relief but still it's hard. 
This morning I was up and out to the grocery store and was home before hubby left for work. So I made a cup of tea and just sat on the patio and watched the sun cone up. It was a brief moment of peace. If you asked me what is it that's making you tired, I really have no distinct answer. It's just the day. I'm venting here so I don't burden my friends. They got their own shit going on.
It's only 9:45pm and I feel like it's 3 in the morning. I'm just tired. Lol
Take care peeps, ciao for now.

1am At Least They Are Sleeping

Of course im referring to my hubby and my father.
I will admit, taking care of my dad is no picinic. I'm not saying, it's hard. That's not the right word. It's frustrating. I love him dearly, even knowing what I know now, I would still do this BUT it's not what I envisioned. I really was not sure what to expect. I did not expect to find that my Dad can barely see. He kept thus hidden in a home he had for 55 years. Of course he knew it like the back of his hand. But here, it's blatantly obvious.  This makes me beyond sad. I can't even imagine how he's feeling.  He keeps reaching out for my hand when I'm sitting with him.  Says he's glad his girl is there for him. Of course I am.  He keeps saying he's not sure where he'd be if it weren't for me and my hubs. Oh my hubby is so sweet and gentle with him. It's beautiful to watch them.
My dad knows that he will never be alone. For as long as he walks this Earth, he will be cared for.
 Tonight I heard him yell out on the baby monitor so I went to look. Must have been a bad dream. So I sat in the chair and watched him sleep. He was restless, I heard him mutter gid help me. He's not happy with his situation I know that but he is against books on tape.  I'm not sure why.
Look, we got him a nice comfy chair, some new clothes, I feed him what he enjoys but IT'S NOT ENOUGH!  I want to do more. This man kept me safe growing up, he worked hard and took care of us. I should be able to take away any fears he has, any issues I want to fix. But it's hard. I'm never going to stop so every night I ask the Goddess for strength so I can do right for him.
I'm tired and frustrated yes but when I tell him I love him and I see him smile, it's worth it. I just hope I am doing it right

I should be sleeping

Operative word there is should! Can't sleep, too much on my mind.  Long story short, my Father's brother died and my dad is the last family member , all his siblings, his parents and his wife are gone. Not to mention all his friends. Guess it's not going to be that short....well my dad is 90, he is not doing as well as he was even a month ago. My neighbor called tonight to say my dad fell and hurt his hand. Finger was banged up. He's fallen before apparently. He won't tell me anything so my neighbor keeps me informed. Well neighbor clean him up, took care of his hand. Other night had to help him shave. I'm his daughter, I should be doing this. I'm 5 states away, sucks!!! At least he realizes he will need to live with us. I just hope he stays around for it to happen.  I'm not as sad at the thought of his time coming to an end. He's had a good life, done lots if great things. I just don't want him to be in pain or alone. It worse in pain and alone. When his time comes, may it be a long time coming but when it does. I must be there with him .he was always there for me and now it's time for me to be there for him. So instead of sleeping, I'm thinking about selling houses, getting bigger place, making sure he's happy.  I love him so much it breaks my heart to think he struggles with anything.  I hate not being there.

Almost Autumn

     So my peeps, this blog will be a two-parter. First and foremost the harder of the two. I found out over the weekend that a school friend from long ago was shot and killed. All they know is that a neighbor called him over to his car and then shot him when he was there. In front of his wife no less. Why? No clue, the man is not talking. I did find out my old school friend was the president of the Home Owners Association. Perhaps the guy was mad at the HOA , there is an ongoing investigation. I texted with him about 2 years ago, so it's been a long time. We were not close but I went to school with him, his family I need a local bar that was active in the community. It's just a damn shame.
    So as tragic as that was (is), the rest if this blog has to do with something near and dear my heart.  AUTUMN it Fall if you prefer. It's starting to get darker earlier and there's a sense of the Autumn season in the air. I went for a drive today since I was offered and the trees on the highway are just starting to change color. I saw a sign for hard cider, alas the store was closed. Lol
     We have lots of places to get it once the season goes full swing. I also noticed that less people are out at 7pm than before. It's like our basic instincts are kicking in. That primal body clock that tells us the season to start staying close to home us not too far away. For me personally, thus is when I start to wake. The cooler air (soon please) makes me more energetic. I may start wearing make up more and oh yes, sweaters and boots. Love them. I also feel a pull towards making the house more cozy. Interesting time though as in about 2 weeks we move into the apartment, so we can fix the house. We are going slow.  Going to order the bed and mattress next weekend, bringing kitchenware with us from the house. New litter box for the cat. Tray tables and a chair from ikea.  We will bring in things from the house in stages. We need a sleep couch. Found a cool futon at Wayfair. It's very mid century looking. Sleek looking in a cool grey. The headboard on the bed is also grey. The cat is also grey so this works well.  And it's neutral so we can bring in some cool splashes if color. I asked and we can walmount the television and even paint if we want. She said they repaint before a new person moved in so at least the paint will be fresh. There is recessed lighting throughout the place but I know me. I will get lamps eventually, as I prefer the look of a room lit with lamps. It will come together. And then if we stay, we're set if not all the new stuff will go into our updated and fixed house. So either way this year and most if 2018, will be a positive move forward.
Tomorrow is my mother in law's birthday, she would have been 93, and my mom is the day after, she would have been 92. I always was amused that hubby's mom was a year and a day older than my mom.  Lol
     Well it's time to wash my face and get ready for bed. Cup if tea I think first. So take care and ciao for now
   

Just Been Crazy Busy

Hey all, it's been crazy these last few weeks. Work is Uber busy which is good but my phone reception at work really sucks ass!! So going forward, the apartment is all approved and we move in on Oct 1. This way we can get the house to where we want and still not sure if we will keep it or sell it. Hubs birthday came and went and although funds are tight we went out for a modest meal and had a lovely evening. Not much to tell, yet so much. Lol. Not going to bore you all. So those who know my number, ring me. I've called a few times but peeps are busy so I don't want to pester anyone.
     Back feels better but then I had a lovely lady issue that had me going for cranberry pills. All back to normal now.
     I'm sure I'll have lots more stuff to write about once we move. Untill then, ciao for now.

Ye Gods! LOL

Left my phone at the hotel today, had a bit of a meltdown last night with all that's going on, and I'm getting sick!  Other than that, work is good, days are warm, and my Dad is good, so lots to smile about  :-D

Where Does The Time Go

   its been almost 3 weeks since I started my training at the new job. Its coming together quite well, I am getting kudos from my manager and co worker Ricardo :-D  The people here are very nice and it seems like its going to be a good fit.  Funny though, I got an email from the animal hospital about the job I wanted there that they had a part time position if I wanted it. I said TY but no TY. I need a full time position as well as I am now working.  I knew they liked me at the interview  LOL
Did just get a new very cool solar keyboard with a USB cordless mouse, love it. After the hand me downs at the last job this is a real treat. As is the foot rest and new leather chair for my ample tushy.  HAHAHAHA

     So we are still without water and this weekend we are headed to the hotel again.   We will stay Sunday and check out on Tuesday. My 2 days off so I can at least cook and do laundry without running all over the place, plus I am so going to take a bath. I mean we are washing and I have gone to the gym to shower but its so nice to shower in your own room, and well I just want my house back to normal.  I need to be patient and it will be cool to hang out just relaxing on Monday as hubs will be at work all day and it will feel like I'm on a vaca  KIND OF.  He's been so great at cleaning the basement, its a mess and we are finding more and more things ruined. The store room that we spent time fixing lost everything on the bottom two shelves. Mainly Christmas decorations but luckily nothing old. I have my mom's ornaments packed in my bedroom closet.
     So Sis sent me some awesome beach pics the other night and I really miss the ocean, I need to hear the waves soon. Not sure when I will get to NYC though as we need to take care of the house first.  Plus hubs birthday is in Sept, then our anniversary then Sis and I both have Oct. birthdays.  I'd like to see her for that. I've got a lot on  my mind and I need to be a bit selfish. One of m y friends, we've known each other a long time and its like trying to pull teeth to get him to contact me. When we do get together its great and I care for him a lot but he is busy and I've decided that people know me, they know I love them if we are that close so I'm going to give them all their space. Being in a different state than my friends makes it hard to get to see them all also. Sigh......
     So its a different day than when I started this blog  LOL so I need to start my work day. Ciao for now peeps

Yep I'm Still Here

      Sunday night and we are still at the hotel. I will be checking out tomorrow.though. Should be interesting. I took a shower before and I will take one right before I leave tomorrow. I will be showering at the gym. Its going to be a bit difficult but we cant afford to keep staying at the hotel. I mean if I had been working for awhile but the account is getting low and we do have bills that dont care about the other troubles. lol   Hey at least the air condition is working, we were concerned about that.
     I just feel weird, cant explain it. Work is going well methinks. Saturday went well.  All in all things other than running water are good. Still............ :-D

All Things Considered I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia

    Well maybe not Philly but I do like PA. Its been a crazy 5 days. The flood is still the priority in our lives. So at least not the actual measurable water is gone but the rug and everything is saturated now. I mean things were floating , I half expected to see IT down there (We all float down here LMAO)
My rocking chair was brought upstairs early on and it can be repaired. The only real damaged aside from the rig is my computer and all my stamps, watercolors and papers.  Luckily my colored pencils and my newer stamps are not on blocks and all can be saved. Just need to be cleaned.  My computer CPU was about half covered and is beyond help. I have not used it in over 10 years so anything on there was already backed up to my external drive.  There are a couple of stories and some older pics I did lose but oh well. All things considered its not as bad a loss as could have been.  Hubs did lose a set of his anime series.  The box anyway, the discs of course can be cleaned.
     Im on my lunch break at the moment and Im feeling more comfortable at this new job. Except that I get frustrated when I don't know what I'm doing. They tell me not to worry as its all new but I hate not knowing something.  I mean I was at CSC for almost 10 years and knew the systems like the back of my hand. I will get this and by next month Im sue it will be familiar to me. :-D
   Little by little Im Maryifying my desk  LOL   The tech guy is getting me the codless keyboard and mouse I asked for and he said he was trying to get the mouse in pink for me. Hes a nice man  And yes of course I brought my mug and some tea and I got a new addition for the ledge I have  I got him at Walmart for only $5.00  LOOK

Okay  lunch is over   I just wanted to say hi and fill ya in on my life or as I call it I can dig hotel life  HAHAHAHAHAHA

Lets Catch Up

So I am writing this from my hotel room. No I'm not on vacation.    Lets start with I have now finished my first week of training at the new job. I like it, its very interesting. The people are really nice and its something like I've never done. I mean talking with people are fine. I can that do that in my sleep.  Its the lab work and familiarizing myself with the lab tests and results. I'm really enjoying it. In a few weeks I get to go to pathology to lean how they process labs drawn.  Only thing is I'm not supposed to wear open toe shoes. I have been wearing grey woven sneakers and they are fine but today I went to Walmart and bought a cheap pair of black ballet flats. I also bought 2 blouses and a pair of capris. The prices are great, no wonder the fatties love it. This one now does too.  I mean its not posh but they are very nice and I need to watch my pennies  which brings me to the reason I am at a hotel.  Somewhere in the basement a pipe burst and we ended up having a swimming pool in our basement. So hubs had to turn off the water on Friday morning so that evening we went to the hotel. So he went back today and the water has GONE UP about an inch. The water was turned off!! How did it rise?? So hubs called me to have me call the water department and shut the main valve off. Its at street level, so they came this afternoon.  The water is NOW TOTALLY OFF!! We have to call back once all is fixed. We were supposed to check out of the hotel tomorrow but now we are staying at least until this coming Friday. Good thing I get paid on that Friday we will need it. Luckily the hotel is letting us stay at the cheaper rate for the length of our stay. Huge help.. So with the good news came the bad.  I verified that we do not need to call our homeowners association as they really don't give a damn what goes on inside the house as long as you stay within their paint choices and fix everything they tell you to do on the outside of the house. They are useless parasites!
     I am now cooking dinner as hubs is at the house with the cat. We were thinking of bringing her but it didn't make sense to upset her as the door to the basement is closed anyway now. She would be more traumatized by the cat carrier. At least hubs was able to take off some days from work. I obviously cannot. I tell ya, not a happy bunny. Here's hoping for a lottery win  LOL

Huzzah Huzzah!!!

     I GOT A JOB!! I am so happy. It took almost 4 months but last time it took over 10 so I'm ahead by 6 LOL.  Its time for some uber positive changes. I have been going through closets and I found my Adidas pink stripe shelltops. I thought they were lost but no, somehow they got shoved into the back of the closet. I didnt do it and I know the cat didn't do it. I'm not even going to mention it though, long past the time frame and why start a squabble. I washed them and they look good as new.  Yay  But I'm also going through clothes. All my winter stuff is too big, so I will be donating that. Job timing is great since I will need some new things. AND another yay is that it is business casual, same as my last job. I have dresses but I was thinking I would need to purchase more or at least a few skirts.  But I'm fine with what I have for now. WHEW!!!
    Heading to Dads in NYC, want to spend some time with him before I start work. Going to leave early so I can spend the entire day plus a few more with him.
     Trip was so swift and enjoyable. Leaving at 3am will do that.  I saw a beautiful sunrise and even New Jersey looked good at that moment. Brought him some bagels as a surprise.
     I did wander over to Amazons website and picked up a shelving unit.  It was very inexpensive but the reviews are good. So it will be shipped here tomorrow and guess what ill be doing then. I'll take a few snaps when they are assembled. I should probably take a video of my trying to assemble them. THAT will be funny HAHAHA
I also really dyed my hair red again' my hairdresser will give me highlights and a much needed haircut. When I get home to VA, I'll trim my bangs at least.  Lol
Well......fast forward
I am home in VA, it's now past midnight and we are into Sunday. I should be asleep as it has been a very long day. Got up early at dads, did a load of laundry and did a light cleaning in the kitchen. Counters and microwave. Ooh boy did it need it. Dad doesn't really cook, but he uses that microwave.  Lol
     So yes I cleaned my bedroom and put up the shelving unit. The room looks so good. I was able to uncluttered the desk and it made a huge difference. I wish I could take a pic but my phone died. Oh I was so upset Thursday night. I was on the computer with tech chat for an hour trying to bypass, reboot and more trying to get it to work.  But no, so my replacement phone should be arriving Monday.   Hubs bless him was going to switch my SIM card with his do I can use his phone but we'd have to reconfigure his phone. I told him, don't as I can go another few days.
Oh yes, just to let you all know, the shelves I bought, were the easiest in the world to assemble. It took me longer to get the box open. Hahaha
     I loved seeing my dad, but he's sliding down, he said the house is getting to him. It's a lot for him. He tries but he doesn't have the strength in his hands like he used to. I felt a deep pang in my heart when we discussed this. For him to mention it, it means it's very real. One thing for us to discuss, what will be within the next year. Of course he can live with us here in VA. That's a given, but we need to talk more when this starts to really be thought about. Next few months maybe. He is so excited I'm going to be working, he made me promise to call him Monday night to tell him all about it. Of course I will :-D
     Tomorrow, er later today I need to get a few bits. I need a lunch bag to bring my food. I need to cook and prepare my food for packing in said lunch bag.  I had noticed the office has a nice size kitchen, stocked with coffe, tea, microwave and fridge. Good good. I'm looking forward to this as it is customer service but one I've never done. I will be speaking with doctors offices and patients about test results or adding different tests to a requisition already placed. So it's lots of medical terminology, which is fine with me.  People all seemed great and when I went for my interview I had noticed a pink beach cruiser bicycle , you know the ones with the comfy seats and larger wider tires just sitting in the corner. No one knew who it belonged to as it's always just " been there"!  How could I not work there, I may have to take it around the office once or twice lmao.
     Yes I know I'm jumping all around in this blog, do keep up.
     I really should go to sleep, but my thoughts and the cold brew coffee I drank tonight won't let me.
I'm going to try though, although my cat has settled in bed between my pillows and hubs' pillows and I don't want to wake her. I know, she's a cat! But she looks so cute. Lol.  Okay kitty, I'm going to try and get comfy.   And with that I say ciao for now

It Was A Nice Surprise

So hubs comes home Friday and tells me he got an overnight booking at a hotel that the company he works for is letting him use. Seems it was booked and the rep couldn't make it and he won the drawing they all took part in. Whoot whoot. So Saturday morning we packed our overnight cases and had a little get a way. It was very cute. A room that a traveling rep could stay in and cook as it had a full kitchen. Yes I went to buy groceries to cook dinner. I'm dieting so I didn't want to eat out.
     It really was nice, big tub so I took full advantage. I always keep bath items in NY overnight case, so I had a nice long soak. Groomed up so I was nice and smooth all over and washed and conditioned my hair and gave myself and hubs facials.  Only thing was the TV remote was dead. Hubs looked at something in the back of the TV then he was able to control it on his old Samsung phone. For some reason he brought it. He uses it as a reader.
     I had a hard time getting into bed. It was really high. I kind of rolled into it as hubs was laughing.
     I think he enjoyed the scenery change as he was acting like a man who took 2x the amount of Viagra as he should. I'm not complaining mind you, but it took me by surprise. He stayed the course all day too.  I felt like we were back on our honeymoon. Don't know what hit him this weekend but.... Yay!! Lmao
     I'm not tired for some reason. I should be, I was up at 7, it's half midnight, but nope, wide awake.  Planned my food for the week. I have this protein powder I was introduced to by Sis, I made it like a smoothie with blueberries, didn't cut it. So tomorrow I am doing it again with strawberries. Nothing earth shattering for you all, just a comment from me. Hope it works this time.
     I wrote a poem this evening and I'll post it maybe tomorrow. Not sure if I want to bore you all with it. Lol
     So I'm going to say ciao for now. Just popping in to say hello.  Love & light.
   

Well it's July, Onto The Second Half Of The Year

     So peeps my days have been spent looking for work, eating healthy and looking for work.  I'm so fookin exciting, can you just imagine.  LMAO
     Well that's not all exactly. I was almost scammed in my job inquieries, didn't luckily, as I hold true that if something is too good to be true it normally isn't. It really irks me that they prey on people who are desperate to work.  I'm anxious to get work, but I'm watchful. It does suck that you want something so much you will at times lower your guard, but it makes you realize you must always keep your guard up. There are few people I trust completely, those that I do, well I'd take a bullet for them. Not to sound dramatic (too late lol) but I mean that.  We all have shit going on, things that we don't tell anyone, but I hope these few know they can tell me anything and I fully understand them if not. As I trust them and know they know I'm here if they want to share.
     I'm busy writing poems again, also getting to know our neighbors. They are around the same age as us and very cool.  Had a nice chat with the wife on my front deck the other day.  I felt so neighborly, I almost wanted to bake them a pie.  I certainly have enough blueberries. Ooh I got a great deal on low sodium albacore tuna. Only $1.50 a can. Perfect for one meal.  I am now the owner of 10 cans.  Hahaha.  Don't be surprised if one day I post a poem about tuna and blueberries and how some blueberries fell into the sea and got eaten by the tuna. You know some romantic blueberry shite. :-D
     I tell you I've been looking at all the prom photos of my friends children. Well they are not children anymore, they all look so grown up.  Such beautiful gowns.  I mean I was trendy with the styles of the day, my gown was made, so why I got sleeves I have no idea. And powder blue!!! What the hell was I thinking??? My boyfriend had a matching tux.  The funniest thing was we were headed up to the ballroom, the prom was at the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan NY, and a classmate and his date get on the elevator and he is wearing the exact same tuxedo! I can't begin to tell you how amused we were. So no one said anything until he speaks up saying, "at least we're not wearing the same dress." That did it and we lost it, we laughed so hard. We limoed around the city until we got back home at 4am. I hope all these kids had fun. It's an everlasting memory.
     Not much going on, been busy with things that make me smile, hoping my friends are doing well, missing people, losing weight, washing my car, and cleaning out the store room. Still!  Yes I know but it's half the house in width and about 3/4 the distance. If we could put a window in it we'd have a 4th bedroom. I've been window shopping on Watfair.com.  I'm all ready for my lottery win now so I can purchase the items I've saved to boards I've made.
     Kitty is curled next to me on the couch, snoring of course :-D it's gorgeous out and little Mary Sunshine is trudging forward. It's like we have to have hard times so we can appreciate the good. We have to get our head on straight, but when so many answers are appealing how do you choose.  It's like the color blue,so many wonderful shades, BUT , if it's up against another color or detail in a room it can lose it's charm, although the blue itself hasn't changed, just the situation. So how do you decide? Do we stay with the same old blue we're used to or do we just paint the entire room a brand new color and fill it with things that compliment it.  Okay...I really need to stay away from Wayfair.com. Lol
     I'll end this hoping you all find the right shade you are looking for.  Love & light and ciao for now
   
 

Whats Love Got to Do With It?

     I think the hardest thing in the world is loving someone. Its also the easiest. Its a mirror effect of sorts. When you're in love, you cry when you are happy, and you cry when you are sad. The most unsettling crying is when you are crying because you are happy for someone, but sad for yourself.
  
It is like that quote:  How perfectly draining to, at the same time, always feel like far too much, and yet never quite enough.

Yep, I've loved the wrong people,at the wrong time, the right people at the wrong time, the right people at the right time and the right people without them knowing it.
But I regret none of it, its who I am. I still know love, from my spouse, from my family, and from my dear friends.
Let me lay another one on you. Basically it states that nothing is forever. BUT things change (or evolve)
“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.”
― W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge 
This is a great book, I recommend it.  

When the subject is love, my feelings and emotions have definitely switched. Found the needed balance so to speak, and its even better than before, its deep and real, makes you feel good, not sad. Ive also learned to love additions to my life, and if you truly love someone, it stays with you and lives in your heart, and you are better for it.
Love will change, because if love is ANYTHING; it's adaptable!